


Do What You Have to Do

by Deityofdeath



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-10 21:57:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 100,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/790625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deityofdeath/pseuds/Deityofdeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inu Yasha makes a difficult decision in leaving Kagome. His crippling depression and heat make him vulnerable to Sesshomaru's advances, Can he find love in his brothers uncaring arms, will he find it in the the consequences from that coupling? MPREG</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What ravages of spirit

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song " Do What You Have to Do " by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 1: What ravages of spirit

 

 

Heart ache.

Death is more welcome but I am not one who can die so easily nor do I have the right to. 

I had found my happy ending with Naraku’s defeat and the joining of the shards and I would have found myself in her world living peacefully but after two years of trying she has yet to conceive. She went to “her time’s” healer and he has said that she is healthy and there is no reason for us to not conceive and has asked me to come in so that he could say what I already knew. There was no need; the answer was there. I was the reason we could not have pups. With the answer unsaid between us I did what I thought was right. 

I took the shikon no tama from her dresser and wrote a small letter before I made my way to the well, the passage way between my time and hers and I jumped through one last time. It was as anti-climatic as any other day but it felt as if my world were crumbling. 

I waited for my breath to stop coming as I cried my sorrows by the well. I don’t know how long I stayed there; only that it was Kirara and Shippo that found me. I was led back to Kaede’s hut and there I spent endless hours, days, weeks and even months in sorrow. 

It is an emotional cut that cuts the deepest. 

That was what Kaede-baba had told Shippo when he asked when I would return to myself. 

It was on an overly bright day when I finally decided to leave the quiet and calm of Kaede’s hut for the first time in months. There was a cool spring breeze but it could not cool my over heated body nor quench the urge to move. I felt locked in my skin, as if it had grown tight around me like an old wool sweater. I felt tired or drained and at the same time I felt antsy and almost excited or impatient. 

I had made my way through the village and into the woods where I found my tree, my resting place from long ago; and I jumped into all too familiar branches. I lay down on those large branches and allowed my sorrow to lull me into a false sense of sleep as a cool breeze cooled my overheated body and the deep ache that burned in an unknown part deep inside me. It was in those calming branches with the snatches of gradient oranges, pinks and yellows of the setting sun shinning through gaps in darkened undersides of the multiple leaves adorning my rough sanctuary, that I caught the all too familiar aura of my older brother. 

I just lay there as it came closer and watched golden waves weave in and out of the leaves. When his scent drifted on the breeze the sound of his footsteps followed not too soon after. I felt his presence below me and felt his aura full force, his youkai screaming dominance.

“I had heard rumors but this Sesshomaru did not believe them. I would ask what caused you to desert your human priestess but your scent covers your territory like a fire lit in dry fields.”

My scent…oh, my scent! That would explain the chaos filled emotions and feelings as well as the heat that radiated off my body. 

“Your heat is upon you, marking you as an unmated bitch available for fucking.”

I looked down at him and saw an emotionless face which seemed odd considering the venom dipped words he had just delivered. 

“Does your heat keep you from speaking or has that human taken your tongue along with your heart, little brother?”

I continued staring at those swirling colors among the leaves as they darkened into crimson red among pink and further into light lavenders and deep blue violets of night.

I felt his power ripple across my skin and with it his heady and musky scent. He was aroused. My own brother was aroused by my scent. I felt a rush of air and then I saw my brother standing before me on my branch of solitude. His scent hit me and not too soon after so did his fist against my right cheek. I hit the back of my head against the tree trunk as I slid from my tree sanctuary and fell to the ground.

I lay there staring up at my brother and then once again into the twilight littered leaves. I felt his presence beside me and then all at once he was on me. Hands yanking and pulling at my clothing, tears and rips almost drowned out by the wind in the trees around us.

It didn’t take long for my heated skin to be bared in the cooling breeze. I felt his hands grab my waist and hips, scratching my skin carelessly as he flipped me over onto my knees in the soft green grass. At least I was somewhat cushioned. I felt those piercing claws puncture the soft flesh of my bottom as I was spread open for all to see. I felt one clawed finger trace my entrance and then a satisfied purr if one could call it that, it seemed too masculine to be a purr; left his mouth.

“You are like all other bitches, wet and waiting.”

That was all that was said before he plunged into my virgin entrance. 

Pain, sharp, white, blinding pain, engulfed me like a flame engulfs the dry fields. My breath caught painfully in my chest as tears gathered and quickly fell from my eyes. No sooner had I caught my breath that he started moving in slow in and out movements. Pain; sharp and burning in my entrance and then short and prickling along my spine. He continued moving and even with the pain I felt warmth, no not warmth a deep inferno deep inside me building, growing seeking an escape route grew and grew. It hurt in another way, one that I couldn’t understand. 

In, out. In, out and then blinding pleasure, ticklish in nature but causing that fire inside to burn more intense and immense than before. 

I felt his claws dig deep into my skin, plowing long searing lines along my sides and hips as he grew bigger deep inside me tensing and jerking hectically causing that pleasurable inferno to burst as my own neglected member emptied my useless essence into the grass below me while my brothers filled my once virgin channel, continuing to do so even as he collapsed against my back, his weight pushing me down onto my elbows. 

He pushed in further causing immense pain as his knot slid past my tightened opening. We were tied together and would be until his seed had filled me past brimming. I had done this many times with Kagome; the memories of her pleasure filled keening causing my orgasmic tears to be washed away by those of deep sadness. 

I lay underneath him feelings a jumble, emotions raw and unable to move or think. I felt his girth lessen and then he slid from body with a slick slopping sound, his seed running in rivulets out of my abused opening and in-between my legs and thighs. 

I felt the now chilly air against my now bared skin as he left me lying there in my own useless seed and his deep inside of me. 

“That should satiate your heated hunger for now younger brother,” and with that he tossed my fire rat robe atop me and turned and left.

 

To Be Continued….

Okay, I’d like to dedicate this story to Mallory AKA Mouse. We’ll miss you chicky. Wish you were still here with us. I know this boy loving would make your day. 

Kat >;_;


	2. Conjured this temptuous rage

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 2: Conjured this temptuous rage**

A month goes by much quicker when you have depression, loathing and a small amount of hate filling your every waking moment. One month turns into two in what feels like one. Not that I had many moments awake. I have found myself drained as of late. The smallest task leaves me exhausted and not too soon after sleeping in whatever spot I sat my weary body. This evidentially amused and worried my companions to no end. I suppose it was odd to find me sleeping in front of the fireplace or in a different corner every night and yes, once or twice on the roof and a few times invading Shippo’s futon, often snuggling against the kit and once found hugging him close.

 

It hadn’t really bothered me until I found myself running from the Kaede’s hut in the morning to vomit and dry heave whatever was left in my body undigested. I had managed to do this in privacy until this morning when I found my hair pulled away from my face by Kaede herself.

 

I wiped my mouth and moved away from the sour smell, Kaede releasing my hair as I did so.

 

“Have you, figured out what ails you Inu Yasha?”

 

I looked down at my bare feet and fidgeted a bit.

 

“From your, reaction I’m guessing you, suspect the culprit,” she asked more than said.

 

I stood there unsure of what to say, whether I should voice my suspicions or let her tell me what she thought or knew what it was.

 

“Come Inu Yasha, I’ll make you some tea to settle your stomach and then we shall give you a check up.”

 

I felt her move past me and into the hut and I followed softly behind her lost in my whirlwind thoughts. I sat down in front of the fire in the middle of the room and watched flames lick the sides of a small kettle that Kagome had left for Kaede before we had left for her time. I smelled an array of herbs and spices as she came to sit before the fire with tea cup in hand.

 

She pulled the kettle from the flames with a doubled rag and poured the steaming water into the fragrant tea cup causing wisps of steam to rise and with them the smells of mint, chamomile and a few other scents I couldn’t discern in the mix. She mixed it with a small spoon that Kagome had also left her and then held the cup out to me. I took it with one hand and brought it to me, wrapping both hands firmly around it before taking a deep sip. It was sweet and bitter at the same time but as I swallowed I felt it sooth my sore throat and sighed softly.

 

“Have you mated recently Inu Yasha?”

 

I wasn’t surprised by the question but I still self-consciously looked around, glad to find Shippo loudly snoring in the corner.

 

“I take your nervousness as a yes.”

 

“Yes, okay, yes.”

 

“I haven’t seen any signs of heat upon you so I believe that your mating was a success and that a pup has been conceived.”

 

I looked at my stomach which had already begun to soften and round.

 

“Yes.”

 

“There are few you would let touch you and there aren’t too many left who could best you in combat and only one other is as strong as you who wanders this territory.”

 

“He is the father and I’d rather he not know.”

 

“Is it pride or another worry that keeps you from telling him?”

 

“He sees me as less of a demon and almost less than a human on his chart. I don’t trust him enough to tell him of a conception between the two of us. Bitches do not find the mutts who have pupped them; they merely birth and raise the pups on their own. I don’t need him for that.”

 

“That is the animal not the demon clan Inu Yasha, both of us know that the two of you are the last of your clan in this territory and that he would want to know of an heir to his lands.”

 

“I will not tell him, he treated me like a lesser being and I will not have any pup of ours growing up like that!”

 

I found myself gasping for air after yelling louder than I had meant to.

 

“Uhhnn….what’s going on”, asked Shippo as he sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

 

“It is nothing Shippo, Inu Yasha and I were just talking.”

 

“We might as well tell him Ba-ba. I am already starting to show it won’t be long before it’s even more noticeable.”

 

“Tell me what,” Shippo asked sitting up and ruffling his bed flattened hair.

 

“I’m expecting a pup.”

 

The look on Shippo’s face was priceless and all at once you could see the answers he had been seeking about my return come to him. He had realized why Kagome and I could not make a pup together.

 

And as I saw it fill his thoughts I realized that I did right in leaving Kagome and her time. Our love would be love but neither of us was meant be together, both of us had the job of passing on our genetics and those of someone else. We had to pass on our thoughts, dreams and our stories to others. I suppose that in itself was good enough but now I had to explain to those remaining how I had found myself pupped.

 

“You must not tell anyone, Shippo. This has to stay within our pack. I will tell Sango and Miroku when they return to visit. I may even need their help.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Sesshomaru pupped me, its best to avoid rumors and news traveling his way. I want him to think I’m avoiding his contact for no other reason that what’s been done.”

 

“Fine…”

 

“So what do you plan to do, Inu Yasha,” asked Kaede.

 

I sighed, “I will stay here for now since it is the safest place to be hidden until the pup arrives. Sango is coming down with Miroku in a month’s time for more healers training. When the pup is born I’d like to follow them back to the youkai hunter territory. With their clan rebuilding itself having me there is like hiding a needle in a haystack. Who would sense me and my pup with all the youkai armor and other parts surrounding their huts, in their weapons, armor, gates and land?”

 

“Sounds like you’ve thought this through somewhat Inu Yasha.”

 

I nodded, “I had a feeling I was pupped when my morning retching started. It’s a safe bet that it hasn’t crossed Sesshomaru’s mind that I can be pupped because I’m a lowly hanyou so I should be safe unless rumor and news of my condition spreads.”

 

Kaede nodded and so did Shippo. It was the start of a secret I would kill to keep.

 

 

********************************************************

 

 

Time seemed to fly as days turned to weeks and the weeks became a month. It was now near the end of July and it felt it. The weather was every bit as hot as one would expect in the summer. Occasionally there were breezes but more often than not they were hot like a breath across your body. I watched as Shippo and the youngin’s played in the cool stream a small distance away from the rice patties I helped to tend in the scorching sun.

 

I stood wiping the sweat off my brow with my arm, which was luckily clean of mud. I heard Shippos’s gleeful shout from across the field and watched him bound out of the water and uphill towards two familiar shapes in the distance.

 

Miroku and Sango…

 

It had been two years since I had last seen them. And looking at the toddler bobbing along beside them and the one being carried in Miroku’s arms I could say that the two of them had been more successful in breeding than I had.

 

I watched as they talked animatedly and then Shippo jumped up and excitedly pointing in my direction. I watched their heads turn and the confused expressions form on their faces. I stood up straighter and wiped my hands along my pants legs before stepping out of the patties and walking towards Kaede’s hut. I wasn’t looking forward to explaining things so I opted to make my way to the cold mountain fed springs instead.

 

It was a bit of a walk but a quiet one. I found the spring and took a deep whiff of air tasting it on my tongue, scenting to be sure that it was safe before I undressed. Nothing out of the ordinary hit my sensitive nose so I simply started undressing, setting my clothes beside me. Once I was completely nude I leaned over the spring dipping the first article of clothing into it slapping it against stones and the water before scrubbing it against the rocky sides. When I finished the first I hung it up on a near by branch in the sweltering sun to dry. I did this with each piece of clothing and when I had them all hanging in various places on various sunlit branches I stepped into the spring slowly and carefully. I had become much more cautious now that I was with pup. It wouldn’t do to harm the life within me because of my own stupidity and clumsiness.

 

Soon I was waist deep in the middle of clear cold water that smelled slightly of pine. I ducked my head under watching the water overhead shimmer in the shining sun. I came up, my long locks plastered against my head, neck and back. It felt nice and relaxing as I washed away the grime, dirt and sweat from my body, stopping when my hands slid over my ever present swell which grew a little more each day.

 

It looked as though I had simply over-eaten at first but now, now it looked like a small melon had been pushed under my skin. I lay my hands over it and closed my eyes. I could feel a faint aura, very faint but there. I carried a full demon, I could tell. One would not feel the aura of a hanyou or human, not unless they were powerful but even then their aura’s felt “different” from those of youkai.

 

I lay against a smooth rock near the springs edge and watched the sky filter through the leaves and wondered what I carried, a male or female pup. The hot breeze blew across my body drying my bangs in its attempt at cooling those out in the heat.

 

I finally stood and made my way out of the spring, stopping to quench my thirst in a small waterfall before gathering my now dried clothes and slipping them on. They felt more comfortable with the sticky sweat washed away and smelled a lot better as well. I flipped my hair over my shoulders and made my way back to Kaede’s hut. As I walked the sky darkened, like the dimming of a candle in a darkened room.

 

I saw many of the field hands and farmers heading back to their own dwellings for dinner and sleep which I too wanted to do but something told me even with my absence and Kaede and Shippo to tell the tale I would still have much to explain.

 

Upon reaching the hut I stepped inside and witnessed a wide-eyed infant starring up at me. I starred down at what I assumed was a young girl as she studied me. Her eyes were a deep brown and her hair the smooth silky ebony tresses that resembled Sango’s. Her facial structure and eye shape were all Miroku, one could wonder if he had looked similar to this when he was her age. She suckled her thumb, a raggedy cloth which I assumed was a blanket held tight against her small pudgy body. She removed her thumb and looked up at me, giving me a smile.

 

“Puppy!”

 

I couldn’t imagine what look I had on my face but I heard the laughter behind her but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

 

“No, Hitomi. Inu Yasha,” Sango said as she walked towards her daughter.

 

Hitomi gave a once over and then pointed up at my face declaring once again, “Puppy”, turning towards her mother with her face set in a stern manner as if daring her mother to tell her other wise.

 

I knelt in front of her and pointed at my ears, “puppy”, I asked as I eyed her.

 

She grinned and nodded, “Puppy!”

 

“Want to feel,” I asked.

 

She nodded eagerly so I lowered my head allowing her to pet my ears hearing her ohh’s and ahh’s as she did so. When she had her fill she patted my knee to get my attention. I looked at her and watched as she wrapped her arms around my knees and attempt to climb into my lap.

 

I grinned and lifted her into my arms, holding her close, “She’s a cute kid Miroku, definitely takes after her mother.”

 

“Oh, I agree her looks are mine but her manners definitely came from Miroku,” said Sango as she sniffed but gave a grin all the same.

 

I held Hitomi close as I sat down beside the fire place with the others, their eldest child watching me cautiously from across the fire a look of jealousy and curiosity across freckled cheeks.

 

“What’s your name kid,” he gave me a surprised look before glancing down.

 

“This is our son Katsurou,” said Sango as she softly ruffled his hair.

 

The night had continued on in much the same manner as Katsurou watched me with curious eyes weighing me with a gaze much unlike a child while his sister lay sleeping in my lap. We woke Hitomi to eat and when the meal was finished I watched Miroku lift his yawning daughter and carry her into the guest quarters. Sango looked down at her son and said softly, “Go ahead Katsurou.”

 

He gave me a look that said what was on his mind so I stood up and knelt in front of him lowering my head to his height. When I felt nothing I took a deep breath, “Go ahead kid, touch them. I can’t kneel here all night.”

 

I felt his hands quickly pet and softly squeeze my ears and then the sound of his hurried footsteps as he ran to the guest room, Sango and Kaede chuckling at his quick departure.

 

“Thank you, Inu Yasha. I believe that you will be a good parent, it seems as though you can read children pretty well,” Sango said as I situated myself back into my abandoned space.

 

“It’s not hard; he reminds me a little of Kagome’s younger brother and a lot of Shippo.”

 

The quiet loomed over us until Miroku returned, child free. He sat down beside his wife and cleared his throat.

 

 

“We’ve heard what happened from Kaede and Shippo and we’re more than excited to have you join us once the pup is born, Inu Yasha. We’ll be her until next spring so Sango can complete her healer training. That will give you plenty of time to recover after the birth of the pup.”

 

I let out my held breath and nodded, “Thanks Miroku, Sango.”

 

The rest of the night was spent in quiet conversation about Sango’s training and my impending delivery.

 

 

 

 

To Be Continued…..l

 

 

I haven’t given up on my older stories; my muse just wouldn’t let me continue until I at least started this one. I’m still alive and writing. I’m still staffing Otakon as well as other cons so basically I’m pretty freaking busy especially when you add the fact that I only get one day off a week. Well bye for now!

 

Kat >^_^<


	3. Created you a monster

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 3: Created you a monster

 

It’s funny how time continues to fly whether you want it to or not. The month of August came and went and I was glad to see it go. It was one thing to endure the heat and another to endure it while four months pregnant. No one argued when I opted not to leave the cool comfort of Kaede’s hut or the mountain fed spring. 

It was now mid September and the weather was once again cooling down to comfortable levels. Kaede and Sango wandered the fields in another test of what plants, herbs and trees could be used as remedies and in basic first aid. Miroku was out on another mission exercising bad spirits. Shippo and I had been coerced into babysitting Hitomi and Katsurou. It wasn’t as bad as I thought, the two were easily amused and a simple walk in the woods or a ball brought them giggling at my feet. Katsurou seemed to take everything in stride; his cool attitude was slowly melting away but he still seemed weary of anyone other than his immediate family. 

We sat in a small grassy field, Shippo playing leapfrog with Katsurou and Hitomi chasing anything that moved among the flowers, her current target was a helpless lady bug. As I watched them I felt a small fluttering, almost ticklish feeling inside the melon shaped ball that was now my midsection. I placed my hand on it feeling it once more. 

I grinned despite myself as the tickling continued. 

“What’s wrong Inu Yasha,” asked Shippo as he and Katsurou came running up to me catching Hitomi’s attention in the process.

“The pup has decided to finally get my attention,” I said with a grin. 

“You can feel it,” asked Katsurou looking wide eyed.

“Just a little,” I replied looking into those dark eyes filled with wonder.

“Touch,” called Hitomi.

“You can touch but you won’t be able to feel it yet, Hitomi.”

She looked at me, confused.

“What does it feel like,” asked Shippo.

“My Mom’s tummy would wiggle and you could feel bumps when she was carrying Hitomi,” said Katsurou, his eyes still fixed on my ever-growing waistline. 

“We won’t feel those for another month or so. Right now…,” I pulled Shippo close and tickled his stomach causing him to giggle and struggle to get away.

“It feels like that.”

Katsurou looked envious so I reached over and tickled him too causing him to laugh out loud which was a very pleasant sound. 

“Me, me, me!”

I laughed and looked down at Hitomi, picking her up and tickling her until she giggled out, “stop” repeatedly. 

Sango and Kaede approached us from the fields smiling as they did so, telling me they had seen the tickle attacks. 

“Have you been having fun,” Sango asked as she approached.

“Inu Yasha can feel the pup,” Shippo announced hopping around excitedly. 

“That’s great news, sounds as though everything is progressing well,” said Kaede with her hands on her lower back. 

“Let’s head back and get dinner started,” said Kaede and by the time I stood she had shuffled past me. I could tell this pregnancy was only going to get more fun as it progressed. 

 

********************************************************

 

October came in flurry of brightly colored leaves they blew in the wind and covered the ground in a carpet of warm colors. I was trying to teach Shippo to hunt in the noisy environment and how to use the sounds around you to blend in. It was hard teaching him when my ever growing middle not only slowed me down but caused my movements to become louder and more clumsy but we pulled it off, bringing home small amounts of meat after each session, enough to feed us with a bit left over to be salted and stored in the meat shed. Katsurou often followed and did just as well as Shippo even with his young age and lack of demon abilities. He was extremely proud of his sling caught squirrel. 

I was thankful for the chilly weather; I was now able to hide my expanding middle in layers of clothes. It was sometimes too warm but better safe than sorry. 

Later in the month we all joined the town in its harvest. It was a large gathering of wheat, corn, wild rice, squash and pumpkins of all kinds as well as apples. We had fresh apples often and it seemed as though I couldn’t get enough of them. Kaede told me not to worry when I voiced my concerns, saying that it was just a craving due to the unborn pup. She bought a few large bushels and jarred a few in slices; while others she mashed and placed them into jars with cinnamon calling it “apple sauce” which was a new addiction of mine. Now if only I had some of that ramen to eat with it.

 

********************************************************

 

November was a pleasant month spent with the young ones teaching them what I knew of nature and hunting, more often that not walking with Hitomi tied to my back. I had found a quiet joy in their company and I often wondered if Kagome had found a happiness of her own. Had she married Honjou? She should have graduated and finished her worlds “High School”. I was betting that she was headed to another type of school called “college”. She said she wanted to get a degree in history, she’s seen enough of it so she should do fine. 

Even with these thoughts I still managed to continue my current life, the pup kicking my abused bladder. I rubbed my overly large middle and continued walking, my breath now making wisps of smoke in the cold air. 

“Hungry, Yasha,” said Hitomi from my back.

I stopped and cupped my hands around my mouth, “Katsurou, Shippo! It’s time to head back.”

I heard the crunching of leaves and saw them come running, racing back to my side. They were almost nose to nose but I saw Shippo stop short letting Katsurou win. Both were rosy cheeked and out of breath but happiness shined in forest green and ebony eyes. 

“Let’s head back and get dinner ready before Kaede-baba and your mother get back from the nearby town. I bet it would surprise them.”

Both nodded, still fighting to catch their breath as we turned around headed toward home. Once home I had found I had two willing helpers underfoot. I grabbed a small cracker and held it behind my back until small fingers plucked it from mine. I got two pieces of cloth and tied my sleeves back. I had Shippo start the den fire and sent Katsurou to gather some potatoes and leeks from the storage closet. I set a clean pot on the floor and when both Shippo and Katsurou returned I sent them outside to fill it with water. Once it was filled I placed it over the fire by hanging it on the fire place hook. 

I had them fetch me another small bowl of water while I fetched a large bowl of rice from a storage bag. The boys helped me pour the rice into the water and rinse it until it was cleaned and then we dumped the water and the two went to fetch more water while I handed Hitomi another cracker and gathered the potatoes, peeling them and then cutting them into smaller pieces. I dropped the potatoe pieces into the bowling pot above the fire. I snagged another pot and pulled another hook over the fire and placed a small pot with the rice near the flame. The two returned and I poured a small amount of water into the rice. 

As the rice and potatoes boiled I sliced the leeks and put them into a bowl for Shippo to dump into the pot of potatoes. I added a few spices and a little bit of salted chicken and fish to give the soup some flavor and with the left over water I set a tea pot to boiling. I untied Hitomi from my back and set a blanket a little ways from our eating area, setting her on it with her favorite doll. 

The boys gathered plates and bowls and set them before the fire. No sooner had the potato and leek soup finished than Miroku walked in removing his sandals and thick woolen cloak. He came in and gave his son and daughter a hug before sitting in front of the fire.

“It feels nice in here, smells nice too. I see you and the boys have been busy.”

“Dinner will be done soon, the tea has just started to boil,” I answered as I pulled up a stool to sit on. 

The tea kettle started whistling just as I sat and I sighed and attempted to stand.

“Stay sitting Inu Yasha, I’ll fetch the tea; Shippo why don’t you put a nice big scoop of rice in each bowl and Katsurou why don’t you ladle some soup into the larger bowls.”

Both did as asked and I sat there stunned. Dinner was done and tea was poured into cups just as the entrance to the hut opened again allowing Kaede and Sango entrance. 

“It smells wonderful in here. Was this your doing Miroku,” asked Sango as she slid off her sandals and woolen cloak and then helped Kaede with her cloak.

“As much as I would love to take credit for this I have to admit that it was Inu Yasha’s doing.”

“I had help,” I replied placing my hands on my belly hoping to quiet my now active pup.

“Well done Inu Yasha, your pup will be lucky to have you as its mother,” said Kaede as she sat down on a cloth mat before the fire.

The words made me blush and my eyes teared just a little. Damn hormones….

 

To Be Continued…

THANK YOU for reading! Thank you for all your reviesws, they mean a lot. I plan to continue my stories I just have to get this one finished. This idea has been nagging at me for over a year now. I figure if I get written then I can devote my time to my other fics once again. 

So here’s hoping~!!!

 

Kat


	4. Broken by the rules of love

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 4: Broken by the rules of love

 

The month of December was upon us and the beginning of the month had blessed us with much snow. Shippo and Katsurou bundled up and played outside as often as we would let them. On days when the snow wasn’t as deep and the skies were clear I gave them tracking lessons as well as secrets to avoid others from following their tracks. The lessons went well and both were great students. Katsurou had had some training in Sango’s youkai hunting village from what was left of her now once again growing tribe. 

As my pup and belly grew I found myself unable to do the simplest tasks. Bending over was damn near impossible and sitting and standing were now assisted. My back was often sore and throbbing along with my feet and ankles. I grinned and bore the pain and even the constant bathroom breaks. 

I also became a training subject for Sango. She knew much about pregnancies having had two her self but male pregnancy and youkai were two new aspects of it for her. Both she and Kaede took constant notes on my physical and emotional behaviors. 

As of late I excitedly waited for the birth of my pup and dreaded it all at once. And today was no exception.

“Inu Yasha, are you okay?”

I looked up from my belly which was tightened and rubbed it slowly, “Yeah, I think.”

Sango gave me a look of disbelief but let it drop for the time being. I fumbled on my stool until I was standing and waddled my way to the storage shelf pulling out two large quilts. I walked back to a corner of the room that had become mine as of late and laid the blankets down on a small futon Kaede had procured for me. I arranged them and rearranged them until they felt soft and fluffy and “perfect” and then the all too familiar tightening in my stomach happened again. I rubbed my belly until it loosened and then stood up. 

I made my way to the doorway and grabbed one of the many woolen cloaks hanging in the doorway and wrapped it around my body. 

“Inu yasha,” Sango hesitated saying the unsaid question full of worry. 

“I’m just going for a quick walk. I’m feeling kind of restless.”

She gave a small smile and nodded.

I opened the door and saw Miroku outside playing with the little ones. I walked outside and trekked past them waving a hello as I did so. I had no destination really, I just kept walking in the crunching snow watching as the pale gray sky and tree’s passed. Before I knew it I had found myself standing in front of the all too familiar well. My stomach tightened again, this time painful enough to stop my breath and not stopping at my stomach but pulling deep in my lower back. 

I slid down to sit with the well supporting my back. I felt the pain lessen and I sat there watching a few snow flakes fall slowly to the ground until once again the pain stole my breath. It was then that the smell of copper filled my nose. Blood, I was bleeding. It wasn’t serious, Sango and Kaede had told me of the body bleeding as it readied to expel the child and knew that these tightening’s were more than mere pains. 

My pup wanted out, he or she was ready to join the outside world. I gasped as my stomach tightened again and struggled to stand, rocking back and forth in order to get up. I was occupied by the pain and hadn’t noticed the shuffling foot steps. It was the raspy voice that drew my attention.

“Do you need help mutt face?” 

I looked up into the deep blue green eyes of Kouga, wolf prince and knew I must have been a pitiful sight. I took a deep breath and nodded adding in a soft “please”. 

I watched his eyes widen and saw the knowledge of what I had said fill them. He held out his hands and I took them shakily. He helped heave me to my feet and that movement caused the pup to kick harshly deep in their cramped space. I wrapped my arms around my belly and started to slowly shuffle past him.

“There’s blood where you were sitting,” he said surprised.

“I know,” I said as I continued walking.

“Are you hurt….and why are you so fat? Wait, you smell different mutt.”

I didn’t answer but I felt his presence behind me, following.

“You smell familiar…like the females in my tribe…”

God, he’s dumb!

I then heard him sputtering, “You’re with pup!?”

“Keep it…down…wimpy wolf,” I responded winded.

“How did you become bitch,” he asked softly as he followed closely beside me.

“It’s a long story…just do me a favor and keep your muzzle shut. I’d like it to stay a secret…ow…”

“It’s coming!?”

Like I said, he’s an idiot.

“Want to be of some use and go tell Sango that it’s time”?

“What about you? I can’t just leave you out here by yourself! You smell of blood and pups, and at the moment you’re pretty weak. You do know that pregnant females are a delicacy to some youkai right?”

I sighed and hissed as the pain worsened, “Fine stay with me just please stop screaming, I’d prefer to not draw any more attention to us then necessary.”

The tree’s lessened and I saw the Kaede’s hut in the distance and outside of it were Shippo, Katsurou and Miroku still playing. We neared as my belly kept cramping and I was close enough to see the expressions on their faces as they played. I watched as Shippo looked up and started waving excitedly smiling. I watched as the smile faded and a look of terror crossed that small face. I turned around and saw a small group of youkai at our backs. I waddled a little faster and then felt a pair of arms lift me into the air as we gained speed. 

We sped past Shippo and the gang who soon followed us to Kaede’s hut. Kaede and Sango stood at the hut entrance with questioning looks. Kouga set me down in front of them and looked back at the demons that came closer to the village. 

“Demon slayer, grab your weapon. Inu Yasha’s scent has attracted some of the smaller demons and we need to destroy them before it gathers unwanted attention. I have a feeling there are certain demon’s that would be curious as to why the lesser ones are gathering here.”

Sango nodded and patted me on my shoulder, “Go inside Inu Yasha. Kaede, he’s in labor.”

She grabbed her weapon and headed out just as Katsurou and Shippo made their way to the hut, Katsurou holding Hitomi close.

“Come inside boys, I’ll have work for you to do, Inu Yasha change from those clothes and into a clean robe.”

I waddled my way inside, Kaede leading me past my futon and into her small room. 

“It’s best if you birth here. I’ll have Katsurou and Shippo bring in your bedding, go get changed,” she said handing me a cream colored robe. 

I watched and waited as Shippo and Katsurou carried in my futon and laid it on floor in a corner of the room. 

“I want you two to go and take a bucket and place it in the pot over the stove and start boiling water. When you’re done that bring me clean towels and linens.”

The two followed her advice and I changed out of my soiled robes and set them aside, slipping on the cream colored one. Pains assaulted my body as I did so, making it a slow process. 

The sound of battle echoed through the village and it was clearly heard in Kaede’s hut since they were practically fighting on the doorstep. 

“Don’t concern yourself with the battle. Concentrate on that pup’s delivery. I nodded and found myself at a loss as to what to do, where to sit or whether I wanted to sit or lay. The pains continued and time seemed to center around when the next pain would come. I could hear Shippo and Katsurou’s voice distantly, saying that the water was boiling and I felt my body’s changes as I paced back and forth, hoping gravity would help. 

The pains gained strength and soon I found myself kneeling on one of the quilts I had pulled from the storage closet, my arms braced against the wooden walls. I felt the pressure grow and center between my legs at the entrance that had been virgin before Sesshomaru’s assault nine months ago. 

“Kaede, Kaede, Kaede! Sesshomaru is outside!”

I gasped as another contraction hit at the same time as the news.

“What says he,” she asked kneeling down behind me, pulling my hair behind me.

“He wanted to know why the youkai suddenly started attacking and why Inu Yasha’s blood is scented on the air and by the well,” replied Shippo in his excitedly worried tone. 

I tensed and hissed as the weight deep inside pressed down more at my entrance.

“And what was he told,” asked Kaede as I felt her tugging softly at my hair until it was plaited and pulled over my shoulder.

“Kouga said he saw him leave the well an hour ago with minor wounds,” he replied.

“Mama and Papa told him that they hadn’t seen Inu Yasha since he wandered off nine months ago,” replied Katsurou.

“Has he left,” she asked.

“No…he..he’s…still out there…I can sense him…,” I gasped out as my entrance strained further. 

“I don’t think he believes us,” said Shippo as his fangs worried his lower lip. 

“If I must convince him I will,” she stood and put her hands behind her back stretching before going over and picking up a thick piece of leather.

“I’ll need you to be silent if this is to work, when the pain gets to you bite down on this. It helps and that way you don’t break any teeth.”

No sooner had she handed it to than I felt my entrance strain and rip. I grabbed the leather and put it between my teeth, biting down as scream bubbled up from my throat.

“Come boys,” she said as she left, closing the door. 

I gasped for breath through the gag and my nose and fought to be quiet so I could listen in, my sensitive ears swerving here and there to find the direction.

“Why are you causing unease outside my home, Lord Sesshomaru?”

“This Sesshomaru wants to know why those youkai attacked your cottage and why my hanyou brother’s scent is by the well.”

“I believe you could tell us more than we could tell you. Last time these old eyes saw Inu Yasha was nine moths ago. I believe you were sighted round this way then, Lord Sesshomaru.”

I felt some satisfaction but it was short lived when the straining pressure grew and when pain and relief became one as relief came pouring down my inner things, pooling beneath me. My waters had broken. 

The pain intensified and I scraped my claw-like nails down the wall leaving trails in their wake. I once again found my body tightening and screaming as loud as the leather gag would allow me.

“Who is in your hut, healer,” asked Sesshomaru with some venom. 

“That would be a young mother birthing her first child. Don’t tell me you suspect that she is your brother. If you do please follow me into the hut, I suspect her waters have broken and the child is crowning.”

An awkward pause filled the air and I silently prayed he would leave as my opening strained further and the feel of something pushing through it caused another scream to tear from my now abused throat. 

“I’ve no more time to waste on you, that child will be born with or without me but I give the mother more of a fighting chance with me there. Sango, come and leave his royal highness standing there. I need your assistance.”

I heard foot steps and then I turned and watched as Kaede followed by Sango entered the room. 

“Let me check you, Inu Yasha.” I stayed kneeling as Kaede’s hands slide under my robe and to my entrance which was now one throbbing ache in itself. 

“It’s crowning. Do you wish to stay kneeling or do you want to lie down,” Kaede asked as she removed her hands. 

“Kneeling,” I said as I spit out the leather. 

I felt Sesshomaru’s presence slowly vanish and knew he had left. 

“Sango, fetch a bowl of boiled water and bring it in here and set it to my right.”

I felt searing pain through my back and middle as my body worked to expel the pup inside me.

“Push through each pain. When the pain stops you stop and take a small break.” 

I nodded and leaned more against the wall as the pain left my body. It was only a small respite and soon another began.

“Push! That’s it! Keep pushing!”

I felt that pressure building as the head of my pup began to make its way out.

“Give me your hand Inu Yasha,” demanded Kaede.

I did as told and she led it to where opening and where she placed it sent my mind reeling as I felt the top of my pups head, feeling the wet and slime covered orb covered in slicked back hair. 

“No, dog ears….” Was all I could say. 

I heard Kaede and Sango’s chuckles and I almost felt foolish for having said it.

“It’s a shame really, I rather hoped he or she would have them,” said Sango. 

Pain hit again and I did as asked and pushed until I could feel the forehead and upper half of my pup’s nose. I placed both hands back on the wall and concentrated on gathering my energy. 

“Almost there Inu Yasha, once the heads out it’s all down hill from there,” said Sango. 

Pain startled me and I began pushing once more.

“That’s it! Keep going!”

It was then that I felt a “pop” and most of the pressure had disappeared. 

“Good job Inu Yasha, the heads out!”

“Deep breath and push slowly…good good,” coached Kaede.

I felt the shoulders and then the rest of my pups body slip from my own and heard shouts of happiness. 

I leaned against that clawed up wall and breathed, fighting for my breath as I waited to hear my pups cry. I heard a snip and felt my connection to my pup sever. I got on all fours shakily and turned to see my pup. 

No sooner had I turned myself to see it than cries cut into the air coming from a small naked…boy. Boy! I had a son! His cries were loud and healthy and his. I collapsed onto the dirty and filth covered quilt, thankful for a resting place. 

“Congratulations, Inu Yasha,” whispered Sango with a soft smile. 

“Come Inu Yasha, spread your legs. The afterbirth still has to be delivered. You’ll get to hold your pup soon enough.”

I felt a few weak twinges, smaller pains than those from before but did as asked and soon I felt a soft mass pass onto the quilt below me followed by a warm rag moving over my legs and private areas. I hissed as water containing herbs leaked into open tears and still sore areas. 

I was helped into a standing position and a thick piece of cloth was stuck between my opening to catch the fluids and blood still draining from my body. I was helped into a new robe and led to my futon. I was helped into a laying position and given a warm cup.

“Drink, it’ll help heal your body as well as numb the pain.”

I looked across the room where Sango was wrapping my freshly bathed pup in a clean blanket. 

She stood up and carried him towards me and felt my heart constrict just a little. I would finally get to see the small life that had grown inside of me for nine months. 

As she leaned down and placed the bundle in my arms I cradled him close and pulled the blanket from his arms and chest, reveling in pink plump perfection. I pulled his left arm out counting five fingers with five perfect finger nails and then did the same for the right. I lifted his right foot and counted five toes with five toe nails and repeated it with the left. I then explored perfectly pointed ears and soft now fluffly white hair, almost silver by candle light which now covered the room since night had fallen around us. 

His cheeks were plump and as of yet had no sign markings and probably wouldn’t until he hit puberty if he developed them at all but he did have a small blue crescent moon upon his brow. I was now betting he would develop those stripes later on in life. 

I cuddled him close, his crying dying down a little as I did so.

“It’s best to feed him; it’ll also help speed up your body’s process of returning to normal.”

I opened the new robe to reveal my now swollen and leaking chest and gently led him to my willing nipple. At first he turned his nose up at it and then he latched on sucking heartily. 

I watched him suckle and closed my eyes, laying further into the pillows behind me. 

“What will you name him,” asked Sango as she placed a large basket already covered with blankets beside me. 

“Ryuusei,” I said softly as I used my free hand to caress his soft silvery tresses. 

She smiled, “Very appropriate.”

I felt the suction lessen and then he let go all on his own. I watched as Sango lifted him from my arms and laid him against her chest, gently patting his back until a soft burp was heard. I continued to watch as she placed him in the basket by my bedside and covered his lower body with a soft baby blanket and then felt her lean over me, closing my robe and then tucking me in.

“Sleep Inu Yasha, you’ll have much work ahead of you come morning.”

With that I closed my eyes and left the stress, numbed pain and exhaustion pull me into sleep.

 

To Be Continued….

YAY~!! More to come. Please enjoy.


	5. And fate has led you through it

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 5: And fate has led you through it**

That next day began at three am with my sons healthy wails. I moved, hissing as I did so and lifted him from his cocoon of soft blankets in his basket. I felt his bottom and found it wet. I took a deep breath and held him tightly to my chest as I sat up further. I was glad to see that Sango had thought ahead, leaving a small pile of cloths to be used as diapers and a small bowl of water with lavender. I laid Ryusei on my lap and undid his wet cloth diaper, opening it. I wiped what I could with the soiled one before folding it up and setting it aside, picking up a cloth to lay his bottom on while I washed up the rest of his mess with a cold rag, to which he voiced his displeasure on. I then grabbed another cloth and doubled it before tying it closed against his now dry bottom.

 

His whimpers all but stopped but his mouth pulled into a pucker and he made soft sucking noises letting me know of his hunger. I slid my robe from my left shoulder and brought him to my chest which he eagerly latched on to and drank hungrily from. Once he had finished I did as I had saw Sango do and then wiped the milky drool from his lips and surrounding mouth. He fell asleep not too soon after that and I lay awake a few moments longer just watching him as he slept. I did that for a few moments more debating about placing him in his basket. I fought the urge and instead placed him beside me, bringing the covers over us both, snuggling him against me falling asleep.

 

I woke later in the afternoon and found three eager faces hovering over me.

 

“Puppy,” asked Hitomi’s all too cheerful voice.

 

“No, not a puppy,” I replied sitting up and uncovering Ryusei enough that they could see him.

 

I let them get closer and watched as their eyes widened in amazement that only the younger children had. I felt eyes boring into me and looked up. There in the doorway stood Kouga.

 

“You can come in and see my son as well mangy wolf. I won’t bite, I promise.”

 

I watched as he entered and made his way over. He knelt down behind the children and looked over their heads at my son and gave a nod.

 

“He looks healthy, looks an awful lot like your brother. You know the one who showed up yesterday looking for his hanyou half brother, in other words…you.”

 

I looked down at Ryusei and placed my fingers above his and reveled in the softness of his skin.

 

“You can’t ignore this Inu Yasha, it sounds like he’s searching for you for one reason or another. He’s royalty and that means he has connections and he’ll find you one way or another.”

 

I looked up into his deep cerulean eyes and saw concern.

 

“I know…I just…I know…I’d rather not talk about this in front of the little ones.”

 

“You can avoid the issue for now but eventually that little ones going to wonder who his sire is and you won’t stay out of heat forever. If Sesshomaru has claimed you as his with or without marks he will find you.”

 

I watched as he approached and knelt down behind the kids placing his hand softly on Ryusei’s head and smiled.

 

“He’s a handsome kid Inu Yasha. I’ll keep my word and your secret, should you need my aid you know where to find me.”

 

And with that he left the room and the hut and then the village.

 

I learned later on from Sango and the others that Kouga had helped rid the village of the rampaging demons and had even helped to dispose of the bodies. Kaede said he refused to leave until he saw that Ryusei and I were both well.

 

I fed Ryusei continuously throughout the day and wondered at all his parts and functions and movements. Every yawn, burp and noise had my attention.

 

This continued for days until I was healthier and healed and able to move more freely among the house. I found myself in a quiet routine of cooking and cleaning with Ryusei attached to my body by a wrap that Sango had made me. He never left my side for longer than a minute or two.

 

Ryusei grew in pounds and inches and his eyes opened revealing molten gold like mine and his fathers, eyes that were often lit with happiness and curiosity. His body grew stronger and soon his neck could support his head and it no longer bobbed here or there. His hands and tiny fingers grabbed at anything they could get a hold of, my hair was often his target. I had taken to braiding it like Kaede had on his Ryusei’s birth day. A braid which he tugged on constantly to get my attention, which worked every time, Kaede often said that Ryusei had me wrapped around his small fingers, and he did.

 

His legs gained strength as December became January and January became February. He kicked and when I lay him down on soft blankets on the floor he worked his small muscles until he finally rolled himself over. I stopped whatever I was doing and watching the surprise cover his tiny face at his accomplishment.

 

He went from rolling over to hands and knees by the time spring came and was crawling around freely when April came. He was into everything and anything, which often went into his mouth which was beginning to sprout small teeth here and there. Teething; was a tiring and patience testing time. Crying and moodiness became common place with my once pleasant Ryusei.

 

It was also during that time of moodiness that Ryusei also learned to stand and took his first few steps. As April became May Sango had finished her training and begun to pack to leave. Kaede was taking on another apprentice so I too begun my packing with the few things that Ryusei and I had attained over the few months and said our farewell’s.

 

Shippo would be staying, saying that someone had to guard the village and Kaede-baba. I would have said otherwise if I hadn’t noticed the height and muscle he had gained and if I hadn’t help train him my self. The brat now stood at my waist and was as quick if not quicker than his animal counter part the fox.

 

Katsurou had gained a few inches himself but still had more to go, he was only going on six so it was no surprise but his mature demeanor always made one think he was much older. He reminded me of his Uncle Kohaku in that aspect, Kohaku who was still with my brother and his ward Rin, my brother who was my deciding factor to leave with Sango and Miroku.

 

We were packed and ready to go, with Ryusei strapped to my front and our belongings on my back I said my goodbyes by giving in and letting Kaede hug me, pretending to not enjoy it while she did so and giving Shippo a rough noogie, ruffling and misplacing his bright red locks in the process. I watched as Sango and Miroku said their goodbyes along with Hitomi and Katsurou and then we were on our way.

 

Life on the road brought back many memories from years past, traveling together to find shards, fighting many stray beasts as we did. It felt strange to travel with children this time around although more pleasant.

 

It was fun teaching Hitomi and Katsurou and watching as Ryusei stared in awe at everything around him. It was on the road that Ryusei said his first word, “Chichiue”. It came out a bit more jumbled but we all understood what was said. That one word led to his next which was milk and then more and followed by hungry. By the time we had reached the village he was trying out his new words in sentences.

 

I was given my own hut in the back of the walled village and it was there that Ryusei and I made our home.

 

It is said that the happier you are the faster time passes. I spent the year helping in the hunt of rogue youkai in the surrounding area and the rest of my days were spent helping with the planting and harvesting of plants. I became a source of information on youkai and often retold stories of our travels to teach young hunters.

 

Ryusei grew and made friends with Hitomi and Katsurou’s help. He grew from a small pudgy infant who stumbled and mumbled to a gangly youth who ran around with his gang of young accomplices in trouble with the ease of a six year old. It made me proud to see the small crimson lines appear on his cheeks as he grew and amazed me more to see his skills in tag and hide-n-seek. He had a grace I never would and I knew only Sesshomaru could take credit for that. His hair was silver white like the light of a full moon and had to be pulled back into a pony tail atop his head to keep it from covering his eyes and getting tangled in bushes, trees and thorns which was an amusing sight to see. His eyes were a harvest moon come to life.

 

It hurt to see him when he gave an arrogant or angry pout. So much of Sesshomaru could be see in his stance and mannerisms.

 

 

********************************************************

 

 

It was a hot July day when a messenger from Kaede’s village arrived in ours bearing ill news, Kaede-baba had taken sick and it didn’t look too good.

 

Once again we packed meager belongings and said our goodbyes as we set out on the road, with promises of returning. Sango was nearing the end of her fourth pregnancy and couldn’t risk the journey and I didn’t blame Miroku and the kids for staying. I promised I would send them word and then I left with Ryusei at my side.

 

It was a somber walk and the hot weather stole ones breath and made it hard to walk and think or anything other than the misery of the heat. I found myself winded and out of breath but I pressed on. I knew others found themselves walking on eggshells around me because the heat had me more hostile than usual but it was hard not to be. My body itched from sweat and my body ached with it. 

 

“ChiChiue, when will we reach the village,” asked Ryusei at my side.

 

“Soon Ryu, soon.”

 

“How soon,” he asked.

 

I turned to glare down at him causing him to swallow. I felt bad and took a deep breath and stopped to wipe at my brow. No one else seemed to be bothered by the heat so I wiped at my brow once more and continued walking with Ryu’s hand in mine.

 

“We should be there soon.”

 

“By tonight,” he asked squeezing my hand.

 

“Yes,” I replied squeezing his hand reassuringly.

 

He smiled and I smiled despite my sour disposition and heated body.

 

We reached the village before the sun reached high in the sky and found the village in a somber mood.

 

“Inu Yasha?”

 

I looked ahead and found a young man who looked to be in his mid teens staring back it me with pine green eyes and bright red hair which was long and pulled into a messy pony tail atop his head in a green ribbon. I looked him over seeing long slender legs; or should I call them paws and an all too familiar large fluffy tail wagging behind him.

 

“Shippo, is that you?”

 

I watched as he smiled, nodding.

 

“I see Ryusei’s really grown, he really reminds me of a little Shesshomaru.”

 

I nodded and then Shippo got quiet and turned around, “She’s in her hut. She doesn’t look too good. I think that…this may be…”

 

He fell quiet and I nodded following him. We came to the hut, stopping outside as Ryusei tugged at my hand.

 

“I don’t want to go in there ChiChiue, it smells like something bad.”

 

I knelt in front of Ryusei and took his hands in mine, “It’s the smell of death Ryusei. It’s not like the death I’ve shown you, this is the death that comes with sickness or age.”

 

“Like Kouta from our village,” he asked with his young eyes trembling.

 

“Yes, like Kouta,” I replied pulling him close.

 

Kouta had been a close friend of Ryusei’s but illness had made his body frail. He had spent most of his seven years of life in a bed and not soon after his eighth year his illness claimed his life much too soon. It was a wound in Ryusei’s small heart and not one I wanted him to have at such a young age.

 

“Do not be scared Ryusei, come in and let Kaede-baba see you and then you may leave love, but be respectful and let her see how you’ve grown.”

 

“But the smell….”

 

“Is just that, and it is rude to show that it bothers you. If you want to be around humans and make friends with them then this is a hard lesson to learn and you must learn it.”

 

He nodded solemnly and I stood up letting him take my hand as we went inside. I could not only smell but taste death. Kaede was at the end and youkai always seemed more sensitive to such things as life and death. Most youkai could smell the unborn and the stronger ones could sense, smell or feel conception and the same could be said of death. They could feel it, sense it and taste it. For many it was detestable, most preferred new life to old.

 

We entered her quarters and there she lay on her futon looking so unreal with her pallid skin and lack of movement.

 

“Hello, Kaede-baba.”

 

I watched her eyes open and look my way, “Inu Yasha, I see you have grown some. Is that…Ryusei with…you?”

 

“Yes. Say Hello, Ryusei.”

 

“Hello…” he said softly.

 

“He…lacks your…anger. It’s good…to see…”

 

“He had what I lacked,” I responded.

 

She smiled and then struggled to breath. I moved to get help and a soft “Stay” came from her mouth.

 

“No healer….will be able…to help…I am dying, Inu Yasha.”

 

I felt my eyes grow hot and fought the oncoming tears, “Come on now…you’re not dying, just finding another way to cause me trouble.”

 

She smiled again gasping for air.

 

“Just…like you’ve…caused me…”

 

I felt Ryusei tug at my hand and I let his hand go.

 

I felt him leave us and continued to stay at Kaede’s bed side.

 

“Does, he know…about…his…”

 

“I’ve told him, his sire is a Daiyoukai. He doesn’t know who.”

 

She nodded and closed her eyes, “Tell me…about your time…with….my sister…”

 

I did as asked while listening to her breathing and her slowly beating heart. I had told her what I could and then talked about the years in the Youkai hunter village and at one point she quieted, her eyes closed and her heart just quietly stopped.

 

I sat there and waited in silence for a sound, any sound but there was none. My eyes were hot with tears and I let them fall.

 

My last tie to my past had passed away. Kaede had been Kikyou’s little sister and had taken over her sister’s legacy while I was sealed to that tree. She had been there for me and our band of misfits and now she was gone. We had lost our pillar. I sat there and I cried, I allowed the tears to fall and fall they did. I couldn’t decide why I cried them; whether they were for her and all that had befallen her or whether they were for me and the fact that I had lost an important person to me and my pack. I had lost my source of information and remembrance. I cried until Shippo came to fetch me with some villagers in tow. We left her hut and watched as others entered the hut. I took Ryusei with me into the woods and found my tree and there we spent the night.

 

Morning came and we made our way to the village burial grounds and there in the heat we watched as the grave that had been dug that night was filled with Kaede’s body and then filled over. I felt the powerless beads around my neck and left them there until all the humans had left and with everyone gone I took the beads off and lay them on Kaede’s grave.

 

“Thanks Kaede. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have had all those great experiences.”

 

The heat hit me once more and I decided to take Ryusei and find the all too familiar mountain fed spring to cool off in.

 

“Shippo, come escape the heat with us.”

 

“Where to,” he asked.

 

“The spring past the well,” I responded with a grin.

 

“Okay I suppose, we can catch up on all the things I’ve missed on the way up there.”

 

“Yeah, and you can fill me in on that little village girl you were flirting with that Kaede had told me about.”

 

Shippo blushed and cleared his throat, “Maybe…”

 

We were almost to the spring when I felt an all too familiar presence. I looked around looking for the source when someone jumped in front of us, blocking our way.

 

“Well…well…if it isn’t my brother.”

 

My breath caught in my throat and fought to breathe as one word left my mouth, “Sesshomaru.”

 

To Be Continued….

 

How’s that?

 

More tomorrow.

 

Kat

 

 

 

 


	6. You do what you have to do

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 6: You do what you have to do**

We were almost to the spring when I felt an all too familiar presence. I looked around looking for the source when someone jumped in front of us, blocking our way.  
  
“Well…well…if it isn’t my brother.”  
  
My breath caught in my throat and fought to breathe as one word left my mouth, “Sesshomaru.”

 

 

 

********************************************************

 

 

He stood there in the heat looking no different than any other time I had ever saw him. Never changing, never showing emotion, bundled in his robes and boa as though he were impervious to the heat around him. He stared at me and I grabbed Ryusei pushing him behind me.

 

“What are you hiding, Inu Yasha?”

 

“Take him somewhere safe, Shippo!”

 

I felt Ryusei’s hands grab my robe and I fought the urge to turn around.

 

“ChiChiue!!”

 

My heart clenched and I watched as Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed one moment and the next I was thrown back with a hand wrapped around my throat.

 

“Chichiue, is it? Have you been keeping secrets Inu Yasha.”

 

I lifted my hands and fought to remove his one hand from around my neck, struggling to breathe as I did so, my feet above the ground and all my weight on my neck.

 

“What a dirty whore you are. How many have you spread your legs for, brother?”

 

The word brother was said with as much venom as one would have said “whore” and it hurt to hear it.

 

“No..non…none,” I gasped out.

 

“What a pretty mouth for such ugly lies,” he said and then I was thrown to the ground. I rolled a few times before coming to stop with my back slamming against a tree.

 

Any remaining air was forced out of my lungs and I curled in on myself fighting to breath, my chest one deep ache as I did so.

 

“Tell me brother, whose seed created the child that you’re having your bratty fox hide?”

 

I could breathe again and as he came to stand I fought the fear and urge to scream the truth and pushed myself so that I was on my hands and knees which didn’t last long thanks to Sesshomaru’s kick to my already bruised ribs.

 

I felt a clawed hand grab my collar and pull me up so that my collar bore the burden of my weight and my knee’s barely scraped the ground.

 

“Who”

 

SLAP

 

“Is”

 

SLAP

 

“the”

 

SLAP

 

“father”

 

SLAP

 

“NO!!!!”

 

“No, Ryusei!”

 

I looked up and watched in terror as Shippo ran after a sprinting Ryusei who knocked into the back of Sesshomaru’s knee’s causing him to drop me. It was silent as I watched Sesshomaru turn around to glare at Ryusei who ran around him and came to stand in front of me with his tiny arms spread wide, glaring at Sesshomaru; his sire, growling.

 

“Leave, ChiChiue alone!”

 

I watched through eyes which were beginning to swell from the force of the slaps and fought to sit up, pain keeping my body immobile but fear for my son forcing it into action.

I watched as Sesshomaru stood there staring down at Ryusei, studying him like one would a mysterious new book that held secrets unbeknownst to others. I watched his eyes travel from head to toe and back. Stopping to stare at Ryusei’s forehead where his blue crescent moon stood out against pale skin and then to the darkening crimson stripes along still pudgy adolescent cheeks.

 

I saw Sesshomaru make a move towards him and I reached out with both arms pulling Ryusei flush against my body holding him tightly, staring up at Sesshomaru.

 

“Yours…,” I croaked.

 

Sesshomaru’s eyes widened momentarily and he stared at me once again with expressionless eyes. I held Ryusei and prayed to the gods to give me strength to protect him.

 

“Mine,” he asked uncertainly.

 

“The night…we…he was conceived.”

 

I felt my eyes grow hot and tears leaked from swollen lids, “You were the first……and last.”

 

The whore comment had hurt more than I realized. It should have hurt more considering he was my first and only and he was my brother, a family member who was supposed to protect and defend me.

 

Ryusei continued to glare at him, a soft growl emitting from his tiny throat as Sesshomaru stepped closer. I squeezed him closer wishing we could flee.

 

“What have we here,” asked a loud and cocky voice.

 

Sesshomaru turned around giving us his back and allowing me to see that Shippo stood next to none other than Kouga.

 

“This does not concern you…wolf.”

 

“Oh, but I believe it does. See, this here is part of my territory and that mutt you have cornered over there is in heat and is in MY territory. Not only that but you have decided to harm a potential breeding partner while on my land that’s breaking quite a few protocols you know, although I suppose you are well aware of protocols LORD Sesshomaru.”

 

At that Sesshomaru’s stance changed, he became tenser and anger vibrated in waves from him.

 

“You have no part in this WOLF and it does not concern you or your pack.”

 

“Oh, and there is where you’re wrong. As I’ve already said; he’s in heat, he reeks of it and we already know he can bear young and pure blooded ones at that but I fear that he will be of no good by the time you finish with him. Look at his face; swollen and eyes so swollen that he can barely keep them open. If this is how you treat prospective mates there is no wonder in my mind as to why you have no mate by your side LORD Sesshomaru.”

 

“He is mine and the pup with him proves it! I can do with him as I please!”

 

“The pup smells of humans and Inu Yasha. He looks like you, but once again, Inu Yasha is unmated. No mark of claim anywhere on him. He smells like territory waiting to be claimed.”

 

“I will claim him!”

 

I inched back, frightened by the words being spoken and not liking the direction of the conversation.

 

“I believe you must ask my permission for that or fight me since you are claiming what is mine.”

 

I stood shakily and limped to the nearest tree staring at the two of them like they had grown second heads.

 

How dare them! HOW DARE THEM! I had freed myself from the chains of society and they were fighting to bind me in another set.

 

I turned with Ryusei and tried to sneak away. Step by step, backwards so I could watch as they argued, worried only for my sons safety if this turned bad.

 

“I will not ask for permission for what I have already had.”

 

“Then tell me, if you had him, why did you leave him behind? Only a fool leaves his treasure for others to claim.”

 

At that I saw Sesshomaru lunge for Kouga and I grabbed Ryusei and ran through the woods as fast as my body would allow me. We hadn’t gotten very far when something grabbed me by my shoulder yanking me back with such force that I lost my grip on Ryusei’s hand causing him to fall forward, knocking his head on the ground.

 

I was too panicked, trying to get to my fallen son that the sound of cloth ripping meant nothing. I fought with all my strength to get to my fallen child screaming his name when I saw the first trickle of blood as it made a trail down the side of his head.

 

Stabbing pain broke my attention and I tried turning my head as fangs dug deeper into my right shoulder, as deep as they could with length at their advantage and my forgiving flesh giving way. I felt hot sticky blood pooling on the wound and already making trails down my chest and back.

 

Rage and dominance radiated from Sesshomaru that burned like real flames keeping anyone or thing in the surrounding area at a distance.

 

Like before I felt my clothes ripped from my body and felt the vaguely familiar feeling of Sesshomaru’s body atop mine as he forced me onto all fours, his length already out and pressing against the back of my legs, bobbing and eager. I looked over at my son and prayed that he was okay and that he would not wake and witness my rape. Rape, once again.

 

As I was pushed down with Sesshomaru’s body and my legs were forced open by his own I wondered if Kouga and Shippo were okay and if they had left the woods, abandoning me to my fate.

 

I felt him plunge into me without preparation or warning and swallowed my scream as he continued to mercilessly push in and out of my tightened opening. His mouth stayed on my shoulder and bit down tighter as I felt him expanding inside of me. His member vibrated deep inside and quicker than last time he spent himself deep inside me, a knot forming and pushed deep inside, insuring that I would once again carry his heir.

 

I keened in pain at the deepening penetration of fangs on my shoulder and his length inside of me as power biting and bright swallowed us and consumed us until darkness and quiet filled everything.

 

 

 

********************************************************

 

 

 

I awoke on the forest floor wrapped in a silk robe cocoon and the all too bright setting sun in my eyes. I blinked a few times glancing around as my muddled memories slowly came back to me.

 

I sat up screaming, “RYUSEI!?” Before hissing and falling back in pain.

 

“ChiChiue!”

 

I felt soft hands caressing my face and looked up into my sons soft molten gold eyes filled with worry and a softness that I knew to be love.

 

“Ryu, are you okay?”

 

“Yes,” he turned and looked behind him and I looked in that direction finding Sesshomaru standing by his chariot with Ah Un connected to it and Kouga and Shippo standing a short distance away in deep conversation.

 

“The mean one; said he’s my Otoosan and that he’s taking us…home. What does he mean ChiChiue?”

 

I felt a stinging sensation in my shoulder and lifted my bare arm out of my warm cocoon and touched the slowly healing bite mark on my shoulder, my fingers coming away tinted lightly in crimson.

 

“I’m not sure Ryusei,” and no sooner had I said that than I found Kouga approaching us with a frown on his face.

 

He reached us and knelt down beside me.

 

“Sorry mutt face, I didn’t mean for him to get so riled up. He did quite a number on you. At least my plan worked, he didn’t pup you again without purpose, you’re now his mate which gives you a higher status in youkai society and gives your son rank. I know it was shitty of me but I had to think on my feet and we both know I’m not very good at that.”

 

I watched as he nervously scratched the back of his head, “Look, things will be tough but I know you can do it and if not for you do it for your pups.”

 

He stood up, “We’ll see each other again. I’m royalty and now so are you, bide your time do as he says within reason and we’ll meet before the birth of your next pup.”

 

“I’m his…,” I covered Ryusei’s ears, “bitch, how is that royalty?”

 

“You don’t get it do you? He was challenged and in answer he gave you the mating mark which means you are his mate, another’s mate is out of bounds and off the market. You’ll go through your heat again and again throughout your breeding years which could be 300 or more and every time you’d be at the mercy of the strongest male in the area. Now none can touch except for Sesshomaru and for him to touch others would be uncouth and would cause quite the social uproar. You may be his but he is now yours. It will take time for you to understand fully but I bet in a few years you’ll be thanking me.”

 

With that he gave a wave over his shoulder as he walked away and then left in a whirlwind.

 

I let my hands fall from Ryusei’s ears and tried to contemplate my situation but found myself too tired to do so as stress and pain made me bone weary.

 

“It’s okay ChiChuie, sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

I heard his voice and fought to stay awake but my body wouldn’t allow me. I faded into the darkness that pain and exhaustion often brought.

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

 

Okay, short and a bit rushed but I got it done. My mind is a horrible jumble tonight. So enjoy, be kind and a new chapter will be up tomorrow, maybe….should be……we’ll see.

 

Oh, and Ryusei means “Shooting star”. The song “Ryusei” from Naruto inspired me.

 

Kat


	7. And fate has led you through it

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

To the Anonymous reviewer “ew” and your reply “Gross” I sincerely apologize. Evidentially I wasn’t working hard enough to bring to life my yaoi scenes if ALL I got was an ew and gross. It makes me feel like less of writer if I couldn’t get a WTF or something more creative; I mean I’ve heard four year olds come up with better replies, seriously; two year olds have way more words in their repertoire. Please, if I take time to gross you out you could at least take time to get a thesaurus or dictionary to find better replies.

 

Sincerely,

Kat.

 

  1. To the rest of you, Enjoy and thanks for reading~!



 

::HUGGLES::

**Chapter 7: And fate has led you through it**

The feel of someone softly tugging on my hair brought me out of my slumber and I suppose I should have panicked but the soft tugging was relaxing and gentle enough that there truly was no need to panic. I blinked my eyes open, feeling that they were no longer as swollen but still a little sore. I looked up finding a gray stone ceiling and followed my line of sight down finding a wall with a thick wooden desk that smelled of cedar, covered in various grooming articles pushed against it.

 

I slowly turned my head and found Sesshomaru with my hair in-between his fingers, causing my breath to catch in my chest as I fought the rising panic. I looked around ignoring my sore shoulder in search of Ryusei or any sign of him.

 

“Calm yourself, Inu Yasha. Our son is fine. He is with Rin and Kohaku; the three of them are outside in the garden.”

 

“Wh…where…,” I struggled to speak, my throat too dry with misuse. How long had I been asleep?

 

“You are in your own personal quarters inside our father’s palace.”

 

I took in that bit of information and lay there as his hands continued to play with my now loosened locks of hair.

 

“Your hair has grown quite a bit I suppose that has to do with carrying and hormones, or maybe it just grew with time. Our son seems to have inherited mine. More silver than the pale blue of moonlight like your own.”

 

His words made me angry, somewhere deep inside I harbored hatred for Sesshomaru; my brother. But then again I think anyone in my shoes would feel the same.

 

“His eyes are fierce like fathers; he seems to have your brave stupidity though.”

 

I turned my head from him and stared at the far wall before tossing onto my side slowly, hissing in pain as I did so, my back now to him.

 

“You can turn away from me Inu Yasha but we will talk whether or not it pleases or displeases you.”

 

I closed my eyes and lay there quietly. I heard his soft growl and then I felt his hands reach and before I knew it he held my face in his hand and turned it to face him.

 

“You will listen when I speak to you, brother.”

 

I slapped his hand away and rolled off the bed growling at him with what voice I had left, my unbraided hair falling into my eyes in crimped waves. I swallowed a few times, feeling saliva moisten my throat.

 

“Oh, no…brother,” I put as much venom into that word as I could just as he had the last time he spoke down to me.

 

“It’s about time you listen to something other than yourself speaking. You see you’ve made decisions for me that you had no right to. Older brother, what a joke! You raped me and left me with nothing but my own robe covering my abused body. You treated me like less than a relative and the very word brother seeps from your mouth like the venom from your claws. So no brother, we don’t need to talk. Maybe you just need to listen.”

 

I pushed myself into a standing position and leaned against the wall for support as I glared at him.

 

“You left me pupped, left your own child a bastard; yes that’s partly my fault but you can’t fault me for not wanting to find you after what you’d done. Done, that would mean past tense. I find a life and you show up once again and fuck it up! Oh yes, if you’re unhappy then others must be too. Oh bow to the great Sesshomaru; pure blood son and ruler of the lands, oh his hanyou brother Inu Yasha isn’t fit to rule but fucked and pupped is fine, he can birth his brother proud pure blood pups!”

 

I found tears coursing down my cheeks and angrily wiped them away leaving scratch marks in their place. I heard movement and watched him come towards me and I felt panicked and moved so that I had my back to the dresser reaching for anything behind me that could become a weapon. I found it in the form of a razor used for shaving and shearing.

 

I gripped it and thought better of pointing it at him.

 

“Stay away from me, just stay away.”

 

“You’re stressed and frightened and you need to just calm down, it’s not good for the unborn pup.”

 

That made me pause a moment, just long enough for him to come stand beside me. I felt his hand once again touch my long tresses and it infuriated me. It was too personal a gesture for him to make.

 

I moved from his grasp and made my way to a corner, a safe place and held the blade against my own neck.

 

“Go, go and get my son and bring him to me and then get as far away from me as you can.”

 

He gave me an unemotional look and dead eyes and moved towards the door reaching for my locks as he did so. He opened the door and left and I shuddered.

 

Why, why I was so freaked out by his touch, why was I allowing his touches earlier and why did part of me want to run behind him and wrap my arms around his ankles and cry for forgiveness. His touch and fingers through my hair left me with an aching loss that I couldn’t stand. I looked at my hair hanging over my shoulders and pulled a few locks of it over my shoulder before putting the blade behind them and pulling it through them, feeling the weight of the long locks in my hands. I did this again and again until the weight of my locks was no more and a hand through shortened and uneven locks proved that it was no longer to my knees but now below my ears.

 

I felt triumphant at having done it and grouped the locks together, tying them in a ponytail with a few thick strands.

 

I heard a knock at the door and a soft, “ChiChiue?”

 

The door opened revealing Ryusei with Sesshomaru behind him. Both entered giving second looks at my new sheared look.

 

“You fool what have you done,” asked Sesshomaru showing what looked to be genuine shock.

 

I tossed him the bundled locks and opened my arms so that Ryusei could run into them.

 

“I’ve given you the locks you so enjoyed playing with, now leave us be.”

 

He gave me a look I had never before seen on his face and left what were to be my new quarters.

 

While shut away in that room I was given food and drink by servants whose names and faces I didn’t know and didn’t care to know. Ryusei and I ate and I asked him questions I hadn’t had the chance to ask Sesshomaru, like how long I’d been there and how long I’d been asleep, who had been taking care of me and what he had overheard.

 

I had discovered that sleep had claimed me for a week and that the healers had told Sesshomaru while Ryusei was in his presence that I was in a healing coma. I was betting it had a lot to do with the new pup I had conceived and the injuries sustained before its conception. It’s hard for a body to heal itself and create new life and there is not nearly enough energy to do both in my body. He told me of Sesshomaru’s doting behavior to both himself and me and how Sesshomaru often asked questions about his upbringing.

 

As evening came I found myself tucking Ryusei in and then sat in the wide window across the room starring over at the bed, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

 

Had I lost my mind, why did I feel so aggressive towards Sesshomaru one moment and intensely submissive the next?

 

I put my hand on the now scabbed over bite mark on my shoulder and caressed it while lost in my confused thoughts. I had been preoccupied enough to not notice the door to the quarters being opened and the figure stepping through them.

 

“Do you feel any better,” he asked in a now calm and cautious baritone.

 

“Should I?”

 

He came into the room further and shut the door softly behind him as he did so.

 

“I…this Sesshomaru is unsure how to act around you.”

 

I laughed softly and realized that my laughter had turned to tears

 

“You’re unsure, how to act around ME?”

 

I heard Ryusei stir and lowered my voice, “I can’t think clearly anymore, I mean I couldn’t before but now I feel even more conflicted. Like I could lose myself in you and not care, like I could grovel at your feet and feel completely at peace but I know that it isn’t right. The other half of me wants to tear into you, make you hurt, like I have…no we have. I’m not me anymore, I feel like I’m going insane and somehow it’s because of you and your damn mark!”

 

“This Sesshomaru is sorry,” he was about to continue but I cut him short.

 

“No, see it’s too late for sorry and using your name instead of saying “I” is your way of distancing yourself from the situation. It’s convenient to say the least but you can’t distance yourself anymore Sesshomaru; brother. You have made me your mate for better or worse and you have a son and another on the way from what you’ve said; no not just you…I can feel it, growing inside of me.”

 

I took a deep breath running my hands through shortened hair and laughed and cried in a way that sounded as conflicted as I felt.

 

“You will do right by me, by us; but not tonight. Leave me be for now and I will sort things out on my own.”

 

I watched him nod and the door open and I watched him fade from the shadows of my now night darkened room like some retreating evil into the light of the candlelit hallways and become this ethereal being brightened in yellow tones of various flickering flames.

 

“Goodnight, Inu Yasha; brother, mate.”

 

“Goodnight, Sesshomaru; brother by blood and mate by fate.”

 

With that the door closed and my quarters were bathed in an almost darkness but the light through my starlit windowed seat lit a path to the bed which I followed. I lay on the bed; aching physically and emotionally as I cuddled against my son, who turned, burrowing into my body like some living blanket to keep out all the monsters.

 

 

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

Sorry, it somehow became dark.

 

Jeez, emotional scenes are hard, you try to put yourself in a chars shoe’s in these situations and things always become exaggerated.

 

Well next chapter tomorrow night.

 

 

Happy 4th of July~!

 

Kat


	8. You do what you have to do…

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 8: You do what you have to do…

 

A few days had gone by and most of the occupants in the castle ignored my room and my presence for the most part, which somewhat amused me. I imagined with all the gossip and seeing their lord so at a loss was something new to them and to ignore the cause would be like ignoring an elephant in a pottery shop. But I let them; I kept quiet and observed everyone and everything. I watched Sesshomaru from a distance and how he interacted with our son and his two other young wards Rin and Kohaku, although Rin and Kohaku were now far from young. 

Rin had become quite the beautiful young woman, all hips and breasts; at the age of 13, which she kept well and covered thanks to her adopted sire that seemed to disappear from time to time during the week, returning with gifts of fine clothes, trinkets, food and as of late toys for his son. 

Rin dressed finely and seemed to always be busy “training” and from what I saw it was as an ambassador of sorts between youkai and humans. Her presence made Sesshomaru look like less of a monster and so the humans flocked to his territory and with them came commerce and prosperity for his lands. It was nice, and peaceful which made me wonder about Kaede’s village, could such a network be set up between all humans and youkai?

Kohaku spent his time training in another manner; he always worked on kata’s and hand to hand combat, occasionally training with various weapons. He was like a guard for Rin and the two often seemed a lot closer than they let on. It seemed to look almost one sided from both points of view and I wondered if the two saw the glances the other gave. I don’t know how old he was when he was tore from his sister but he was now a man. His body had grown in height and width, boyish shoulders, narrow and bony were now wide and muscular and his scrawny body covered in muscles. It made me wonder what my own son would look like when he grew into his own body at that age. 

I imagine he’d be similar to his sire, wiry and muscular in all the right places. Strength and grace joined perfectly. 

It was thoughts like those that kept me in the shadows. I was afraid of who I was becoming of what I thought deep inside; if they were my thoughts. It was a constant game of second guessing what thought was mine or my urges brought on by mating marks. 

A knock on the door of my quarters brought my out of my thoughts.

“Enter,” I called looking towards the entrance as the door creaked open.

“Lord Inu Yasha, Lord Sesshomaru bid me bring this to you, he asks that you wear it to dinner tonight.”

I watched her leave the package on my dresser and quickly excuse her self with a bow. I stared at the paper wrapped package a while before walking over and opening it. 

I stared down at the brightly colored cloth beneath in curiosity and surprise, A set of new robes, soft as chicks down and as smooth as silk. I then realized it felt somewhat similar to my current fire rat robe. A fire rat Kimono? I stared at it and decided that it wouldn’t hurt to try it on. I slid off my clothes leaving only my fundoshi on as I slid on layer after layer until I stood in layer upon layer of colorful cloth, striking shades of the darkest black with the pales of white cherry blossoms bleeding past the palest pinks and into the deepest of crimsons. The Obi was a contrasting gold with white cranes tied with a red and white obijime. I saw that he had even been kind enough to give me tabi socks and geta. 

Once I was fully dressed I walked over to my wall and found a full length of reflective glass and found it not nearly as good the mirrors in Kagome’s time but it did its purpose. I looked like a doll with dog ears; ears which now stood out incredibly without my long locks to surround them. At least my hair was somewhat styled now thanks to Rin who had been kind enough to layer the back somewhat and trim up the sides. 

I turned here and there, looking as I did so and found myself confused by the almost effeminate creature staring back at me. I shrugged it off and was debating about stripping it all off when the door opened and a happy voice called out for me.

“ChiChiue!”

I turned and glanced down at my son who was dressed in a very nice deep blue hakama set. 

“Chichiue, you look pretty! Does that mean you’ll come have dinner with us?”

I tried not to sigh out loud as I debated inwardly. I shrugged and gave him a small smile; “Sure, let’s go eat.”

“Yay! Rin! Rin! Chichiue said he’s coming to eat with us!”

Ryusei grabbed my hand from underneath the long kimono sleeves and led me into the hallway where Rin stood, slightly surprised; I couldn’t tell whether it was because I had said yes or because I was dressed like a doll or perhaps it was both.

She nodded and gave a small smile; “It’ll be nice to have you join us, Inu Yasha.”

“I suppose moping will only get me so far so let’s see how I fit in amongst these castle walls.”

She glanced up at me and smiled, reaching out to take both of my hands in hers. 

“You need not worry so much, your place is wherever and whatever you would like it to be,” and as she said it she hesitated at the end like she were thinking of adding more but thought better of it. 

“Come, we’ll eat and talk and we’ll worry about the rest later. There is nothing but time and you need only let it pass if you so wish.”

I walked through the halls; Ryusei’s hand in mine as we did so, errant servants stopping and starring, whispering at our backs as we passed. We came to stone stairs that we walked down, winding around until we reached a large hallway. Rin lead the way as we came to a large open doorway and went through it and came into a large room with quite a few large tables, one covered with a white cloth, multiple lit candle sticks and lanterns hanging on the walls and silver platters covering the tables some uncovered revealing an array of food. 

I was lead towards the opposite end of where we stood, and there I saw Sesshomaru sitting at the head of the table watching as I approached. His eyes seemed to hold calm calculation and something akin to nervousness, if such a word applied to him. 

He stood and walked around pulling out a chair beside him, motioning as he did so. I thought better of it and instead lead Ryusei into that seat and pulled out the one beside him, seating myself and scooting myself in, if he had been irritated by that he didn’t show it. As servants set plates in front of us Sesshomaru cleared his throat.

“I am glad that you wore my gift.”

How should I answer? So I said what popped into my head; “It makes me look…effeminate, but it is comfortable.”

To that I saw him give startled look and then a very small quirk at the corners of his mouth that most wouldn’t call a smile but I knew better. 

I picked up a small plate and placed a piece of well cooked fish on it and began to eat, I was finished and reaching for some rice when he asked, “Is it good? I asked the cooks to prepare a diet appropriate for one carrying.”

I nodded and swallowed a bite of rice, “It’s good, for now I have no discrepancies when it comes to food. Give it another week or so and we’ll discover what I can and can’t keep down.”

He gave me a confused look and I took another bite and swallowed before answering, “Not everything is appealing when pregnancy is concerned. I couldn’t stand anything with a strong aroma when I was pregnant with Ryusei; garlic, onions, certain pickles and even seaweed sent me running to the nearest bush. Kaede had said that each pregnancy was different….”

After hearing her name I felt my eyes grow hot and I raised my kimono clad arm and wiped away a stray tear. 

“Stupid hormones,” I muttered knowing it was in vain that they all knew that Kaede had passed on. 

“Were you able to sense the gender in the womb?”

I looked up at Rin who sat across the table beside Kohaku. 

I thought about it and shook my head no, “I just referred to him as pup when I carried him.”

“Can you sense anything from this one,” asked Sesshomaru as he looked down at my midsection. 

“No, only that it’s there and healthy.”

He nodded and returned to his meal. The rest of dinner followed with small questions and conversation and as bed time rolled around I excused Ryusei and myself and we went upstairs to change into our sleeping clothes. 

I fell asleep with Ryusei snuggled against me and my mind jumbled but not filled with its usual chaos. Dinner had been pleasant and Sesshomaru had shown that he could be calm and relaxed which relaxed me. There was no saying whether this could continue or whether something else would go wrong. 

I placed the hand that wasn’t under Ryusei on my midsection and felt the thrum of energy of the new life growing inside of me and closed my eyes, letting the calmness of it all pull me into sleep. 

 

********************************************************

 

The month of September ended and October had begun and I had yet to get morning sickness. Sesshomaru watched me wearily and always seemed to be ready to rush at my side and I wondered how much of it was concern for the unborn pup and how much of it was due to our marks which seemed to grow stronger, almost forcing us together with every day that passed. 

It was in the middle of the month when he approached me by himself…

“Inu Yasha I would like for you to pick a healer among some that I have gathered. It isn’t good for you or the pup to not have check ups.”

I stared at him and shrugged; “I suppose I can agree to that.”

Three days later I was escorted by Kohaku into one of Sesshomaru’s receiving rooms and there I found four strangers. One was an older man who looked lecherous, his head almost bald with tufts of grayish white hair circling that overly large head and his overly large yellow eyes and knowing smirk sent chills down my spine and I immediately voiced my opinion.

“The old man with the creepy vibe goes, now please.”

“Dr. Kuntai, you may leave. I thank you for your time and patience and please give Lord Shima my thanks and gratitude as well as thanking him for the alliance of the frog tribe.”

The frog tribe; that explained the eyes…

I watched him leave and felt a small amount of relief. 

The next was a young man, or so he looked; but his presence screamed of old power. He had crimson hair with black tips and eyes of the deepest orange. He also seemed to keep a serious look about him but his eyes held dislike and hatred. He was a purist and his scent reeked of tiger. 

“You can send the kitty cat home as well; I don’t like the look in his eyes.”

The look of surprise in the orange kitty eyes made me smile and I knew it wasn’t friendly, “Why send you and why come if we all know you hate hanyou’s? Did you think I’d actually let you touch me or my children with eyes like those?”

Sesshomaru gave me an unfriendly look that said I had not been very tactful and I felt irritation at his look. 

“But thank you for coming, have a pleasant trip home and thank your kind ruler for sending you all the way out here,” I said with as little sarcasm and irritation in my voice as I could muster. 

I turned to look at the other two and was about to ask them to leave when a knock sounded on the door before it opened revealing an older woman with long flowing white hair, her sides braided and pulled back to be tied together with the rest of her unbraided locks. She wore a pale blue kimono with black hakama. Her eyes were a deep shade of ebony which awoke memories deep in my mind. 

She smiled wide as she entered looking me over happily before she turned to Sesshomaru; “Thank you for notifying me Lord Sesshomaru.”

I blinked and watched as she approached and realized she was older looking. Her face held small wrinkles here and there but her body still held its young mold. 

“My name is Aoiyuki and I was your mother’s mid-wife. Oh, you definitely have her hair; so thick even with its current length, and her eyes soft and human reflecting thoughts and emotions like ripples on a waters surface and that same glow when carrying.”

Her voice was soft and even though she seemed rambunctious her voice was just as calm and happy and soothing as a woman past her prime. 

Her hands came to rest on my cheeks and she looked into my own, “Oh, my dear Yasha; the pain these eyes have seen to have such distrust and dislike in them.”

She then removed her hands and pulled me into a hug, her hands gently caressing my head, “It will be okay my dear Yasha, I will be here for you, as I was for your mother.”

I felt safe in those arms and something about them screamed home, safety and familiarity. I had been in these arms before. I felt her head atop mine and closed my eyes.

I lost myself in her comforting arms but still overheard the quiet dismissal of the other two healers and then the quiet closing of the door and then all was silent except for the beating of our hearts. She eventually let go and I looked around finding the office empty.

“Come let us check you over and then I will see to my quarters and then later after dinner the two of us will talk.”

And check she did; my pulse, my weight, my measurements, my chest, my back and anywhere I’d let her. Other than Kaede I had never willingly let anyone touch me in intimate places but somehow this woman had chiseled her way into my stone heart and circle of trust. 

I discovered that other than being stressed I was pretty healthy and that so far everything was developing well. She guessed my birthing date to be some time in early to mid May. 

That night we ate dinner and Aoiyuki entertained my son quite easily and it seemed she felt right at home with everyone but kept her talk with my brother very polite and not really giving him one of her genuine smiles. It made me wonder how much she knew of us and our mating.

 

To Be Continued….

Tired….and sick….and sleep deprived…. I’m going to try to keep updating and I’m even bringing my laptop to Otakon so I can update there which shows how much I LOVE you guys because I can’t even get up enough energy to eat when I work cons. 

Well I’m off~!

Oyasumi, 

Kat


	9. And I have the sense to recognize that…

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 9: And I have the sense to recognize that…

November came in whirlwind of activity. I had discovered that my brother's mother had deemed his keep worthy of visiting. I have never met the mother of my brother and part of me wondered if I would enjoy it or find it almost as trying as I found his company at times. Not that he was really doing anything wrong, per se…he just…he was too damn quiet sometimes. I was beginning to think that he had no hobbies and then I realized that I had become his hobby. He watched me when I ate, walked the gardens, played with Ryusei and talked with Aoiyuki.

I suppose I have no room to speak, I watch him just as much. For having had him caress the inner most parts of my body, having carried and delivered his heir and carrying another you'd think we'd have moved past this blushing glances and shy comments but we just can't seem to get to that point. The two of us are certainly a horrible mess. I wondered if his mother was coming to see if she could remedy this situation.

I suppose we needed a push.

Although I suppose I could give him an A for effort. He tried; it was me who seemed to run like a frightened child. I knew it was childish and down right cowardly but some things take a while to get over.

I sat on this fine fall day watching the whirlwind of colors that our son created with his small whip his father had given him, calm commands given from the afore mentioned man who demonstrated with his own whip. Even though our own relationship was faltering father and son seemed to be getting on just fine. It made me proud to see it. Ryusei would have what both Sesshomaru and myself lacked and so would our next child, god willing.

I watched as the energy from Ryusei's whip knocked Sesshomaru's whip from his hand and smiled at Sesshomaru's faked look of shock and bold praise. A proud father if ever there was one.

"ChiChiue!! Did you see, did you?"

I laughed as I watched my son bouncing from foot to foot excitedly and nodded, "Well done, you are certainly growing."

I looked at Sesshomaru and gave a small smile to which he inclined his head.

I watched as Sesshomaru was handed a towel by Jaken and Jaken animatedly tell him of obligations that needed fulfilled and then he walked over to Ryusei and dropped the towel atop his head grinning at Ryusei's muttered curses as he walked with Jaken from the garden. I went down and began my lessons with Ryusei in the garden, lessons on how to use your sense of smell and testing him on what he could sense with his tiny dirt smudged nose. We did this until the sun was nearing its setting and then we made our way to the baths which were warm and waiting. I washed Ryusei's back and he mine. Once we were clean we went into the nice hot baths and lay back relaxing; at least I was. Ryusei was trying to catch air in his rag, his eyes large when he did causing me to chuckle. He commented on how his air bubble reminded him of my now growing belly.

"Hey, you were in there six years ago! Now your sibling is."

He gave me a serious expression which looked too cute on that little face that reminded me of my brother as he crossed his arms; "It'll be seven years come next month."

I laughed and pulled him into a hug, "Yes, yes it will be. What would you like for a gift?"

He puckered his lips and puffed out his cheeks in thought which made me chuckle again, definitely not a look I'd imagine on his sires face.

"Can I have a sword like you and father?"

"We'll see; I'll let him know of your wish." As an after thought, I wondered if Sesshomaru would give a fang to forge such a sword for his son.

He grinned and snuggled against me closing his eyes, his arms squeezing against mine.

I sighed happily and closed my eyes as well. I decided against falling asleep in the baths. Sesshomaru himself had Aoiyuki give me a stern warning against it mostly because hot water was not good for the pup. I gently shook Ryusei waking him up and setting him outside the bath on wobbly feet. I stood up myself and stepped out from the bath and grabbed an overly large towel, drying Ryusei's body and then his growing white locks, now wavy from being wet. I wrapped the towel around his body as I grabbed a towel for myself drying my body off and then my slowly growing but shortened hair and ears before wrapping my towel around myself.

Once we were wrapped warmly in fluffy towels I walked to a stone bench where quiet servants had set out our sleeping wear, a large white yukata for myself and a pale blue one for Ryusei. I watched as Ryusei tried to dress himself, helping only with the obi as he did so. The little one had grown so much and could already tie his fundoshi.

We made our way to our quarters and as I tucked him into my bed beside me. I realized it was time to get him his own quarters. The thought frightened me. My little one had grown so much and was ready to leave my side and without him beside me I had no excuse in the future for turning away Sesshomaru's advances.

I sighed and closed my eyes cuddling against Ryusei, like he was my only lifeline.

********************************************************

Two days later I brought Ryusei's independence to Sesshomaru's attention and he gave a small frown and nodded. It was decided to move my quarters further down the hall next to his room; there was a room that was connected to another by a door. This would become my new Quarters as well as Ryusei's. Ryusei was excited and worried all at once, to help him over his jitters it was decided that we would travel to the town as a family and pick out what he wanted in his new room.

The night it was announced Ryusei was shaking with excitement and couldn't sleep half the night keeping me awake with him with his constant talking and movements. He eventually fell asleep only to have us awoken four hours later as the sun rose to get ready for our journey. I was given yet another new kimono to wear, this one as red as my old fire rat kimono with white carnations weaving their way through the red and around the sleeves with a white and pale blue obi. I dressed myself while a kind maid who I had come to know as Hikaru dressed Ryusei in a deep blue and white hakama set.

Hikaru was a kind and sweet girl no older than two hundred, with deep brown eyes and the fawn brown hair. Ryusei had developed quite the crush on her. I couldn't blame him, she was rather cute. She was from the rabbit tribe and at times when she were flustered, nervous or excited two brown floppy ears would sprout from her head and fluffly brown and white tail from her bottom. Needless to say, Ryusei loved frustrating the poor thing. I believe the boy has an ear fetish. I wonder if it has to do with my own puppy ears.

Once we were ready we made our way to the dining room where we broke our fast with a traditional Japanese breakfast of rice, miso, and smoked and grilled fish. Ryusei picked at his pickles but ate them all the same.

We decided against taking Ah Un for the time being and instead walked from the palace to town, taking the time to give Ryusei his first lessons on branch hopping, Sesshomaru walked beneath us in case Ryusei fell but the boy was as I always said, grace and power in one lithe package. A slip here, a wobble there but not once did he fall. After a few minutes his father joined us and we made it to the outskirts of town in record breaking time, jumping down from our branch road when we caught scent of the humans close by.

It was never good to frighten the locals; it usually ended badly for both sides. I stood back, following slowly behind Sesshomaru as he and Ryusei entered the village. I watched Ryusei as he grabbed his sires hand and led him down the street past the ogling stares of the townsfolk and others among them.

No rude comments were uttered and no sounds of disgust were heard and it surprised me a little. I kept my eyes ahead of me on those two backs; one small and growing the other strong and broad. I watched as Sesshomaru found a carpenter and began telling him of the job he wanted done and while he talked Ryusei stuck to his side listening intently, his hands now at his sides as he tried to act every bit like his sire. It brought a sad smile to my face. I couldn't put the feeling into precise words but it was as if I was watching my little Ryusei vanish right before me. He was becoming his sire's son and less mine to some extent. They would share a bond that I never would. It hurt like no physical wound ever could but when both pairs of eyes looked over at me I grinned and nodded happily.

Once they had arranged for materials and a date to start we went on our way, deciding to stay and walk amidst the townsfolk for a while longer.

I didn't mind, the walk would do me some good and the smell of the village brought back fond memories that plastered a smile on my face. We stopped to partake in some red bean pastries and even bought a few extra for a later snack and once again made our way home.

I found myself withdrawing from them unintentionally and upon reaching home I made my way to my quarters and closed the door. I found myself sliding to the floor as silent tears overtook me.

I brought my knees as close to my chest as I could get them without fearing for my unborn pup's safety. I wiped my eyes and in a frustrated gesture ran my hand through my hair realizing it was still in its sheared form and taking it's time to grow back thanks to the strain on my now overtaxed body ripe with pup. What was more important pup or looks, my body chose the pup as it should.

I made my way over to my vanity and sat down on the stool there gazing at myself in the mirror, dressed in the finest garments with intricate patterns and fine stitching and embroidery looking like some soiled prince with swollen red eyes and swollen belly, my hair shorn like some summer sheep. My bangs had remained the same as they have always been but my sides now outgrew the back and the back was layered thanks to Aoiyuki's attempts to fix my shorn locks.

What A sight I must be. I've had much reassurance that I looked fine but I couldn't help but feel inadequate.

I wiped away more errant tears feeling weary and tired down to my bones. I could fight the exhaustion no more before I finally stood and made my way over to the fireplace.

I sat down on the soft fur rug beside the fireplace and amidst the soft amber glow and warmth of the crackling flames I fell asleep.

To Be Continued….

Sorry, trying to update. I find it hard to sit still in the Fall let alone sit and write.

I'm trying.

Kat


	10. I don't know how to let you go

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 10: I don’t know how to let you go

 

I found myself awake in my bed with my son curled against me, his head tucked beneath my chin as it had always been since his birth and I snuggled him closer to me and closer to my heart. I found the warmth of quilts and furs pulled over us and turned my head to see the retreating back of what could only be Sesshomaru. I listened to hear the door close and then I closed my eyes once again. 

I awoke in the midnight hour and carefully removed myself from Ryusei’s grip and slid from my bed. I made my way out of my room looking for the latrine when I happened past a room where hushed angry whispers emanated from.

“So you once again pupped your half brother, Oh Sesshomaru how the mighty have fallen.”

“I have not fallen nor have I ever set myself at your standards, mother.”

The word mother came out with as much distaste as one would say the word cretin or whore or any other such insult.

“How long til the hanyou birth’s your ill-gotten spawn?”

“Oh, Mother you needn’t plan to stay for the birth the sentiment is well met but unwelcome.”

“Oh, son how naïve you are. No, no such a sentiment from me. I’m merely curious as to how long to you plan to string the dear one along. Will he become a mate fully bonded or will he end up like me, used to birth your heirs and locked away to watch you find pleasure in another?”

“It doesn’t concern you; it’s not like you stayed to watch me grow. No, your pride wasn’t worth my needs. So if this is all you’ve come for then you may take your leave. My home is calm and I prefer it stay that way.”

I heard rustling clothing and I stepped away from the door, my hand unconsciously clutching at my belly and the child within. 

I turned and made my way away from that room and anywhere near it.

My thoughts were like wildfire. Would he send me farther from him and my children, would he take another while I sat in a room to rot? I couldn’t leave, not with my children in this castle and taking them with me would end up a life on the run. 

I found myself in the garden barefoot and lost amongst the cool fall breeze among dew covered plants. 

Would he take me from my children, my now one reason to draw breath or worse…would he turn my children against me and what I am… who I am? What does he think of me? Am I hindrance or the means to an end? Am I in his heart or merely a tool to be used to his hearts content? Could I ever ask these things of him, and if so would he actually answer me truly? 

My chest felt tightened and my breath labored; almost as if it were stolen. Unshed tears stung my eyes and I felt screams bubbling deep inside me. 

And then my breath ridden silence was broken as one of my fears was spoken aloud.

“He’ll do it if his heart turns from you,” said a voice behind me.

I turned quickly my arms wrapped around my midsection and glared at the woman whose voice gave away as Sesshomaru’s mother. Her face like her voice was cold and emotionless and left one to wonder if a smile had ever touched it and if so what hardships had cause them to cease to be. 

“Do what,” I asked in shock at her presence.

“He’ll lock you away like a gem and then when your heart hardens from his actions he’ll take your children; the one joy the men of this family can give and then he’ll take another to his bed and you’ll be forced to listen; to listen to their playful banter, the gossip among the help and then the silence as you sit alone and wonder what went wrong; where you went wrong.”

Her words hurt, like the deepest knife wound in my heart. 

“By the looks of you I’ll give it…four no…five months before the birth of that pup and perhaps another six before he pups you again. I avoided such a problem by taking certain teas. If you’re a smart hanyou you’ll talk to your dear…Aoiyuki and see if there is one she can make you.”

With that she walked past me and then jumped into the air transforming as she did so into a long haired dog demon and took flight into the air. I watched her vanish past moonlight and then found my bladder once again at the forefront of my attention. I found a bush to relieve myself and then made my way back inside. I passed the room where the hushed argument had taken place and now found only silence reigned. 

I made my way to my quarters and returned to my bed and once again pulled my son to my heart. It had been a while since I have felt heart wrenching fear but at the thought of losing Ryusei and my unborn child I had found it all over again. 

 

*******************************************************

After my late night conversation with Sesshomaru’s mother; if one could call it a conversation, I found myself weary of Sesshomaru and those around him. Aoiyuki continued with my regular checkups and asked continuously if I wished to “unburden” my mind and repeatedly I replied that there was no need. She neither believed or discontinued her nagging and I observed her and Sesshomaru in conversation once or twice which now left me at odds with my one source of mental release. 

November turned to December and my belly grew ever slightly and according to Aoiyuki not nearly enough. I could agree but what was I to do, my appetite was non-existent and my nerves were a mess and with them many sleepless nights ensued and my health declined. I would often have blackouts which left me bedridden. 

Ryusei had has own quarters next to mine but his fear for me kept him at my side. If he was put to bed at the ninth hour, by the tenth he was in my bed curled against my chest and I hadn’t the strength mental or physical to refuse him. 

I felt Sesshomaru’s eyes on me during this time and wondered what went through his mind. Did he worry for me and my health or did he worry for the unborn heir I carried? Did he worry for both? Did he despise me and my uselessness and hate me for my weaknesses and my frail hanyou body or did he worry as to why I had deteriorated and perhaps even blame himself or his actions?

There were nights when we held each others gazes from across the room and it was as though one culture were watching another, trying to figure out the language each spoke and what certain behaviors meant and why they were performed. 

We were like foreign lands, he and I.

December was a harsh month which led over into a calm January.

The land remained covered in its glittering white blanket of snow and as the New Year dawned Sesshomaru decided to throw a banquet in honor of the Year to dawn. I found myself drawn into the activities with my sons thrilling stories of rare game caught and plucked to serve as food for the banquet, the many invitations he had seen his father and Jaken send out and of the many beautiful kimono they had seen in the shops and how Sesshomaru had purchased over four servants arms worth of the expensive garments. 

It wasn’t until the eve of the New Year came did a knock sound on my quarter’s door. Before I could answer the door opened and four servants entered carrying various kimonos varying in colors and theme just as Ryusei had told me. 

I sat up in bed and watched as Sesshomaru entered behind them already dressed in a kimono of fine red and white silk, embroidered with Dragons in shades of yellow’s, oranges, red’s and whites with his usual Momoka wrapped around his body and white fur lined collars and sleeves making him look more a snow demon than one of the dog tribe. His hair was brushed and gleaming silver with his bangs pulled back leaving his face free to be viewed and an astonishing site it was. The voice in the back of my head nagged me about how stunningly handsome…no beautiful he was. He was how those in the village described gods from heaven and if he had been from Kagome’s time he would have been one of many idols captured in still and moving pictures. 

He was desirable no matter who and how you looked at him. I knew that much, it was hard not to. Why, why did he mate me? What was there that he saw that no others could? Is it that I can give him pure blooded heirs?

I would have pondered this more but he spoke, his voice smooth like the silk that adorned him. 

“It is time for you to venture out and about Ototou. I have gathered a collection of kimono, pick the one that pleases you and come be at my side. I wish to have your presence with me on this night, in the hopes that I will have it in the New Year as well.”

I felt my eyes widen and my jaw slacken. I couldn’t think of a reply, I simply nodded and watched as he turned and left me there with four sets of kimono and two servants to assist in the applying of whichever I chose. 

I stood shakily causing my pup to shift inside, wiggling inside its watery room. Just recently had my unborn begun to move inside me, nothing visible as of yet and no feeling from the outside which seemed a disappointment to his sire. He would have loved Ryusei’s carrying months. The boy did nothing but kicks and move to the point of pain and discomfort. 

 

I sighed and stared at the 4 kimonos placed before me. The first was a piece in the palest shade of jade green with a rich crimson under robe and pattern of white, crimson, silver and gold flowers flowing among the jade green, a crimson and gold obi seemed to match the flowers in coloring. The second was a kimono set in the darkest black at the bottom and grew into a golden river which then changed into the deep red of the setting sun while flowers and carp dominated the gold river and crimson. The obi was a deep gold with maple leaves littering it in fine detail while the under robe of pure white only enhanced the brighter colors of the outer kimono. The third kimono was a deep golden yellow offset with a pale yellow under robe and a deep orange and silver obi with the theme of phoenixes. The last and final robe was the darkest shade of navy blue at the bottom and lightened as it continued upward until it became a pale light blue with many pale white blossoms falling from top to bottom among the shade of blue. The obi was the palest blue that reminded me of Sesshomaru’s hair in the moonlight with hints of silver stars stitched into it and a darker burgundy over it and tied with a gold string. The under robe was a clean white. 

I turned away the green one and watched as one of the servants took it away and placed it into a bamboo basket, placing it into my closet after placing on the lid. I looked at the other three and found my decision hard. 

“What color is Lord Sesshomaru wearing,” I asked the servant who continued standing and waiting patiently for my decision. 

“When last I saw him, my lord was wearing a deep crimson and ebony.”

“Then let’s get rid of the crimson, red and black one,” I said and watched as what I was asked was done in the same manner as the jade kimono. 

I stood there debating at the last two when one of the servants softly cleared her throat. I looked at her questioningly and she blushed a soft pink.

“Might I make a suggestion, sire?”

“Go ahead,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders. 

“I suggest the golden one. The blue is beautiful but tonight the lord is dressed like night and beside him you could be day.”

I nodded, “The gold one it is.”

It took a little over an hour to dress in the kimono and to have my hair assembled in a manner befitting a lord as the blushing maid had so kindly put it. She also mourned the loss of my long locks but commented on how quickly it was beginning to grow out. 

This maid servant was innocent and shy and a bit overly talkative and it wasn’t until she turned around to fetch a hairpin from my dresser that I saw the long orange tails with white tips, a fox demon and one of higher class judging by the number of tails. 

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Reika, sire,” she replied as she placed a gold and white lily hairpin in the right side of my head, little rivulets of pearls cascading through my hair. 

I nodded and stood up, giving myself a quick once over in the mirror of my dresser before I began making my way to the door, “Here goes nothing.”

I made my way down the hall and then the stairs until I found myself in a large room filled with the sound of traditional koto harps and flutes, talking and the clatter of feet on the ground. I passed by many not stopping to greet instead searching the room until I found my son who once again was adorned in robes the deep shade of midnight blue offset by pale whites and accompanied this time by yellows and gold’s.

He looked my way and bowed to the guests he had been talking with before making his way to my side. He took my right hand and smiled brightly up at me as he led me through the room stopping here and there showing me people, clothes, foods and gifts brought to Sesshomaru, congratulating him on his mate, pup and the next one due. I took it all in at a slow pace, glad to have my Ryusei at my side. 

The night wore on and as Sesshomaru made his way through the room thanking many for gifts and alliances and talking about whatever it was he talked about I sat and ate until I could eat no more and my body felt exhausted from merely being amidst the crowd. 

“Shall I escort you upstairs ChiChiue,” asked Ryusei at my side. 

I looked across the room and found Sesshomaru still engrossed in conversation and stood adjusting my kimono. He had not once made his way over to give a welcoming comment nor ask how I was and I found myself angry and annoyed and at the same time depressed and saddened by his lack of attention. I let the conflict tug at my heart for a moment more before I nodded down at Ryusei.

“Yes, it’s probably for the best.”

It didn’t take long to arrive at my quarters and as I sat on my bed I felt Ryusei’s hand squeeze my own. I looked up and found his eyes deepened in worry. 

I smiled and brought my hands up to his face, his hand still clasped in one, “You’re too young to have that look. Go downstairs and enjoy yourself until your sire says otherwise. Show them what a fine catch you are. Go be young.”

He gave me a worried frown and he closed his eyes as I pulled his head close so that I could kiss his forehead, “Go”, I said with a smile. 

He left and I lay down in all my finery and closed my eyes fighting back errant tears. I would make sure that he fit into this world even if I myself felt alienated. 

Sesshomaru’s mother’s words echoed through my mind, “locked away to birth pups while he takes another to his bed”. I let my errant tears zap what energy I had left as I fell asleep. 

 

To be continued…..

Sorry it took so long. I’m going to keep writing so please keep reading.

Kat


	11. Every Moment Marked

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 11: Every Moment Marked**

After New Years the servants were overly kind in their attentions to me and many talked aloud as they worked about New Years tryst’s and loving words spoken by one lord or another.

 

I listened intently to their stories whispered while they worked in my quarters and in the halls. Stories of stolen touches, passionate kisses and stories of the actual act that made it seem so…much more than I had ever experienced with Sesshomaru. It seemed so surreal to hear them speak of the act of making pups as pleasurable and heavenly let alone the fact that they yearned for more. The very idea filled my mind with unanswered questions. What made the act pleasurable? Could it be pleasurable for everyone? Was it only painful for male couples?

 

I had myself experienced much pleasure coupling with Kagome and she herself had let me know that she found our coupling as pleasurable; she intentionally sought me out just for the act itself a few times. I wondered if there was a way that I could find pleasure in being the uke of this relationship.

 

I spent most of my free time in the library researching and reading. I pulled four or five books of various types and when no one was around I’d pull what I could find in the vast shelves that had anything that contained anything sexual or reproduction wise and hid it amidst my other selections. I made sure to read these when alone, usually in warm candlelight under the cover of night.

 

I found myself engrossed in a new mission of sorts and stayed up til dawn lost in words describing the act between male and female, frustrated with my search and exhausted during the day to the point of falling asleep while dining on lunch at the dining table in front of Sesshomaru.

 

This brought more questions from Aoiyuki about my health and I answered her as best I could, saying merely that I had been lost in my reading, finding a quiet solace in the stories I read.  Sesshomaru began checking on me every night at midnight, making sure I was in bed, worried I would become sick or worse lose the pup because of my stupidity. I appeased him in this, worried for my unborn pup’s health as well.

 

I found my search a losing battle until half of February had gone by. I had finally found what I had been searching for. Not so…much a book but a gathering of notes from a journal written by some demon named Rokushoji who at one time been a provincial lord in these parts under one of my ancestors. What I found was vivid descriptions of his mate and not just his mate but his male mate. I suppose Rokushoji thought himself a poet. Everything about his mate and their trysts was usually compared to acts of nature and never once had he said anything indecent about his mate or their couplings.

 

After reading his descriptions I found myself with more questions than before.  

 

I set aside my sexual curiosity as March drew near and my pup grew much too large for its current home. It kicked and stretched and moved a great deal and at these times I tried to calm it with soft talks and placing my hands on my belly rubbing it soothingly. Sesshomaru watched from a distance, occasionally taking the initiative and placing his hand on my belly feeling the movement of his pup. I allowed this with as little irritation on my face as possible. I found myself proud of not throwing “tantrums” as they had been called. I don’t know when expressing myself or my feelings became tantrums but that was what Sesshomaru had called them. When this pup was ready to enter this world he was in for the largest tantrum he would ever see, I was betting on it.

 

Ryusei also took a great deal of pleasure in his soon to arrive sibling’s antics. He talked about playing with his new sibling and teaching him what he himself had learned from his father. I couldn’t help but be proud of Ryusei, he had grown so…much. It was hard to believe he would soon be eight.

 

April came in a flurry of falling cherry blossoms that blanketed the castle courtyard in a soft blush colored blanket. I found myself relieved with their arrival since I was overly large with pup and more than ready to have it enter this world quickly and with good health. It felt as though everyone was looking my way constantly and I found them stifling. I missed the comfort of my first pregnancy experience. The calm and restraint everyone showed, the soft laughter of Sango and Miroku’s children’s voices along with Shippo’s and the comfort Kaede offered just by being there, her experience and confidence a giant stress reliever with no trying on her part.

 

I ignored the stares and well meant advice and kicked off my tabi and enjoyed the feel of the petals and cool spring air on my overly pampered feet and toes. I felt the breeze blow my wisps of hair freely around my face and found it refreshing.

 

“Chichiue! Why are you barefooted?”

 

I looked across the courtyard and found Ryusei approaching with his father in tow. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to end well. They came closer and the tell tale wrinkle could be seen between Sesshomaru’s eyebrows letting me know he was irritated or angry.

 

He could take his anger and shove it up his ass. This was my one respite as of late and I’d be damned if I let him take it away from me on this day.

 

Ryusei approached and smiled brightly, “Are the petals soft” he asked innocently.

 

“Quite, like a well worn silk kimono,” I said with a wink.

 

“Come inside, Inu Yasha.”

 

It was said with what I sounded like a calm manner but I heard the storm brewing in his words. He had a thunder of reprimands waiting for me.

 

“When I am done,” and I managed to say it with a soft tone as I closed my eyes to feel the pleasantly warm rays of the sun on my face.

 

“I’d prefer now.”

 

“And I’d prefer a lot of things but we don’t always get what we prefer. So I ask you let me have my moment of calm so that I can smile when I re-enter the stagnant air of our home.”

 

It felt like my voice had been forced from someone else’s mouth. I could feel the emotions I had buried for long emerge with that short comment and I had a feeling his reply wouldn’t be good.

 

I had defied him and I had defied him in front of our son who was used to seeing his sire get his way.

 

“Ryusei, go inside.”

 

At that I opened my eyes and felt my calm atmosphere vanish. I turned just my head to look at him as he stared at our son.

 

“Are you afraid he’ll see what he saw when you first drug me here? Afraid to let him see you hit his carrying ChiChiue? If it can’t be done in front of him then it is best you not do it.”

 

My calm had vanished and any rest I had gotten from it replaced with anxiety and stress. Anger bubbled to the surface and rage and I felt my face twist with it.

 

He looked at me and walked towards me as I bent my knees and jumped as high as my legs would allow, finding a branch to land on in the nearest cherry tree.

 

“This is not wise, Inu Yasha.”

 

“Then give me my respite just once and all will be well.”

 

He jumped into the air and jumped at the end of my branch and I stepped back, my back hitting the trunk of the tree. I watched as he approached feeling trapped and did as instinct demanded; I jumped, landing on the next branch. I did this on two more branches, landing oddly on the last one causing my ankle to twist. It throbbed with pain and I struggled to keep my balance and still he pursued me. I looked for a way down, afraid to do much more jumping in my state, afraid for mine and my pups’ safety. Sesshomaru didn’t give me much of a chance as he jumped down in front of me; I panicked and jumped to a branch down below bringing me closer to the ground.

 

I was only a little over six feet from the ground and I could make it safely to the ground from here. The branch I stood on was still young and flimsy so I readied myself, careful of my aching ankle as I did so. The branch shook, shaking me, throwing off my balance. I looked up and saw Sesshomaru and looked down to see the ground just as a loud crack sounded. I was in mid jump when it gave way and I felt myself falling. I felt my body hit the ground and the air left my lungs. Branches and petals fell around me as I fought to catch my breath and no sooner had I caught it that I felt an excruciating cramp. I fought to sit up and saw why I had felt that cramp.

 

I had landed flat on my face, my belly and unborn pup taking the brunt of my fall.

 

I rolled onto my side and took in a few gulps of air as I saw Sesshomaru’s feet. I screamed as the cramp became a stabbing pain unlike any I had felt before. As if I was being cut from the inside out. All sound was drowned out as my heartbeat and breaths thrummed loudly.

 

I curled in on myself praying I had not killed my pup. I felt someone lift my body and the world rocked by colors mixing, making me ill. The pain continued and I felt my body lowered onto a soft surface. Hands forced me to uncurl and the pain grew and then I felt liquid pour down my thighs.

 

“No…no no no….,” I felt myself sobbing out.

 

I had broken my waters. I had killed my pup. I now had to deliver a dead pup.

 

“Calm yourself, Inu Yasha,” I heard Aoiyuki’s voice and then saw her face.

 

I felt her hands on my face and heard her bark out orders and then the pain intensified. I had started having contractions, contractions unlike anything I had felt when birthing Ryusei, sharp and intense and laced with stinging and unrelenting pinching. I tried to concentrate on what was going around me but failed miserably, each pain numbing my thoughts, leaving only thoughts of my dead pup and fear of my own death in its wake.

 

Hands found their way into my now barely clothed body and I felt them searching and then I felt them stretching me, and screams tore from my throat. I felt that almost familiar pressure and knew it to be my pup at my entrance.

 

Hands cupped my face and forced me to focus, “I need you to listen Inu Yasha, you have to push, no matter how much it hurts. Understand?”

 

I nodded weakly, “I’ll have both your lives saved when this is all over with. Just push when I say.”

 

I felt hands on my body again and the stabbing pain returned and she yelled to push and I did, as hard as I could, feeling my insides stretch and tear as I did so.

 

“Good, you can do it! Keep going.”

 

I pushed until I felt light headed and when she gave me a rest I lay back and stared up at the ceiling. It somehow looked brighter than before.

 

“Don’t you leave me! Get yourself together and push Inu Yasha!”

 

The pain worsened and I forced myself up and began to push with any and all strength. I did this at every command until the room began spinning. I felt my pups head pass and fell back as the world around me hazed and darkened. I closed my eyes and let the darkness pull me in as the pain all but disappeared.

 

Something yanked me back. I felt my eyes forced open and my head rolled to the side where I watched Aoiyuki blowing into the open mouth of a blood covered newborn, much too small to have come from me. I went to close my eyes again and felt a sharp smack to my right cheek. I worked to keep my eyes open and saw Sesshomaru standing above me. I felt adrift in my own body. I couldn’t feel much, a dull throb between my legs let me know I could still feel somewhat.

 

I closed my eyes and felt hands cupping my face and squeezing so that I was looking once again into Sesshomaru’s face.

 

“Leave me………be………”

 

“NO!”

 

It was gruff and left no room for argument but I was always one to pull his strings.

 

I felt drained and exhausted and I just wanted to sleep. I closed my eyes again and felt myself fall into the comfort that was nothingness and just as silence was taking over I heard a cry. Not just a cry, but the wail of a baby and then there was nothing.

 

 

To be continued….

 

 

Yeah…a little depressing but then again I have found myself addicted to the Yoshida Brothers and the song “Cherry Blossoms in Winter” seems appropriate for this scene. If you haven’t heard of the Yoshida Brother’s, they’re traditional Shamisen players, you can see them in the Nintendo Wii commercials and you can see them live at Otakon this year. Check em’ out on Youtube as well.

 

Well gotta go. I’d like to start on Chapter 12.

 

OH and this story now has its own banner on forever fandom dot net~!

 

Kat

 


	12. With Apparitions of Your Soul

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 12: With Apparitions of Your Soul

 

I found myself in a quiet calm and warm place. I felt hands on my legs moving and bending them, as if afraid I would never be able to move them again. I felt the same set of hands work on one arm and then the next and I couldn’t help but feel annoyed and I moaned to let the individual know my displeasure. The movement stopped and then I felt those hands on my face and blinding light entered my right and then my left eye. I moaned again and then it stopped.

I was left to my warm sanctuary once again. 

I felt the same thing once again and as I felt the bending and stretching of my legs a constant chattering had ensued. I couldn’t follow much of what was being said but my limbs twitched and I tried to stop the constant massaging of my arms, hands and fingers by squeezing the hand that massaged mine. 

I was eventually left alone.

This continued within an extended period of time until finally I fought to open my eyes. Light, blindingly white stung my eyes causing them to water and I closed them only to open them and blink repeatedly. At this I heard much noise and then a blurred face appeared above mine. I saw the blurred white outline and two blue orbs and then closed my eyes. It was much later amidst the familiar chatter that I felt a dampness move across my eyes and face and I opened them again to stare up at the slightly less blurry face of an older demoness with deep ebony eyes and long flowing white hair with her sides in a pair of braids. 

My mind fought to put a name to that face and then as she gave a small smile it came, Aoiyuki. 

I found myself awake at last and I fought to move my head in order to look around and found it difficult. I could tell that I was still in my quarters and I saw that nothing had really changed. I worked to sit up and found it just as difficult if not more so. Everything seemed to work, it was like trying to move a marionette. I was a stranger in my own body. 

I sat there and took everything in slowly, glancing around my quarters, turning my head until my neck no longer felt stiff and even getting it to crack once or twice. I focused on my fingers, hands and arms next until they too were once again movable. Aoiyuki sat back and watched quietly observing or waiting in case I needed her assistance. I licked my lips and found them dry and slightly cracked and tasting like fresh bee’s wax. The thought caused my stomach to growl. 

I saw a glass of water on my nightstand and no sooner had I thought of reaching for the enticing clear liquid than I found the glass in my hand and a very doting Aoiyuki now at my bedside. I lifted the glass to my lips and drank slowly, wetting my parched throat. I cleared my throat once and then twice before attempting to speak.

“How long have I been asleep?”

“Sleep isn’t what you were doing; it was as if your body had put you into a coma. Lord Sesshomaru said he had seen you like that once before but this time it was without a spell,” she replied while watching me. 

Without a spell…Oh, Kikyo’s arrow, the tree…but how…? 

My hands wrapped around my body and found that it was easier than previously. It was then I realized and everything began to fall into place. I looked down at my belly and found it flat, upon opening my robe I found my belly now renewed and without its previous stretch marks. 

“How long,” I asked again, feeling nervous.

“A little over six months.”

I felt my breath catch and I forced my legs over the edge of the bed, ignoring the pins and needles and forcing myself into a standing position, wobbling as I did so. I stood beside my bed until my feet felt steady and made my way to the mirror atop my dresser. 

Upon looking into it I saw myself and I almost looked to be who I was before I had birthed Ryusei. My hair had grown to its original length. I shook my head and turned to look at Aoiyuki. 

“My pup…did it….live,” I asked feeling my throat constrict. 

“Yes, you delivered a healthy baby girl. Lord Sesshomaru has named her Chiouka, Chi for blood and Ouka for cherry blossom. He thought it a good name.”

I couldn’t help but cry aloud. My pup had survived and it was a daughter. Chiouka; a beautiful name, I had to see her.

“I will call for a tub to be brought up. Bathe and get dressed and then I will take you to see your daughter.”

I nodded and sat on the edge of my bed. It hadn’t taken long for the tub to be brought up and my usual servants came to fill it with hot water, stopping to bow in my direction and offer sincere greetings and congratulations on returning to “the world of the living”. 

Had I died? If I had, had Sesshomaru brought me back to life?

I shook the dismal thoughts from my head for the time being and tried to think about my daughter. Who did she take after? What color was her hair? Did she have my eyes? I continued to let the questions fill my head as I watched bucket after bucket of hot water enter the tub. 

Once the tub was filled I watched as Reika filled the tub with tuberose petals and a bit of dried tangerine and lemon peels. 

“The tuberose is your usual scent but the tangerine and lemon will revitalize you. Wouldn’t want our Lord to fall asleep again.”

I smiled and watched as she set a stool by the tub as well as a foot stool which she piled with soaps, towels and rags. 

I watched her leave and made my way over. I stripped the worn sleeping robe from my body and slowly lowered myself into the warm steaming and fragrant waters and allowed my weary muscles a respite from their aches. I laid there until my water became luke warm and then I dunked my head, wetting my once again long locks. I used the soaps and rags and scrubbed every part of my body, toes to nose before soaping up my hair and using a special soap which was very similar to Kagome’s “conditioner”. I rinsed my hair and grabbed a towel, patting myself dry before I grabbed another and wrapped it around my body. I grabbed the last towel and wrapped it around my head and hair before exiting the tub. 

Atop my bed lay two sets of kimono. One was a simple set of golden yellow, pale yellow, bright orange and red with maple leaves done in gold and silver threading. The second was a deep red, white, pale pink and palest orange with phoenix’s adorning it in multicolored stitching. I opted for yellow, finding it a calmer and more invigorating color. Judging by the kimono colors and counting back I could safely say that it was once again Fall. I had missed the end of Spring and all of Summer. 

I couldn’t help but wonder what my son and now daughter had learned and done in that time. Six months had once seemed a drop in the bucket but now it felt like an eternity had passed while I lay in my dark world. 

Reika returned to my side once again and roused me from my gloomy thoughts which I more than appreciated as well as her help in putting on the kimono and its many layers, my recovering limbs not much on intricate knots and tying this day. 

When we were done I sat and watched as Reika pulled my long locks away from my face, looping my sides and letting them stay beside my face the rest she put into intricate loops and left the rest free flowing down my back. 

“I’m beginning to enjoy having others do my hair,” I said as I saw the final result.

“I heard that Lord Sesshomaru does as well but you didn’t hear it from me,” she said with a wink. 

I stood and followed her outside of my bedroom and into my quarters where I saw my son. He had grown so…much, my son who was now eight. He saw me and his face lit up. 

“ChiChiue!”

He launched himself and I caught him, his arms nearly wrapped around me and his head came almost to my chest. 

“Ryusei…” 

I wrapped my arms around him and bent to place a kiss atop his head. 

“I missed you, ChiChiue. I talk to Chiouka all the time and I tell her all about you.” 

My eyes teared up and I wiped them quickly before squeezing my son tightly. 

“Come ChiChiue, I’ll take you to see her. She is with Rin-neechan.”

“Rin,” I asked clearly confused. 

“Yes, because you were asleep we had to find her a nursemaid and Rin who just birthed her own son just two months after Chiouka’s birth had begun producing milk in her seventh month and had no qualms sharing it with Chiouka,” answered Aoiyuki as she entered. 

I nodded and even though everything said made perfect sense it still left unease in my heart and mind. It was also then that it had occurred to me that I would still not be able to tend and care for my daughters’ nutritional needs since my milk had dried up while I was in my world of darkness. 

I sucked up the urge to sulk and instead put on a brave face, ready to see my daughter. 

I was lead by the hand by my son who followed behind Aoiyuki. We left the hallway in which my quarters were and made our way down the stairs and past many surprised guards and servants who looked as though they had seen the walking dead, then again I was up and about after six months of deep sleep so I suppose to them I had been dead. In Kagome’s time it was not so unusual for one to wake up weeks, months or even years later but here I was betting most were buried alive. 

I was brought out of my thoughts when we reached the opposite end of the castle. An area where guests were often roomed and where Rin’s quarters had been moved after she and Kohaku had become a mated pair, as Sesshomaru had put it. 

Aoiyuki knocked on the door and it took only a moment for the door to open revealing Kohaku who gave a small bow in our direction. 

“Come in, Rin just finished nursing Chiouka and Hotaru. Give her a moment to change them and she’ll be out.”

I nodded dumbly not really hearing the reply that Aoiyuki made nor the rest of their conversation for in that small space of time Rin entered the room, an infant balanced in each arm. I saw that the small child that Rin had been was no more and what stood before me was a doting mother. She was pretty and motherhood seemed to suit her. I probably could have noted more things about her change from child to adult but the children in her arms now had my undivided attention. 

In her right arm was a boy child with short tuffs of ebony hair and the deepest brown eyes. His pudgy hands clung to Rin’s kimono as she walked closer. He had to be Hotaru, Rin and Kohaku’s son. 

The other child was no doubt my daughter. She was a sight that stole my breath just like Ryusei had when he was born. She had the most beautiful moonlight blue tufts of hair and eyes the color of the harvest moon, too gold to be yellow and too yellow to be considered amber. Her skin was like marble which caused her developing demon marks to stand out along her eye lids. The tell tale moon of her sire absent from her forehead at this time. 

She looked at me and then at Rin and then at me. When Rin held her towards me I didn’t hesitate in taking her into my arms. I inhaled deeply smelling that smell that only infants had. She was my daughter, my second child who I had almost lost. 

I held her close and nuzzled her hair and she seemed to do the same. I moved to sit atop a pillow in the corner of the room staring in her amazing eyes as I did so. She stared back and as I sat we blocked out the others around us, lost in our silent conversation. 

I sat with her in my lap and I gently caressed her soft milky tresses and tickled her by touching her pointed ears, causing her to giggle which was in itself a beautiful sound. I was disappointed to see that her eyes resembled her fathers, there would be no doubt who her sire was, and she was a female version of him and reminded me of his mother who had confronted me months prior to her birth.

She leaned forward and patted my cheeks before tugging playfully on my hair, her fists wrapped in it. She tugged until I leaned down further to prevent hair loss and it was then that I realized her real target as I felt a sharp pain atop my head. My ears, the little minx seemed entranced by them and after the initial pain causing tug she seemed just as pleased to pet and touch them which I preferred to the tugs she had given earlier. 

Eventually she let go and I set her on the floor and watched as she rolled over onto her knees and proceeded to crawl around the room giggling as Ryusei began a game of keep away with himself as the prize. 

I engrossed myself in them, not noticing the sudden change in atmosphere or the figure standing behind me. 

“She’s quite a handful,” was spoken aloud causing me to jump up onto my knees. 

There he stood, looking the same as he always had. Just as arrogant and emotionless as I remembered. 

“I see you have recovered fully Inu Yasha.”

I stood up and moved back from him and closer to my children who had stopped playing. 

“I wouldn’t say fully but I am awake.”

He stared at me like he was assessing prey and then looked back up and into my eyes. 

“Well since you’re awake I think it best this be said while the incident is still fresh in your mind.”

He paused and I had a feeling that he was going to say and do something stupid if he hadn’t already. 

“You are to remain inside the castle grounds at all times. I have informed all guards and servants of this as well. When you carry again you will be limited to the castle only. We will NOT have a repeat of last time.”

His eyes narrowed and I felt an invisible noose tighten around my neck as I fought to breath, all breaths caught in my chest after his announcement. 

He took a step towards me and I stepped back. His eyes widened momentarily and then returned to normal. I don’t know what he saw in my face but I could feel the raging emotions running rampant and I was not keeping them concealed on my face. 

I locked them down and stopped the painful need to scream and carry on and instead gave him the same dead look he always gave me. Conserve my energy. I would make sure this would not be the last time this subject was brought up, but for now I would let it be. I didn’t plan on leaving the castle anytime soon but that didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about it. 

If he thought I was going to carry again he had lost his mind, especially if he thought I would be carrying his again, let alone have to bare his touch again. 

I felt a hand wrap around mine and saw Sesshomaru look down and then back up at me. He turned and left the room and I could feel the shaking of my knees and hear the pounding of my heart. I fell to my knees and grabbed Chiouka from where she crawled beside me, holding her against me. I don’t know how long I sat there, only that Rin removed my crying daughter from my grasp and Aoiyuki helped me to stand. I was lead from Rin’s quarters and back to my own, my sons hand in my grasp until I was led to my bed.

“Ryusei, go and play. Your father will be fine, I promise.”

I watched as he left and felt my breath catch. I was alone….

I was in a castle of fools led by a tyrant and I was alone. All of the people in this castle were loyal to that monster aside from my children and as Ryusei left I felt my composure slip and the tears ran freely down my cheeks. 

“Calm yourself Yasha. Do not let what Sesshomaru said hurt you so. He is a fool we all know this but he will relent. You must not let him get to you.”

I looked up into her ebony eyes and laughed, although it sounded too harsh to call it laughter. 

“He employs you, it is your job to pacify me and he will keep me locked in here as his whore and pup factory. He will turn my pups against me and I will forever be the fool. The talk alone will set my ears on fire. He is Lord Sesshomaru’s whore! He makes pure blood babes! He is the Lord’s fuck toy and nothing else. He will make me into something I’m not.”

Her hands pulled me against her chest and she began petting my head, “He can only do that if you let him.”

“But he’ll find a way. It will be as his mother said. I will be fucked and pupped and then he will leave me to be with another and I will be left behind to watch.”

As I said it the words from my conversation with Sesshomaru’s mother came back to me and I stopped my sobbing. I looked into Aoiyuki’s eyes and felt mine become a void of emptiness. 

“Can you remove the organ that creates pups?”

She pulled away from me and looked down at me with sadness in her eyes, “Not without killing you and I won’t let those pups grow up without their birth sire.”

“Sesshomaru’s mother mentioned a tea….can you make it?”

“A tea, I know it to work on females…I don’t know of anyone who’s prescribed it for males but we could try.”

I felt a small hope return at that one sentence. 

If I could persuade him I couldn’t carry then perhaps he would let me be.

Perhaps….

To be continued….

Still addicted to Yoshida Brothers.

This story seems to be the Yin to Cornerstones Yang. In this story I have made Sesshomaru out to be a bastard but I don’t consider him one and I am not intentionally trying to make him a bad guy. He will eventually realize his faults but it will take a lot to get him there. 

Kat


	13. I'm ever swiftly moving

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 13: I’m ever swiftly moving

 

The world around me felt surreal and unnatural as I once again watched leaves coloring before tumbling to the ground, another fall upon us and a summer vanished before I had the chance to witness and enjoy it. 

That wasn’t the only reason my world had a feeling of up becoming down, I had become a prisoner in my brothers home and my servants had now become unaware jailors and spies. 

Yes, I say unaware because they were drilled incessantly as to how my behavior and mood was. They talked about how he “doted” on me and how he was such a great mate while inside I was dying and wishing awful things on him. I wanted no part of him or his possessions which seemed to accumulate in my room as he continued to send kimonos, hair pins and scented oils at least once a week if not more. 

I ignored them and had continued wearing the old kimono’s I had worn previously and amused myself by giving away the hair pins and other hair pieces to my servants who seemed to take more joy in them than I ever would. 

I rarely left my quarters and if I did it was to make my way to either Rin’s quarters or to a designated play area set aside for my pups as well as Rin’s. It was in these places in the company of my pups that I found my respite from Sesshomaru and his rules. My pups grew by leaps and bounds ever intriguing me and occupying my waking and dreaming thoughts. 

Chiouka had begun to stand, taking steps here and there. She tried hard to follow her brother and seemed almost angry when she couldn’t. She grew fond of me but still clung to Rin and there was nothing I could do or say that would change it. Rin had been mother and nurse to her for six months while I had been in my coma, I smiled and bore it with as much calm and grace as one in my position could. 

I decided not to sit back and idly wait for Sesshomaru to once again fill me with his seed, which in turn would be another pup. Aoiyuki had fulfilled my one and only favor I had asked of her; she had brewed me my tea. A tea that would hopefully prevent me from carrying anymore pups. I drank my tea diligently once a day and at least once a day Sesshomaru would find me in my sanctuaries and when he did he would either sit back in a corner or watch me interact with my pups or quietly converse with someone else in the room. He left me alone, not really speaking to me or of me while in my presence, this left me nervous and anticipating his moves and actions. 

It seemed like a dangerous dance the two of us. He padded gently around me while I quickly dodged and avoided him. A sad pair of partners we were, never touching, speaking or direct eye contact, always apart. It probably wouldn’t have looked so odd to others who hadn’t known us, they would have thought us prudish or private but when you saw Rin and Kohaku we stood out like sore thumbs. Where we dodged touches, they went out of their way to make physical contact of any kind. Where we avoided looking directly into each others eyes, theirs never seemed to look elsewhere. We never spoke, not even a whisper and they seemed to hang on each word, whisper or sound that escaped from each others lips. 

I found myself hating them, just a little. 

When the first snow fell and covered the ground I found the signs of my beginning heat upon me. 

My body constantly hot and aching, my sensitivity heightened and my emotions all over the place. I continued taking the tea in the hopes that it would keep me from carrying, knowing that I would soon produce pheromones letting everyone, including Sesshomaru, know that I would was ready to conceive. I couldn’t stop myself from panicking every time he passed me in the hall and my eating habits had all but stopped as I found my nerves too much of a wreck to try holding food in my stomach. 

It was on the second day of my heat induced fast that he approached me in the hall. His aura was the same as it had been the first time, emanating dominance and power. He leaned over me at the dinner table, close enough that his hot breath tickled my ear causing goose bumps to rise along my arms. 

“Do not bring Ryusei or Chiouka to your room tonight.”

With that he stood and walked away. I watched him go and felt my empty stomach do flips as nausea took over. I sat in my dinner seat until the table had been cleared and most of its occupants had vanished to their own quarters. I watched my children leave, Rin taking Ryusei’s hand and leading him from the dining room and felt my eyes grow hot as he turned around to look at me as he was led from the room. 

I lifted my hand and waved to him, plastering a smile on my face. I sat there until I could no longer see him or his worried face and then I stood up. It would be of no use to ignore what I was told or to run and throwing a fit would only lead to more harm than good. 

So with a heavy heart I made my way to my quarters. I found them empty but also found that my room had been set up to welcome more than just me on this night. The fires had been lit in the fireplaces; one in my room and one in my sitting area. My bed had been made as usual but I also found my basin water warm and filled with citrus oils and lavender petals. I looked at myself in the mirror and found someone I didn’t recognize. I was pale and thin and my face showed an emotion that I knew wasn’t often displayed on the face of the old me, although describing was a task I didn’t want or care to do. 

I turned away from the mirror and took a warmed rag from my dressing table and dipped it into the oil warmed water before wiping it across my face, neck, arms and hands; dipping twice more before finishing my task. Once I found myself suitably clean I turned to my window which had an inside ledge and perched myself upon on it, looking out across the courtyard which was once again snow covered. I felt a slight thought of madness cross my mind at having to live this scene over again, at having him touch me again. 

Deep inside I hoped that I could lay there and let him take his pleasure. If I were a good little uke he could do as he likes, finish and leave, just like he had the two other times. If I were still and appeared to be willing then perhaps this time would be different. I wasn’t expecting anything like what I had heard the servants whisper of but I could at least expect a bit more civility. 

I heard the door open and felt his presence in the door way. He seemed larger than he was and it wasn’t helped by the odor of musk that wafted off of him. He was aroused…and I suppose I should have found that a surprise or offensive but I was no longer an innocent moron. I knew that he had found me attractive and my body a source or pleasure.

I felt him come to a stop behind me and felt his hand on my shoulder. 

“Move to the bed.”

The door closed and soft footsteps slowly vanished as the sound of a second door closing could be heard. 

I stood and turned to find myself face to chest, a large kimono clad chest. I quickly looked down, afraid to show him my face for fear of what he would see on it. 

As I stood there his hands wandered over my body, stopping at my outer kimono robe, untying the sash and the obi. I heard them slip and fall to the floor, a sound that only satin or silk could make echoing in my mind as he slid my kimono from body and let it join the other bits of cloth on the floor. 

I felt his hands in my hair, which had all but my bangs, been pulled up atop my head in a tucked under pony tail or bun. My face had been exposed and then I felt it cascading over my face, neck and back. I felt his hands roam through it, caressingly and then I felt him pull my body flush against him. I could feel his arousal pressing against my back, just a little above my tail bone. I gasped, shocked. 

He tilted my head back, taking advantage of my opened mouth and proceeded to delve his tongue inside my mouth. It was odd and forceful and yet I yelped and tried pry myself from his grasp, which he tightened. One arm wrapped around my midsection, the other holding my neck gently yet forcefully in place as he plundered my mouth. 

This continued until I started sliding down his body, my legs giving way from the sensations going through my body and lack of oxygen. 

He pulled me by my waist to my bed and lay me on my back. I tried to regain control of my facilities and no sooner had my senses returned that I felt him on me again, this time his hands on my thin under kimono, which soon disappeared. 

Flesh to flesh was the next thing I felt as his chest covered mine and his mouth, hands and hair trailed over every part of me that he could get to. I wriggled and gasped and shook my head to and fro. I needed something….

He touched my lower body and it was then that I realized I was aching with need, my neglected manhood standing at attention waiting for his touch. A touch that never came as hands went past my aching member and to my bottom. I felt a digit enter me and then another, stretching me as they entered and retreated repeatedly. 

As they entered on this last round they hit something that caused me to arch up, my hips coming completely off the bed. I heard what I thought was a snicker as the torture continued, his fingers now purposely hitting that place until I shamefully released my seed over his and my body. 

I lay there gasping for breath waiting for my shaking body to calm but it never had the chance as I felt the hard, hot flesh push into me, so…full and yet not as bad as that first or second time. He didn’t waste any time as he proceeded to pound into my now willing body. I don’t know how much time passed before I had my second orgasm and he his first but it wasn’t enough. No sooner had his knot loosened that he pulled me down so that my legs now rested on his shoulders and his hardening member once again at my entrance. 

He entered me again and pounded into me, knotting again as my orgasm hit for a third time. I felt myself pulled down by exhaustion before his knot loosened this time and he fell asleep. 

I awoke and found him sitting beside me, a glass of water in his hand. I struggled to sit up, finding myself overly sensitive as I did so, but no pain. I took the glass and drank it before lying back down and falling once again into a dreamless sleep. 

I awoke again and this time I awoke on my side, his hard flesh poking at my entrance. I couldn’t get words to form before he entered me, another rut beginning. 

I don’t know how many times we coupled and I can’t count how many times I found release nor how much time had passed. My window shades were pulled tight keeping light from seeping in. I know that we had tried positions that I had never even known existed, especially between male couples. On my back, on my sides, on my knees, stomach, arms with my legs in his grasp, on my shoulders with my knees in his grasp and finally once again in missionary position with a force so strong he had actually managed to break the hard wood foundation of my bed. 

I fell in and out of sleep between bouts of sexual gratification, never eating, and drinking either water or various teas he offered. 

I awoke finding him lying beside me and closed my eyes. Upon opening them again, I found him gone. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

A knock on the door disturbed any further sleep I would have gotten. I huddled under the covers as the sounds of water splashing became a distant echo, not really sleeping and not really awake. 

“Lord Inu Yasha, we’ve filled your tub sire. Please, bathe while the water remains hot. While you bathe we’ll ready a meal.”

With that the sound of the door closing echoed throughout my room. Rosehips and lavender permeated my room and I moaned as I made to sit up, my body just now catching up to the activities it had participated in. It hurt in places I hadn’t known were there and I felt like one giant bruise. I crawled out from under my cocoon of blankets and stood shakily. A long floor mirror against the far wall showed every purple, black, blue and even some green, brown and yellowing healing bruises that littered my pale body. 

I was even more surprised to find hickeys along my neck and chest and other odd places along my torso. I shook my head finding my hair a tangled mess and sticky in parts, with what I didn’t want to consider. 

I walked my nude, bruised and remnant covered body over to the tub and sat down on a wooden stool set there. I grabbed a rag and dipped it into my bathwater and did a once over until I wasn’t as disgusting as I had been before standing up and getting into the nice warm, nice smelling bath water. I slid fully under the water, wetting myself from head to toe. I came back up and grabbed at the soap and scrubbed myself furiously. From head to toe I scrubbed, although a lot more gently than I would have preferred, finding a lot of places far too tender to think about let alone touch. 

I soaped and rinsed my hair before I found a nice concoction that I had discovered was a lot like Kagome’s conditioner. I slicked my hair with the “conditioner” and let it sit that way until the water began to chill and then I rinsed it from my long locks. Once it was free from the substance I stood and stepped from the tub, finding myself a bit sturdier. 

As I dressed I felt the all too familiar fatigue hit and I made my way swiftly to my now clean bed. I grabbed a clean robe set aside for me by my servants and donned it before collapsing on the bed, the exhaustion pulling me down. 

Why, why did this exhaustion seem so…familiar?

My breath caught in my throat as I pushed myself up and grabbed another robe and pulled it on over the first. I all but ran from my quarters past stunned servants and maids. I made my way down the stairs and past staring guards until I came to stand in front of Aoiyuki’s quarters. I knocked urgently at the door. 

The door opened and upon seeing her face looking not the least bit surprised I felt anger and depression fill every part of my being. 

“Come in, Inu Yasha,” she said as she stepped back from the door. 

I felt myself moving but I couldn’t say how or why and when I found myself sitting on a couch with a blanket wrapped around my body I felt as if I were frozen while everything continued to move around me. It was quiet as I heard Aoiyuki’s movements in her quarters and it took a while for me to form the words and finally make them vocal but I had managed it somehow.

“I’m carrying.”

She stopped mid-movement and without turning to face me answered, “I stopped the first morning to drop off your tea and he took it from me. I believe he gave it to you. On the second morning I returned and he accepted the tea again and while I was there he voiced his concerns about your heat. Saying it shouldn’t have lasted after your first coupling.”

I had been wondering about that myself but I remained quiet as she continued.

“The third morning I returned and found him there at the door to meet me. He was worried. You were far too skinny and you were drinking lots of water. Your heat was slowly draining you and it wasn’t letting up. He went to take the tea from me and as he took it into his hand I couldn’t help but let the worry show and that was when he followed my line of vision to the cup of tea.”

“So..he put two and two together and….”

“He dumped your tea into a nearby potted plant and told me not to return to your quarters unless summoned,” She paused and turned to face me, “which took two more days. He was worried. Your heat had seemed to calm some but it was still upon you. He had realized he had driven you to the tea and he pleaded for me to find a way to release you from your torture. So I made a tea that is often used to cleanse ones system of toxins and had him give it to you.”

I lowered my head and realized that I had no choice; I was to carry his heirs because clearly I would not be allowed to drink my tea anymore and I doubt he would let Aoiyuki to continue to follow my request and try to search for another that might work. Knowing him, he would probably personally check any tea’s being served to me.

“On the seventh day he left your room rather exhausted asking everyone to let you be until today. He gave strict orders that you were to stay in your quarters and rest unless he otherwise stated.”

I stared down at my midsection and felt my eyes grow hot. I watched as everything blurred as the feeling of warm wetness slipped down my cheeks, coming to a stop at my chin where they fell off, landing on my cold blanket clenched hands. 

I felt hands on my shoulders and felt myself pulled into a lap as I cried. No words were said for the longest time and eventually I found the soft and calming movement of a brush through my hair slowly lulling me into a calmness I hadn’t felt in a while. 

When the brushing stopped I waited a few minutes before sitting up. I stood up and un-wrapped the blanket from around my body and held it out to her. 

She shook her head and wrapped me in a blanket cocoon once more, “It’s cold and you are barely dressed. Take it, I have others.”

I made my way to her door and opened it, walking out without closing it behind me. I walked with a new calm, a calm that was not me. 

I would be birthing him another pup. Another year of birthing and of being locked away like some dirty secret or coveted prize, not that he’d let me go anywhere either way. 

I passed him by as I went up the stairs and said nothing to him. I felt him follow behind me and found that I didn’t even have the energy to hate him anymore. It was useless and wasteful and as I made my way to my quarters I realized it was futile.

I would be an infant stomping my feet for not getting my way and since that hadn’t worked I would now be what everyone wanted, a quiet well dressed doll, a breeding tool with no thoughts or feelings. 

I felt a hand on my arm and didn’t bother to look up as I was guided into my room and helped into my bed. I was covered until I found the layers of blankets stifling, but I said nothing. It was best to do nothing.

Yes…do nothing, say nothing, become nothing….

 

To Be Continued…..

 

THANK YOU ALL! For reading and reviewing and all the great feedback. You certainly make me feel better about my writing. You give me the confidence to keep writing and I thank you. 

This chapter was quite exciting and then ended in a deep sadness and loss of self. The next few chapters are going to hurt. When you guys review and say it made you cry, don’t feel bad because when writing chapters that make you cry I often tear up myself while writing them. 

Well let me post this and go to bed. Writing til 4am is tiring.

Kat


	14. Trying to Escape this Desire

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 14: Trying to Escape this Desire

 

I found myself more lost than I had ever been before. I felt like a child again, lost in my own pity, loathing and self hating. I didn’t do much, I found myself too drained to move let alone leave my room. I wasn’t sure what to blame, my depression or the unborn pup beneath my skin. I couldn’t bring myself to blame or hate the unborn pup I carried. I hated the circumstances and my ability to bear just a bit but I would never hate a living being that came from my body.

Ryusei came to visit often and brought his sister when he did. He grew by leaps and bounds, my soon to be ten year old son. He spoke with a loud clarity and self assertiveness that made me smile. He was proud of his family and of himself. He was my little sunshine. 

His sister who had just recently turned a year old was now outspoken and like most little ones her new favorite word was “no”. She was so…different from her big brother, yin and yang, not because they were male and female but because he was always yes and she no. He seemed demure in comparison to her brash quickness. She was a female miniature of me. At one she stood on chubby legs and walked with a strut that only she could pull off. What pleased me to the point of grinning; a rarity these days, was hearing her call me Chichiue, although it came out more “Chewy”. 

As the month came to a close it was decided to throw a party to celebrate Ryusei’s birth as well as ring in the new year to come. My son would be allowed to stay up like the adults and as the coming year began he would no longer be treated as a mere pup but as a male of the Inu clan. He seemed too young to me, too young to be considered an adult. I felt my chest tighten at the thought of what he would go through in the coming years. This year would only mark the beginning for him. He would start training in hand to hand combat as well as swordsmanship. He would learn what techniques he would be able to master and he would learn what it was to be a young man in the royal Inu tribe. 

Already I heard talk of potential fiance’s, male and female alike. I would sit and listen to talk but if something were to be pushed forward without my consent….let’s just say I would not allow my son to end up like me.

I tried not to let what was happening get to me but it did and I tried not to let it show. I did not want my son to think I disapproved of him or his coming of age, so I grinned and bared it with as silent a grace as I could. 

I watched the castle transform into a dark, dreary and quiet prison to a hustling and bustling center of activity. Decorations were strung about here and there and plain white candles were replaced with those of red, blue and green. I had never seen the castle so clean or been bombarded by the many pleasant aroma’s that floated through the halls and rooms. Potpourri filled the nooks and crannies along with drying citrus fruits strung with cinnamon. I found myself lost in the calming effect the changes brought about. As if I were trying to convince myself I weren’t locked away in the same place and instead in a new and interesting home or land. 

As the celebration drew close I watched as messengers left, sometimes two or three at a time, off to various destinations to extend invitations to what was sure to be a joyous occasion. I wondered if that was how Sesshomaru’s secretary had worded it. The thought itself made me shake my head in amusement. I wondered if the servants, maids and guards thought me insane at times as I wandered the prison that was my home. 

It was a bright day when I found my prison overrun with various people and their entourage. Only the most important were housed within our walls, others were housed in guests housing not but a few minutes walk from our home. I sat in my window and watched heavily bundled individuals arrive in demon form and in their human like visage on various forms of transportation. What surprised me was the amount of attendee’s this year. There had to be a representative from every animal clan out there, or at least those who had survived Naraku’s attacks. 

I was disturbed from my watch when my door opened and Sesshomaru entered carrying a kimono. He tossed it on my bed and looked my way.

“We are having a dinner tonight to welcome some of the more important visitors in demon society, I ask that you attend and dress appropriately.”

I stood up and walked over to my bed, lifting the sleeve up of the kimono he had tossed on the bed. I couldn’t keep the look of disdain and general displeasure off of my face as I eyed it. 

“Do you find fault in it,” he asked in his usual empty tone. 

His tone irritated me, the kimono with its effeminate style and colors irritated me and as I felt my changing body I felt more than irritated.

“You do know I have a penis right,” and I let the venom and general questioning tone roll right off the tongue and out of my mouth without a second thought.

To that he just stared at me for a moment and gave me a confused look. I clenched my jaw and ground my teeth just a bit.

“Can you find me clothes that are appropriate for a man? I am tired of dressing like woman! I am not a woman, when are you going to get that through your fucking head!?”

“You’ve worn others like this one before,” he replied. 

“Well perhaps I don’t feel like wearing any at this time, or perhaps I just didn’t want to put ripples in the water before, or perhaps just perhaps, those were the only types of kimono and yukata you’ve sent me.”

“I will see to having new kimono made for you,” was his reply.

“Then I will see to coming dinner when they are done and arrived.”

With that I returned to my window and sat down, starring down at the snow trodden grounds below. It was silent as I sat there his presence still there. You could feel him, a heavy sense of power in the room. I heard the rustle of clothing and then my door closed. I sat there a while longer watching as the sky began to darken, which in the winter means it merely went from a cloudy white sky to a deep gray and then black. The last light of day had all but faded when the sound of feet pounded into my quarters and my door swung open giving way to a heavily breathing Ryusei followed by a giggling Chiouka who also seemed out of breath, her little chest heaving with the weight of her race. 

Ryusei’s arms hugged a package to his body that was as wide as he was, his cheeks were flushed a healthy pink and little strands of silvery hair flew free from his once tightened ponytail plait. 

“What have we here? Are you two causing mischief again,” I asked as I turned to give them my full attention. 

“No ChiChiue! Otoosan sent us. He said you needed this,” and with that those once pudgy fingers now held out the package. 

I took the package in my hands and leaned down placing a kiss atop his head before doing the same to Chiouka who patted her head calling, “me” repeatedly. 

“What is it ChiChiue,” asked Ryusei who followed me over to my bed. 

“I don’t know, shall we find out,” I asked as I untied the twine keeping it wrapped. 

Ryusei nodded his head and Chiouka called out “no” while also nodding her head yes.

I tossed the string aside and opened the brown paper revealing deep red silk which reminded me of camellia’s in bloom. As I lifted the material I found that it was a traditional heian period outfit similar to the one I had often worn before although a more elegant material. It reminded me of the outfits often wore by the adults in my mothers home when I was younger. I had often seen young lords wearing outfits similar to this one although not nearly as bright and not with such fine embroidery. 

There were layers of white and black that shimmered in the candle light. It was beautiful and I could refuse but even though he was an ass, he had considered my feelings and had found me a mens hakama set so I would wear it. 

“Come Chiouka, lets go play with the blocks in the sitting area while ChiChiue gets ready,” I heard Ryusei say. I looked up from the silky set of clothing and watched as Chiouka practically ran from the room at the sound of blocks. 

I smiled and shook my head as the door to my bedroom was closed. I looked down at the material and undressed down to my fundoshi. I slid the first layer kimono on, a soft pale red shade compared to the outer robe. I slid it on and tied it in place and picked up the second layer, a light black silk robe and once again wrapped it around so that the collar of the first layer could be seen and tied it in place. The third robe and matching Hakama pants were black and as I adjusted so that the previous layers collars could be seen I tied it and made sure both the kimono and hakama pants were secure. I looked in the mirror and found that I could no longer see the just barely noticeable bump I had developed under the layers of kimono. 

Most don’t start really showing til their third or fourth full moon but my weight loss from before the conception had allowed the first signs to show earlier. I was only two full moons along and yet I could feel the energy inside of me as the pup grew. 

I shook the thoughts from my mind and grabbed the last robe and put it on over the black. The reds, whites and blacks brought out my pale coloring even more than just my red fire rat kimono had. It made my hair stand out like stars in a blazing horizon. 

As I stared at myself I saw a shadow of my old self, the only difference being the look my eyes reflected. I doubted I would ever see the old flame that had once shone brightly in them before. 

I heard a knock on the door and watched as Reika entered with a set of combs and hair utensils. I supposed I might as well let them do my hair. At least I could wear men’s clothing. 

They brushed my hair and ran warm oil through parts of it, leaving the smell of citrus and rosehips around me as they did so. They took my sides and brought them back in a ponytail atop my head in which they placed hair pins of gold and copper maple leaves with dangling beaded orange garnets, rubies, citrine and opal gems. I looked like some mythological creature from one of Kagome’s manga. 

I stood up and slid on a pair of geta which felt rather odd after months of running around the castle in nothing but my tabi. I walked into my sitting room and found myself the center of attention. 

It was hard to not fidget as I stood there and looked down at my son who now wore a fine hakama set similar to his fathers but in a beautiful shade of deep blue that in Kagome’s time was called Navy Blue, something to do with uniforms and sailors…I don’t know much about the colors name origin but I did know that it had become a favorite color of my son and it looked wonderful on him. His eyes seemed to glow against the dark color along with his silvery locks. His hair had also been redone; His sides pulled back into a new plait behind his head, tied off with a sapphire encrusted string of sorts that also ran along his braid. He would be a prize mate for any who were lucky enough to win his heart; then again I was his birth sire. 

Chioka wore a kimono of periwinkle with a turquoise sash that trailed the floor behind her while silver butterflies flew upwards along her kimono, her hair done in silver butterflies encrusted with amethyst and turquoise stones to match her kimono. 

“Pretty!”

I smiled down at Chiouka and patted her head before looking over at my son who grinned at me and held out his hand;”Shall I escort you ChiChiue?”

I smiled and placed my right hand in his and held my left out for Chiouka who took it humming happily. We left my quarters and made our way down the hall and down a flight of stairs and into the main hallway where the loud sound of music could be heard along with the chatter of conversations. We passed many guards who stood at their assigned posts as we made our way through the long stretch of hallway. We came to the large wooden doors which had already been opened and propped in place by door stops and latches and passed by another set of guards as we entered the large ball room. 

What had once been just an overly large dining room that had seemed so vastly empty was now crowded and seemed so small. 

I walked hand in hand with my son and daughter through the crowded room passing lookers by until I saw the familiar fluffy boa of my brother, who stood in the middle of the room. Unlike last time he turned and saw me and beckoned me over. 

I made my way to him and worked hard to plaster what one could call a smile on my face. By time I had gotten to him I had the attention of all his company. 

“From the similarity in looks I’d hazard a guess that this is your mate and brother, Inu Yasha,” stated more than asked a tall youkai with honey brown eyes short tan hair with highlights of black through the top and a wide grin which showed off a pair of long canines.

“You have guessed right Lord Pacchiri,” Sesshomaru said with a stiff nod.

I stood beside Sesshomaru, my son and daughter’s hands still in my grasp. 

“I have to agree with the rumors, he has an unusual beauty to him,” The one who Sesshomaru had called Lord Pacchiri said as he followed my arms down to my hands and they stopped upon seeing my children.

“Ah, and these are your heirs! Quite lovely themselves aren’t they,” he stated more than asked once again. 

“My son Ryusei and my daughter Chiouka,” I said aloud and let go of my sons hand so that I would not embarrass him. 

This was his night, to show that he was soon to be a man, a dog; no longer a pup and yet I clung to him like he were a still one. 

Ryusei bowed to his father and his father’s peers and made a proper greeting,”Good evening.”

“He is quite the gentleman,” responded a demoness beside Pacchiri.

“I must agree my darling, should you wish it and himself not opposed I wouldn’t mind our clans being united with a pairing, although I think we would be getting the better bargain in this.”

I blinked and found myself surprised.

“Do not look so surprised Lord Inu Yasha. We of the Jackal clan look kindly on those of hanyou blood. It is new blood that makes our clans better in the long run, not to mention that both you and your brother already carry superior blood.”

I nodded and gave them a short nod. Chiouka yawned loudly causing everyone to look down at her. 

“I believe the Hime finds our conversation boring,” said the Jackal Lord’s mate with a grin.

I looked across the room and found a huddled group of children playing with various toys, “I’ll take her to play with the others; it’s been nice making your acquaintances.” I made a bow and walked away. 

As we neared the children Chiouka tugged on my sleeve and called out, “play?”

I nodded and she cried out in joy as I let go of her hand. I watched her run and join the others, not a shy bone in her body as she took the initiative and began to talk and play with the other youkai children. I stood there watching unaware of the party or other guests until I felt a hand on my shoulder. 

I turned and found myself looking into a familiar pair of cerulean blue eyes. 

“Long time no see, mutt face.”

I felt my mouth open and no words came out as I stared at Kouga in surprise. 

“That surprised to see me? I didn’t think I’d ever see you speechless,” he said with a grin and a chuckle. 

I closed my mouth and cleared my throat, even though there was nothing physical in it. 

“I never thought I’d see you in this castle,” I replied stupidly. 

“I’m mated to Ayame now so I suppose I’m considered safe to be near you, that and he’s marked and pupped you once more so there is no threat to him if I am near you.”

“I had a feeling you two would eventually mate,” I said with a smile. 

“Yes, mated and soon to be father. I’ll be in your place in May just remember me fondly, I have a feeling Ayame will kill me once her labor pains begin.”

“I doubt it, although…if Sesshomaru and I had been on better terms when I was birthing Ryusei I dare say he’d not have the equipment to pup me again.”

Kouga turned to watch Chiouka playing with the others, “So she was the one conceived that day…not bad, the two of you make decent looking pups but neither will compare to mine when it’s born.”

I laughed, “Already the proud papa,” I said shaking my head. 

“From your scent I’d say you’re soon to have another to fawn over.”

I lay my hands on my belly and turned to look at Kouga who seemed to see the sadness etched on my face and turned away again. 

“If it continues to get worse let me know. We’re not a large clan, nor are we very powerful but if you need our aide you’ll have it and I’m pretty sure you can say the same for your kitsune pal and the humans he stays with.”

I nodded and let my hands fall back to my sides, “How is Shippo?”

“The brat is engaged to that human girl he loved so…much. We have all warned him and he knows the risks involved and he and the girl…I think Tsubame is her name, are happily standing behind their matrimonial.”

“As long as he’s happy…that’s all that matters. Tell him that he can visit or write to me should he have the need. I can’t leave this castle let alone these grounds so something to break the monotony would be nice.”

Kouga nodded and turned to look over my head, a frown appearing on his face. 

“I should say my good bye’s while I have the chance. I think your brother has come to end our conversation. Remember what I said,” and with that I watched him bow in my direction and then turn to bow in Sesshomaru’s direction, though not nearly as deeply as he had bowed to me. 

I watched him leave and felt an ache in my chest. I found it hard to breathe. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up into my brothers stern gold eyes and felt my chest tighten further. 

“Did he say something to upset you,” he asked and I saw what I assumed was worry on his features. 

“No, I think the activity is getting to me. I’m going to go lie down, apologize to Chiouka and Ryusei for me,” I turned to leave and felt his hand squeeze my shoulder and then his breath was in my ear.

“Your Hakama looks nice,” with that he pulled back and I felt the tightness in my chest loosen a bit as I turned back around to look him in the eye. 

I nodded and whispered thank you as I turned and fled, afraid to show him my face, afraid of what emotions were now on its surface as my cheeks heated. 

 

To Be Continued…..

 

Sorry it took so long. Once again, thank you everyone who reads and thank you everyone who reviews. It helps keep me focused on writing. I almost deleted this chapter and started over but I forced myself through it. So enjoy. I gave up my Karaoke night at the bar to finish it but no worries, I needed a me night anyway. 

Hopefully more to come and maybe an update for Cornerstone before I start another fic. 

Kat


	15. The yearning to be near you

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 15: The yearning to be near you

 

I found myself entertained by the simplest of things as of late. Most often those things involved my daughter. 

Chiouka was always on the go. She made her way from one end of the castle to the other and I found myself following her, trying to find something enjoyable about this place I called a prison. It did me no good to sit around wishing for something that wouldn’t happen anytime soon. So I kept myself busy and entertained, which in itself was hard to do now that my eldest was in training.

A month had gone by since the party and as the weather continued to grow colder and the snow continued to fall in spurts I saw less and less of my son and his sire. I welcomed Sesshomaru’s absence but grieved at my sons. I wasn’t the only one who missed Ryusei, his sister seemed at a loss without her Oniichan and the servants and staff noticed a lack of his presence and commented more often than I did, then again I rarely spoke my concerns out loud. 

Chiouka grew by leaps and bounds and as she grew so did her intellect and thirst for knowledge. We’d take walks through the halls and she’d point to portraits and objects that had amassed and been displayed in the many halls and rooms and ask what or why or who and I’d try my best to answer. With each day she learned a new word or phrase and tried her best to impress Rin and Aoiyuki by using her new words and phrases. They too found much amusement in her intelligence and wit especially when she began to teach Hotaru her new words. The two together was a sight to behold. 

As the month of February lead into March and spring began to thaw the winter’s ice I found myself unable to do much other than sleep, eat and use the bathroom. 

The slightest task left me exhausted and more often than not I retreated to my room and under my covers. I would wake slightly when Chiouka climbed atop my bed, burrowing under the covers and coming to snuggle next to me in the very same position Ryusei used to; her head under my chin and nestled against my beating heart. As she weaned from Rin’s breast she also weaned from her as well. Rin was not upset nor depressed at the loss. She remained a nursemaid to my daughter and said she would gladly be there for my new pup when it was born. I held no ill will towards her and never would, it had been my own stupidity as well as Sesshomaru’s that had caused things to turn out as they had and even though the thought of it made my blood boil I pushed all ill thoughts and ill will aside and tried to stay positive for myself and my children.

I still had no idea where Sesshomaru stood in the scheme of things or how I felt for him. I was in no hurry to sort out my feelings or thoughts; I had a lifetime with the bastard. We were mates and nothing in the next few months would change that and we would always be brothers. 

I had no plans to leave any time soon. Kouga’s offer would always be on the table and I knew he would take me and my pups but would it be worth the war? No, never. I would not allow another to sacrifice what they held dear for my sake. No, I had seen too much of that as it was. No, I would stay with Sesshomaru until the time and need deemed otherwise, besides it would not be wise to leave this home while carrying. 

Another month flew by and my exhaustion remained and my body grew. As the snows ended I found myself in my fifth month of carrying and had the full attention of everyone but my missing mate who still seemed to be missing with my son. 

If I could carry his heirs the least he could do was acknowledge me while I did so other than his stupid hen pecking and knit picking. I continued my routine without him. Yes, my routine…Wake, bathe, eat, play with Chiouka, eat, nap, play with chiouka, snack, nap, eat and sleep. In between I found myself emptying my abused bladder. 

An abused bladder was not my only issue, the little critter found joy in pushing and shoving my innards around as if there weren’t enough room in there, leaving me stumped as to why. Neither Ryusei nor Chiouka had acted as though they were cramped until the end of my seventh month.

Chiouka enjoyed our play time and when I ate she too would eat. When I napped she napped and when she wasn’t tired Rin would kindly entertain her. The little one had much intelligence in her and I saw more of her father in her than myself. As she grew she looked oddly familiar and I realized she looked much like her grandmother, Sesshomaru’s mother. I wondered if the woman whom my daughter resembled would grace us with her visage again and as quickly as I thought it I wished I hadn’t. I had no need of her sarcasm or biting remarks, I had enough from the fruit of her womb. 

As Spring graced the castle with its warm breeze and bright sun I felt my spirits rise. I waddled through the castle now, I could not move any other way. I found myself large enough at six months to resemble myself at eight. I found myself wearing my old robes from late in Chiouka’s carrying period and seeing they were getting tight my maids had ordered a few sets of robes in larger sizes. I suppose embarrassment would have followed but I found myself not caring. Better to be big and well clothed than to be naked with my body exposed for all to see. 

In mid April a letter had been received from Sesshomaru himself saying to expect him back soon so the servants went out of their way to make the castle as saintly clean as they could, going as far as to prepare a meal to welcome both masters home. I found a nervous excitement deep inside and I couldn’t decide what made me more nervous, seeing my son after so long or my brother. 

As they readied the excitement grew and it only took two days after the letters arrival for the two to be sighted over the horizion. 

“Lord Inu Yasha! You must look out your window! The lords arrive from the north,” shouted Reika excitedly as she set my new set of yukata on my bed. 

I watched as she threw open the curtains and pushed the windows out, opening them and allowing a pleasant breeze in. I stood and waddled my way over to the window and stared out unable to see anything beyond the horizon. 

“Look closer lord, see…there,” said Reika as she leaned in next to me and pointed up a little higher. 

I followed her line of sight and that’s when I saw the familiar four legged figure of my brother in full demon form with an unfamiliar companion beside him. My breath caught in my throat as I watched them dance across the sky and clouds. They were indeed a beautiful sight and yet…it hurt to see it. My chest tightened and I felt my eyes grow hot. I felt the tears brim over the edge and quickly wiped at them in an attempt to be rid of them. 

“Don’t fret lord. It makes my heart swell to see him so grown as well. Just think, soon you’ll have another little one to care for along with little Chiouka.”

I nodded and fought more tears, taking deep breaths to calm my overwhelming emotions. 

“Come, I’ll help you dress. We must make you look amazing so that your brother has no choice but to comment.”

I allowed Reika to lead me to my full length dressing mirror table and stood there as she helped me disrobe and then redress in my newest yukata. I paid no attention to the fine embroidery only seeing the way the white of it made an ethereal light around me in the mirror. Making me look like some lost deity I wasn’t. 

When she finished she led me to my dressing table and helped me to sit on the cushioned stool, a heaviness that was all too familiar weighing my heart down making my physical burden seem even heavier. 

My son was a full demon, there had never been any doubt and now there never would be. He would become a great and powerful lord just like his father. The memory of them in flight hurt me more than it should have. You would think that hundreds of years of knowing who and what I am would have destroyed my longing to be full demon and it made me ashamed of myself to have them drudged up at my sons crowning achievement. 

I still had the jewel but it barely held any power currently. If it would regain its former glory only the future could say. It would be a mixed blessing if it did. I could do what I wanted in the past and make myself a full blooded demon but then again we’d have every demon from here to Timbuktu fighting to capture it. I closed my eyes willing the thoughts to vanish. No need to think on the past or even the far future, it would do no good in the here and now. 

I watched as Reika combed my hair adding incense and oil as she did so, her favorite smell on me had always been rosehips and any kind of citrus she could find and today it was lemon. It was hard to retreat into my tired depression with the refreshing smell of lemon around me and I forced myself to look up at the mirror as Reika chattered away glancing at me through the mirror smiling the entire time. 

“Your hair has grown even longer! Should we leave it down and allow the full effect of it to catch our lord’s attention; he does love your hair.” 

I saw my hair fanned out around me and I realized that it had grown pretty long. It was cool enough that I supposed I could allow the annoyance of it being down for once. I often kept it braided or up in a bun or hair piece in the hopes of keeping it out of Chiouka’s grasp. It seems she enjoyed my hair as much as her sire.

I nodded and cleared my throat, “Sure, I leave it in your capable hands Reika.”

She grinned widely and fetched a large sewing needle from my hair pin drawer along with a handful of glittering crystals. I watched as she carefully threaded and tied off a few here and there throughout my hair, not that it was really necessary. Pregnancy had made my hair not only longer but shinier and healthier than it otherwise was leaving it a curtain of moonlight in the daylight. With my wardrobe finished Reika helped me stand and then stepped back taking it all in as the sunlight silhouetted my body. 

I saw her eyes widen and then she grinned.

“You’re ready. Let’s go see Lord Sesshomaru and your son.”

And with that she walked to the door and opened it, holding it open for me like many of the servants did for royalty during parties. As I walked I felt anything but like royalty. 

I made my way down the stairs and felt the tension leave my body as I did so. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen me large with pup before and he would look the same…no it wasn’t him….it was my son. I was worried about my son. Would he still be my little Ryusei? I shook my head causing some of my loose locks to fall over my shoulder. As I came to the end of the stairs I found Kohaku standing there staring up at me like I was something he had never seen before. I watched as he shook his head and cleared his throat.

“I was just about to fetch you. Lord Sesshomaru is in the dining room with Lord Ryusei. They were worried you wouldn’t make it down.”

I gave a small nod and walked past him and made my way down the hall towards the dining room. Upon reaching the opened doors I found similar reactions to Kohaku’s as the guards moved aside and stood stiffly as I entered the room. I could see the dining table a few feet away but somehow it seemed as though it were miles. 

I stood there and stared past the others and found my eyes locked on Sesshomaru but soon found them forced away as I saw the figure next to him. The small baby I had birthed almost eleven years ago was no more, nor was the young boy who ran with the children of Sango’s village. He was no man, not yet…but he was a young man, a young man who suddenly stopped talking as he looked in my direction. 

It was as if all other sounds had vanished and only my breath and heartbeat; which thrummed in my ears, was all that remained. 

“ChiChiue…”

I watched as Ryusei stood up and made his way towards me and at the same time I made my way closer to him. We met somewhere in the middle and where I thought would be an awkward silence there was none. 

“Good god, no one said you were about to pop! Toosan said he wanted to return home sooner and now I see why. He doesn’t admit to it, but he’s quite the worry wart.”

I stood there staring almost eye to eye. He had gained height! Goodness, an inch or two and we would be eye to eye. A few more inches and he would be taller than me. He had his father’s height. 

I felt his arms encircle me and I felt muscles that had not been there before. The image of my little one was no more. 

“Come sit, ChiChiue,” he said as he took my arm and led me to the table. 

We came to stand next to Sesshomaru who at first looked surprised as he looked me over. I felt a small victory at that but it was short lived as my mind nagged at me, wondering what astounded him, my looks or my overly large pup filled belly.

I had barely begun to ponder it when the clattering of his chair broke my attention as he stood and hastily pulled out my chair for me. To say that I was surprised would be putting it lightly but I fought not to show even a hint of it. I sat down and allowed him to push me in. 

I had a plate set in front of me and I lifted my fork and began to eat before Sesshomaru even sat down. I pretended not to notice his hands playing with my hair, which was easy to do since the ends nearly touched my ankles and the tug was barely noticeable. 

“So has anything exciting happened while we were away,” asked Ryusei excitedly.

“Chiouka has begun to talk in sentences. I wouldn’t call them complete just yet but she certainly does enjoy giving her opinion in all matters. Oh, and she has decided that she now enjoys sharing my bed. Reminds me of when you were little although I believe she’s a bit more of a bed hog than you were.”

“How about the unborn pup,” asked Sesshomaru after he returned to his own chair beside me. 

“Growing, growing and moving,” I answered as I placed my fork free hand on my belly self-consciously. 

His eyes followed my hand and I felt uneasy as he stared at me. He seemed constipated with unsaid words and I didn’t know what to say or how to say any of the many responses that crowded my mind. So instead we remained quiet. 

Eventually his eyes returned to his plate and I to mine. Dinner continued on until all plates were emptied and we were filled to the point of popping, me more than anyone else. 

I listened to Ryusei talk about his adventures in the snowy mountains and his training and how he and his sire traveled the lands learning new techniques and styles of fighting. I listened while sipping gingerly on a well aged wine until my eyes fought to stay open.

“You’ll have to excuse your ChiChiue Ryusei, it seems as though he is exhausted,” said Sesshomaru in what I could assume was mirth at my expense.

“You carry a pup and then you will know just how exhausting it is.”

After I said it I realized I had been pouting. I would have cared a lot more if I wasn’t tired and achy, bloated and just a tad bit tipsy. 

To that I heard no answer and I made to look up but not quick enough as I felt my chair move backwards and then large and strong arms carefully pulled me up into a standing position. I felt one arm around my widened waist while the other held my left arm as I was guided out of the dining room like some well bred lady. 

I allowed it; there wasn’t much else I could do. My mind was muddled with wine and I was exhausted. The wine had succeeded in ridding me of my insecurities and in trade for my inhibitions. 

As I was led up the stairs I placed my right hand atop the one wrapped around my waist and gripped the one in my other hand tighter. 

“It’s your fault, you know,” I said slightly slurred.

As we reached the top of the stairs he responded, “What is?”

“My exhaustion, my drunkenness and my stress….and I could probably name a thousand more things so don’t even try to think of reasons that would make you innocent.”

“And why are you stressed,” he asked as we reached my quarters.

“I am not nearly inebriated enough to start that conversation,” I said as I twirled in his arms like a drunken ballerina until I came to face him, my back against the door leading in to my quarters.

He leaned in closer, until we were face to face in the literal sense, his breath warm against my cheeks. He wrapped his arm around my waist again before opening the door to my quarters and turning me about so that I was facing in the general direction of my bedroom. He didn’t so much as push me, more like march me into my bedroom; closing the door behind him. 

He led me over to my nice soft bed and helped me take off the outer layer of my yukata, leaving on my thinner under layer before helping me to sit. He lifted my legs causing me to fall back against the fine down pillows and then I watched him take off his own outer layer of kimono and hakama pants before walking around to the other side of the bed.

My pulse quickened as my mind frantically pondered his actions. 

Did he expect us to couple like I was in heat? I hope not. I was much too tired and too large with pup to actually receive any pleasure from it. Everything ached, I just couldn’t imagine coupling at this time. 

I felt the bed dip and then it shook as he moved beside me and then the sheet came up over us and I felt him pull me flush against his chest. My heart quickened at the sudden contact and as his hand came to rest on my overly large belly I could have sworn my heart now resided in my throat. 

His hand moved no further, it just lay there on my stomach which my once slumbering pup lay quiet now moved and kicked inside letting me know it was unhappy with my stressing. 

I moved my hand to rub my belly in the hopes of quieting him or her but found the need met by its very sire. He seemed lost in the movement of my pup and my belly and as the movement calmed and then ended I found my eyes too heavy to keep open any longer until there was nothing but the comforting warmth at my back and now wrapped around my body. 

 

To Be Continued….

 

OMG! Thank you so…much for all the reviews. I seriously mean it! Never before had I received paragraphs for reviews and I not only received one review like this but over ten if not more so…thank you! They really made my day and helped me to get through this chapter. More to come and hopefully more to please you all.

Kat


	16. I Do What I Have To Do

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 16: I Do What I Have To Do

 

I opened my eyes and felt exhaustion tug them once again closed. I blinked them open again and watched as my brother and mate stood by the bed and dressed himself in slow precise movements. Once he was fully dressed and looked once more the elegant lord of his lands he turned and looked down at me with a look of calm thoughtfulness. 

“Continue to sleep, it is early yet,” he said and without a word I merely closed my eyes and snuggled into what had been his pillow, pulling it closer to me.

It felt as though those simple words had a power to them but I knew they didn’t, I was merely exhausted and in no need to be awake. Let him leave and leave me to my own schedule. 

As I began to drift back into sleep I heard the door to my bedroom open and softly whispered words before I felt my bed dip once again under someone’s weight and then I felt the warm small hands of my daughter as she lifted the arm I wasn’t sleeping on and crawled beneath it, allowing it to fall over her along with my sheet as she snuggled against my chest pushing away her fathers pillow. 

I opened my eyes once more, just for a moment so that I could look down at her. I bent my head and placed a kiss upon her brow before closing my eyes once more and drifting once again into my dream filled sleep. 

I awoke and found brunch on my dressing table and my daughter gone from my bed and room. I sat up and made an attempt to struggle from my bed an inch or so at a time until I was on the edge and then standing. I stretched until the cracking sounds that come with old age were no more. I ate my brunch and then threw on a robe and made my way to the baths. 

I enjoyed a quiet day of wandering the castle, napping in the library after reading and then a quick snack of honeyed melon before playing with Chiouka and her now returned “Nisan”. I rested and relaxed as they played; Hotaru joining in along with two children who belonged to servants here at the castle. Dinner was served and not long after I made my way back to my quarters and fell asleep with my daughter snuggled at my front and my brother at my back.

That is how my days continued. It was a quiet happiness and for once one that I would not take for granted. 

My Seventh month came and went and with it my strength. I could barely stand to be on my feet and more often than not found sleep a faithful companion. I found myself waking to worried stares and Aoiyuki’s was no different. She was insistent when it came to checkups and constantly monitored my behavior and mood and any aches or pains were written down and catalogued. 

I fear I worried my brother the most. I found myself too tired to argue or disagree with his words or actions and most of the time simply gave in to even the smallest and stupidest of demands he made upon my person. 

It was on the day after my human night that I too began to feel concern for my health. 

The transformation had felt rougher than usual, the pain sharper and the transformation slower. The same could be said for the transformation back, only multiply it ten fold. 

No one knew of course and I preferred it that way. I didn’t like others seeing me at my weakest and even though Ryusei had seen me transformed before it felt different with his newly acquired status as a grown male demon. It felt odd thinking it in my mind but my body and emotions agreed completely, my inner self panicking at the thought of having another full demon in my presence while human. 

 

I found myself aching deep inside and my overly active pup pummeled my insides mercilessly causing me to stay in my locked quarters longer than I would have normally after the new moon. 

The pain changed as sharp stabbing pain began to center itself in my back and then grew to an ache around my middle. I didn’t bother keeping count; I knew what these pains meant. I was in labor and with labor it could be hours like with Ryusei or mere moments like with Chiouka. 

I walked my quarters, alleviating some of the ache and when the pains became too intense I knelt on the floor on all fours and rocked my body, finding that it helped me concentrate on my breathing, which made it easier to get through the contractions. I did this until the sun was about to set and then I realized the pains seemed more intense than I had experienced with Ryusei. They weren’t nearly as horrible or excruciating like those I had with Chiouka but they were odd enough that I thought it better to not handle them by my self. 

It was night and as I opened the door to my quarters I found the halls empty. Not a soldier or guard in sight nor the hint of a servant, most likely my doing. I had practically begged to be left alone on my human night every time it came upon me. I was pretty sure that Sesshomaru pulled all guards from my quarters and the surrounding areas on my behalf.

I walked a ways down the hall, stopping every few inches to gather my strength after another energy sapping contraction would strip me of any I had gained or regained. 

I found myself outside of one of the largest doors I had ever seen and knew I had found Sesshomaru’s quarters. I leaned against the door and rapped lightly on it. 

No answer came so I opened it and found well decorated and empty quarters. I could have wept in frustration but pain took hold of me once again and I found myself sagging against one of his high-backed chairs. 

As the pain lessened once again, I made my way to his bed in the next room. I collapsed on my side on his soft mattress and struggled to find a comfortable position as I thought on my next move. I lay there as another contraction took over my body and gasped, fisting Sesshomaru’s sheets hoping for some sort of release. It eased and I lay there sweating debating on whether I should scream and be done with it. I was pretty sure my agonized screams would bring someone.

Another contraction took hold and took the decision out of my hands as a scream was tore from my throat. 

I heard the partially opened door slam against the wall and hurried footsteps as the pain ebbed away. I felt a hand on my enormous belly and blinked a few times, clearing away tears of pain before I could finally see Sesshomaru’s worried face.

“Summon Aoiyuki! I have found him,” he commanded to whoever stood in his bedroom doorway.

His hands held my stomach rubbing soothingly; my back now fully on the mattress, as if it would somehow keep the pup within from abusing my body so. I couldn’t fault him for trying but I could dislike him a bit for once again putting me in this position. 

As his hands rubbed I gasped again, arching up off the bed this time. I grabbed at his hands stilling their movements, finding their movement even more uncomfortable during the contraction. It ended and I turned onto my side gasping into his blankets, letting go of his hands in favor of clawing up the fine material atop his bed. 

The shuffling of feet filled the room and Sesshomaru’s hands completely left my body as a smaller softer pair took their place. I looked down my body and found Aoiyuki standing over the bed and my lower body. 

“I am beginning to believe what your brother says about you always finding yourself in trouble, intentional or not,” she said in an almost serious and joking tone. 

I nodded with my head against the blankets and bed and let out a breath as my anxiety lessened with her arrival, “Couldn’t make it much farther, hoped someone would be on the same floo……..arrrrrrrrr.”

I gripped the blankets, my nails tearing little holes into them as another wave of pain rolled over my body. 

“Lord Sesshomaru, if I could ask you to leave the room for a moment. I would like to examine your mate,” Aoiyuki said politely.

“I suppose, even though you have taken over my bedroom.”

As the pain ended I gasped and forced myself to sit up and leaned against the bed posts, using them for support as I stood up. I took steps towards the door and almost made it past my brother before he grabbed my shoulder stopping me.

“Where in the world do you think your going,” he asked looking down into my wavering eyes.

“Going to my quarters, wouldn’t want you to be inconvenienced by the birth of YOUR pups!”

I hunched over in pain and felt him lean over his hands trying to sooth my pain as much as my pain hindered it me I harnessed it along with my anger and I growled and stood up enough to start punching and slapping at any part of him I could touch until the pain worsened and then I allowed him to lift me into his arms and carry me back to his bed. 

I was sweating and fighting for breath and through half lidded, tear filled eyes I watched him take a seat beside me. 

“Why must you take every comment to heart,” he asked in frustration. 

“Why must you be…….such…an assssss…………,” I arched up off the bed again fisting his sheets and felt another pair of hands at my hips slipping my hakama off before I saw and felt two pairs hands divesting me of my outer kimono layer.

“I need you to spread your legs Master Inu Yasha,” I heard Aoiyuki ask as I finally felt the pain dissipate. 

I did as asked and found my fundoshi removed and my kimono adjusted, the cool breeze on my body somewhat comforting; the hands that began to prod and poke and delve inside me not so much. 

“You are not fully dilated just yet but you are close,” she said patting my sides letting me know that I could close them if I chose.

“I am going to have to ask for my lord’s help in not agitating him further. The more agitated and stressed he is the worse the labor pains.” 

I turned on my side trying to find some sort of comfort, putting my back to both Aoiyuki and my brother. 

“If my lord wishes to help, massaging his back would alleviate some of his pain,” I barley heard her hushed whisper.

I closed my eyes and heard the rustle of clothing and couldn’t keep from jumping slightly when he placed his hands on my waist and worked his hands along my sides and then my back which his hands seemed to knead delicately and as pain once again assaulted my body his hands admittedly helped to ease it some. I relaxed against his hands as he stole the bite off the pain. 

I sighed and closed my eyes. I was comfortable at the moment but I knew all that would soon change. 

“How long does one usually labor,” he asked as I felt the bed give under his weight as he joined me on it. 

“Depends on the babe my lord or in your case the pup. Chiouka was a quick birth because it was hastened by our young lord’s fall and we had to force a quick birth or risk a still birth. I was never told how long our young Lord Ryusei’s birth took,” she said in an educational tone. 

“I had pains for about two days before other signs showed. I probably hurried his birth along by taking a walk,” I responded.

“Did that walk take place down by the Bone Cutters Well,” asked my brother.

I stiffened a little but nodded,”It did. If it hadn’t been for the mangy wolf Kouga I probably would have found myself in a bit of trouble.”

“So it was you birthing in the hut,” he stated more than asked. 

Why bother answering, he had pieced together what had happened that day. I struggled to sit up and felt his hands on me stilling my movement.

“I’m not leaving, I’ve got five pounds or more of pup trying to find its way out and I’ll be damned if we sit around a day more waiting for me to birth it.”

He removed his hands reluctantly and I moved so that I could come to stand beside the bed, “I’m going to pace your quarters a bit, please do me the favor of shutting the door to your quarters so that my nakedness is not displayed for all to see.” 

I watched as he stood and did as asked and I proceeded to pace his quarters. I went from his bedroom to his sitting room, back and forth stopping every so often to ride out a contraction and repeated it as hours flew by. His bedroom curtains remained closed so there was no way to tell the hour in the day, not that it mattered anyway. I was just waiting for the next pain to roll through and then end. 

A contraction rolled through me and left me kneeling on his floor atop a soft plush carpet made of some now dead animals pelt. It was then that I felt a gush of liquid between my thighs. 

“I think its time to check my progress again, Aoiyuki. My waters have just broken.”

No sooner had the words left my mouth that her hands were raising my kimono and her hands were once again on the most intimate of places. 

“Not yet lord, but you are progressing. I’d say within the next few you’ll hopefully be fully dilated.”

I growled in frustration, “I want this done and over with!”

I pulled myself into a kneeling position on that plush rug in the hope that gravity would pull the pup farther down and widen my birth canal. I knelt there and took deep breaths as I rode pain after pain. Aoiyuki watched me from a distance and I appreciated that. I didn’t feel panicked anymore and I wanted to be in control of this birth, I wanted their hands on me only if I asked and I wanted to be where I was comfortable and right now I had both wants catered to. I was pretty sure Aoiyuki sensed as much, and just as sure that Sesshomaru was unsure of what to do and just as fascinated by the happenings. 

The pressure suddenly doubled and I felt my opening strained as an intense contraction rippled across my body, I reached down felt a slimy haired surface and couldn’t stop the grin that bloomed on my face. 

“It’s crowning…,” I said a bit breathless.

I watched Aoiyuki approach and once again place her hands where one of mine now was. She smiled and nodded. 

“You can start pushing now,” she said as she stepped back a few inches. 

I did just that. I felt the pain leave giving me a small respite and as the next crested I breathed with it and pushed with any and all strength I had. I felt more wetness seep down my thighs and legs and knew it was nearing the end from what experiences I had with Ryusei and Chiouka.

“I hope you thought of some names Sesshomaru….I believe we should have a new pup in another set of pushes,” I said happy to have this pup and the weight gone from my body once more. 

I looked up and found him staring at me a few feet away watching me and my body as I pushed to birth our newest pup. I felt my body expand almost painfully so and as I brought my hands below my body I was just in time to feel the head of my pup slide right into my open hands. To say I was shocked was beyond words but excited and surprised were closer to reality. I pushed and bore down and felt flesh slide from my body and shoulders and arms take form in my hands. With a few final pushes it slid from my body and I now fully held a slime and mucus covered pup in my hands. 

I felt hands below my own and looked to find Aoiyuki with a towel wiping at my pups face and nose and she helped me turn it over so that any fluids could be cleared and as she did so a busty wail was let loose. I turned my pup over and looked down to find that I had another healthy son. I stared at his fine pale hair and tipped ears before looking down to watch as Aoiyuki cut the cord. 

I took the blanket and wrapped him fully in it and held him close. I took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of new born once again. I felt another contraction take hold and remembered that I still had the after birth to deliver. I held my son out to his father and watched as he gently took him into his arms. 

I closed my eyes and pushed into the contraction which seemed to gain in strength. I gasped as I felt pressure below that was not what one would expect of afterbirth and a bit more fluid poured from my body. I gasped and rocked so that I knelt on my hands and knees.

“Inu Yasha, what’s wrong,” Aoiyuki asked she came closer to investigate.

“I think there’s another pup…,” I said as the pain grew and I found myself pushing once again but barely making the impact I had with my first. 

“Lord Sesshomaru, have the guards or servants call for Rin. I’m going to need your help.”

I leaned on my forearms as I labored through another contraction and watched his feet shuffle past. I gasped as the pain sharpened and pushed with all the might I had into the next contraction feeling a deep ache in muscles that were barely used. I pushed hard into contractions twice more before I heard Rin’s entrance and heard the bedroom door close giving us privacy. 

“I need you to help him into a kneeling position again and help hold him there. He is exhausted and it isn’t healthy to have him laboring so long with the second pup.”

I felt his hands go under my under arms as I was lifted into kneeling position and held there by his strength alone, mine diminishing by the minute. 

“Concentrate Lord Inu Yasha! Push now, you can do it. Keep going. Good good…..”

She coached and I tried my hardest to do as she asked as I felt another head crown and begin to slide from my body. It was Aoiyuki who caught this pup and helped to ease…ahh his body from mine. She cleared his mouth and nose while he attempted to force a wail out from around her hands, his squalling much louder than his brothers. 

I felt my body fall back completely against Sesshomaru’s and fought to keep my limbs from shaking. 

Aoiyuki had already snipped the cord and was laying my second…no third son, in a basket of towels, wrapped in a blanket. He hadn’t approved of that at all and let her know quite loudly. 

Sesshomaru smiled, “He takes after you, just born and already quite irritated with his station in life.”

I would have replied but I was far past exhausted and I couldn’t get my limbs to work let alone my mouth. 

“Lift him once more my lord so that he can birth the placenta.”

I must be out of it, I wasn’t even aware that he had sat down so that I was laying in his lap which I was now being vacated from as my body was painfully jostled into a kneeling position once again.

I managed a few weak pushes before Aoiyuki assisted me by pressing on my only slightly extended belly causing my body to finally expel the afterbirth. She pressed a few more times making sure to expel anything large before nodding in my brother’s direction. 

I felt my body lifted and woozily watched as a blanket was laid over my body and then as scenery passed us by. I found myself laid against a tiled wall and heard rustling clothing. I was lifted from my soft blanketed cocoon and laid across my brother’s lap by himself as warm water was poured over my body. I hissed as it washed away blood and other fluids from my nether regions. He took his time in bathing me and although his ministrations were needed and felt good I found myself antsy at having left my sons in his room. 

He set me atop a stool momentarily, returning with a folded cloth and a clean fundoshi. I couldn’t hide my embarrassment as he placed the folded cloth between my legs to staunch the bleeding that came with childbirth. He helped me to stand and with the tying of my fundoshi before wrapping a clean yukata around me and lifting me into his arms once more. 

I was a bit more conscious now and was surprised to see my door pass us as he continued walking. He entered his quarters again and entered his bedroom.

Aoiyuki had already placed extra towels on his bed where the covers had been pulled back. I was lowered onto his bed and the added towels and once I was tucked in I was handed a clean newborn. I knew it was my firstborn because of his scent and state of cleanliness. I opened my yukata and brought him to my chest which was already beginning to leak in anticipation of my nursing pups. He took a moment to latch on and once he did he wasn’t greedy, he took his time to slowly nurse and enjoy the moment until he had fallen asleep. 

I saw a nest of covers beside me and set him in them. It was Sesshomaru who brought me my youngest and watched with fascination as I switched to the other nipple and yelped as my youngest took to my chest and feeding with much gusto. 

He drank more than his share before I burped him and handed him to his sire that placed him in another nest on his bed made of blankets. He turned and looked down at me after he was done and I blinked blearily up at him.

“Rest for now. I will watch over them. When you have rested I will have Ryusei and Chiouka brought up to meet their newest siblings.”

I nodded and closed my eyes. I felt his hand wipe my bangs from my face and lips brush my forehead and I felt an ache fill my chest at the sentiment as a slight pride and another emotion I wasn’t quite certain of filled me.

Such emotions usually kept me from sleep but I pushed all others aside and allowed sleep to claim me.

 

To Be Continued….

Sorry it took so long. I am going to update MOST of my stories. My next is Don’t Speak. So keep reading and hopefully I’ll have this updated by sometime next week if I can keep up this momentum. 

Kat


	17. The yearning to be near you

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 17: The Yearning to be near you

 

I awoke the next day happy that I healed quicker in my demon form than my human; as the pains from yesterday’s labor and birth were almost tolerable at the moment. I heard a newborns cry and knew that it was my younger son who seemed to prefer attention now rather than later. 

I opened my eyes and looked to my left and then my right realizing that the makeshift blanket cradles were no longer there. I closed my eyes again and opened them, looking around the room once more. 

I noticed a bassinette a small distance away and realized the cries were coming from it. I sat up and gasped falling back against the pillows that had been propping me up. Apparently I wasn’t that…healed. 

My newborn son’s wails grew louder and I struggled once again to slide my legs over the edge of the bed as slowly as possible so as not to jostle my poor body. I found myself sweating due to all my effort but I was no where close to leaving Sesshomaru’s bed. 

I heard the door open and watched as a stoic looking Sesshomaru entered and went straight to the bassinette, lifting our now even louder sobbing son and made his way towards me.

I shifted and moved my yukata so that it now displayed my swollen and already leaking chest as Sesshomaru leaned down handing me our red faced and angry son, his would be cherubic cheeks pinched in anger at having been denied his meal. 

He latched on heartily; his lusty suckling could be heard throughout the room which caused a chuckled to pass through his sires usually sealed lips. I looked up questioning.

“He eats like you as well,” he said with teasing in his eyes. 

 

I sighed wishing I could deny it, but I too have heard my eating echoed in the room, especially when I had eaten the “ramen” that Kagome often brought. 

“And is his brother much like mine, scowling quietly up at the ceiling with a constant look of constipation upon his face,” I asked sounding as impertinent as the question. 

To that he blinked up at me in an almost surprised way, before he could form a retort his afore mentioned son started fussing which became soft crying before Sesshomaru had reached the bassinette. 

I watched as he lifted his first born of the two from the bassinette and cradle him to his chest, careful to support his head as he held him and made his way over to the bed. 

“These two are as different as the two of us,” I said shaking my head amused and slightly confused by the oddness. 

I looked down at my nursing son, and noted his pointed ears and pale moonlight touched hair, so much like mine in its coloring but much like his sires in texture and straightness. He had markings along his eyelashes much like his sires, reminding me of the slight makeup a geisha or kabuki dancer would wear along his or her eyelids. 

Sesshomaru made a place for himself on his bed which I have at the moment commandeered, and brought the younger of the two closer so that I could look him over.

I wasn’t surprised to see that they were identical in looks and then I found myself happy at their different personalities, glad to have a difference in the two. 

“We should name them,” Sesshomaru said and I looked into his emotionless face and looked down at the newborn he held and then the one still noisily nursing at my chest. 

“Any ideas,” I asked. 

“I named our daughter,” he said and I nodded getting the gist of what he was saying. 

“We could call him quiet and this one loud,” I said almost jokingly.

“There are many names that mean quiet and loud, perhaps we can extend on that a bit, give them something a bit more…regal….or elegant…,” he said searching for words that I could only assume he thought wouldn’t harm my sensibilities and pride. 

“Okay…and….I’m drawing a blank…,” I said looking back at him. 

He rolled his eyes and looked down at my loud suckling pup before speaking.

“They need something that enemies and allies will remember.”

“You make it sound like they would stay together after growing up; like they will never separate,” I said somewhat surprised.

“You think they will separate after a time,” he asked.

“They are twins but that does not mean they are inseparable, I’m pretty sure they’ll mate and separate. I doubt that they will stay together throughout their lives.”

“Shall we make a bet dear brother,” he asked and I looked up finding the look on his face sure. 

“And what makes you so certain,” I asked as my “loud” son finally let go of my now swollen and sore right nipple. 

“It’s a rarity but twins and triplets do occur in the demon race and when it appears more often than not they form an invincible pair.”

I nodded and burped our son. It made sense, the demon world was harsh and allies were more than needed; at times they were necessary to ones survival so one could assume that multiple birth siblings did what was natural and became a team or group. 

The one with a higher number was usually favored. 

But even as the thought made me glad my mind would not keep my darker ones at bay. I had also seen what demon siblings became and many times it wasn’t pretty. Some became nothing more than sources of energy as older or stronger siblings devoured them and their power or simply killed them to have a higher position just like those in the human world. 

Others ended up like I had; a pawn or source of power and status in other ways. More often or not siblings; males who could bear young or females were married off to others to make powerful connections or bred by their siblings themselves for better genetics. 

I could only hope that none of those bad things would befall these two. I wanted nothing but happy futures for my children, I silently wondered what my brother; their sire, wanted for them. 

“Are you lost in thought dear brother,” Sesshomaru asked and I shook my head. 

“Okay, so we know quiet and loud, what shall we attach to them to make them proper names,” I asked as I lay “loud” down between my legs taking “quiet” from his sire, thankful to have my mind on something else.

“Death,” suggested Sesshomaru. 

“Overdone,” I replied as I held “quiet” over my left nipple, watching as he latched on and began to softly suckle.

“Storm,” Sesshomaru said aloud.

“Okay, not as overused… “Quiet storm” and “loud storm”...,” I thought quietly as our “quiet” nursed and “loud was lifted into his father’s arms.

“Well there is Hade and Urusaii for loud…I prefer Hade,” replied Sesshomaru.

I looked over at Hade as he lay in his fathers arms and thought aloud…”I prefer Arashi over Suto-mu so I guess we can combine them and get Haderashi, now what of his brother?”

Sesshomaru held Haderashi and grinned while he looked down at our yet unnamed son nursing at my chest, “Why don’t we stick with ‘H’ and use Hissori for quiet and combine it with Arashi for Hissorashi?”

“Haderashi and Hissorashi…I believe we can agree they sound appropriate,” I said as Hissorashi nursed at my chest contentedly. 

A knock disturbed our quiet and pleasant moment. Sesshomaru looked down at Haderashi and then at the door, as much as he abhorred people yelling or calling out he had no choice with his arms preoccupied with his day old son.

“Enter,” he called out as regally as he could which caused a snicker to fall from my lips and I had to bite down on my lips to keep more from escaping as he turned to look at me questioningly. 

The door to his bedroom opened displaying not one person but four. There in the doorway stood Ryusei, Chiouka, Hotaru and Rin who had an apologetic look on her usually smiling face.

“Sorry Lord Sesshomaru, they insisted I bring them, they were desperate to see the newborns, didn’t help that gossip flies thorough this castle faster than the wings of a hummingbird flaps.”

Sesshomaru went over to a nearby chair and sat down, “Come see your new siblings.”

No sooner had the words left his mouth than he had three eager faces looking down at the newest edition to the Inu tribe. 

Noting the blue blanket Chiouka pouted, “Boy…” she pouted even more if it were possible as the word left her mouth. 

“Sorry Chi-chan, you now have two new brothers not just one.” 

She turned her pouting face in my direction realizing that I too held a baby. Her pouting lessened as she looked from one brother to the other and I even caught a smile or two as she joined Ryusei in their cooing. 

The day went quickly and night came. I found myself alone in my brother’s bed wondering where he had vanished to. I slept well thanks to exhaustion, waking only to feed and change my sons. I had been given a small respite from Chiouka thanks in part to her older brother and Rin. 

This continued for a month. 

The time in which one spends with newborns and babies is often counted not by days or hours but in feedings, changing’s, burping’s and naps obtained by both you and the children in question. 

A month became two and two became three. 

The boys grew and with them so did Chiouka who had become quite the spoilt princess who took little or no interest in her brothers, opting to play with the young girls of the castle, servants daughters and younger siblings. She definitely had her father’s attitude as of late and I found my hands tied and occupied by her brothers so there wasn’t much in the way of action I could take and talking only got you so far. 

When I was up and walking with ease I returned to my quarters. I had considered staying in Sesshomaru’s room but he never seemed to return to it, whether busy with work or something else. I didn’t want to be a bother so returning to my own quarters only made sense. 

Chiouka who had returned with me was in a constant state of annoyance with the new attention suckers that were her brothers. Like most youngsters she was kind most of the time but at others she did little things to pick or bother her brothers. 

I worried. 

Rin who was now carrying her second child said that she had heard it was like that with most siblings when new babies were born. 

As a year came and went I realized that you can teach and show but you can’t change who or what a child becomes. I suppose I had lucked out with Ryusei, he always had been a pleasant child; not that Chiouka was unpleasant, just set in her ways of obstinacy and self love at the tender age of five. 

Hissorashi and Haderashi were amusing and Ryusei voiced a similar opinion, amused by their antics as much as I. The two were opposites and yet they could not stand to be apart. They were like magnets, so different and yet drawn to each other. 

I watched as Sesshomaru continued training Ryusei in the ways of demons and politics and I watched as Chiouka grew and became a little girl, no longer the baby or toddler that used to be so carefree. Under her father’s tutelage and that of hired demonesses she was being taught how proper young women acted and behaved and as I watched it I felt myself grow cold inside, afraid that when all was said and done she would be just like Sesshomaru’s mother. 

Sesshomaru had asked me one day while watching her at her lessons; why I seemed to be upset. I voiced my thoughts and he merely gave me a confused look and said that I shouldn’t worry overly much. 

A feeling of dread filled me. I realized that though I carried and birthed these children they were his heirs which meant that I could teach them all that I contained from birth until weaning and after that it was all up to him. It frightened me. I felt a fear similar to when I had first arrived in this castle. I was powerless. Powerless when it came to the raising and teaching of my own children. 

I quietly stewed in my anger and bitterness, careful not to change my demeanor or actions. Afraid what would happen if I did. 

I smiled and played and even managed to keep up a generally pleasant persona when with my pups and their sire; my brother, but inside I worried. Was this what all mother’s went through?

 

To Be Continued…..

Sorry it took so long. Managed to take an M&M sized chunk of flesh out of my right thumb with scissors trying to open a pack of frozen fish food while at work. Yeah…it was dumb, I admit it.

Sorry, it’s gonna get depressing again. But I promise it will be a happy ending. 

Kat


	18. Chapter 18: I do what I have to do

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 18: I do what I have to do

 

Ten years….It has been ten years since I was brought to the castle I now call home. Nine years since I birthed Chiouka…five since I birthed Haderashi and Hissorashi. Ten years trapped inside these walls while watching my brother and mate; Sesshomaru, come and go as he pleases along with my sons. 

The only view I get of the outside world is from my window or when foreign demons visit during balls and festivals that are held at the castle twice a year. I hear news and gossip from Reika and many of the other servants I saw everyday. I lived through their gossip and stories and found myself living the life of a desperate housewife trapped in a glamorous world I had never wanted. 

When the pups were younger I was preoccupied with their raising and teaching but now with the twins at five I was left to my own devices while they learned from tutors along with their sister. I spent my free time memorizing every room in the castle and with them every hiding spot, secret passage way and whom had lived in that room at one time or another. I learned every face in every portrait and whom they mated and if they were blessed with children what befell them. 

Once or twice Sesshomaru and I had coupled without my heat and more than once with the help of fine sake’ to give both of us courage in performing and participating in the act of coupling. It had been frenzied and awkward but in the end we both found release and in the morning he was always the first to leave the bed we had shared. 

I had my heat once last year and Sesshomaru had been away seeing to Ryusei’s training leaving me alone to ease the heats symptoms. I had managed and although it had been most uncomfortable and almost unbearable I had survived and best of all I came out of it with no pup growing in my belly. 

My happiness overflowed and upon Sesshomaru’s return he saw my overabundance of happiness and inquired its cause from Aoiyuki. 

When she had informed him of my heat’s passing he seemed lost as to why such a thing would give me cause for happiness. 

I ignored his confusion and enjoyed my time with my children. 

Haderashi and Hissorashi were much like Ryusei and were bundles of energy and full of questions. I walked them through the garden as I had Ryusei and Chiouka at their age. I taught them plants and animals and what were edible and what was not. I taught them to tumble and fall so that they could avoid injury and I taught them to spar. 

They sparred against one another and I allowed them to spar with me two against one only separating them to spar one on one if I saw something they needed to work on. 

Sesshomaru had been right; the two of them were inseparable and were a magnificent pair together. Haderashi was spunk and fire, brash and reckless but his brother; Hissorashi, was the complete opposite. He was cool and calm, calculating and precise. 

They were only five but they were full of potential. 

I was amazed at how stout and healthy they both were. Both had long straight locks of hair that we kept pulled back as best we could. Both had their longer bangs and sides pulled back into a ponytail behind their heads and pulled back into a full pony tail with the rest of their locks. We had tried many ways of confining their wispy locks; buns, a braid, full braids tight against their heads but none seemed to last throughout the day. By the end of the day we might has well just left it down for all the free hair and tangles they sported. 

Why waste time and effort and so our sons sported basic ponytails unless a festival or ball was held and then we would try to make them a bit more suited to the occasion. 

Chiouka was our little lady, she was always primping and dressing up, practicing with powders and paints to make herself beautiful. Sesshomaru told her at least once a day that she was a “natural beauty” and that she needed no paints or powders they only hid her true assets. Being a lady in a house full of men was hard for her and sometimes I hoped for another sibling for her in the hopes she would get a sister she could play with. She had Rin and her two younger daughters but they were not demons and she had a harder time relating to them, though dolls and dress up were still a favorite with the three. 

I sometimes wondered if Sesshomaru’s mother had looked like Chiouka when she was younger. I could see the coldhearted demoness in my daughters face when she seemed lost in thought and when she was angry but as soon as a bright smile bloomed across Chiouka’s small face the similarities vanished. 

Perhaps a harsh life had chased all the bright smiles from the lady’s face. I could only wonder but with her warning and part of her tale told I could see how one would lose their smile.

I had my pups and they helped me keep my smile and even if I were confined to the palace Sesshomaru did try his best to keep me happy, even if his best was part of the reason for my despair and unhappiness. 

Ryusei is sixteen now and becoming quite the young man. He has his father’s height and seems to grow another inch every time I see him. He resembles Sesshomaru in the face but he is my son in most of his mannerisms and his hair is a mix between the two of us. He has my thick unruly hair with his fathers coloring. He leaves his sides and bangs free flowing most of the time but always pulls his long locks in a high ponytail atop his head. He is a handsome boy and I am glad to see him with a bright smile always in place. 

His is also a bright. When he and his father are not away training he is often at my side. He shares stories of his adventures with sire and sometimes he sits beside me and asks me of my many adventures. I tell him as much as I can until a deep sorrow and longing fills me and it is then that I usually end our time by excusing myself claiming to be exhausted. 

I am sure I am fooling no one. I usually retire to my quiet quarters and my bed and curl in on myself trying to bury deep the need to be free and outside the palace I have found myself trapped in. With my knees to my chest sometimes I allow myself a few tears a moment of weakness before I pull myself together and force myself to clean my face and to stand tall with my head held high. 

Never let him see you down. Never give him the satisfaction, which is my mantra. That is what keeps me strong; and my children. 

 

And so it was I sat in my window seat in my quarters and watched seasons pass and with them another year and another until once again my heat fell upon me. Sesshomaru seemed to sense my heats beginning and called off his training session with Ryusei and when my heat was at its peak he lead me to his room instead of my own and there we spent a night in each others arms. He was passionate and gentle unlike the many other times we had coupled and as his body was once again tied to mine while his seed filled me I could only half heartedly wish it would end. 

I had become desperate for touch and his more than anyone’s left me feeling like some besotted fool even though I despised him for much. 

When morning came and he gently pulled himself from my body and left the room to clean himself I lay there missing his heat and presence and cursed my weakness. 

After three pregnancies it was almost too easy to tell when I was pupped but this time I felt nothing. I said nothing and returned to my quarters wrapped in his blankets, refusing to lose the remaining warmth and his scent he had left with me. I fell upon my mattress and slept a deep sleep. I woke in the afternoon and did as I had always done after a session of love making, I bathed in a the warm water filled tub provided by the servants and washed away thoughts, regrets and worries while surrounded in citrus and rosehips. 

All returned to normal and time and normalcy reigned as one week became two and two soon became three and I realized I was empty, there was no pup. This revelation surprised and befuddled me. To be safe I visited Aoiyuki who examined discreetly and confirmed my observation. 

To be without pup was a prayer answered but somehow it frightened me. Would I conceive again? Aoiyuki said I was healthy and that I simply hadn’t conceived this time but what if I didn’t conceive during my next heat, or the one after that.

I shrugged it off but deep in my mine worry took root and uncertainty. 

When Sesshomaru visited my chambers we coupled without reason, simply because he was horny and I was not opposed to his advances and afterwards as he lay breathless beside me I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before speaking aloud. 

“I am not with pup.”

His breathing halted for a moment and he sat up so that he could look down upon my face.

“I visited Aoiyuki and she says that all is well and that there is no reason I should not expect to carry next heat,” I said in as deadpan a voice as I could but he could probably hear the anxiety and nervousness in my voice and tone.

“We have pups to raise still; we need not repopulate the entire inu clan in one century.”

His words calmed some of the anxiety and I felt a weight lifted from my mind. 

The relief must have shown as his hands turned my face towards him so that his lips pressed gently on my forehead and then each cheek and finally on my lips. He pulled back and then attacked my lips once more with more vigor this time. He began another round of love making and I let him. 

 

To Be Continued…

Went through and fixed mistakes and spelling errors in earlier chapters and then resposted them on all but one site I post on. So now new chapter. My goal is to finish this fic so I can start on my two new ones I have rolling around in my head. One will be a sequel to Cornerstone and the other is an Inu Yasha and Kouga fic. So…yeah… So many fic ideas. Thanks for reading everyone~!!!

Kat


	19. Chapter 19: But I have the sense to recognize

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 19: But I have the sense to recognize**

 

Time flies when one is lost in routine. My children are growing up and it seems that I have not been blessed with carrying again. Five years more have passed and Ryusei is now twenty-one and still looks no older than sixteen. He has for the moment reached a stage where he will be frozen in time for a century or more. We almost resemble siblings but his face and expressions still hold such innocence to them and discern our ages to someone who looks close enough. His beautiful markings stand out bright on his pale face, his scarlet stripes along his jaw and cheekbones, his eyelids tipped in crimson like a skilled makeup artist that his genetics had blessed him with and the deep indigo crescent moon on his forehead that is almost visible through his bangs. Sometimes if he is sweaty and his bangs are pushed from his face you get a glimpse of the moon he inherited from his sire and sometimes the wind blows his bangs giving us glimpses of it like the moon hiding behind silken pale white clouds.

 

He is tall and towers almost a foot taller than me. I am amazed at his growth. Seeing him and Sesshomaru beside each other is a breathtaking thing and one that servants comment on quite often as the two seem to always be together.

 

I believe Sesshomaru is grooming him in the hopes that his eldest son will one day rule the lands and be a firm and strict ruler.

 

I have heard no plans for our younger sons though they want to be at their elder brother’s side and have expressed that wish repeatedly. He would have a right and left hand in them. They are only ten now but they have as much spunk as their older brother. They have begun a cruel game of teasing their elder sister and I intervene on occasion but she more than defends herself.

 

The two had tried to sneak attack her one afternoon and I couldn’t keep from laughing aloud after seeing she had scratched the word “idiot” on both of their cheeks. It had taken a little over a week for the ingrained word to fade due to the venom in her dainty little claws. She has come into her individual powers and Sesshomaru has volunteered his afternoons teaching her how to best use her would be deadly claws. He has mentioned teaching her to use whips similar to his own. I had no need to disagree, she is a lady that every male should envy and fear.

 

Chiouka is quite a sassy little lady at only fourteen and I cannot help but fret over her. She is more independent than me and twice as stubborn because like her sire she thinks herself all powerful and invincible. She will learn one day that she is not but until then I can teach her with the hope that she will learn from future mistakes and not let them bring her down but help build her up into a better individual.

 

She is a beautiful being and if only her ego wasn’t as large I’d be more inclined to tell her so more often. Her long locks have gained a bit of waviness to them and after having found a painting of my father I can say that her waves are a softer version of his.

 

She is never one to keep the same style for long and is always trying new things with her hair but more often than not pins most of it back behind her head to keep it out of the way when she spars or is practicing her venom whips; yes she has decided that she will be able to wield two instead of one.

 

Her eyes are like her fathers, so hard and steel-like in the exact almond shape. You add the crimson markings along her delicate eyelids and the single crimson line under each eye and her crescent moon in the middle of her forehead in that softer shade of indigo and I can’t help but see her resemblance to her grandmother.

 

To speak of the demoness seems to have conjured her. I have heard that she will be attending our New Years banquet this year, gracing us and those in attendance with her presence.

 

I cannot say that I am happy to have her in the castle let alone near me or my children. But as the winter snow blows and the days count down I know my happiness has little to do with what goes on in the castle.

 

Days go quickly for one lost in thoughts and as the day of the New Years eve fell upon us I found myself lost in the hustle and bustle of the castle; watching as servants rushed around like ants carrying things from one room to another and removing them in the same fashion.

 

Spare rooms were made ready for guests and fresh potpourri was set out with other dried blooms and incense to give the palace a soft floral smell. Rugs and tapestries had been taken out and dusted off in one way or another and the palace was filled with the scent of food and pastries as they cooked. I watched as the twins were chased by one of the young serving girls they often teased, their arms filled with mochi of some sort.

 

Sesshomaru was doing as his station required holding such a gathering in his palace and I had begun to realize he hated these gatherings almost as much as I did. He hid his dislike well is what you would think looking on his supposed emotionless visage but I had been with him for over fifteen years now and I am beginning to see little signs that give away his hidden emotions.

 

If you observe him quietly enough you can see his brows raise just slightly enough to know that something has surprised him. At times he will idly run his hands through or over his mokomoko letting you know that he is bored or sometimes even irritated. He has a small habit flicking his nails over his thumb when trying to contain his annoyance and sometimes he will clench his jaw just enough that it’s noticeable.

 

He has been in my presence too long or perhaps he has gotten more comfortable around me because I have even seen him roll his eyes and heard him sigh when the children have misbehaved or done something irritating or incredibly stupid and not just our children…I’ve watched him do this when reading missives as well. I sometimes chuckle watching this and he has given me that confused look with one eye raised in question and I continue chuckling.

 

He does not question and I do not tell him for fear he will correct his physical tells and I have enjoyed learning and watching for them for far too long to have him correcting them.

 

I watched him as he came towards me his hands fisted in his long furred mokomoko and his jaw set straight. He stopped in front of me and gently grabbed my right hand with his free one and pulled me down the hall and towards one of the empty guests bedrooms pulling the door closed behind him. He dropped my hand and pulled at his heavy robes leaving them on the floor before working on my own.

 

He was gentle and rough at the same time as his hands roamed over my body where it was now bare to the room. He leaned in nipping and biting along my jaw, neck and shoulders working his way down to my chest and nipples where he nipped and suckled leaving me gasping and mewling, his hands still divesting himself of clothing. Once we were both bare he pushed me against the wall so that I faced it and began nipping and biting my sensitive ears working his way down my neck and shoulders down my back and to my bottom. He massaged my bottom parting my globes as he slid down my body nipping at my bottom causing me to gasp and cry out.

 

Moistened fingers circled my opening, pushing inside and I shivered as he found my most sensitive part pushing against it purposely sending me into fits of shivers and crying out loudly, his other hand holding me against the wall while he pleasured me until I released against the wall crying out loud enough that any who walked by the room would be able to hear.

 

He removed his fingers and kissed my shaking bottom before nipping it hard enough to leave a mark and causing my body to jolt and shake roughly once more. I stood there fighting to stay standing and then he pushed deep inside of me my legs gave way and his strong arms caught my legs under the knees and held me in place and allowing him to penetrate me even deeper.

 

I shivered and shook in his arms as my overly sensitive body was once again assaulted and another orgasm began to build, his hips thrusted hard against my bottom and the sounds of pounding flesh filled the room along with my cries and gasps and his heavy breathing. He pushed ever deeper where pain and pleasure mingled and he went slow and steady and as my orgasm crashed over me and I screamed and dug my nails into his arms before lifting my arms and wrapping them around his neck and bringing his head down so that our lips could come together and he swallowed my cries as I emptied my seed onto my chest.

 

My cries ended and I felt him grin against my lips and then he started thrusting once more this time gaining speed as he walked us over towards a small cushioned chair as he settled my knees atop the cushions. My hands shakily gripped the chairs back and I felt him expand deep inside of me and then his seed filled my body and his mouth found the scarred mating mark he had given me fifteen years ago and he bit down gently, a growl escaping his clamped teeth as he did so.

 

It was as if the second orgasm had never ended as shocks of pleasure tore my third orgasm from me and I arched up as far as his body against my back would let me. His mouth parted from his mark on my shoulder and his mouth sought mine once more. We kissed and tongues fought until my shaking subsided.

 

He turned and settled us on the chair so that he was now lying across the cushions and my back was cushioned against his chest, our bodies still tied together. His arms wrapped around my body and I lay mine atop of them holding them in place.

 

“Know that no other will ever be tied to me like you are,” he spoke softly into my ear.

 

I stiffened in his arms and felt my eyes grow hot at his statement.

 

“Instinct has chosen well for me and I can say that this Sesshomaru is content with the life I am living now.”

 

He gave me a gentle squeeze and I held onto his arms tighter as so many things flittered through my mind.

 

“When spring comes would you like to go on a small journey? We could leave the pups with Aoiyuki, Jakken and Ryusei and we could see the sights, just the two of us.”

 

I nodded and cleared my throat, “I would like that.”

 

His words filled me with hope. Perhaps we could work, perhaps I would be able to earn his trust and be able to start going outside on my own again. It’s not like I would just leave, leaving behind my children.

 

He held me close and I felt him begin to soften and finally he slid from my body.

 

“I wonder if I can become pupped out of my heat,” I pondered aloud.

 

“We will have to find out,” he stated in a masculine tone that held promise as his arms wandered down to gently cup my flat belly.

 

They would have wandered further but my hands stopped them as I chuckled, “We have a large guest list of demons showing up sir to a party you decided to throw. So as much as I would love another round we both need a bath.”

 

I heard what one could only describe as a sigh leave his lips and I was lifted up in his arms and then set on the chair as he stood up and threw on his kimono robes and haphazardly tied them in place. As I stood up he wrapped my robes around my body so that no skin could be seen and then wrapped mokomoko around my body before lifting me into his arms.

 

I made a small sound as he walked us out of the room. I couldn’t see much but I recognized the hallways by their paintings. We came to stand in front of my quarters where my door was already open and the servants had just finished filling the tub with fresh hot water.

 

They all bowed in our direction, a few with bright smiles filled with mischief as the quickly left my quarters.

 

“Bathe and dress in the new hakama set on your bed and I shall see you tonight,” as he said it he set me down on my bed beside the new hakama set that was laid out so that the shades of crimson and white was a stark contrast against my dark navy blue quilts.

 

I watched as he turned and walked out of the room closing the door behind him and no sooner than he was gone that I had unbundled myself and stepped into the steaming hot water. In the winter the hot water went cold quickly so I made fast work of bathing. I made sure to scrub every inch of me with the soaps and oils left behind and even gave my hair a quick wash which was getting difficult to do now that the length was past my knees.

 

I stood and dried myself and then applied more of the oils left behind on my night stand so that I smelled of citrus and pine with just a hint of rosehips. I dressed myself in the hakama set and set to work on my hair. It hadn’t taken too long to brush it all out but even with fifteen years of having servants teach me how to braid and pull it up in stylish ways I seemed to still have trouble deciding what to do with my silver locks. I sighed and opted to leave the back down and braided the sides so that they wouldn’t fall forward while I was eating. I stood and looked myself over in the mirror and as I left my bedroom and came to stand in sitting area of my quarters I found myself staring into the smiling face of Reika as well as two other servants.

 

“Sit please, Lord Inu Yasha,” Reika asked.

 

I did as asked and I allowed them to torture me as they always did when it came to getting ready for parties and events. They always applied a light amount of charcoal around my eyes to help them stand out and today they had even brought out the crimson powder which they touched gently to the top corners of my eyelids making me look a bit more like my pups and their sire. I allowed them to add one snowflake decorated hair clip on each side of my bangs and begged their mercy to be left alone.

 

They all giggled but they freed me and then walked out of my quarters with me waving me off so that they could clean them. I took a deep breath and made my way to the large rooms we called a banquet hall. I was surprised to see familiar faces that seemed happy at my arrival.

 

Our guests Lord Pacchiri and his mate Lady Amira were here with two of their brood; a daughter and a son that looked to be the same age but I knew better. The daughter held a bit more power to her letting me know she was the oldest. Both siblings were tan skinned with their father’s bright coppery locks and golden brown eyes.

 

I bowed to them and then passed by them and came to Kouga and Ayame with their two eldest children; both sons with their fathers ebony locks and teal eyes. His eldest was a bit older than Chiouka and seemed to take after his father with a smile that was all grin and his long hair pulled back into a high pony tail. The youngest was younger than the twins and kept his hair cropped in a short ponytail that was pulled into a bob of sorts. He was shy and seemed to avoid eye contact but for his first big assembly he was doing well and I said as much as we socialized before someone else approached Kouga and began talking politics.

 

I excused myself and was about to make my way over to Sesshomaru when I saw her…

 

There in the middle of the room stood Sesshomaru’s mother and at her side stood a demoness that was a prime example of the females of the Inu tribe. She was dainty and pale complexion with soft gold eyes and curved stripes under her heavily lashed eyes with their true crimson marks and bright crimson lips. Her body was thin but she had curves in every place that counted and wore an elegant off the shoulder kimono ensemble.

 

Something about her made me hate her right from the start. She looked down at me as if I were nothing but dirt beneath her and raised her head and lifted a fan from her sleeve and opening it so that she could talk to me through it.

 

“I see you are the current mate. I will be sure you are gotten rid of when I become his mate. I can’t have him keeping trash like you as a concubine.”

 

I must have made a move because fear filled her eyes momentarily as I moved forward only to feel a hand take my own and gently pat it.

 

I looked up and into my eldest sons sympathetic honey eyes and calmed myself some. His eyes were usually the pale gold of a full yellow moon but today they were darkened by anger much like my own.

 

“It is nice to see you grandmother, though I cannot say I appreciate your guest or how she is treating my Chichiue or his station. It might be best you both leave our home if you’ve come here to incite anger and show your cruel streak.”

 

“And who are you to talk to us like this,” asked the manicured bitch.

 

“I am Ryusei, son to Sesshomaru and Inu Yasha and next in line to the Inu Youkai throne and you are…”, and even though he asked it politely his smile was almost cruel.

 

I found myself clinging to the deep blue of my son’s hakama fighting my anger, hoping to swallow it deep so that she would be unable to provoke me again but I was kind of hoping deep down that she would. Perhaps an actual fight would allow me to work out the stress now gathered between my shoulders.

 

“I am Lady Chinatsu,” she said as she lifted her head up further if it were possible.

 

I almost hoped her ego would weigh her down and her neck would snap under the pressure.

 

“Dinner will be served in the next room if everyone would adjourn there.”

 

For the first time ever I was glad to hear Jakken’s loud shriek from across the room.

 

As everyone made their way to the next room I watched as Sesshomaru approached and even from a distance I could see how tense his shoulders were and how anger glittered in his honey colored eyes.

 

“You were permitted to return her with the hopes you would act with some decorum and not bring some you claim to be my mate,” he said in a clipped tone.

 

“But Chinatsu should have been your mate not…” and she looked in my direction and I could feel my anger bubbling over as I clenched my jaw.

 

“We will not discuss this further. I ask that you leave at your earliest convenience and take Lady Chinatsu with you. If you refuse to do so I will not be responsible for my mate’s actions or my own. Am I making myself clear mother,” he asked as he stood a foot taller them, his aura itself bleeding anger and violence.

 

His mother sighed before she spoke, “Unfortunately I will concede this time.”

 

She and Lady Chinatsu left the room and I felt a chill make its way up and down my spine as they did so. Lady Chinatsu never lost her grin as she parted ways, as if she had won some great battle or found something really interesting but more in that cat and mouse way.

 

“Come Yasha, let us eat and appease our guests,” he said as he held out his arm to me.

 

Ryusei pushed me forward and I almost tripped but Sesshomaru caught my arm and steadied me. He turned and led us into the dining room. I had Ryusei at my other arm, sandwiched between two large Inu Youkai men; it must have been quite the sight.

 

I was lead to the head of the table where I sat on the left right hand side beside Sesshomaru, Ryusei sat to his left and there beside me on my left sat Chiuoka who was dressed up and enjoying a conversation with a lady from the tiger clan. The twins sat together near Ryusei and were behaving somewhat as they chattered together pointing discretely to various guests during their talk.

 

Food was served and everyone ate with gusto though I can’t say I was able to really enjoy the food or its taste. Lady Chinatsu still at the forefront of mind with a nagging feeling I would be dealing with her before it was all said and done.

 

Sesshomaru passed me a glass of wine and I drained pretty quickly and before I could think about it he had refilled it once more.

 

My cheeks warmed and I lost count of how many glasses of sweet plum wine I had enjoyed. At some point most of the guests had retired to their rooms and I had lost sight of Sesshomaru. I remember him saying he would see to it that the twins were tucked into bed and that had to have been over an hour ago. I stumbled somewhat to the stairs and clung to walls so that I wouldn’t tumble down as I traversed them. With effort and pure obstinacy I had made my way up the stairs and was walking towards my quarters when an all too familiar sound caught my attention.

 

I followed it clumsily until I came to stand at my brother’s door. I leaned in and the sound of an effeminate gasp and moan filtered through and I felt anger boil over. I opened the door and walked in without a sound as I came to the bedroom doorway I could clearly hear Lady Chinatsu’s moans and when I pushed the door open I could see her straddling Sesshomaru’s lap as she bounced in place.

 

My breath was stolen as I watched them and I could feel my heart shatter. My vision blurred as hot tears made their way down my cheeks and then the sadness became something I had known my entire life…anger; hot flashing anger that oozed from every pore on my body. I could feel my claws flexing and my vision grew tunneled as a red haze came over me and then it all went dark.

 

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

YAY! Next chapter later this week…hopefully.

 

Thanks for reading~!!

 

Kat

 

  

 

 


	20. Chapter 20: That I don’t know how

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 20: That I don’t know how**

The world around me was loud with talking and attempted hushed whispers and the air was permeated with the coppery and meaty smell of fresh death. I could feel that I was lying in someone’s arms and I struggled to open my eyes, finding them heavy along with the rest of my body.

 

“Chichiue…can you hear me,” Ryusei’s voice called next to my ear and I struggled to look at him. I opened my eyes taking in his worried expression which lightened some as I looked up at him. His face had a few scratches and I could smell the scent of his blood pouring fresh from his body.

 

I struggled to sit up and was finally assisted by the person behind me. I looked down at the arms that held me and saw a strong masculine hand with well manicured claws and it was then I noted the pale skin. I knew who it was before he spoke.

 

“Take care. You have been through much,” Sesshomaru’s voice said by my ear.

 

And as his words sunk in I looked at the chaos all around us. Crimson blood splattered the walls, and the bed that had once been covered in cream colored sheets and blankets was now covered in red that was already beginning to dry into that rusty brown that only dried blood had; or at least what was left of the bed and mattress that had sat upon it. Mattress stuffing and feathers littered the room and many were covered in crimson and rust.

 

Against the far wall lay what remained of Lady Chinatsu, her expression frozen in permanent shock and fear with her lifeless golden eyes starring out at the room. As I continued glancing around the room I saw one of her dainty arms by the far side of the bed almost hidden and another lying atop the bed. I could see a few fingers missing from the hand lying on the floor and I wondered what had become of her body. I looked up and realized a window had been broken and saw the bloody paper and shattered wood surrounding it and I was pretty sure there in lay the answer as to where her body was.

 

I felt my breathing increase as I began to piece things together in my head and I made the mistake of looking down at my hands which were covered in blood and other things and I struggled to stand. Sesshomaru held me tight against him but I fought him as I felt the bile rise in my throat. He let go and I ran over to the chamber pot and emptied what little I had eaten that day and upon seeing crimson and chunks in the regurgitated bile I vomited more, as if trying to purge my body.

 

I continued until nothing but dry heaves were left and my entire body shook from the effort to remain standing. I felt a gentle hand massage my back and I struggled until I had my back to the wall so that I could look over the room and its inhabitants while panic and hysteria began to fill my mind.  

 

“You are not to blame in this,” said Aoiyuki coming up beside me offering a warm damp towel.

 

As soon as I touched the white towel I stained it red so I hadn’t bothered using it for my mouth or face I used it to roughly scrub the blood and gore from my hands, trying my hardest to remove flesh from under my nails and trying not to make myself ill again as I did so.

 

“Lady Chinatsu is…was very good at spells and poison. She used her poison to make those she used it on into her puppets. She plays dirty and this time she chose the wrong pair of youkai to play with. She deserved her death so feel no pity or sadness at her demise,” Aoiyuki said as she took the dirtied towel and handed me another damp one.

 

I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks and watched as they landed on the towel tinting it pink, letting me know blood covered my face as well.

 

“I…I don’t remember any of it….,” I said as I felt myself falling apart from the inside out.

 

“It’s okay Muttface. No one blames you. You’re fine, your mate is fine and so are your children. Hell, you’ve gone and shown all the visitors that the Inu Youkai clan is not one to fuck with. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have official documents asking to be allied with you after this,” Kouga tried to joke.

 

As he said it I realized that Tessaiga lay in my lap in its normal form, safe in its sheath and it was then I struggled to remember the last time I had seen my sword. As I wondered its whereabouts it then occurred to me why it was in my lap and why I had no memory after my vision had become hazy.

 

I looked down at my still bloody hands and it all fell into place.

 

I had once again lost control and my demon side had taken control. And as memories rolled through my head of the past times my demon had taken control I repeated Kouga’s words softly to myself over and over again like a mantra of reassurance.

 

“Everyone is okay… everyone is okay…everyone is okay…”, but even as the words left my mouth I knew it was untrue. I wasn’t okay. I was far from okay.

 

I slid to the floor and brought my knees up to my chest and fought the urge to rock back and forth as the urge to break down became overwhelming. A scream bubbled in my chest as I gripped my knees; claws digging into my own flesh and as I did so I stared down at my still crimson stained hands and my crimson covered clothes and feet and all control was lost as that scream tore from my throat.

 

I screamed and cried and sat there lost in all the pain, trauma and uncertainty I had experienced in my life time until I could make no sound and all my energy was once again drained.

 

I couldn’t say how much time had passed, only that the only ones who remained in the room with me were Sesshomaru, Aoiyuki and surprisingly Kouga.

 

At some point I had collapsed onto my side as I stared out at the room and those remaining in it with no thoughts or emotions or sentiments left to give. For the first time in my life I was well and truly empty. I had given all I could and there was no more. I lay there silent and empty of tears wanting nothing more than to be somewhere else, anywhere else.

 

I watched as Aoiyuki approached and gently touched my head giving me a mixed look of pity and sorrow as she did so.

 

“My Lord, if you would be so kind as to lift him so that we can move him to my quarters,” she asked as she stood up grabbing Tessaiga as she did so and holding it close to her chest.

 

Kouga stood beside and looked down at me with not pity as much as sympathy.

 

“It seems you both have the situation under control. If you need me for anything just holler,” and he turned and left the room.

 

My view of the room was blocked by Sesshomaru’s blood stained clothes and body as he easily lifted me into his arms and adjusted my body so that I was held closely against his chest with one arm behind my back and another under my knees. He walked and I felt the barest of movements and watched as the scenery passed by until we came to Aoiyuki’s quarters. She opened the door and stepped inside leading the way for Sesshomaru as he followed behind.

 

She led him over to a wooden tub already filled with steaming hot water and a second beside it that was still in the process of being filled by servants who toiled by the fire place hanging fresh pots of water over the active flames.

 

I was sat on a stool and was treated like a child by the one I called mate as he undressed me gently before setting me in the first tub. I sat there in the water just staring at the goings on around me and said nothing; did nothing.

 

It hadn’t taken long for him to take action. I watched as he pulled the stool over grabbing a sponge and a nearby bar of soap. He dunked the sponge into my bath water and began the arduous task of washing my body from head to toe with just water and the help of whatever herbs and oils that had been added to the tub prior to my entering it. He poured bucket after bucket of water over my head and still the water dripped pink.

 

I was eventually pulled from the first tub and set in the second one and this time he lathered the sponge in soap and gave my body one more good scrub. His efforts were rewarded as the water was only lightly tinged pink and not the bright red of the previous tubs water and the coppery smell of blood was somewhat dulled by the smell of lavender and rosemary.

 

While Sesshomaru scrubbed my body I felt a small pair of delicate hands gently massaging my hair and I was pulled into a sitting position in the middle of the tub so that water was once again poured over my head rinsing away suds. Once I was deemed clean by both Sesshomaru and Aoiyuki I was lifted from the tub and wrapped in a thick cloth and patted dry.

 

I said nothing, I did nothing and I forced myself to feel nothing.

 

I was dressed in clean robes and placed on a small couch. Aoiyuki offered me a cup that lightly steamed and I just stared at it until she gently took my hands wrapping them around it. I looked down at her hands and at the cup and lost myself in the pale green liquid.

 

“Drink Inu Yasha, you need to sooth your throat,” I heard Aoiyuki say as she knelt in front of me.

 

I did nothing and finally rough hands took away the cup and placed it to my lips. I felt my lower lip moved as the cups contents were gently tipped into my mouth. I swallowed a few sips and was given a moments respite before the cup returned. This was done again and again until the cup was drained. When it was drained it was refilled with a new liquid which I was also assisted in drinking. This one had a bitter taste followed by mint but I drank it without thought and with Sesshomaru’s rough hands gently holding it to my mouth.

 

My hands clenched in a blanket that had been pulled over my body at some point. And with each swallow I felt a bone deep exhaustion begin to take hold of me.

 

When a third cup had been filled and then drained no other had been offered and as I sat there I felt the tears begin to build again as questions floated through my mind keeping me from the sleep my mind so wanted.

 

“What happened,” I asked almost too softly to be heard.

 

“I remember seeing to the twins and was about to return when I felt something on the back of my neck…”

 

I looked up and stared at the spot Sesshomaru indicated and saw a large deep purple bruising, it almost looked as though the flesh under the bruising had been eaten away by the poison or venom that had injected into his body.

“I remember feeling a horrible burning sensation and pulling a sharp little dart from my neck and as I turned around to see who would dare attack me I saw Chinatsu standing there with a large grin in place and then it all went dark.”

 

As Sesshomaru spoke his eyes held anger and bitterness and a deep look of regret.

 

“I awoke strapped down to the bed posts feeling weak as a newborn and she took full advantage. I remember lying there as she mounted me and the entire time she kept talking about herself and how she would make a wonderful mate and I just wanted to rip her head off…hers and mothers,” he said and as he said it the angrier he got and the more his voice dripped venom.

 

“I was stuck in my body witnessing what was happening but unable to stop it and then in between her prattling I heard the door open. I could see you from the corner of my eye and a killing aura filled the room and your scent changed.”

 

I looked up at as he looked down at his hands, “I had fought with you once before when your demon side had taken control so I knew what was happening but there was no way to stop it. I couldn’t speak or move, only watch as you came barreling at us.”

 

He looked up then and made eye contact with me, “You grabbed her by her hair and threw her across the room causing her to slam into the far wall hard enough that she left an indent and she spat blood. You looked down at me and growled. I watched and waited for you to attack and instead you clawed at the bed tearing up the pillows in your wake as if letting me know you could have attacked, letting me know you were angry.”

 

I nodded slowly as he continued, “Chinatsu jumped up and came at you and without even looking at her you grabbed her arm and ripped it from the socket and dropped in on the bed and as she screamed and started clawing at your back with her other hand, scraping venom tipped nails down your arm and back you turned her and held her arm in place and proceeded to bite her fingers off, spitting them out as you did so. When you had taken a total of three fingers you grinned at her with that long fanged smile and she spit in your face.”

 

A flash of memory was starting to form and I could almost see what he described in my memories.

 

Aoiyuki sat down beside me and took in a great breath, “We heard her screams throughout the castle. The first to arrive in the room was Ryusei. He was probably the most sober out of the men in the castle. I happened to arrive a few moments after him.”

 

“Ryusei untied the ropes holding me down and Aoiyuki tried to talk to you but Chinatsu continued cursing you and saying she would kill you and then she threatened the children…” and as Sesshomaru said it I had another flashback and this time I saw my hand grab Chinatsu by her hair and then rip her head from her shoulders. I hurled her body at the window and the wooden and paper shutters shattered with the impact as her body fell through and out the window and I dropped the head onto the floor.

 

“You are primal when the demon form takes hold and you stared at her with pure hatred, especially when she looked at Ryusei saying he would die at her hands and then you grabbed her by her long hair and fisted it in your hands until it was wrapped around your hand a few times and with a strength we had no idea you possessed you ripped her head from its shoulders,” said Aoiyuki with a shudder, “Before anyone could move you hurled her body at the window and then unraveled her hair from your hand before dropping her head to the floor.”

 

“I was free from my bindings but not from your wrath and you came after me. I defended myself and tried to grab you a few times but your anger was still fueling your demon so I was merely fanning the fire,” Sesshomaru said aloud and as he did I saw a flash of my long claws slicing into his arm repeatedly, looking to take his arm as a prize.

 

“Your son is either brave, insane or stupid or perhaps all of the above. He grabbed you from behind and kept whispering that you were safe and she was gone and it was all okay. He did this while holding tight to you while you cried out, roared and growled; your claws scratching and tearing into his hands and arms,” and as Aoiyuki spoke you could hear her admiration for him and his actions.

 

“Your struggling stopped and your eyes began to look almost normal and he loosened his hold on you and we were all surprised when you turned and looked at his arms and hands and began whimpering,” and once more her words triggered a memory and I saw Ryusei’s sad and confused look as I took his hands and started licking the blood from them, watching as some of the deeper cuts and scratches began to vanish and he patted my head saying ‘he was okay’.

 

“The crimson faded from your eyes and you held his hands in yours and then you collapsed and Ryusei caught you before you fell to the floor,” finished Aoiyuki.

 

My mind felt a little more at ease at the fact that my demon hadn’t intended to harm Ryusei and was glad for it.

 

I was exhausted and the teas seemed to catch up to me as I sat there on the couch feeling the heaviness of what had happened. The stress was still there with so…many others and yet they seemed to just be back ground noise as sleep once again pulled me into its dark embrace.

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

THANK YOU ALL!!!! I LOVE your reviews. Coming home and seeing them or waking up and seeing them makes me horrible day in retail so…much better. I LOVE how into this story you all have gotten. Sorry it took so long. Starting on the next chapter tomorrow night because tomorrow I have the dreaded Jury Duty….. -_- yup…stuck in a room with strangers watching bad movies. Here’s hoping I’m NOT chosen….

 

Well til next time.

 

Kat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21: To Let You Go

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 21: To Let You Go**

I woke in mid-afternoon snuggled on Aoiyuki’s chair wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. I slowly sat up, my stirring bringing Aoiyuki to my side. She had changed into a pale blue and silver kimono with pale blue hakama, her white hair pulled up into an intricate bun atop her head, allowing a few tendrils to slip free. Her ebony eyes held some worry but other than that slight worry they held happiness which reassured me.

 

“Good morning Inu Yasha. How are you feeling?”

 

I gave her a small smile as I moved to sit up. Nothing hurt and amazingly I felt lightness in my chest that I hadn’t felt in a long time. My dreams had been almost peaceful and filled with positivity and happiness. I had dreamed of the outdoors and traveling; seeing what lay ahead and as I did so I realized I was alone.

 

I knew what I must do…I knew that I had to take a break from it all, that I needed to be away from the palace and Sesshomaru and his politics if even for a short while. And as the conclusion came to me I knew it wasn’t a permanent answer, just one that would allow me a small respite and when I returned I would have to face Sesshomaru and my problems involving him and our continued relationship as mates and brothers.

 

“Is Sesshomaru around,” I asked startling Aoiyuki from her task of preparing what looked to be tea but smelled like medicine.

 

“Yes, he is in a meeting with some of the remaining dignitaries and leaders from various demon tribes and territories. He probably won’t be finished any time soon.”

 

As she finished her statement she came to me bearing a large cup of the tea like substance she had been preparing. She handed it to me and I took it sniffing it as I brought it close to my mouth. I must have given the cloudy green substance a look of disdain because she commented while I brought it to my lips.

 

“It looks ugly but I have much improved its taste so that you shouldn’t dislike it overly much. It is a necessary evil I am afraid. It helps to calm nerves and mend sore throats, though yours sounds much better already.”

 

I gave her a small smile and emptied the cup and held it out to her. She took it and came to fully stand in front of me.

 

“I know you are much annoyed and not feeling very well but I would like to give you a quick look over to calm my own frayed nerves. I would be most upset if you were still hurt or worse while in my own quarters,” and as she said that she made sure to take my hands in her own checking them tops and bottoms and then she worked form my arms to my chest and back and from my head to my toes.

 

“You are as well as expected young lord. Should I call for some food, you must be hungry by now.”

 

I thought it over and took a deep breath before standing up, “I think I will retire to my quarters for now but if it isn’t a hassle I wouldn’t mind having food brought there. I will have a bit to eat and then I think I will nap until the children are done with their studies.”

 

“I will have it done; perhaps I can see to it that the children have their lunch with you. I’m sure they will be most excited to have a break from their studies and time spent with you.”

 

“Thank you Aoiyuki…for…well everything you’ve ever done for me and our family,” and as the words fell from my mouth they had a finality to them that I couldn’t understand just yet.

 

“Lord…InuYasha, I do my all for you and your family because I want to. I truly care for you all; I want you to know this. So never feel like you are a chore or that caring for you is a chore or annoyance. I am always here for you.”

 

I nodded and left her room and then her quarters making my way to my own quarters. The smell of blood still permeated the hallway but not as overwhelmingly horrible as it had been the night before which told me they had disposed of Chinatsu’s remains and had begun cleaning Sesshomaru’s quarters and room.

 

Once in my room I found a clean hakama set out on my bed and I stripped out of the robe I had been covered in the night before and dressed in the bright crimson and white cloth left for me. It had been a while since I have dressed in my normal colors that it was almost startling to my self in them now.

 

Once I was dressed I ran a comb through my locks, just to rid them of tangles before returning to the sitting area of my quarters where I discovered trays of meat piled on my small table as well as extra plates and a covered bowl of steaming white rice. Reika smiled brightly as she entered with two other young female servants, she held a pot of steaming tea in each hand while the servants behind her held cups and napkins.

 

“Good afternoon Lord InuYasha! We are happy to see you up and about. We were quite worried you would sleep the day away. We brought your favorites from the kitchen. The old cook Miharu and her sister Mihane insisted only the best cuts cooked how you liked were to be served. Please eat your fill. I saw the young lords and lady Chiouka in the hall on the way up.”

 

I was glad Reika was who she was. Such energy and happiness was warming inside and out.

 

She grabbed a plate and sat it in front of me and one of her helpers set a tea cup next to the plate and filled it with a fragrant tea from one of the steaming pots.

 

“This is my special blend; it’s a green tea citrus mix. It’ll warm you and energize you. Please drink up and please eat. We need you to be hale and healthy Lord InuYasha.”

 

Ryusei entered the room followed by Chiouka, Haderashi and Hissorashi. I was engulfed in a family hug and found my eyes a bit warm as I returned my family’s hug as much as my small arms would allow me. I let go and they all stepped back except for my two youngest who remained in my arms grinning and babbling cutely about their morning.

 

“He let me hold a sword, a real one,” and as Hadrashi said it he bounced in my arms.

 

“Didn’t he Hisso,” and after he asked Hissorashi nodded enthusiastically at his brothers question smiling brightly.

 

“I see, well I am glad to hear that big brother Ryusei is teaching you. Remember to do all that he says and follow what he says so that you can grow big and strong and not get hurt,” and as it left my mouth they both nodded and hugged me tight before letting go.

 

“Come Hisso and Hade, I’ve made you plates,” Chiouka said as she sat down to tuck into her own food.

 

Both little ones cheered and sat down digging into their food with all the energy they possessed. None of us corrected them because all of us found joy in the little things and at the moment their eating habits were for us and no dignitaries or visiting guests, they were children and should be allowed to behave as such. I had allowed all my children this small pleasure while growing up.

 

We all tucked into our food though whether it was everything that had happened or just the quiet of in the room, I found myself lost in my pup’s happy and content faces as they ate; Ryusei with his now charming smile and Chiouka with her lady like grin and then my sons with the unfiltered and pure grins that only young boys from a happy upbringing could have.

 

“Too-chan”, his voice was quiet and calm but I could hear the questions in my eldest son’s voice. 

 

As I looked up and smiled at him I noted that all of the wounds he had obtained last night were now healed with no sign of them.

 

“It’s nice to have you all together for a meal that doesn’t involve some fancy party or get together,” I responded and then I took a large drink of the tea Reika had prepared for me and discovered it tasted a good as it smelled and made my smile larger.

 

I watched Ryusei consider my words for a moment before nodding and giving me a gentle smile and nod before leaning over to wipe rice off of Haderashi’s cheek.

 

I listened, sipped tea and ate my own food taking in the conversation around and vision my pups provided and felt myself very lucky to have these bright individuals in my life and yet a part of me needed a break…not from them but from the rest of it. To think it felt horrible and selfish…selfish enough that I couldn’t even think of verbalizing it.

 

And so I felt trapped.

 

Perhaps I could remain barren for just long enough for the twins to be okay for a small break from them and this castle. The thought seemed foreign and the time like a millennium instead of the few years it would be.

 

My eyes felt hot and I had to open them wide and blink a few times to dispel the moisture that had gathered in them.

 

“Come Hade, come Hisso…let us go see if Otoosan is finished with his meeting. Perhaps he can give you another sword lesson,” Chiouka smiled widely in my direction and then stood and came over to my side and placed a kiss on my cheek before walking towards the door. Hade and Hisso both ran over and gave me big hugs with those small arms and then followed her out.

 

I was left with Ryusei and though he was my child and he had seen so many of my trials and tribulations never once had I felt awkwardness between us like I did now.

 

“Too-chan, please stop beating yourself up over what happened. It wasn’t your fault. I wanted to be there to help you. I put myself in danger not you…you are NOT to blame!”

 

I nodded and let go of the breath I had been holding and nodded like some child caught being naughty.

 

“I just wish there hadn’t been a situation or a reason for you to HAVE to put yourself in such dangerous situations. Even when you were little you were headstrong and brave and put yourself between me and you Otoosan.”

 

I watched as he grinned and stood up walking around my receiving area, “You’re important to me. I know you can protect yourself but at the same time…I want to protect you.”

 

I gave him a watery smile as he came to kneel at my feet like he had when he was a small pup, but even kneeling he was almost at my height, showing how much he had grown.

 

“When Otoosan started training me I worked really hard to become strong and when he asked me why I wanted to be strong I stood on my wobbly legs and growled at him and told him that I wanted to protect you. He of course laughed in my face; the first time I had ever heard the sound of laughter from his tightly pressed lips. He said we were much alike.”

 

I smiled imagining father and son toe to toe after just beginning to know each other.

 

  
“I am not mature yet but I am no pup or child but even pups and children can see that you are close to a breaking point. I have talked with Chiouka and she is in agreement with me that you need to be free of father and this palace if even for a short period of time. I am sure that Otoosan sees it too.”

 

I was saddened that my breakdown was obvious enough to be seen and noticed and not as hidden as I had hoped it was.

 

“Go talk to Otoosan…if he denies your request for a break then simply let us know. We will help you escape and intercede on your behalf before he sends out a search party.”

 

I stood up and pulled my first born into my arms and held him there, thankful to Sesshomaru for the gifts that are my children. I let go and stepped back letting my gratitude and love show as I looked him in the eyes.

 

“Your father has given me many gifts but nothing compares to the gifts that are you, Chiouka, Haderashi and Hissorashi.”

 

“Before you can see the light, you have to deal with the darkness…or so they say.”

 

I grabbed Ryusei by his now defined cheekbones and brought his face down so that I could give him a small kiss on his forehead, “You definitely got your book smarts from your father.”

 

He gave me a boyish grin and began heading for the door. Before he walked out he called over his shoulder, “Or maybe I just learned from a watching my Toochan.”

 

I made myself busy by straightening my room and setting things right and I paced and thought, a thousand things running through my mind. I watched as the light began to fade into dusk and I made my way down to the dining room.

 

I found our home returned to normal as all guests vacated the palace and our lands. No sight or sound of Sesshomarus mother and was glad for it. She would return at some point but for now I had my victory.

 

We were seated and the food was served and as everyone tucked into the meal I couldn’t even taste it as I watched Sesshomaru from across the room. I admired his high cheek bones and his predator like golden eyes that seemed to delve into your soul and could leave you breathless in fear or arousal and I have experienced both many times over. I watched him blink long pale eyelashes and his bowlike lips and remembered the hurtful words had released like venom and then there were the honeyed words of love and lust and devotion said in times of passion during coupling. His long fingers that left me bruised and in pain but also brought so much pleasure and comfort.

 

He was mine as much as I was his and yet I needed to be away from him. Not forever…but for now.

 

Dinner ended and I was coerced into reading the boys a bedtime story and so I walked them into their room and settle on the large bed the two shared and told them a tale from the past about Kaede and Kagome. I told them of Miroku and Sango and of Shippo and of Kirara and of the evil a great land beyond a well. I listened to their soft intakes of breath and their tiny snores and I tucked them in and placed a kiss on each tiny forehead and quietly left their room.

 

I found myself face to face with Sesshomaru who had been standing outside their room and knowing him he had listened to the whole story from beginning to end as he waiting for me.

 

I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine and he held out his hand. It took me only a moment before I placed my hand in his and we held hands as he led me into my quarters. We made it inside before he pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. He held me there, his hands playing along my arms and back before he pushed the door closed with his foot and brought his hands to cup my face and brought his down so that our lips met and we shared a soft and slow kiss that become another and then another and then he kissed my cheeks, chin, forehead, neck and then that sensitive on the back of my neck while his hands held my head in his gentle grasp as I gasped for breath and shivered at his gentle kisses.

 

He let go of my face so that he could kiss his way downwards and as he did so he made quick word of removing any clothing that hindered his progress. He did this while slowly moving us towards my room, shedding clothing like a snake sheds his skin; leaving evidence that we had once been there.

 

We came to the bed and he used his knees to push me back so that I fell onto the bed, his knees trapping me in place while he stripped the rest of his clothes off and then he leaned over me and trapped my legs between his as he crawled onto the bed and continued to worship my body with his lips, tongue and teeth. He was gentler than he had ever been and each touch was like a feather across my skin leaving me a writhing moaning mess.

 

He worked his way down so that his kiss ended on the tip or my arousal and then that kiss became a lick and then a nibble and then heat engulfed me and I writhed and moaned like I had never had before and played my body like he was tuning a fine instrument; the final note being my scream of release. I shook and struggled for breath but he gave me but a moments respite as I watched him swallow and lick his lips like a dog that had just eaten the most delicious bone.

 

His eyes were delighted and predatory and I watched as he moved down further, his kisses touched the most sensitive of areas and I writhed as his tongue continued where his kiss left off and I was undone all over again. I felt one finger enter and I bucked and writhed against him as one became two and two became three and as I started chanting his name he removed those gentle digits.

 

The emptiness at the loss was short lived as he entered me, slowly filling me until I could be filled no more. He stayed a moment and then ever so slowly he removed himself. He did this until I writhed and began to toss my head side to side begging for more…begging for the release his teasing promised.

 

He leaned over me and began to build up to a faster pace as he licked the scar between my shoulder and neck where my mating mark resided and as my third release came upon me he bit down on the mark and my vision became white and I screamed his name until my breath was gone and then I shuddered under him mercilessly as he tied me to him and released deep inside of me.

 

When he softened we began a new round in a different position and after we were released we tried another and another until dawn came and I lay in his arms on my side exhausted and my voice a mere whisper.

 

“I will allow you to leave us, with the promise that you will return to us.”

 

As he said it my heart caught in my throat. It had been a while since he had referred to himself as “us” or “this Sesshomaru”. Had the thought of my leaving brought about this change?

 

I nodded and his arms that had loosened around my body tightened their hold and pulled me fully against his chest.

 

“We would like to hear the words from your mouth.”

 

I turned somewhat painfully so that I could face him, “I will.”

 

My voice was scratchy and soft but it was heard.

 

“You will….what?”

 

I rolled my eyes and lifted my arm to lightly smack his chest, “I will return, to you and to our pups.”

 

“Is that a promise,” he asked sounding like a pup which left me laughing at him as much as I could with my poor abused throat.

 

“Yes, I promise,” and after I answered he pulled me closer so that my head rested on his chest, just under his chin.

 

“I will come find you if you do not, you know this to be true.”

 

“I do,” and as I answered I knew that he would and somehow I felt happy about it.

 

Boy had my life come full circle.

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

Thank you~!!!!!! Thank you for your support, the kind words, the amazing reviews and the outpouring of awesome that you all have provided. I hope to eventually finish this story so I can work on the three other Inu Yasha stories I have planned.

 

I will try my hardest!

 

Kat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22: I don’t know how

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 22: I don’t know how**

Light filled the room and yet neither of us ventured out of bed. We lay there amongst the crumpled and wrinkled sheets that smelled of sweat and sex and we explored each other once more which then lead to me seated in Sesshomaur’s lap as he lifted me and brought me down so that he impaled me deep inside while he attacked my chest with his very capable lips and teeth.

 

“Are you…trying to… pup me…” I gasped out writhing in pleasure.

 

His deep golden eyes looked up at me and I moaned out my completion as he buried himself deep inside of me. I sat in his lap and fought for every breath while my wildly beating heart began to calm once more.

 

“If I do, you’ll come home sooner,” he said in a childish manner and I reached to wrap my arms around his neck and brought our faces close so that I could kiss his forehead where the indigo crescent moon stood out. I kissed the stripes on each cheek and the very tip of his nose and then ended with his lips.

 

His eyes stared into mine and his arms around my waist tightened and he closed his eyes and flipped his hair over his shoulder and revealed the bare expanse of his ivory shoulder and neck and then he opened his eyes so that they bore into my own.

 

“Mark me,” and the way he said it left no room for argument or confusion.

 

My eyes must have shown my shock and surprise because he gave me a small smirk and cleared his throat to get my attention again.

 

I nodded and leaned forward placing my lips between his neck and shoulder and kissed the spot before I opened my mouth and bit down onto his soft flesh and hardened my bite until the slight tasted of his skin and then blood hit my tongue. I released my jaws and looked down at my handiwork with a great feel of pleasure and pride. I leaned over licking away the little bit of blood that had formed and then I was pulled back so that his lips could connect with me and we shared a kiss that ended with a duel of tongues.

 

It seemed no matter what this male demon did, he always left me breathless.

 

He loosened his hold and I was lifted and laid down on the bed as Sesshomaru stood up and walked out of the bed room and into my sitting room. I heard the door open and his voice and then he entered again.

 

“I’ve ordered a tub to be brought in and filled and food to be brought.”

 

He said it and sat on the bed at my feet and I could feel the happiness rolling off of him. If he were a cat he would be purring.

 

It hadn’t taken long for the food to arrive and I was helped up into a sitting position and then handed a thin yukata which I donned before the two of us walked into my sitting area where food had been set out on my small table. We sat and ate a breakfast of rice and eggs and a few choice pieces of slightly seared fish. While we ate I alternated between watching Sesshomaru eat and the progress of the tub being brought in and filled with steaming hot water two buckets at a time.

 

While three servants helped fill the tub two others removed my soiled bed sheets and replaced them with fresh smelling clean ones. We finished our food and the servants left taking our empty dishes with them, closing the door behind them.

 

I walked into my bedroom and used the washing bowl left and a rag and filled the bowl with some of the steaming hot water and a bar of rough soap to lather a rag which was taken from me as Sesshomaru stripped my yukata from body and began to tedious job of scrubbing me clean starting with my finger tips and ending at my toes; careful and precise with every nook and cranny in the middle. I blushingly returned the favor until we both smelled of sage and citrus and our own personal scents and not of sweat and sex.

 

He stepped into the tub first and sat down before beckoning me in. I felt a moment of petulance, wondering how the two of us were supposed to fit into the tub provided but I discovered as I stepped into the tub and was pulled down so that I sat down between Sesshomarus legs with my back against his chest.

 

It was a bit of a squeeze but the water and the company were comforting and so I sat in the scented water and closed my eyes and lost myself in the feelings of contentedness.

 

We sat like that for a bit before Sesshomaru decided he would wash my hair for me and allowed him because his talented hands danced across my skull and ears causing moans and sighs of pleasure to escape into my quiet quarters. He rinsed my hair and I stood and motioned for him to turn around, he did as I bid without question and I returned the favor, scrubbing oils and soap into his hair and massaging his scalp before I rinsed his silvery tresses.

 

He stood and helped me up and we exited our tub and wrapped ourselves in drying cloths and when our bodies were dried we dressed and combed through our drying tresses.

 

I spent the rest of the day following him watching as he walked the grounds and joined with our children in their lessons and I watched him work on documents; signing, sealing and then having certain ones sent out. We united with our youngest two and played out in the garden with them, sparring and play fighting until dusk came and then we went inside and cleaned up.

 

We all gathered in the dining area for dinner and when everyone was settled and dinner had been served and everyone had eaten their first few bites I cleared my throat and when no one looked I did so again, a bit louder and found myself with five pairs of surprised eyes looking my way; not including the servants standing against the wall.

 

“I have decided to take a small journey on my own to visit some friends. I will be leaving tomorrow morning and will hopefully be back before the first snow falls.”

 

I saw the smiles on Ryusei’s and Chiouka’s faces and saw the worried looks on Haderashi’s and Hissorashi’s.

 

“I am not abandoning you boys. I’m pretty sure you will barely notice my absence because your father and brother will more than likely start taking you out to begin your training. Soon you will be like them and your sister and you will be able to transform into your magnificent Inu Youkai forms. When I return I expect to see your new forms and all the progress you’ve made in your studies. Make me even prouder than I already am.”

 

They gave watery smiles and nodded and I beckoned them to me which they did quickly and without hesitation.

 

I wrapped them in a big hug against my chest and leaned over so that my head was between the two of theirs, “I love you to the moon and back and for as long as I draw breath I will return to you, this is a promise you can hold me to.”

 

They both nodded and I held them tightly a moment longer before letting go and gently bopping their bottoms as I sent them back to their seats to finish their dinner.

 

We ate and as a special treat had sugary sweet chilled fruit for dessert. Everyone ate heartily and when we had eaten our fill everyone stood and began to go off on their own. I watched as Chiouka and then Ryusei went off in separate directions; Ryusei to the library where he seemed to study incessantly and Chiouka to the bathing chambers. She was as neat and tidy as her sire.

 

Sesshomaru and I walked the twins upstairs and into their rooms. I tucked them in and they begged for a story and this time Sesshomaru indulged them with a tale of he great Inu Youkai lord who had defeated any and all that had come to stand against him and how the lord had won the hearts of demons and humans alike and how the trysts had given him the gift of two sons and before there could be more to the story Sesshomaru quieted and we both tucked our sleeping sons in and vacated their room as quietly as was possible.

 

Once out of their room I was taken by the hand and lead into my own. Once we were past the door his hands and mouth were on me and danced a dance of desire and need as we refused to remove our hands from one another.

 

Somehow we managed to disrobe each other and I was pushed against my dining table and as his warm breath tickled my bottom and thighs his intent was known by my self and well received. I moaned and gasped and dug my claws into the fine food of the table as I rode out the pleasure his talented tongue wrought from me until it vanished and was replaced with his hardened flesh which pushed inside and pinned me between his hard body and the hard table, my stomach atop the tables surface. I was ravaged until my seed covered the table top and his was released inside of me.

 

I watched my breath fog the surface of the table and then I was I lifted with him still deep inside and I was turned so that my arms could wrap around his neck and my legs around his hips, which I could barely manage as my body jolted and shook in pleasure, past and present.

 

We made it to the chaise in my room and he sat with me in his lap and as his mouth attacked mine and our tongues dueled until we had to separate in order to catch our breath and he took that opportunity to attack my neck and the sensitive area just under my chin and worked his way down to my collarbone.

 

I felt his swelling lessen and I took advantage as I moved my hips in a rhythm like dance on his lap that caused him to cease the movement of his lips and throw his head back in pleasure and this gave me a surge in confidence so I added more movement until his eyes closed and I watched his throat convulse as he swallowed deeply.

 

He wrapped his hands around my hips as I danced above him and we both gasped as he hit that spot deep inside that caused me to see stars and flashes of light and my body tightened around him where he was buried inside of me. He took advantage of my momentary loss of control and began to thrust up and hit that nerve and since I was not one to be outdone I danced and gyrated my hips as we both fought for that pleasure that was building once more in both of our bodies.

 

It crested and both of us vocalized our release as it came upon us. I felt myself falling backwards but his strong hands held me in place, his fingers digging deep into bottom as I was filled once more with his seed.

 

He lay back and brought my pleasure wrought and boneless body with him so that I was lying atop his heaving chest with his arms coming up to wrap around me. I nuzzled against him so that my head came up under his chin my hands curled around his chest which glistened with his and my sweat. I took a deep breath and shook as a small orgasm overtook me as he loosened once more and slid from my body.

 

As our bodies cooled I began to shiver and I felt his arms tighten as he moved to sit up and stand with me nestled in his arms and against his chest once more. He walked us to my bed and gently moved the covers down from the made bed with his elbow and then laid me down and covered me up. He blew out the candles in the room and then joined me from the other side of the bed and under the covers and once more brought me against his chest.

 

I listened to his heartbeat and felt my own heart beat in time with his. As I inhaled his scent and listened to his heart I knew that I was going to miss his scent, his voice, his arms and his warmth. I was going to miss him. The revelation made me sad because I was going to be without him but it also made me happy because I had found love and it was returned and I was leaving but with the promise he would be waiting for me and that would make my homecoming a great one.

 

Sleep came and no sooner had I fallen asleep that I was gently awoken by Shesshomaru’s sweet kisses.

 

“It is time for you to wake.”

 

I nodded and sat up stretching my limbs before I stood up and was greeted once more with the old tub filled with steaming water.

 

“Reika is spoiling me,” I said out loud.

 

“She cares for you; a good deal of the palace staff does. So do not be so surprised that they spoil you,” Sessh said as he came to stand behind me. He leaned over and kissed my mating mark and then I turned so that he could kiss my lips.

 

“Now bathe, your clothes are set out on your bed.”

 

I watched as he left my room and then heard the door to my quarters close.

 

I sat down in the water and washed my body and hair and when I had deemed my self clean I stood left the tub and dried myself thoroughly. As I came to stand at my bed I found a bright red fire hakama set folded nicely on my pillow. I lifted it and discovered that it was a brand new firerat robe very similar to my original one, the only difference is that this one had beautiful gold and silver stitching that depicted beautiful white dogs soaring and running along the seams. It was beautiful and was a reminder or my family.

 

I dressed and looked at myself in the mirror before I took a deep breath and left my quarters. I made my way down the stairs and into the dining room where I was met by all my children; though the twins still looked half asleep and their sire.

 

“Come have breakfast and then we will see you off,” said Ryusei and I smiled brightly at him as I sat down between him and Sesshomaru.

 

We all dug into our meal of rice, eggs and thick broth and when we had all eaten our fill Ryusei stood and held out his hand. I took it and stood up and we made our way to the front doors and once through them I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. The bright spring sun shined down and it was like a beacon guiding the way to the gates of the palace.

 

Ryusei stopped at the gate and smiled brightly at me. I turned around and was handed a filled leather satchel by Chiouka.

 

“I filled it with a water skein, some dried meat, pickles, fruit and some other small necessities though Otoosan said you wouldn’t need much,” I pulled her into a hug which she returned in a very lady-like fashion.

 

The twins ran over to me and hugged me tight and held up two handmade necklaces with wooden and glass beads shinning brightly in the sun.

 

“So you don’t forget us,” said Haderashi while his brother nodded.

 

“I could never and would never forget you two or your sister your eldest brother or your Otoosan. You are ALL in my heart and now I will have mementos to hold close to my heart,” I responded as I hugged them tightly.

 

They let go and I kissed them on their pudgy cheeks and once more on each forehead.

 

“Be good while I’m away and be sure to learn and do lots so that you can show me when I return and be good for your Otoosan, Chiouka and Ryusei.”

 

I walked over to Ryusei and he wrapped me in a big hug and I could hardly believe this was the child I had birthed at the beginning of all this. My tiny son was a man.

 

“Be safe, Too-chan and have fun.”

 

I nodded and he leaned down so that I could kiss his forehead like I had done for his little brothers.

 

“Keep your Too-san busy. Make sure he isn’t too lonely.”

 

He nodded and I felt Sesshomaru come up behind me. I turned around and looked into his golden eyes that had once held contempt and anger now held the complete opposite. He stared at me in an almost lost sort of way and his eyes held what I could have called sadness and a bit of…love.

 

“Come back to this Sesshomaru,” he said and I grabbed his face and pulled him down so that I could kiss him. Our kiss was momentary and when it ended I grinned at him and winked.

 

“When I return we can share another and you can show me how much you’ve missed me.”

 

He didn’t say anything but nodded solemnly before I turned and walked through the gate and out into the open. I took a deep breath, and put the satchel over my shoulder and head and then stretched before I jumped up and into the highest branch of the first tree I saw and then from that branch to another as it all came back to me and the freedom overwrote just a little of the sadness I felt deep inside.

 

 

To Be Continued…

 

Thank you for reading and writing. I read ALL of your reviews and though I might have had to cheat and use google translate for a few of them; which let me say is awe inspiring and thrills me every time. Wow… I just can’t say how much I am thrilled that you all read and review. And even if you don’t review…THANK YOU for reading <3

 

Trying my hardest to finish this story, so I can work on finishing another, hopefully I’ll finish soon.

 

Kat

 

 


	23. Chapter 23: To let you go

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 23: To let you go**

The sun warmed everything it touched but no overly much. It was only Spring so the warm weather had just begun and there was a cool breeze that would blow bringing with it refreshing air and I was experiencing it like I had so…many years ago; outside in the open and on my own.

 

I was only four hours outside the palace gate and yet I had found myself heading to the one place I had known as “home” for many years. I had my sword at my side and it was almost like things had never changed, almost.

 

As I came upon the familiar woods I halted to a stop in front of the old wooden and stone well that had been the beginning and end of a grand adventure.

 

I jumped down from the tree branch I stood on and stared a moment or two before circling the well and as I did so I took a deep sniff; breathing in all the scents that surrounded it. It smelled of humans and local animals but her scent was not among them. Kagome’s scent had long disappeared from this well and this time. Perhaps in time I would see her again, maybe sometime in the future I could visit the shrine where she and her family resided.

 

I sat down at the well and let the memories take me away for just a few minutes and I smiled as I fingered the beaded necklaces that Hade and Hisso had given me. I sighed and opened my satchel, pulling the water skein out and taking a small drink. I sighed and stood up returning the water skein to its place and taking a sniff as the familiar scent of fox wafted through my nostrils. I grinned and stood up and started heading towards the village and Kaede’s old hut.

 

I came out of the woods and started following the dirt and rock paved path that lead to Kaede’s hut and saw that it was still standing and had even had a makeover. It was larger and had recently had its roof retiled. As I stopped before the building and looked at it a tall redheaded figure came walking out with a large grin in place that reached his deep pine green eyes.

 

It took me a moment to look him over and realize what I was seeing. The body was muscled and tall and the face older than I had last remembered, older than it should have been and in place of paws were human feet clad in boots and he was lacking his signature large fluffy cream colored tail, but I knew that face and smile.

 

“Long time no see, InuYasha.”

 

“I could say the same Shippo. You’ve changed.”

 

He grinned and before our conversation could continue a beautiful woman in her late twenties stood behind him in the doorway of the hut with a swollen belly, an infant in her arms and young boy at her side. The young boy resembled Shippo; with his deep pine green eyes and bright coppery hair which was up in a short ponytail which revealed slightly pointed ears. The infant was a young boy as well but this child was undoubtedly a hanyou child with his fox paw feet and a set of fox ears perched high atop his chocolate locks of hair with a pale cream colored tail fluffed out behind him. He too had his fathers pine colored eyes that looked at me wearily.

 

“InuYasha, its good to see you again,” said the woman giving me a beautiful smile full of happiness.

 

“Tsubame, my you’ve grown. I see you two have quite the family going,” I answered grinning happily at the two and their sons.

 

Shippo grinned, “We’re blessed in more ways than we can count. My eldest son is Hitomu and my youngest is Kouichi. We’re still thinking of names for our next. We’re hoping for a girl but as long as he or she is healthy then we’re happy.”

 

As Shippo said it I could see the joy on his face. He loved his family and he had stepped into fatherhood with a joyful happiness.

 

“Come in InuYasha, I’ll make us some tea while you and Shippo catch up,” she went inside and I followed with Shippo and his eldest Hitomu right behind me.

 

The inside hadn’t changed much. Herbs and plants of all sorts still hung from the rafters in various degrees of drying and jars of already dried herbs lined shelves and the floor around them with handwritten labels for most.

 

Kaede’s scent still lingered somewhat and it made my eyes hot to smell her scent once more and I didn’t bother to wipe away the errant tear or two.

 

“You can still smell her here. It’s pleasant once you get over the pain of her missing presence,” said Shippo as he sat down near the fire pit in the middle of the room where Tsubame was already boiling water for the tea.

 

I nodded and cleared my throat, “Yeah. I see that you are continuing her healing arts.”

 

Tsubame smiled and nodded, “I try my best. I learned what I could from her before she passed and she left lots of notes and books so that I or anyone after her could learn from them. Every so often Sango visits and the two of us discuss what we’ve learned and share new knowledge. I’ve also started training two young girls from the village so that the knowledge will be passed down.”

 

“Kaede-bachan would be proud,” and as it left my mouth I knew for certain she was. She had never bore any children herself but she had helped many and in turn the village itself was her child.

 

I sat down and closed my eyes inhaling deeply and smiled widely, “So you’ve mastered your kitsune test I can see and your skills are up there with some of the best Tanuki’s I’ve seen.”

 

Shippo smiled and nodded and closed his eyes making a sign with his fingers causing his current form to vanish and a more familiar looking Shippo sat across from me with his large fox paw feet and long flowing cream colored tail. He winked at his eldest son who closed his eyes and copied his father causing his form to also change except he was more fox like in appearance with his ears similar to his brothers high atop his head and instead of one tail he had two.

 

“The village is more tolerable than most thanks to you and Shippo having lived here all these years but since we have a lot of travelers and strangers in town this past year we thought it safer to take on as human appearance as possible,” Tsubame said as she poured the now hot water into the tea pot in front of her.

 

“Hitomu was a quick learner and as soon as Kouichi is a bit older he’ll learn just as quickly. I want them to be safe no matter where they are or what era. I’m teaching them as much as I can,” Shippo said as he patted Hitomu’s head.

 

“I can understand that,” and as I said it I thought back to my children and how much they had grown and learned and wondered just how much I should tell them of the future I had seen thanks to Kagome.

 

“Speaking of…how’re your pups. Last time I saw Ryusei he was about Hitomu’s age,” asked Shippo with a grin catching his eldest’s attention at the mention of my son.

 

“Ryusei is twenty one now and by human standards an adult but by ours…he still has much to learn and more to grow. I have a daughter named Chiouka who is becoming a beautiful woman before my eyes and I currently have twin sons Haderashi and Hiderashi who are a year or two older than Hitomu.”

 

“Twins!? Oh you poor thing. I thought having two boys of different ages was hard but two at once… I can only imagine.”

 

I laughed out loud at Tsubame’s words and grinned;”Oh, they’re a handful but they are amazing children. Every day is a new adventure. Now daughters…they’re a handful.”

 

I laughed at Shippo’s expression and sipped the tea Tsubame handed me.

 

“How long will you be in town? I was told by Kouga after Sesshomaru claimed you that we’d be lucky to see you again.”

 

I sighed and looked down into my tea, “I’m on a bit of a break at the moment. Things have been tough but they’re getting better. I’ll probably be out traveling until the beginning of winter. I’d like to see as much as I can before then.”

 

“You’re more than welcome to stay with us. Sango and Miroku should be visiting within the next week. They always come in the early spring and leave before Summer comes. As they’ve gotten older the heat can be a bit much and Miroku claims it’s cooler at the Demon slayer village,” said Shippo with a smile.

 

“If you don’t mind I think I’ll take you up on the offer. I probably won’t stay long because I do want to travel and see all the old places we’ve visited but it would be nice to see the village more and get to know your family.”

 

We finished our tea and then Shippo transformed back into his human form, Hitomu following suit as we stood up making our way out of the hut. I felt my satchel behind in my old corner and was amazed and amused that as we left Kouichi ran up and took my hand, holding it tightly.

 

“I think he would like to go with you if you don’t mind,” Tsubame said with a small indulgent smile in her youngest son’s direction.

 

“It’s fine with me if it’s fine with you and Shippo,” I said as I smiled down at Kouichi who had finally given me a small smile.

 

We walked through the village and I got a few odd stares here and there but most of the villagers had recognized me and shouted their greetings enthusiastically. Shippo grinned and continued to give me the grand tour, showing me the newest buildings and explaining the human arguments over land and lords that had been going on. Not much had changed, one lord passed away or was warring and another was taking over the land. Taxes were raised and they struggled here and there but they had luck and Shippo on their side. I was amused to see that they had even built a small shrine which was called the “kitsune shrine” to help bless their village. Shippo would do what could for this village and I knew that even when his beautiful wife passed he and his children would watch over this village for years to come.

 

We toured every part of that village and I sensed no evil presence and saw nothing that would worry me. Shippo had done a great job of protecting this village and I couldn’t wait tell Sesshomaru about it when I returned so that he could spread the word in the hopes that other youkai, especially those of the kitsune clan would find shelter in or around it.

 

The sky was just beginning to darken as we finished our tour on the very outskirts of the village and I had my arms full of the tiny Kouichi whose tiny feet could only walk so far. He was snuggled against my chest almost asleep and I was reminded of Shippo when he was a youngster.

 

“Let’s head back to the hut, I’m pretty sure Tsubame has outdone herself and made an amazing dinner.”

 

I had no doubt that Shippo was right and he had been. We arrived back at the hut and thoroughly cleaned our hands and feet before we sat down to a meal of wild bird that had been marinated in a homemade sauce, pickles of various types, rice and a nice broth and hot green tea. We ate our fill and I watched as Shippo played with his sons, teaching them a trick which they practiced and then he tested them seeing what they had learned and tweaking them as they did so. They settled down and soon Tsubame had lead them into their room and settled down for sleep. They offered me a room but I declined and settled myself in my old corner facing the fireplace.

 

I was handed two blankets and I folded one over which I sat on and the other I wrapped around myself. Sleep evaded me for a bit as I tried to get used to sleeping without my mates warmth or my children’s hugs. I thought of them and it warmed me and I closed my eyes, sleep eventually pulled me under.

 

The next day came and went and I spent a week in Shippo and Tsubame’s home enjoying their children and their company and even teaching them a bit about foraging, hunting and defending themselves and as the week was about to end we received news that Sango and Miroku were on their way. It seemed they had stopped at a nearby village to help and would soon be done and on their way.

 

Excitement filled me as I waited for their arrival.

 

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

Thank you for reading. I called out sick today so I was able to work on this chapter. I have already started the next so hopefully it will be finished before Friday… More coming soon~!

 

Kat

 

Notes:

Hitomu – Single dream

Kouichi – One happiness

 

 


	24. Chapter 24: A glowing ember

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 24: A glowing ember**

The sun shone brightly and everyone in the household was up early and full of energy. I tried to share their enthusiasm but I found it hard as my nervousness took over.

 

I probably had nothing to worry about but it had been over ten years since I had last seen my friends and travel companions and my nerves seemed to get the best of me at the moment. Tsubame made breakfast and I nibbled at it while the boys and Shippo ate heartily. Tsubame ate a small amount as well but from the look of her and the way she held her back I was betting we were going to meet the newest member of the family within the next two days.

 

I stood and stretched and watched Shippo and Hitomu as they headed outside to do whatever needed done this particular day while I quietly watched Tsubame bustle around the hut.

 

“Just let me know if anything needs done. I remember the days near the end of my Pregnancies like they were yesterday and sometimes a little help can go a long way.”

 

She smiled brightly at me and nodded, “Thank you InuYasha. I’m okay for now but if you wouldn’t mind taking care of Kouichi while I finish cleaning and getting things ready it would be a BIG help.”

 

I smiled and knelt down holding my arms out, “Come on squirt, how about you and I go exploring?”

 

Unlike the first time I met him, this time Kouichi smiled and toddled into my arms. I stood up hugging him close and tickling his tummy causing him to giggle and wriggle as I did so.

 

Tsubame grinned at us and waved as we left the hut and made our way out front. I placed Kouichi on the ground and followed him as he toddled through the grass, stopping every so often to play with some bug he found or a pretty flower that caught his attention. His little ears flickered back and forth atop his chocolate locks as he took in every sound around him much like I did with my own ears.

 

We did this for a few hours until a scent all too familiar hit my nose and Kouichi’s ears swiveled and his eyes grew wide. He turned and dropped his gathered flowers and ran and grabbed onto my leg just as the cream and black colored body of Kirara flew over us. She looked down and made eye contact before yowling and then turning around to land in front of us.

 

I leaned down and hefted Kouichi into my arms so he felt more secure and safe as I watched an older Sango and Miroku slide off of Kirara’s back.

 

“InuYasha! It’s great to see you. We had heard from Shippo that you and Sesshomaru had mated, we were a bit worried we’d never get to see you again,” Sango prattled happily.

 

I smiled and nodded, “It’s been a rough few years but I can honestly say I’m happy.”

 

At that I watched both of their solemn faces turn into smiles, “Well let us head to Shippo’s and you can tell us how you’ve been these past and how little Ryusei is doing.”

 

I grinned at Miroku and so we walked and talked and I started with when they had last seen me and what had unfolded. I told them of my beautiful daughter and my twin sons and how my oldest was now a young man who was being preened to be the heir of the Western Lands.

 

Sango smiled brightly at me, “It would be nice to see Ryusei and the others.”

 

“Well you can always visit or perhaps I can bring them to visit you. I would have loved for them to meet everyone but I kind of needed a break…”

 

Miroku gave me a genuine grin, “I can only imagine. We do on occasion get letters from Kohaku. He has said that we should visit. He and Rin seem to be quite happy working in the Inu household and he told me that Rin is expecting their second child.”

 

I was ashamed at the fact that I hadn’t known that they were keeping in contact. It was apparent that I really had detached myself from my surroundings recently.

 

I was broken from my thoughts as Kouichi wiggled in my arms excitedly calling out to his father who grinned and made his way over to us.

 

“Seems you both made it just in time, Tsubame said her waters have broken,” Shippo said with a sheepish grin.

 

I rolled my eyes and handed Shippo his son who was about to be usurped from his throne of youngest child.

 

“Well now we begin the waiting game, shall we catch up on news,” asked Miroku as he and Shippo wandered off to the small barn near the hut.

 

I shook my head as Hitomu and Kouichi followed them and was about to follow them as well.

 

“InuYasha, you might as well come in with me. It’s not like you haven’t experienced childbirth yourself,” I shrugged and followed Sango into the hut. She had a point. I had birthed four pups and perhaps one day in the future I would birth a fifth.

 

As the thought tumbled around my mind I wondered why it had not crossed my mind to check after my many rounds of lovemaking with Sesshomaru but before that thought could go any further I heard Tsubame’s moan and made my way to a place at her side.

 

It was different being at someone else’s birthing, every thing was a waiting game. Wait and help. I wiped her brow with a cold rag and when she was sitting up I massaged her back in all the places I knew to be sore and throbbing and gave her sips of cold tea that Sango had prepared, that would take the bite off the birthing pains. We did this until the sun began to set and it was at that time that I made myself useful by helping Tsubame into a kneeling position while Sango went around the hut lighting candles and oil lamps.

 

Tsubame was ready to push and the kneeling position helped, in no time I watched as the rounding of a head appeared and no sooner had it appeared than I watched Sango holding a newborns full head with coppery hair plastered to its forehead along with two beautiful wet and floppy fox ears and with two more pushes and a little bit of help Tsubame held a bawling baby girl against her chest.

 

Sango brought a bowl of heated water and herbs over and handed Tsubame a towel so that she could wash the mucus and birth fluids from her newborn daughter as she explored every finger, toe, arm and leg and right down to her soft coppery red tail that matched her coppery red fox ears. It hadn’t taken long for her to finish cleaning her little one and no sooner had she finished we made quick work of the afterbirth, cleaned her and the area and left her bedroom so that Shippo could enter to see his newest child.

 

We left them to their bonding and watched over their now sleeping sons while we sipped tea and talked into the late of night about all we had seen and witnessed.

 

I learned that Katsurou; Miroku and Sango’s oldest son was now the head of the newly remade village of youkai hunters and that he had already found himself a wife and was well on his way to starting a family. Little Hitomi was no longer little and was much like her mother, traveling and fighting off the bad youkai and aiding with the not so bad ones who simply happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

I was told that because of my presence their children and others they had gathered in the village had a new respect for youkai and hanyou alike. I wasn’t too surprised to discover that their village now housed a handful of hanyou, a few we had met on our journey looking for shard pieces.

 

Sango and Miroku had three more children bringing their total up to five in all. Sango had a set of twin girls the same age as my Chiouka and a younger son who was six. Their son had been a surprise but you could tell he was a happy one. The two of them were still lovey dovey and even more so as they told me of their twin girls Nariko and Nuriko and their youngest son Hiroshi.

 

Nariko and Nuriko were working on becoming shrine maidens in a town near to the youkai village with the hopes of one day building a shrine of their own in the youkai hunter village with their youngest brother as the head priest.

 

Hiroshi studied and trained much like his father had in order to be a member of the cloth and according to both Miroku and Sango; he was an amazing monk already at such a young age.

 

I slept well that night as I thought of my friends. They were all happy and living great lives and though in the future I would lose them due to their mortality I wouldn’t lose them completely…they would live on in their children and their life’s work. I would have Miroku and Sango’s children and their children’s children. I would make sure to stay in touch and visit and make my presence known and if I couldn’t do that I would at least watch them from the shadows.

 

Perhaps somewhere in Kagome’s future there was a place I lived with my children and their children and perhaps I still knew my friends great great great grandchildren.

 

Thought warmed me through and kept me smiling through the week of Miroku and Sango’s visit.

 

When it came to for them to leave I too packed my satchel, filled my water skein and said goodbye to Shippo, Tsubame, Hitomu, Kouichi and the newest addition; little Akabara. She was red haired as her father so Tsubame had named her “red rose”.

 

I left hopeful to see Sango’s village and children once more.

 

 

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

 

Thank you for reading~!! Long work week…I was given overtime and I’ve been exhausted so I’ve only been working on this chapter for a half an hour each morning but I got it done. Please enjoy. More to come soon!

 

Kat


	25. Chapter 25: Burning hot

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 25: Burning hot

 

Traveling was a joy that was hard to describe other than freeing. It was the ultimate freedom to be out amongst the trees and grass free of any sort of gate or walls. The sun was warm and the weather was warming up with the threat of summer in the near future. I enjoyed the warm sun and even looked forward to the hot rays it would soon produce. 

As we traveled I noted the few wrinkles that adorned both Sango and Miroku’s faces but noted they were the wrinkles that came from happiness. 

Wrinkles at the corners of their mouths from smiles they had given with the gentle beginnings of crows-feet around their eyes. Silver sparkled in their hair but hadn’t yet taken over. They were aging but I could say they were aging well and it hadn’t bothered me as much as I thought it would.

We had reached the village of demon hunters that Miroku and Sango had rebuilt and resettled and that I had at one time occupied. 

It was larger and the population had grown in the years I had been gone but as Kirara flew over and came to halt villagers of all ages gathered around us in excitement. I saw recognition in the eyes of those gathered around and was given an enthusiastic welcome. I found myself lost in the many familiar faces around as once again I was shown how short a humans lifespan was when compared my own or that of a pure demon. 

Before me stood a young man who was tall with muscle but his eyes were Sango’s and his grin was Miroku’s and I knew right away that he was Katsuro. 

“It’s been forever InuYasha,” he said with his wide grin and sparkling earthy eyes. 

“It has. I do believe that you and Ryusei could be the same height now. I find it unfair that you both tower over me.”

Katsuro laughed and scratched at a scar atop the bridge of his nose which still held its freckles and those across both of his cheeks. 

“I feel young again seeing you,” He said and as he said it I looked down at the two young ones wrapped around his legs and knew his was a grown man and no longer the quiet child from the past. 

“You shouldn’t, I see you have two fine young boys of your own.”

“If only it were two,” a beautiful young woman stated beside him.

She was a real beauty with her long ebony locks that shined like the wings of a raven, bow like lips pursed in an amused smile with her belly just beginning to show under her kimono with a young boy in her arms and twin girls at her side. 

Katsuro laughed and leaned in to give her a small kiss on the cheek, “Sorry my dear.”

He grinned at me, “Seems twins are in her family as well and thus far we were blessed with three sets and our little Kairi here,” he said as he took his lone son from his wife’s arms. 

“And where is Hitomi,” I asked looking around at the many faces. 

“She is her mother’s child and is currently out with her youngest sister and brother defeating the evils that plague our world,” said Miroku as he took the two boys from his son’s legs and gave them a large hug. 

I followed mutely behind Miroku and Sango as they made their rounds and said my greetings to those I knew and those I didn’t. Many stared at me with awe which was something I was unused to and even though I preferred it to horror or disgust it still took some getting used to and unnerved me a tiny bit. 

We had a large feast in celebration of new and old friends and the village celebrated and told stories of the past, of friends and family lost and found. I was asked to tell a story and I thought about which to tell and it came to me as I saw a lovely young lady clad in armor came to sit at our fire. 

“Once long ago lived a girl child who was born in luxury and wanted for naught, whose beauty and brains were envied by all but this girl child lived a sad and restless life. She was like a song bird in a golden gilded cage and all she longed for was freedom.”

All eyes seemed locked on me as I spoke and the young lady came to sit across from me, “This child became a young lady and this young lady had the heart of man as she taught herself the art of hiding and escape and so she put these new found skills to use as she flew from her cage. She explored while she had her freedom and saw new sights, learned new songs, new stories and ate and drank new food and drink. Still she couldn’t quench her thirst for freedom and always she was returned to her gilded cage only she shared her knowledge and happiness with the other caged birds.”

Children scooted closer and adults listened intently as I continued on. 

“A great scary four legged beast came to the land but he caused no harm and seemed only to explore and so the beast and the beauty met. They say that two souls can find each other and that they can join without a word needed and that is what happened. The beast became a handsome man of godly prowess and the young lady a great princess and though life had separated them, love had brought them together. Love is a great thing and brings great happiness and with their love the princess became ripe with child.”

I saw Miroku and Sango’s knowing looks and I pushed onward, “The Princess was promised to another and locked away in a hidden cage but her suitor a great warrior had found her and newly birthed child and in anger killed her while she used her body to shield her child of love. Her handsome beast rushed to her side wounded from a great battle and defeated her murderer before reviving her and sending her and their child out of harms way before he succumb to his wounds and died for his love.”

I stopped there and grinned standing up and dusting off my hakama. 

“Oh, please don’t say it ends there!”

“Please say there’s more!” 

Shouts from young and old called out to me as I began to leave the fire. 

“What happened,” someone asked.

It was Miroku’s voice that answered, “The Princess raised a fine son who was a mix of both beast and beauty and he became a great warrior who still lives to this day.”

I could feel the eyes on my back as I found the small hut given to me for my stay and retired for the night. 

As I lay down on soft furs and blankets my mind wandered back to my story and then through my own strange life and I found myself missing my own children and oddly enough my brother. I turned on my side and felt a strange tickling sensation on my cheek. I swiped my finger along my cheek and stared at the wetness there in the dark and thought myself foolish for the odd emotion that had brought the tears before closing my eyes and allowing sleep to claim me. 

 

To Be Continued…

Sorry for the wait everyone. My mother has been in and out of the hospital. It’s been a trying few months. So glad 2016 is almost over. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year~!

Kat


	26. Chapter 26: Burning Slow

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 26: Burning Slow**

I had spent a week in the hunter village and enjoyed the company of Sango’s children and their children’s children. Sango and Miroku were grandparents which was odd to think on and even odder to see.

 

Katsuro was Sango and Miroku’s oldest and he was always busy either with work or family and so I rarely saw him. Hitomi did return to the village while I was there and though she was the spitting image of her mother her personality was all Miroku’s and I was given a big hug when she saw me. She was a beautiful young woman with all the grace and poise of her mother with the cunning and honeyed words of her father.

 

We had gone to visit the shrine where Nariko and Nuriko, Sango and Miroku’s twin daughters were training to be shrine maidens under the tutelage of Miroku’s good friend. The two were much like Miroku with ebony locks and deep brown eyes but their looks were all Sango. It seemed a blessing that they had inherited their mothers looks. I kept that thought to myself but I was amused to hear Miroku admit it after he had introduced me to the girls who were nearly impossible to tell apart.

 

Hiroshi was still young and full of energy that only a six year old could have. Looking at him you could see Miroku as a child. His son was Miroku but with the innocence and happiness of a happy childhood with no tragedy. I hoped he would stay that way.

 

Katsuro was like Miroku in many ways but unlike Miroku he had married his childhood sweet heart young and they two were blessed with twin boys their first year of marriage; those were the two little bundles of energy I had first met wrapped around their fathers legs. Their names were Miyatsu and Mushin; Miyatsu after Miroku’s grandfather, Katsuro’s great-grandfather and Mushin after the monk that had trained and cared for Miroku after his fathers death. The two were ebony haired like their mother but possessed their grandmother’s eyes. The two were going on eight and yet they behaved very well for their age.

 

Katsuro’s twin daughters were all of six years old and also resembled his wife with her ebony hair and bowlike lips but their eyes were all his and reminded me of him with how serious they looked until they had begun to warm up to me, eventually showing me their playful smiles much like Katsuro had when he was younger. He had named his daughters Kikyo and Kaede and hearing those names caused my heart to swell in happiness and my mind to fill with memories of those they had been named for. When I asked how the names had come about I was told that they were named for the great priestesses and healers their parents often spoke of in their stories. As I saw the girls I couldn’t help think that ba-chan and Kikyo would approve.

 

Katsuro and his lovely wife had a second set of twin girls named Haruka and Hikaru who had only just turned four and the two reminded me more of Kohaku than Sango when I saw them. They had hair that was such a deep brown that it almost looked ebony and both sported freckles that seemed to cover their cheeks and the bridge of their noses. They were pretty little things and actually warmed up to me quicker than any of Katsuro’s other children.

 

Kairi the baby of the family who was about to be usurped from his throne in another four months was just as cute and easy to please as most babies were. Kairi seemed to take after his mother in looks and temperament. He would be a little heartbreaker when he grew up and I amused myself at the thought.

 

Surrounded by Sango and Miroku’s family and friends in the village made me miss my own and so I had decided that after two weeks of catching up and sharing all there was to share I said my farewell with the promise of letters and possible visits in the future I left the village once more with a full heart and thanks to their kindness a pack full of food, a full water skein and a mind full of memories.

 

I had no destination in mind, I simply wanted to travel and so I did.

 

A week had gone by and I found myself lost in the wilds of Japan enjoying the quiet and calm and oddly enough found it too quiet. In my younger years of wandering youkai had been everywhere but now it seemed as though they were all but gone.

 

I knew this to be untrue because it seemed as though more and more attended Sesshomaru’s New Years gatherings every year instead of less. Perhaps they had moved farther apart or perhaps the ongoing feuds and battles for land and title had driven youkai into deeper and more secluded areas.

 

Every so often I would find myself wandering into villages and when I did I would pin my ears against my head using my hair to hide them and some days I simply covered my entire head with either a hat or scarf.

 

In towns I would hear gossip and news about this great lord had won this battle and that great lord was in this battle.

 

Power, war, battles…it seemed Youkai and humans shared in common other than the love of family and friends the only difference is most demons lived long enough to learn that fighting didn’t solve everything. It seemed as though humans were desperate to throw themselves into battle and more often than not, death. Such short lives shortened even further for land and power.

 

The tension in the air was thick in the villages and towns and I didn’t stay long and as soon as I found the cover of woods and forests I took off into them instead of following the trails and dirt roads that lead from town to town. The anxiety was palatable on the air and the best way to avoid it was to escape mankind and all that was closely connected to it. As I traveled and the weather became hotter I could smell the salt in the distance and decided to follow the scent and as I did so it became stronger until I found myself at the shore.

 

It had been a long time since I had found myself on the soft white sand starring out into the blue salty sea while the calls of sea birds echoed in the sky above. It was peaceful and calm and so I found walked along the beach until I had found an old abandoned cave dug into the wall of a cliff where brown earth met white sand.

 

I spent my first day on the shore gathering dried reeds and weaving them into a mat which became my bed along with a thick blanket was a gift Sango insisted I take with me on my travels. I was glad for it because the shore seemed just a tad bit chillier than I had remembered and my blanket kept me comfortably warm from the cool winds that came in with the foamy waves that crested the sandy shores.

 

The shore was peaceful and for the most part I seemed to be the only person in the area of my little cave. Feeling bold and smelling and seeing no one around I stripped down to my fundoshi and jumped into the cresting waves riding them, occasionally getting a mouth full of salty water for my effort. I played and jumped the waves and watched as fish swam in the deeper parts of the waves. My stomach growled but catching fish was a lot harder in the ocean than in smaller lakes and streams and I soon called it a lost cause only to be pleasantly surprised to find the tides leavings.

 

I was left with a buffet of clams and oysters and I had even lucky enough to find two decently sized crabs before the seabirds. I boiled half my findings and ate the rest raw and enjoyed my meal as my hair and fundoshi dried in the bright sun and salty air.

 

My poor hair seemed to suffer the salt poorly and stuck up in every direction as it dried. I finger combed it as much as I could and imagined Reika’s expression if she could see me now. Finding my hair a lost cause I simply twisted it and pulled it up in a high ponytail before I wrapped it into a tight bun. My belly was filled and my soul refreshed. I lay down on the sand in the shade and watched the waves crest and fall and listened to the birds and fell asleep on my straw mat at peace.

 

Morning came and with it I could hear the sound of shouts and laughter in the distance. Curiosity got the better of me and so I hid my ears beneath my hair, strapped Tessaiga to my side under my hakama and gathered my remaining items and walked the length of beach until I came to a part that was crowded by villagers helping to bring in boats and nets full of fish from the salty sea. Everyone seemed to be happy and joyous and villagers of all ages came to help. As I approached a man who was suntanned to a healthy brown with thick muscled arms and legs waved me over.

 

“If you lend a hand we’d be more than happy to see you fed,” and as he said it his deep ebony eyes shined with a pure happiness that I had seen in few people as of late.

 

I smiled back at him and shrugged, “Why not, I’ve got nothing to do.”

 

I planted my feet in the sand and bent to grab a handful of net and tugged bringing in a net that easily should have taken two or more men. I tried to play it down and laughed saying that “the waves” had helped but I had already caught the eye of many giggling women and cheering children who came to help pull the creatures of the sea from the net, sorting them into baskets.

 

I was amused at how deftly the children moved crabs and lobsters without a pinch or wound to show. It hadn’t taken long to pull in all the nets and I helped in sorting good from bad and handing nets that needed mending to the women and men who stayed behind for such tasks.

 

“Come my friend, we shall feast. I’ve been told that a traveling troop has come to our village. Tonight we will feast and celebrate the summer.”

 

I followed and as I did the muscled man continued to talk and I learned that he was a well known fisherman in these parts and was known simply as Hiko. When Hiko asked my name I told him Yasha and he grinned and said I was a “pretty one” and that he was “surprised I had such strength

with such scrawny arms”. I didn’t take his comment to heart and couldn’t really; I wasn’t about to tell him I was hanyou.

 

When asked I simply told him I was an apprentice monk, traveling on an enlightenment journey. Miroku would have been proud of my story I think. I spent the afternoon helping with menial tasks while bonfires were formed and lit as the sun set. The night came and a great feast was had by all with a quarter of what we helped to bring in cooked and served along with rice, pickles and fresh vegetables and the treat of seaweed; dried and fresh.

 

I enjoyed the taste of finely prepared fish cut into choice pieces and served with soy sauce. As we ate a group of musicians dressed in kimono and hakama in the same shade of pale orange arranged them selves on a raised stage and played for us on shamisen and flutes. The sounds were beautiful and haunting and seemed something only the oldest and most experts of musicians could play and as I looked up at those on stage I saw that they all looked extremely young.

 

Not only were they young but they were oddly beautiful or different. One man completely covered his body and face only allowing his golden brown eyes to show as he played the taiko drums in the background but no one really paid attention to him with the two young ladies whose long curling lavender hair and piercing blue eyes were matching and seemed to stand out in their pale orange kimono’s. As I looked them over I realized they didn’t smell human and yet they didn’t smell like youkai. I stared at them intently and tried to figure out just who or what they were as they played and before I could a lady with long flowing ebony hair tipped in forest green and the palest of green eyes that reminded me of a lime came onto the stage in a flowing pink and white kimono that had long pale pink lace that touched the floor and then some which she moved along the stage and then into the air in a flowing motion that left the crowd stunned in silence and I found myself drawing breath, like I had forgotten to actually breathe.

 

She was beautiful and her movements were ethereal and otherworldly as she entranced all those who watched her. Not one eye left that stage or her. When her dance ended she bowed deeply and coins were tossed onto the stage, which were collected by two rag tag children whom also had oddly shaded hair, a girl with bright red locks tied back into a bob along with a boy whose hair was a deep yellow also tied back in a similar fashion.

 

They performed another song as the lady left the stage and as the music played the smell of smoke became pungent and I looked up just as the call over “fire” rung out. Panic set in and it was then that men in full armor jumped out and began attacking the small village and its villagers. I stood and watched as the children from the troop crouched amongst the crowd of escaping villagers too frightened to move.

 

I jumped in front of them and gathered them into my arms and moved so that we were away from the crowd. There I found the ebony haired beauty looking grateful at seeing the two safe.   


“You guys should gather your stuff and leave this village, seems the fighting has found its way here.”

 

She nodded and I watched as she turned to run with the children holding her hands. I saw them run to the hooded man who nodded and I turned around and ran back into the crowd. Men with swords and armor cut down men and women regardless of whether they were armed or not and I felt ill seeing it. I couldn’t understand mankind in times like this and so I ran into the fray and tried to take down as many as the samurai as possible but I soon realized it was impossible. I felt an arrow pierce my shoulder and I cried out in pain and ripped it from my shoulder growling at the one who had loosed it.

 

He screamed and loosed another before I could reach him which caught me in same arm. I jumped onto him, knocking him to the ground and seeing that he was unconscious I left him. I turned around and watched in horror as the kind and muscled Hiko was ran through by a samurai’s sword. I growled and jumped into the air and onto the tiled roof of a nearby home. I eyed the samurai and was about to jump onto him when felt another arrow pierce my remaining arm throwing me backwards. I felt the shocking pain as my head slammed against one hard surface and then another and then the air left my body as I hit the ground.

 

I stared up into the night sky obscured by smoke and brightened by the red and orange light of flames as the village was burned to the ground and felt darkness pull me down; the smell of copper of blood and wood burning filled my nostrils and then something hard hit the side of my temple and I knew no more.

 

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

I was in a rut with this story and then the amazing LagunaL8 did some absolutely gorgeous fanart which you can find on Archive of Our Own. So I’m inspired again and kind of revamped how I want this story to end. Please stay with me to the end! This story is about to get a bit more drama filled.

 

Thank you for ALL of your reviews and kudos and favorites!!! I actually stayed up writing this just in time to celebrate my B-Day~! So here’s to an awesome birthday spent writing fanfiction~!

 

Thank you for reading~!!

 

Deityofdeath AKA Kat

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27: Deep within

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 27: Deep within**

I struggled to open my eyes as a fierce throbbing assaulted my head making everything fuzzy and the sounds around me muffled. I struggled to hear and see and moaned as the pain worsened.

 

I struggled to sit up and was helped to do so by a blurry figure while another shrouded in pale orange gently placed something against my lips. I felt moisture and I sipped greedily at the bitter moisture, glad for something to moisten my throat and quench my thirst. With my throat moistened I could feel other pains in my body and struggled to breathe and as I did so I felt a deep tiredness pull me back down and into darkness.

 

I awoke and stared up a swaying oil lamp attached to a thick wooded ceiling, casting shadows around what I could see was a small room but the swaying motion made me second guess that conclusion. I blinked and turned my head to the right and looked into the soft face of a beautiful woman with pale green eyes that seemed to stand out thanks to the deep ebony locks that fell around her face, framing it perfectly.

 

“You are safe as is the life you carry,” and as the words left her mouth I felt a pounding in my head as I tried to let the words sink in.

 

“Sleep and heal. You are well taken care of,” and her melodic voice eased the headache and I closed my eyes once more allowing the darkness pull me under.

 

I awoke as I felt someone’s soft hands gently moving my head around causing the dulled pain to grow enough that I could no longer sleep. I opened my eyes starring at two sets of hands, one set was dainty and pale with well manicured nails while the other set were older with a few wrinkles here and there. When the hands were gone I found myself starring into the old and slightly wrinkled face of a woman with soft white curls pulled into a deep orange cloth covered bun, leaving soft curling tendrils to hang on the sides of her head. She was dressed in pale lavender kimono that was wrapped around the middle with a pale orange Obi and a deep crimson corded rope over it. Her sleeves were long and draped over her lap.

 

As I looked up into her pale lavender eyes I saw sympathy and kindness and it made my heart ache in a familiar way.

 

“Have you joined us in the waking world young one,” and as her soft voice asked such an innocent question I realized I had no memory.

 

It must have shown on my face because she blinked worriedly down at me.

 

“What is wrong?”

 

“I can’t remember you.”

 

The soft movements around us stopped and I felt a gentle hand on my right shoulder causing me to turn and stare into the face I had saw last time I woke. The woman with the pale skin and ebony tresses stared down at me, her pale green eyes filled with worry.

 

“Do you remember me,” she asked.

 

“You were by my side the first time I woke up.”

 

“What about in the village,” she questioned.

 

“Village?”

 

“The village we were at a few days ago. You were there while we were performing. You saved two of our troop members.”

 

I tried to remember but nothing came to mind. No faces or memories of any villages surfaced and I became frustrated and I closed my eyes as a headache began to build.

 

“Do not force yourself young one. Time is something we have plenty of and seeing your golden eyes and puppy ears I am guess you do as well.”

 

I raised my left arm feeling a sting as I did so causing me to look down at an old bandage that had the scent of stale blood and sweat. I raised both arms then and felt my head finding two soft furred puppy ears that seemed to move through my fingertips as I tried to figure out the puzzle that was now my life.

 

“Here,” I looked up at the soft voice and saw that the ebony haired beauty held out a small hand mirror for me to take.

 

I took it and lifted it, looking at my reflection. I glanced over myself and saw my tanned skin, golden eyes and long white tresses and there atop my head were my two furred puppy ears. I stared at myself and blurred memories surfaced of myself as a child and beside me stood a beautiful woman who possessed long ebony tresses that nearly touched the ground and the brightest and most expressive pale brown eyes. She wore the most beautiful of kimono with layers that were bright and colorful ranging from red, green, blue and beyond; that trailed along the ground behind her.

 

I handed the mirror back and stared down at my hands as I tried to piece things together, finding only frustration and an ever-growing headache.

 

“You took quite a hit to the head more than once during the village raid, I am betting you just need some time to heal,” said the older of the two with a gentle smile and a pat on my hands that turned to a reassuring squeeze.

 

“My name is Naomi and I am the leader of this ragtag group of performers. We are all either Hanyou or share the blood of youkai, gods, goddesses and other beings who are not human.”

 

“Hanyou…” and as I let the word slip from my lips I could hear the echo of someone’s voice deep in my head that said that very word. It repeated in my head and each time it felt different; a tone of hatred, pity, loathing, and finally respect and perhaps love.

 

“I am guessing the word strikes a cord with you. I am assuming you are a hanyou and I can only hazard a guess that someone in your family is from the canine family.”

 

Naomi’s words echoed and I nodded as a deep voice playfully called me “dumb dog” and “mutt” in memories where I couldn’t place a name or face.

 

“Can you remember your name,” asked the other woman beside me.

 

I fought to remember and nothing came to mind, “No.”

 

“Well then…we shall give you one until you do remember,” And as she looked me over she smiled brightly and gently tugged on a piece of my white locks, “Shiro, we shall call you Shiro.”

 

I nodded and softly said the word allowing it to sink in before turning to her, “And you are?”

 

“I am Midoriko,” and as she said it I was drawn to her pale green eyes which seemed so much brighter against the pale orange kimono she wore.

 

“And yes, I was named for my eyes. My mother had told me many a time I had inherited my fathers beautiful eyes. I was told he was an earth deity of some sort.”

 

She gave a smile and one could see by the faraway look in her eyes that she was lost in her own memories.

 

“Where are we,” I asked as we rocked and swayed in our small room.

 

“We are in the back of one of three of our traveling wagons. We travel all over to play and perform and earn our meals. We have been doing so probably since before you were born,” and as Naomi said it I stared down at my hands and then back and forth between the two of them.

 

How old was I? Where am I from? Who had I left behind? How would I figure it all out?

 

“Do you think I will remember again?”

 

Naomi gave me a soft smile, “I believe you will in time. You must not force wounds of the heart and of the head. Both are delicate, especially for those like us who live such long lives.”

 

I felt relieved at her words and yet something hurt deep in my chest causing me to grip at the hakama I wore above my heart.

 

“I feel like I have to be somewhere and that someone important is waiting for me.”

 

“Well then perhaps you will remember and when you do we will see to it that you get there,” I nodded at Naomi and her words and felt some of the pressure ease if only a tiny bit.

 

“You said something odd when I awoke the second time” and I looked up into Midoriko’s eyes as I tried to recall her words from my first time waking.

 

She gave a soft smile, “I said that you and the life you carry are safe.”

 

I stared at her confused and she leaned over placing her hands on my midsection and I watched as the palest of green glows engulfed her hands and then spread along my midsection which suddenly pulsed as power tickled along my body along with a soft pulsing and a soft thumping noise filled the back of the wagon like tiny drum beats.

 

“Is that…” and before I could ask my hands moved to my midsection without thought and I felt the small power pulse through my fingers where they sat next to Midoriko’s.

 

“That is the pulse and power of the little life that grows in your body. It is strong and growing stronger. If I had to hazard a guess I’d say that you are almost three months into carrying give or take a week or two,” said Midoriko as she gave me a small soft smile.

 

I wrapped my arms around my midsection and felt so lost. A life growing inside me and I had no memory of how it got there. Whether it was love or hate that created it, whether I was loved or cherished. Would we be loved and cherished together? And yet…somehow it almost felt familiar but at the same time so very odd.

 

“We saw a mating mark on your shoulder while we were tending your wounds so we are assuming there is a sire out there waiting for your return,” said Naomi with a smile.

 

Midoriko removed her hands and the glow slowly dissipated along with the sound which still softly echoed in my ears.

 

“I wish I could remember,” and as the words left my mouth my eyes grew warm and I felt the first tear escape to fall down my right cheek. I shook my head and blinked away the remaining tears before they could fall, feeling foolish at the show of emotion.

 

“All in due time little one. Do not rush things. I am sure all will be revealed in due time.”

 

I nodded at Naomi’s words and lay back against my pillows. My mind overflowed with thoughts until my headache had returned and so I closed my eyes fighting the pain until I drifted off once more.

 

 

The caravan stopped and formed a small circle and I was spared the company of others that night. I was given a warm broth and rice for my dinner and two teas that eased my aches and pains allowing me to sleep once more.

 

I awoke the next morning and stretched as much as my body would allow. I was helped out of the wagon with Midoriko’s soft but firm hands down a small pair of rickety stairs that hung from the back of the wagon.

 

I came to stand in the middle of the circle created by the wagons that had intricate carvings on the outside of the wood covers; carvings that varied from carriage to carriage of nature at its finest with birds flying and animals in picturesque poses. In-between the wagons rope was hung and clothes, blankets, sheets and towels hung out to dry while in the middle a fire burned and over it was a large pot that smelled of rice porridge while around the hot coals sat three small tea pots with steam coming from the spouts.

 

A large man wearing the signature pale orange hakama sat with his back to me as he tended to the fire and the pot of porridge as it cooked. He smelled of something wild and musky and it was then that I noted his hair which was a mix of soft golden brown, black and a peppering bright fiery red which was tied against the base of his neck keeping it from his face and the flames.

 

As we came closer he turned and looked in our direction and it was then that I noticed that his face was that of lion, if a lion could make such human expressions. His skin was a dark tan but his face had a soft tan fur that lightened around his eyes and around what I could only describe as his muzzle which was complete with sets of full thick whiskers. His eyes are what really pulled me in; they were a deep golden brown that seemed to reflect the light of the fire almost making them look as though they glowed.

 

He was oddly beautiful and I was shamefully starring at him but even as I looked him over I found that I wasn’t frightened or disgusted by his appearance. He was amazingly different and yet I felt like I had seen others like him.

 

“Hanyou…you’re like me,” and as I said the words I smiled wide enough that I could feel it tug at the corners of my mouth.

 

His expression changed from a serious guarded one to out right amusement and he gave a loud purring laugh.

 

“We have found ourselves another strange one,” he said with a large grin, showing off his overly large feline fangs.

 

“The names’ Hiroaki but everyone just calls me Hiro.”

 

“I suppose for now you can call me Shiro,” and after my reply I saw Hiro’s frown and look up at Midoriko.

 

Midoriko shrugged, “Just until he remembers his name. It’s not the worse name someone could have.”  

 

I smiled widely at the two of them, looking back and forth and shrugged as two young ladies approached; their lavender curls bouncing as they did so. Their blue eyes were bright with excitement and curiosity as they came to stand in front of me.

 

“I’m Kiyko,” said the one on the left.

 

“I’m Kiyomi,” said the one on the right.

 

I looked them over and took notice of the fact that Kiyomi had a small scar on her chin. I would have a way to tell them apart.

 

“Nice to meet you Shiro,” the two happily chorused at the same time.

 

It was then that two small children approached and I felt a small tug in my chest at seeing them and I couldn’t say just why.

 

There before me stood a little girl with deep red hair and eyes a few shades lighter with the plumpest cheeks that almost begged to be pinched and squished. Her skin was a perfect peach with the cutest freckles adorning her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She wore a deep navy blue kimono that seemed to suit her coloring perfectly. Her hair bright locks were pulled into a tight bobbed pony atop her head almost tight enough that only a few strands escaped.

 

The young boy was just a smidge shorter than his female companion. He was pale skinned with hair the deep yellow of fresh egg yolk and like the young girls, his hair was also pulled back into a tight bobbed ponytail. His eyes were a gold so bright that they almost reminded me of a freshly minted coin or new jewelry but for such lovely eyes they held such mistrust and hurt.

 

He also wore a navy blue kimono and the color suited him as much as it had her except he seemed to drown in it while hers fit her like a glove. I almost expected him to sink into the material and vanish altogether.

 

“Here we have Chiasa and Masa. These two are here because of you. They had gotten separated in the chaos of the village and you saved them,” as Naomi spoke I stared down at the two little ones and found my mind was still blank.

 

“Do not worry; all will come in time and if it doesn’t then we will fret about it in the future. For now simply be and leave the future for another day.”

 

Naomi’s words helped ease some of the tightness in my chest but as I stared around me at the many that were of mixed blood I wondered what theirs stories were which in the end made me yearn to discover my own.

 

We ate breakfast and I helped with small menial chores, surprised that I seemed to be pretty decent at locating edible items such as berries and other wild plants and even amused myself by catching a few squirrels that had wandered my way.

 

I spent that day sitting and acquainting myself with the new faces and personalities I was traveling with and when the night came and dinner was had I returned to the wagon that for now was my home and lay down on my borrowed bedroll and covered myself up in my borrowed blankets and awaited another night of confusing and disjointed dreams.

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

Long chapter is long. Here’s hoping the next chapter will be finished soon.

 

Thanks for reading~!!

 

Kat

 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28: I’m shaken

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 28: I’m shaken**

Each day feels like a new one and yet I feel so very old. I am learning new things and yet they don’t seem new.

 

I have been in the care of the traveling troop for over a month and the weather and scenery has changed around us. It went from sweltering hot and humid to a comfortable temperature with the hint of chill in the breezes that blew around us. I watched as leaves dried from the summer regained their beautiful lush green only to lose that vibrant green and instead turn various shades of yellow, orange, red, purple and even brown.

 

It was a beautiful sight which I enjoyed to the fullest even while I was lost in my thoughts and recovering memories.

 

My mind seemed to be always full. I would see something and it would bring a vivid memory that was either so joyful and happy that my heart felt overfull and sometimes happy tears would form and then there were those that were sad, terrifying and hurtful that left me feeling so lost and hurt that it would take a bit to calm down and more often than not it was Naomi or Midoriko that stayed by my side at those times.

 

Naomi gifted me with a small leather bound book full of blank pages and I was told to write any and all memories I had down and that way I could go back and reread and regroup them into some sort of order.

 

I did as she suggested and thus far I have created different sections. I have recalled memories of a young girl whose name I’ve called over and over in these memories. Her name is Kagome and she dresses in an odd way that I have yet to see anyone else who dresses like her. My heart aches when I remember her and with the smile she often gives me in these memories I can assume that we were really close and perhaps even more than friends.

 

When I see this Kagome I often see a group as well. I have a hard time placing how we met and even their names but I can recall a small kitsune with eyes a deep pine green and hair as coppery red as the falling leaves. He is the second smallest of our group, the smallest being a pale yellow fire cat with black markings and eyes a deep red. There is a person whom this firecat is always with that has eyes that are a deep brown and filled with an intensity that you can’t help but notice and long ebony hair pulled back into a ponytail. There is a man whose short ebony locks are pulled back into a small ponytail and whose brown eyes are always fixated on the beautiful woman with intense eyes. He is a flirt and in the memories he can never keep his hands off of the intense woman. I am amused that this man is a monk and after I told Naomi and Midoriko about him they are as well.

 

I have memories of a woman who is beautiful beyond all words and so pleasant and sweet that my heart aches in a different way. In my dreams and memories I call her “Haha-ue”. I believe she is my mother which explains why all my memories are happy except for one… the memory of her death.

 

I have some memories of a full youkai with hair as white as moonlight and eyes a deep gold just like my own but his eyes are never pleasant and seem to hold such hate and malice that it hurts and aches so deep down in my chest  that I often cry without wanting to and often I have a hard time breaking free of the deep depression and sadness that his expression causes and then there are the words and actions.

 

I can not recall this youkai’s name and I am undecided if I ever want to.

 

My body is changing and I am unsure as of yet how I feel about the little being growing deep inside my body. My belly is rounded and just beginning to push outward, not enough to show through the baggy pale orange hakama I have been given but enough that if I sit my hand atop it you can tell that a new life is growing beneath my palm.

 

I am not treated any differently among the troop and I am given what they call the fair share of work. I often care for the horses and mules that pull the wagons. I feed and water them and see to it that their hooves are clean and in proper condition as well as their bodies and coats. It also my job to help Naomi in the putting up of fliers and calling to either gather crowds to announce a show will be starting.

 

When I am helping with the troops performances I am often given a slight makeover to make others think that I am dressed up and that I am not an actual hanyou. Often it is Midoriko or the twins Kiyoko and Kiyomi. They often line my eyes in coal and my lips in rouge and then they tend to play around with colorful face paints. I was taken aback when they had playfully colored my eyelids and the corners of my eyes in rouge and applied striped markings along my cheeks.

 

As I stared at myself I saw a younger and pudgier version of the serious man in my memories. I was not good at sketching or drawing but I had grabbed my book after their efforts and confused them all by trying to sketch my own features. I had done a decent enough job that I was satisfied but it was Hiro who had insisted I see an actual artist and even paid for it. The picture produced looked like some mythical being and I could not see myself in it but I thanked him and took the picture with me. I was even more amused at the fact that he had made himself a copy that he promised would be his and he would only use it as an example of his work.

 

I did not mind, I did not see myself in the work he created but rather a softer version of that hardhearted youkai with the penetrating stare.

 

Another month went by and the little one moved and I felt myself drawn to it and desperate to know the “mate” who had sired it.

 

Whether it was my desperation or months spent in the tender healing care of the troop my memories were coming back and in a particularly harsh memory I saw those gold eyes filled with dark emotions that resembled hate and loathing and yet they held want and lust.

 

In that memory I was on my hands and knees in the grass below a tree while he thrust deep into me. Pain laced through my heart and body at the memory and when it ended the memory of pain and fear filled my body as I saw a child; my child, enter this world. No, not just my child; his child, our child. Our son with his moonlight kissed hair and soft golden eyes that I knew turned into a deep gold like that of the sun on a bright day.

 

The tears that flowed down my face were both happy and sad as I fought to remember the names of the son I had birthed and the youkai who seemed to fill my mind so endlessly.

 

Fall was coming to an end and with it the colder and harsher weather was coming. It was this time I year I learned that Naomi would contact the nearest lords and ladies in both the human and youkai worlds. She would ask for housing and in exchange for housing and food for the winter months she would offer their services which varied from menial tasks to performing and playing music when asked.

 

My body was large with my expecting child and we began a grand game of disguising me as a woman. I was in my seventh month and bundled in a thick winter kimono with my eyes once more lined in coal and my lips rouged just enough that I looked a bit more effeminate, though it was hard not to look effeminate with my belly big with my moving child who did so more than ever much to my discomfort.

 

It was a particularly cold night when my body had done the oddest of things once more, when daylight left the sky and night fell. I had found myself in the carriage getting ready with Kiyoko and Kiyomi’s help while Midoriko did her makeup and dressed when an odd glow covered my body. I felt my body shift and change and when the odd sensation had ended I stared at myself in the mirror before me and saw the woman I had called “Haha-ue” in my memories. It was not the first time I had changed into a human in their presence nor the first time I had seen myself in the mirror as a human but with the makeup on my face I could clearly see the resemblance between myself and my “Haha-ue”.

 

“You are quite a sight when you change, even more so with the makeup,” said Midoriko as she finished dressing and came to stand behind me.

 

I nodded and smiled at her through the mirror, “I look like my mother with the make up on.”

 

She gave a surprised look and then smiled widely back at me, “It’s good that you remember her.”

 

When everyone was ready we entered a large tent that was filled with empty chairs with small fires lit in clay pots around the tent to give warmth and one by my side where I sat bundled in a heavy winter kimono and thick blanket in a seat made of stacked crates with a soft cushion to sit upon and a thick blanket to keep the chill of the crates from my body.

 

I was given the job of collecting payment and so I did, watching as patrons filled the tent until there was standing room only. I watched as a finely dressed couple came to stand before me. Both held a foreign beauty and by the look of their honey brown eyes and pointed ears I was almost positive they were full youkai. The man grinned showing sharp canines as he looked down at me as he dropped coins into my open hand. I looked up at him noting his tan hair with its smattering of black throughout and a memory of his grin surfaced in my mind with him and his mate in a glittering room dressed in finery as the sound of music and idle talk surrounded and engulfed us.

 

I blinked up at him and smiled shakily as I nodded, “Enjoy the show lord and lady.”

 

His smile disappeared as he looked down at me and seemed lost in thought.

 

“What is it darling,” and as the beautiful woman beside him asked he smiled once more and shook his head.

 

“It is nothing my dearest. Let us go enjoy the show.”

 

They entered and I fought to understand how I could have recognized such rich and refined youkai.

 

The show began and I closed the drapes of the tent and sat facing the stage as Hiro, Naomi, Kiyoko and Kiyomi played their shamisen, taiko and flutes. Beautiful music filled the tent and everyone seemed lost in the lull of it as stories wrote themselves in the notes. I felt my child move and stretch and wondered if he or she was enjoying the music as well. Soon applause followed silence and then the music began again and we all watched as Midoriko came on stage and began her first dance. The audience was entrance as was I; watching as she moved with such elegance and training that you could only wonder what otherworldly being she was.

 

One song ended and another began and soon she had danced to three songs. There was a short intermission and as the audience chatted and partook of the refreshments that Chiasa and Masa sold I found myself once more in the presence of the grinning lord. He stood beside me smiling down at me inquisitively.

 

“Can I ask your name,” and as he asked I felt a strange nervousness.

 

“Shiro,” I answered looking into those piercing honey brown eyes that almost seemed to glow.

 

“Quite an odd name for one with such beautiful ebony tresses and not really a name a young lady should have,” he quickly replied.

 

I felt a headache build along with my panic as his questions persisted.

 

“Where are you from Shiro?”

 

“I am not certain.”

 

“Do you not remember,” and as he asked I felt the child in my belly kick harshly not liking the sudden spike in stress.

 

I couldn’t think of a reply and yet he plowed on.

 

“How far along are you,” and I saw his eyes glancing down at my hands as I used my left to sooth my child by rubbing my visibly expanded belly.

 

I felt pain build in my head and stopped stroking my belly in favor of holding my head as the pain began to grow and intensify. I closed my eyes and tried to help alleviate the pain and yet it still continued to build.

 

“Shiro!”

 

I heard Midoriko’s shout and felt her hands come to rest on my arms bring them away from my head and gently stroking the sides of my face until I opened my eyes and looked into her startling green eyes filled with worry.

 

“Are you okay,” she asked softly.

 

I nodded and looked back up and into the now concerned honeyed eyes of the finely dressed man before me.

 

“I believe there is much to discuss between us my talented dancer. I would like for your Shiro to join me and my wife after your performance.”

 

His expression and deep honeyed eyes were serious and left no room for argument and so Midoriko nodded and stood offering me her hand. I stood and she escorted me to our wagon. She helped me into the wagon with our honey eyed guest standing outside; as if afraid we were going to make a run for it.

 

I was helped onto my bed roll and covered with a blanket as I took a deep breath and closed my eyes in the hopes that the headache I had developed would dissipate.

 

“Rest, I will get Naomi to come sit with you and when the performance is done and the tent emptied I too will return.”

 

I nodded up at her and felt fear and dread fill me, “I’ve seen him before but I can’t remember why and how we met.”

 

She nodded and patted my hand, “I figured as much. He is pretty determined that you not leave his sight. Do not stress, it is not good for you or the little one. Rest and relax.”

 

No sooner had her words left her mouth than I saw Naomi at my side. Her hands gently patted my head reassuringly as she busied herself making tea. The sound of music began again and softly carried in the night air to the wagon. I listened and closed my eyes allowing sleep to pull me under.

 

I awoke with a gentle pat to my head and the soft calling of my name. I was helped into a sitting position and looked around noting that not only Naomi and Midoriko sat with us but so did the honey eyed couple and all seemed to have their eyes on me.

 

“I am sorry to bother you all but I am certain my hunch is right and that I know our young Shiro,” and as the words left his mouth he offered no grin or smile and instead a frown.

 

“And how do you know our Shiro Lord….,” asked Naomi as she offered me a cup of steaming tea.

 

“I am Lord Pacchiri and this is my beautiful mate Lady Amira,” he replied to the unasked question as to who he was and gestured to his beautiful mate at his side.

 

 “So how is it a lord and lady of the Jackal clan know our young Shiro,” asked Naomi once more.

 

“I suppose I shall answer that question with a question…have any of you heard of the great Inu lord Sesshomaru,” and as he asked I saw both Naomi and Midoriko nod and then both looked at me closely.

 

“Are you aware that he has a hanyou brother?”

 

And as he asked I saw Naomi turn to me giving me a once over before she turned back to Lord Pacchiri.

 

“You think I am this hanyou brother,” I asked clenching my hands around my tea cup.

 

“You are a hanyou are you not,” he asked as he looked me over.

 

I fought his gaze and instead sipped my tea.

 

“You can hold your tongue if you prefer but it is nearly dawn and if I remember correctly…there is a day or night when a hanyou loses their power. I am betting that yours just happens to fall on the new moon.”

 

As he said it I could feel the familiar tingle in my body. I knew that the sun was rising.

 

“Why do you think I am this hanyou brother,” I asked fighting to make sense of this before my body changed.

 

“You have his eyes even if they are a different color and that same challenging look and the fire in your eyes is the same.”

 

“And why is it important you find this hanyou,” I asked looking into his eyes.

 

“He is searching for you and has asked for the aide of friends and alliances. It seems our beloved InuYasha simply vanished after visiting his human friends. No trace or sign…”

 

And as the words left his mouth a soft glow covered my body and I closed my eyes as the shifting of finger nails into claws and fangs elongated in my mouth. When I opened my eyes I saw and felt Lord Pacchiri gently lift a lock of my hair and hold it up smiling brightly at me.

 

“That is until now…”

 

Silence was heavy in the wagon only to be broken once again by Lord Pacchiri.

 

“Welcome back Lord InuYasha. Your mate has been frantic in his search for you.”

 

 

To Be Continued…

 

So I wrote six pages and deleted them, wrote four more and deleted those… it has been a trying few days trying to get this chapter written. I had an idea in my head but I shall save that for another fic.

 

A lot of you would like to see Sesshomaru’s POV which I wouldn’t mind doing but not in this fic. Perhaps I will write a story from his POV or even a standalone. Is that okay?

 

I’ve written from Sessh’s POV in other fics so I’d rather keep this one from Yasha’s POV. Thank you for all the reviews~!!!!

 

Kat

 

 


	29. Chapter 29: By the violence

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 29: By the violence**

As morning came I found myself exhausted and stressed more than I could ever have imagined as I stared at the Lord and Lady in our wagon sipping tea like they hadn’t just said something so simple and life changing.

 

I fought to put a face to the name he had spoken and I couldn’t and then an image of the youkai with the golden eyes that seemed to burn you with his gaze, his cheeks emblazoned with crimson markings along with his eyes framed by the ivory locks left tumbling down his back.

 

“I am curious to hear of your great adventure though that startled doe eyed look says you yourself cannot recall it.”

 

I don’t think Lord Pacchiri was trying to be cruel with his words and yet they stung. I hung my head and fought the heat behind my eyes and with it I felt anger so hot and overwhelming that I blinked back the oncoming tears and lifted my head and growled at the lord and his lovely wife.

 

“It’s not like I intended to lose my memory! Why do you feel the need to come off like a pretentious asshole!? There’s this old saying about kicking someone when their down, perhaps you should learn it dipshit!”

 

“Shiro!”

 

It wasn’t just one voice that chastised me and I could have cared less.

 

“Apparently that’s not my name. What is it you called me, InuYasha?! You know what if my mate is anything like you then I am pretty sure I am better off without him and his stuck up crowd. Perhaps it is better that you just leave and pretend you never saw me.”

 

I was exhausted after my tirade and I felt a little bit immature and impudent after my outburst and yet I felt vindicated as I got those words off my chest.

 

I was expecting to see anger and outrage and what I found instead were two grinning faces full amusement as Lord and Lady fought back laughter.

 

“Oh you have finally found your backbone I see,” Lady Amira mused as she looked me over.

 

“Sesshomaru had told us over the years how vexing his younger brother was and how much it irked him that you were so wild and uncouth and then when the two of you mated he seemed so lost to see that you had all but lost your spark; lost that wildness and fight that you had in you,” Lord Pacchiri was grinning as he crossed his arms over his chest to look me over.

 

“That spark is still there and perhaps this time your brother can keep it from being extinguished.”

 

I blushed and crossed my own arms over my stomach and snorted as I turned to look away.

 

“We would like to be your winter patrons but instead of our own humble abode I propose that we travel to The Great Lord Sesshomaru’s home. It isn’t but a few days travel from here and I believe you would be quite the New Year’s gift even with your current ailment and loss of memory.”

 

“We would be much obliged my Lord Pacchiri,” Naomi replied bowing in his direction with Midoriko following suit.

 

“Good…good. I will see to it that my men gather supplies for our travel and tomorrow at dawns light we shall head out,” and as he said it he stood and bowed in my direction. He offered his hand to his mate and they stood and left the wagon wishing us a peaceful days rest.

 

It remained quiet for a while after their departure and then their eyes finally fell on me and I could feel the questions that hung on the end of their tongues.

 

“I still can’t remember everything so don’t bother asking. I think I can put a face to the name Sesshomaru but I can’t recall much of our relationship.”

 

“We’re not trying to pry, I simply hope that this is a happy reunion and not one that will leave any of us with regrets,” and as Midoriko spoke I couldn’t think of a reply.

 

“Let’s not dwell on it. Let us rest for now. A few hours sleep will leave us refreshed enough to pack up and see to our departure early tomorrow,” I sighed and lay back down on my bedroll, my child actively pummeling my insides couldn’t keep me from the exhaustion that pulled me into sleeps warm embrace.

 

I dreamed of the golden eyed youkai once more and in this dream he had his arms gently wrapped around my body as he held me close in a big comfortable bed while he gently took full advantage of my body. We had sex…no not sex…we made love. This intimidating and volatile youkai made love to me as if I were the most precious thing he had ever held in his arms. I turned in this dream and looked up into those deep pools of molten gold and saw not hatred or disdain but something sweeter, happier. I was pretty sure what I saw now was what could be called awe and what one could call affection but it looked a bit deeper and more complex.

 

I awoke to the comforting swaying movement of the wagon with tears gathered at the corners of my eyes and my mind filled with questions that I could only hope would be answered when we arrived at the home of the Inu Youkai Sesshomaru.

 

I couldn’t quite call him brother or mate; he was foreign and the words seemed just as foreign and yet I couldn’t imagine the little being inside of me being raised without the one who helped to make him or her. I sighed and wiped my face and looked around the wagon finding it empty and dim. The swaying of the wagon told me we were on the move. I sat up fully and managed to get into a standing position. I stretched trying to ease the ache in my hips and back as I maneuvered my way to a curtained window. I pulled aside the curtain and looked outside seeing that the sun was high in the sky letting me know it was noon and that we still had a long day of travel ahead of us.

 

I watched the scenery pass us by and oddly enough found it slightly familiar but I couldn’t say why or when I had seen it. I sat on the box that had become a convenient window seat and saw someone on horseback come up the window giving a slight bow as he caught sight of me. I gave a small smile and nodded my head back at him and watched as he rode on ahead.

 

Time passed and my mind wandered to the youkai as thoughts of the grand lord’s palace filled my mind with amusing thoughts of grandeur, things cleaned by servants and each meal a feast thanks to cooks and maids. I looked down at my plain pale orange kimono and looked over the sleeves that were beginning to look haggard and frayed. I certainly didn’t look fit to be visiting a lord in his palace and I sighed and looked back out the window watching as the view of trees, bushes and the occasional hillside went past.

 

A foot stretched and I watched the movement through my kimono where it was stretched tight across my ever growing belly and rubbed gently amused as movement was felt on the opposite side.

 

“I suppose our lord will be well and truly surprised to see the two of us. I highly doubt he expected to retrieve a broken brother and mate who is practically ready birth his child,” and as I spoke the words I couldn’t help but dread this meeting a bit more.

 

I felt my poor abused bladder crying out for release and just as I was about to open the window and call out for a break we slowed to a stop.

 

I waddled to the wagons door and opened it standing face to face with an amused Hiroaki.

 

“I figured you’d be desperate for a break about now,” and as he said it he set the small set of wooden stairs down and before he could fully step out of the way I had all but waddled quickly down them and past him. I probably amused most of the group and even some of Lord Pacchiri’s as I all but ran with my massive girth into the woods and found a patch of well grouped bushes.

 

I sighed in relief as I lessened my bladders burden, finding the need more important than any embarrassment my quick departure had caused. I sighed and readjusted my clothing and stood as tall as I could and waddled slowly back to the wagons which had been arranged into a large circle, made larger by Lord Pacchiri’s two wagons and his four guards riding along on horseback. I watched as a guard helped Hiroaki to build a fire while Naomi and the twins began the arduous task of starting the night’s meal.

 

Lord Pacchiri’s carriages were grand and done in the finest woods and materials available but much like our simpler ones his seemed just as well traveled. As if thinking of him had pulled him from his carriage I watched as Lord Pacchiri followed by his wife Lady Amira exited their larger carriage and came to stand beside me.

 

“How are you feeling,” Lady Amira asked with a soft smile.

 

I rubbed my belly trying to calm both my nerves and the little one inside, “I suppose I can’t complain. I am more than ready to be finished carrying this small one, though I don’t wish for an early delivery. I would just prefer not to have my innards abused.”

 

She laughed softly and covered her mouth with a well manicured hand, “Oh, I do remember those days quite clearly. You will as well one of these days.”

 

At my questioning look she smiled brightly, “You and Lord Sesshomaru have four children already.”

 

I felt my eyes widen and then heard a pot clang to the ground loudly. I looked up around and found that everyone from the troop was starring in my direction. I would have been amused to see that Hiroaki had dropped a pot of rice he had been rinsing on the ground but I myself was too shocked to fully take in their reactions. Lady Amira laughed a soft and gentle sound that almost made me want to smile.

 

“My dearest speaks the truth. Your oldest is in his twenties…I believe he will be twenty two in a few weeks, your daughter has recently turned fifteen I believe and your twin sons are now eleven. You have been quite loved InuYasha,” Lord Pacchiri said with a wide grin.

 

I couldn’t help but look down at my belly at his statement and think the same thing since I was carrying once more. I stood there and tried to picture my children but my memories seemed so mixed up and jumbled.

 

“Can you tell me their names,” and as I asked I felt foolish and horrible for not knowing the names of the children I had held under my heart for nine months and then birthed and raised.

 

“Only if you promise to remove that look upon your face,” and I looked up shocked feeling chastised for allowing my emotions to show so openly.

 

“Don’t get me wrong InuYasha, I am neither angry nor disappointed, I simply don’t think you should berate yourself for things that are beyond your control. Sesshomaru and I are as close as two members of Youkai society can be and perhaps even more so and I can say that he thinks quite highly of you and that from the little I have heard of your life you are truly a strong individual who seems to always find trouble in the oddest of circumstances; so much so that I wonder if you had wracked up some bad karma in a past life.”

 

I nodded and tried to clear my mind and face of negative emotions, “I will take your words to heart.”

 

He gave me a smile and nodded, “Your eldest is named Ryusei, your daughter Chiouka and your youngest sons are Hissorashi and Haderashi. They are all well raised and I quite enjoy seeing them with every visit though at my last visit they seemed quite disheartened at your disappearance.”

 

I nodded and felt my chest ache once more though I fought not to show the guilt I felt.

 

“If ever you doubt your mate’s feelings I want you to know this; he called together any Youkai lords who would come and asked their assistance in locating you. When Lady Megumi had insinuated you had runaway he insisted you had given your word and said that was one thing you always stood by.”

 

Lord Pacchiri’s playful smile left and in its place was a seriousness I didn’t know he possessed and looked out of place on his usually smirking visage.

 

“It is true. Sesshomaru had quite the search party assembled and though our meeting seems mere coincidence I assure you that it is not. Somehow your brother had received information on your whereabouts and since we happened to be close we investigated ourselves,” Lady Amira smiled happily whilst I blushed and nodded.

 

“Now why don’t you go sit, your poor ankles are swollen.”

 

I smiled and nodded and made my way over to the fire that had been started and sat down on a seat that Hiroaki had offered me. I snuggled into my kimono fighting to stay warm when a heavy fur cloak was laid over my shoulders. I looked up into Midoriko’s smiling green eyes.

 

“So you have four children,” she asked with a smile.

 

I nodded and wrapped my arms in the fur cloak pulling it further around my body, “That’s what I’m told. I have memories of a son whom I am assuming is Ryusei my eldest.”

 

She smiled and nodded, “That’s good. You don’t look like a parent to four soon to be five children but I am not surprised. You do seem to be full of surprise.”

 

I sat there comfortable in my fur cloak and watched as food was prepared and as those in the camp did various jobs. I felt like I should help but I was exhausted and sore and when Lord Pacchiri’s guards offered to do my jobs of seeing to the horses and mules instead, I didn’t argue and instead offered my thanks.

 

The sun had begun to set and torches were lit along with lanterns to light up our camp. Food was served and conversations were had and I sat there taking it all in and simply enjoying the comfort of what seemed like normal routine since I had joined the troop.

 

“Does the lord know we are coming,” asked Naomi during our meal.

 

“I saw to it to write a missive and sent it with one of my men ahead of us the morning we had talked. I will admit that I wasn’t too descriptive, I simply told him I would be arriving in a few days time with guests and that he should be awaiting my arrival.”

 

I saw the mischievous grin take over his face and knew he was troublesome and I was betting that he constantly drove Lord Sesshomaru up the wall and was probably not his favorite acquaintance.

 

“You two are truly alike; you and Sesshomaru that is. You both give similar looks of disbelief and annoyance. I do enjoy seeing surprise on your brother’s face, though it is such a rare treat.”

 

I rolled my eyes and continued eating my meal of warm rice and rabbit stew. Pacchiri continued to talk and most of the troop listened raptly to his every word but I found myself bored when his topic of conversation became himself, which I could assume after only knowing him two days, was his favorite topic of discussion. I ate another bowl of rice and went to relieve myself once more before I finally bid every goodnight and retired to the comfort of the wagon. I was more than ready to strip down to my inner robe and cover myself with blankets and furs.

 

I had done as I had planned only after pulling out my book and once more writing in it the details I had learned this day. I was sure to write down the names of children I could barely remember and odd details about Sesshomaru and I had even created a chapter for Lord Pacchiri and his beautiful wife. With words on paper and a sketch here and there I finally bundled down on my bed roll and allowed the exhaustion and excitement of the day pull me into a deep enough sleep that not even my child’s endless tumbling and stretching could keep me from the dreams that sleep brought.

 

 

To Be Continued…

 

 

This story is fun to write. Thank you all for your reviews and hopefully you like the ending I am working towards. Happy Valentine’s Day~!!!

 

Kat

 

 

 

 


	30. Chapter 30: Of Existing

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 30: Of Existing**

I awoke before the sun was done rising and quickly made my way out of our wagon to relieve my aching and abused bladder. A small meal of rice porridge was prepared and served to everyone in our camp and once food had been served and eaten the task of breaking down camp began. I helped by rinsing off dishes and seeing to it that they were properly put away.

 

Once everything was packed away and our fire was put out, horses and mules were hooked to wagons after we saw to it that they were watered. Everyone climbed into or onto their respective wagons and Lord Pacchiri’s men climbed onto their horses and we began moving once more. The sun had touched the sky in a brilliant and beautiful show of pinks, oranges and yellows and I enjoyed the image from the front of the wagon seated next to Hiroaki who had once again covered his face.

 

I was saddened to see him cover himself but I knew it was a necessary evil. It wouldn’t do to have humans seeing a walking talking lion man.

 

Hiroaki looked away from the horses that pulled our wagon and gave me a questioning look, “Why so glum Shi…Yasha.”

 

I smiled at his slip of tongue, though mostly because he had given me a nickname already.

 

“Wishing the world was a better place,” I said giving him a smile.

 

“Well if anyone can help change it, it would be you.”

 

He offered me a fang filled grin which I returned, knocking into his shoulder playfully.

 

“I think you’re giving me too much credit.”

 

He smiled and looked back at the road ahead of us,” And I think you give yourself too little.”

 

It was quiet as I bundled into my fur cloak and thick blanket beside Hiroaki watching the scenery pass us by. I listened to the winter bird’s songs which occasionally would fly and flitter around us as if seeing who we were in their winter land on such a cold day.

 

Another hour passed and I noticed the songs of the winter birds suddenly ended. I felt an odd sense of dread fill me and I stiffened letting my ears swivel in search for what had caused the birds to end their song and an explanation for the sudden tension in the air.

 

I noted that Hiroaki had also stiffened and I heard him taking deep sniffs as if trying to scent the danger. I followed his lead and smelled nothing out of the ordinary. What ever was lurking in the deep woods was keeping itself well hidden even with half the leaves dead and covering the forest floor it somehow managed to stay hidden among the barren trees.

 

We weren’t the only ones to notice the sudden change in atmosphere as the wagons evened their pace so that we were closer together and Lord Pacchiri’s men spaced them selves out to one man at the end, two in the middle and one at the front of our odd caravan. My nerves were strung tight enough that even my unborn child halted their movement leaving me even more unnerved.

 

When the tension seemed almost palatable a soft howl echoed in the distance ahead of us. It was so soft and gentle and yet it caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. It rang out long and soft and echoed around us and when it ended only its echo seemed to continue on. It ended and the horses and mules seemed to spook but we spurred them on hoping to soon be out of this odd forest.

 

Another howl rent the air and then another and oddly enough excited barks joined in. It was then that I saw them, a small pack of wolves bounding over to us, not aggressively but almost playfully. They were various shades of black, grey, white and then there were the odd shades of red and brown. It was as if two packs had joined into one.

 

I watched as the wagons came to a stop and when I saw Lord Pacchiri’s men reach for their swords I called out without a second thought, “STOP! Please wait.”

 

They all turned to stare at me and I held my hands up and watched as I had not only the eyes of Hiroaki and Lord Pacchiri’s men but the wolves who yipped and barked at me happily wagging their tails as they did so, coming to prance in front of our wagon leaving stunned looks as heads leaned out of wagons watching as three youkai came racing out of the forest to join the pack of wolves that seemed so excited and pleased in finding us.

 

When the three saw our wagons they slowed down to a slow jog and finally a brisk walk. It was easy to see that they were Youkai and since they smelled of fur and the musk of wolf I was betting that they were the leaders of these overly excited wolves that seemed to get even more excited at seeing their approach.

 

The middle youkai was taller than me by half a foot or more with tanned skin and ebony hair pulled back in a tight pony tail and kept further back with a fur and leather lined headband which seemed to match the rest of his ensemble that included fur leggings that went knee high, fur that wrapped around his waist, wrists and lay atop his shoulder pads leaving his chest covered by black and silver armor and a long brown tail trailing behind him. His eyes were a beautiful shade of cerulean blue that seemed to stand out amid all the darker colors of his clothing and skin tone.

 

On his left side stood a wolf youkai with an almost shaved head, sporting a white mohawk in armor of a deep pine green with a chain slung over his shoulder with furs auburn in color and only wrapped around his waist and legs. On his right side was another wolf youkai sporting charcoal gray hair with an almost black skunk stripe through the middle wearing chest armor a deep maroon with a brown furred vest over it that matched his leggings and waist.

 

As they approached their wolves grew louder, a few running back and forth between us and them until finally they looked up as they approached and I saw that all of them looked quite surprised as they stared at me. I saw that surprise become happiness as the middle man grinned and approached us with his hands held in front of him in a peaceful gesture.

 

“You’ve had us worried sick you dumb mutt. Where the hell have you been,” and as the words were spoken I felt Hirokaki tense beside me.

 

Before he could react or speak I put my hand on his shoulder quieting him and I stood up and it was then that their eyes immediately fell to my rounded belly and I could see the leaders cerulean eyes widen momentarily before he shook his head.

 

“Are you out of your mind?! Why would you come back here carrying someone else’s pup? Sesshomaru is going to lose it when he sees you! Oh man! You can never do things the easy way can you?!”

 

I blinked down at this wolf youkai on the verge of a mental breakdown and couldn’t help but laugh which brought him to a stop while he looked up at me wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

 

“Lord Kouga you should probably stop there,” and both the wolf and I turned to our left to see Lord Pacchiri exit out of his wagon approaching us with his usual large smile in place.

 

“Pacchiri, why are you with him? What in the world is going on?”

 

The expression on the wolf youkai’s face was the most amusing thing I had seen in a long time but I couldn’t fault him for his confusion, I felt much the same and had for the last few months.

 

“Our dearest InuYasha suffered a severe head injury while he was away on his sabbatical and his memory is only just beginning to return.”

 

I watched as this Lord Kouga turned to look at me and I saw some of the hysteria and confusion leave his face, if only a little bit.

 

“Like I said, you can never do things the easy way,” he sighed and rubbed at his temples looking us over.

 

I smiled and shrugged, “I suppose I make things interesting.”

 

“Oh, you have no idea.”

 

I smiled at his words and it was then that Lord Pacchiri came to stand in front of me, “Come InuYasha, let us convene in my wagon and converse with the Wolf Prince Kouga and we can partake of some tea and sweets while we fill him in on your journey.”

 

I nodded and Lord Pacchiri helped me down from my seat beside Hiroaki and we walked towards his wagon with the cerulean eyed wolf prince.

 

“Ginta! Hakaku! Head back to the caves and call off the search. I’ll return in a day or two,” and then he paused and looked at Lord Pacchiri as he asked his next question, “Please tell me you’ve sent some sort of missive to Sesshomaru…”

 

Lord Pacchiri grinned and nodded, “How cruel of you to think I wouldn’t do so,” grabbing his chest in mock pain.

 

The wolf youkai rolled his eyes and almost growled his reply, “We all know you enjoy your fun and games, I just wanted to make sure you were smart enough to not make this into such a thing.”

 

As we came to the carriage I watched Lord Pacchiri enter and then turn to offer me his hand so that I could enter without falling. Once I was in the carriage he stood aside and allowed the one called Kouga to enter.

 

“Why do you seem so panicked about this Wolf Prince? What do you know that neither I nor our precious InuYasha know?”

 

I sat down on an offered cushion next to Lady Amira who seemed a tad bit nervous at her mate’s question. It was quiet for a moment, the only sound being that of the steaming cups of tea being set in front of myself and then in the two places that were currently being sat in by both Kouga and Lord Pacchiri.

 

I watched as Kouga ran a hand through his messy ebony black bangs before sighing and looking directly at me and frowning. I don’t know what he saw as he looked at me and into my eyes but it didn’t seem to ease any of his worries.

 

“What do you remember of your mate…if anything at all,” and as he asked I felt the weight of his gaze and I knew he wanted the dark and light, happy and sad; he wanted a truth I couldn’t fully provide.

 

I gripped my cup as I thought about how to best answer.

 

“What you say now stays between us. I vow that not a word of what is said shall leave this carriage without your permission. I want you to speak freely,” at his words I looked up into Lord Pacchiri’s eyes finding none of his playfulness and instead he was as serious as the newcomer.

 

“I swear on my children’s lives,” Lady Amira said as she gently laid her hand over my clenched right hand where it sat beside my warm tea cup.

 

I closed my eyes and the wagon jerked as we started moving once more as I nodded opening my eyes once more seeing all eyes on me.

 

“I cannot say if the one in my memories and dreams is this mate…this Sesshomaru you speak of…”

 

“Can you describe him,” asked Lady Amira.

 

“He’s taller than me and we almost look alike except he’s not a hanyou, he’s got the pointed ears and red stripes along high cheekbones and an indigo crescent moon in the middle of his forehead.”

 

I saw the looks of confirmation and then followed by nods.

 

“Sounds like Sesshomaru,” both Kouga and Lord Pacchiri said at the same time.

 

“In some of my memories he’s cruel, intentionally so. Cruel words and actions and the looks in his eyes is almost hatred if not something deeper.”

 

I took a sip of my tea and remembered his gentle hands and how he had worshipped my body and I felt myself confused.

 

“And in other memories it’s as if I am something treasured and cared for like a proper mate.”

 

I sat there lost in memories and wondered how someone could be so different in all of my memories.

 

“Lord Kouga,” it was said in a way that meant Lord Pacchiri was expecting him to tell what he knew.

 

“I’ve know mutfface…InuYasha a long time…Hell! We fought as much as we talked. I was there when he went into labor with his first son. He was petrified of Sesshomaru finding him. I’ll admit…I helped him avoid his brother that day. It was years later when I happened to feel old high and mighty’s energy in my territory and I happened upon the ass beating InuYasha in front of his son. I’m not saying he had set out to purposely attack InuYasha…just with InuYasha being in heat with a pup at his side seemed to bring his inner youkai to the surface and it was pissed.”

 

Lord Pacchiri frowned and felt myself shiver at the description.

 

“I’m not good at thinking on my feet but I managed to taunt him into marking InuYasha that day. I didn’t watch the proceedings and only came to check on him afterwards. He was hurt pretty badly but he was now more than a pup factory.”

 

“I never figured Sesshomaru to be so cruel to his own mate,” Lady Amira commented clearly surprised and slightly disgusted.

 

“I saw InuYasha at the New Years Eve gatherings just like you two did though it seemed he never stayed long and Sesshomaru seemed to keep him on a short leash and was especially displeased with my attention on his mate and he only let up when I had mated Ayame.”

 

It grew quiet and I could feel the tension grow and I felt so lost. Part of me wanted my memories back and part of me didn’t.

 

Was it a blessing that I had forgotten my life from before? Would I have been able to live free and start a new life? But then again as I thought back to memories of my son and hearing about the other children I had bore I felt a piece of me would be unable to simply leave and walk away from the lives that I had carried in my body and now my heart.

 

“I can say that though I have seen you go through some horrible things you actually looked happy the last few times I visited. The way you two stared at each other, the glances across the room and the heated looks when you were near one another gave…no gives me hope that you were happy and will be again.”

 

Lord Pacchiri nodded and grinned once more, “That is true; I have also witnessed the two of you acting like pups in season. So lost in one another you’d often forget others were around.”

 

“Not to mention, one cannot make amends if they have no one to make amends to. He owes you InuYasha and if he doesn’t do right by you I believe you have to only contact us.”

 

“That is right my dearest,” and as Lord Pacchiri replied to his mates words his eyes held hers and you knew they truly loved one another deeply.

 

“Not just them, you have me, the demon hunter and her husband the monk and I’m pretty sure the big kitty you were seated next to as well as the others you’ve befriended on your journeys,” and as I looked into Kouga’s cerulean blue eyes I knew he was and is a friend.

 

“So how long do you think it will take to make it to this Sesshomaru’s castle,” and as I asked Kouga crossed his arms.

 

“I’d say maybe another few more hours. I’ve been patrolling your old haunts which are between my territory and his. I couldn’t go too far since Ayame is expecting my third cub,” Kouga said as way of explanation.

 

“Congratulations Lord Kouga,” we all replied.

 

He shook his head, “You have got to stop calling me that muttface…it weirds me out; memory or no memory. Kouga is good enough.”

 

I grinned at him, “I could just call you smelly wolf.”

 

At that his grin widened, “Oh, and then I would have to call you dog breath.”

 

“Then you’re mangy wolf.”

 

I sipped from my tea cup again finishing my now cold tea and just as Kouga was about to say something the wagon came to a sudden stop. I watched as Lord Pacchiri stood up and went to the wagons door. He opened it and stepped out as an immense aura and energy filled the area almost making the air hard to breathe. I stood up and felt my child squirming and moving almost excitedly and happily at feeling the energy. I felt drawn to it and when Kouga left through the wagon door I followed even though Lady Amira called after me.

 

Outside stood one of the oddest sights I was sure I had ever seen.

 

There stood a large white dog larger than our wagons in the air above us. I watched as it gently touched down before our band of wagons and turned its large crimson eyes to look down at me and as it did so I took note of the indigo crescent moon in the middle of its forehead.

 

The dog youkai whined and began to shrink as it approached and then the dog was gone and instead in its place stood the tall intimidating figure I had seen so many times in my memories and dreams. He was dressed in fine garments with silver and gold stitching, his hair finely combed and clean with fur lining his beautiful hakama.

 

He came to stand a few feet from me and I felt like I didn’t belong breathing the same air let alone standing before this youkai in my pale orange kimono with its worn and frayed sleeves, my hair unkempt and messy as it fell down my back and my belly pushing up and into the material which stretched across it.

 

His eyes bore into mine and I fidgeted and out of nervous habit wrapped my arms around my noticeable bump bringing his eyes to it before he looked up into my eyes once more.

 

“InuYasha…”

 

 

 

To Be Continued…

 

Sorry for the evil cliffy. Thank you ALL for the amazing reviews. When I’m done this story I’m going to go back over it and fix all the mistakes grammar and spelling wise and repost chapters.

 

Well Goodnight all~! More to come soon.

 

Kat


	31. Chapter 31: For only you

**Title: Do What You Have To Do**  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

 

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 31: For only you**

_He came to stand a few feet from me and I felt like didn’t belong breathing the same air let alone standing before this youkai in my pale orange kimono with its worn and frayed sleeves, my hair unkempt and messy as it fell down my back and my belly pushing up and into the material which stretched across it._

_His eyes bore into mine and I fidgeted and out of nervous habit wrapped my arms around my noticeable bump bringing his eyes to it before he looked up into my eyes once more._

_“InuYasha…”_

I stared at him and couldn’t help but fight to swallow as his presence and energy overwhelmed me. I watched as he took a step closer and I fought not to step back. He was beautiful and elegant and I felt so wrong being in his presence and yet he took another step coming closer and closer. He soon had closed the distance between us and I could clearly see the mixed emotions of longing, excitement, relief and something that was so intense I could not think of a word for it, reflected in his molten gold eyes.

 

That intense look seemed to outweigh the other emotions and as he came to stand before me it filled his eyes causing my heartbeat to quicken along with my breathing. He lifted his right hand and gently brought it to my face his thumb tracing over my cheek and jaw.

 

I felt my cheeks warm as he leaned in close, his breath warm on my face and then he gently pressed his soft lips to my forehead and kissed his way down to each cheek, my nose, my chin and then he finally pressed his lips firmly against my own lips and my breath stopped as my heart pounded and I subconsciously lifted my hands and placed them on his arms as they came to wrap around my body holding me against him. His lips left mine and I found that I was not the only one breathing hard. I stared up at him and couldn’t help but feel intrigued and lost in this youkai who seemed to cause such emotions to overflow inside of me.

 

“I have missed you.”

 

At his soft words I felt lost and it must have shown on my face because the expression on his face grew worried.

 

“What is wrong,” and as the words left his mouth I fought to find the words to best answer him.

 

“I am sad to say that your mate sustained a serious head injury in his absence and he is only just beginning to regain his memory,” both Sesshomaru and I turned to our left to see Lord Pacchiri standing with Lady Amira at his side as they watched us with soft pleasant expressions.

 

Sesshomaru looked down at me and I nodded as I gave him a sad smile.

 

“Is this true? Is this why you didn’t return? It wasn’t because you had grown tired of this Sesshomaru,” and as he asked I could hear some hope in his voice.

 

“If I could remember I’m pretty sure I could answer you properly…right now I can say I recall you in my memories but everything is like a book with its pages torn out only there are no page numbers to help put them in order.”

 

He nodded and closed his eyes taking a deep breath and letting it out before his arms released my body slowly pulling away and caressing me as he did so. I felt cold without his body warmth and as my arms fell away from his I instead wrapped them around myself feeling vulnerable all of a sudden.

 

“We had hoped to stall your reunion until we could have words but as usual you have surprised us with your sudden appearance,” and at Lord Pacchiri’s words I stepped back and fought to recover my senses.

 

I watched as Sesshomaru looked around him at the carriages and men on horseback before bringing his eyes back to me and my swollen belly before turning once more to look Lord Pacchiri in the eye.

 

“I could feel his presence and came to investigate.”

 

At Sesshomaru’s words I saw Lord Pacchiri nod in understanding, “Well if you would be so kind as to join us in my carriage we can all talk and perhaps clear the air a bit before we arrive at your castle.”

 

I felt Kouga come to stand at my side and he looked into my wide eyes and frowned, “Are you okay?”

 

I nodded and fought to control my feelings and inner turmoil as best I could as I nodded, “I suppose as okay as I am going to be until my memory returns.”

 

Kouga nodded, “It would be nice if they could keep your stress down as much as possible but I don’t see that happening. If you start to feel sick or any pain let me or any of us know. Shocks and stress aren’t good for anyone carrying.”

 

I gave him a small smile and nodded, “Thanks Kouga.”

 

“No thanks needed muttface. I kind of got you into this mess so hopefully I can help you make it less of a mess.”

 

I felt something warm and heavy lay over my shoulders and I turned to look into Mirdoriko’s worried green eyes, “Take strength in those around you,” and she leaned in pressing a kiss to my forehead.

 

I nodded and watched her return to the wagon I had lived in for these past few months and I yearned to return to it and yet I knew I couldn’t. I turned back around and walked side by side with Kouga who stayed with me and helped me back into Lord Pacchiri’s wagon. I passed Lord Pacchiri who stood outside beside one of his higher ranked guards on horseback.

 

Once inside I was helped into a sitting position between Kouga and Lady Amira on soft cushions and as I looked up I watched as Sesshomaru sat directly across from me. We sat there and eyed each other almost nervously as we waited for Lord Pacchiri to return and oversee us and this situation. I wasn’t sure if we actually needed others involved or whether we just needed time alone to talk and reacquaint ourselves.

 

Lord Pacchiri entered the carriage and the door was closed and as soon as he sat the carriage began moving once more.

 

“So where to begin…”, Lord Pacchiri’s words seemed to have startled us but only I had jumped at his booming voice which had startled me and made the little one within wiggle and move giving me some discomfort.

 

“Where was my wayward mate found,” asked Sesshomaru as he watched me rub my belly in the directions I felt the most movement.

 

“He was found by the troop we are currently traveling with in a small village by the shore in Hagi. I was told by the troop elder that he was a visitor and seemed to have made friends with the villagers before it was attacked.”

 

I continued ahead of Lord Pacchiri, “I don’t remember much. I was in and out of consciousness a few times. Midoriko had said I was playing hero and had helped to save two of the kids in our troop and I had been shot by a few arrows. She says she found me bleeding on the ground after the village had been burned down; my head busted in a few places.”

 

I sighed and rubbed my belly, “I woke up and was told that I was carrying and I realized I had no memory of anything from before waking in their wagon. I was given a place among their troop and they kept me fed and clothed. I started remembering little things and memories seem to come in spurts. There’s no saying if I’ll ever remember everything but when I remember something I write it down.”

 

Kouga frowned along with Sesshomaru and both seemed to turn and look at each other before looking back at me.

 

“Naomi says it is best that I take things slowly and things will come to me in time and that I have plenty to spare.”

 

Sesshomaru nodded, “Do you remember me or recognize me,” and as he asked he looked so serious and hopeful at the same time. I didn’t want to crush that hope.

 

“I knew of you…I had seen you in dreams and memories. I couldn’t put a name to your face. I know we have children together and that we’ve had our ups and downs.”

 

He frowned and as he looked into my eyes and I his he looked almost like a kicked puppy or like a child that had gotten caught being bad; so much remorse and sadness in those golden eyes.

 

“I wouldn’t have let you come so close to me let alone kiss me if I had thought you were a cruel or vicious individual. I am assuming it is your child in my belly which means I like or liked you enough to make it,” and as the words flowed from my mouth I watched as his eyes grew wide in astonishment and he nodded and looked over at my belly once more as if he yearned to touch it.

 

I wasn’t comfortable enough just yet to allow it and especially not in our current company so I simply gave a small grin.

 

“Should I keep the children from meeting you until you are comfortable” and as he asked I felt his concern and it made my grin widen.

 

“No, I am excited to meet…see them. I am worried that they will be upset that I don’t remember them. I don’t think any child wants to hear that they were forgotten, intentionally or not.”

 

“We will take it slow and explain what we can to them. They are your children so I am certain no hard feelings will remain if there are any.”

 

I took heart in Sesshomaru’s encouraging words. Where I thought we would remain in awkward silence instead Sesshomaru talked of our children and things they had done while I was away. It seemed to amuse not only Lord Pacchiri and Lady Amira but Kouga as well.

 

“Ryusei has your talent with the little ones. He has kept the twins busy and entertained though they miss you something terrible, especially at bed time. You have spoiled them much and I am a poor stand in but between Ryusei and Chiouka they seem to have all of your stories memorized and tell them while I listen.”

 

I could picture the boy’s young and full of energy and inquisitive as the played together and an image of this large and intimidating youkai male so proud and haughty looking sitting on their beds in an attempt to tell them bedtime stories brought a large smile to my face.

 

He had a light pink dusting his sculpted cheeks but he continued talking as the carriage continued moving. As he talked little memories returned and faces matched names and I simply enjoyed hearing his voice which seemed odd in its self.

 

We slowed and then came to a complete stop before a knock sounded on the door of the carriage.

 

“Lord Pacchiri, Lord Sesshomaru we have arrived at the castle gates,” called out the familiar voice of Lord Pacchiri’s guard.

 

Sesshomaru stood up and gave me an odd look caught between needing to go and wanting to stay.

 

“Don’t worry; we’ll make sure he makes it through the castle gate safely. We’ll see you inside the gate,” and even with Kouga’s words Sesshomaru still looked hesitant but he opened the carriage door and stepped out.

 

He turned to give me a nod and softly spoke once more, “I’ll see you inside.”

 

With those words he closed the door. It took a few minutes before the carriage once again began moving and as it did I saw three surprised and amused faces starring around at each other.

 

“I can say that in all the years I have known him that those are the most words I have ever heard him speak,” said Kouga with an awed grin.

 

“I can say the same. I wonder if you haven’t had a good influence on Sesshomaru,” said Lord Pacchiri.

 

“I was quite surprised at his open display of affection. I dare say you are quite loved and missed little one,” said Lady Amira with a wide smile.

 

I blushed and muttered softly…”And the four children and one on the way wasn’t proof enough.”

 

They laughed and I would have probably pouted a little at their amusement at my expense but we came to a stop then and the carriage door opened once more. I watched as Lord Pachhiri and Lady Amira stood and exited the carriage while I hung back a bit. I was helped into a standing position thanks to Kouga who stayed back with me while I fought my nerves.

 

“You shouldn’t be nervous. I’ve seen you with children of all types; you seem to have a way with them. I have no doubt that everything will come as second nature and if it doesn’t one step at a time mutt breath.”

 

I nodded and followed behind Kouga and was amazed to see that it was not Kouga who waited to lend me a helping hand down the steps but instead I saw the hand of Sesshomaru waiting for me so patiently. I took a deep breath and put my smaller hand in his which he gripped lightly as well as putting an arm under and around my other arm as he helped me step down.

 

Once I was on the paved entrance way I stared ahead and saw a small crowd, all of the heads covered in pale moonlight kissed hair and all of varying heights. Sesshomaru removed his arm from around my body but did not let go of my hand which he gave a reassuring squeeze as we walked towards those gathered.

 

The tallest and oldest looking male gathered there was handsome with the brightest smile I had ever seen. As he stood there dressed in a deep navy blue hakama set decorated in silver and gold stitching depicting the sun and moon with stars stitched here and there along the hem and over his shoulder which was now clad in armor similar to that of Sesshomaru’s but in a shinier silver and steel.

 

His long silver tresses were pulled high at the back of his head in a ponytail leaving bangs and the sides to caress his face; the sides of his hair were nearly as long as my own as they cascaded down over his shoulders and chest. As I looked up and saw his indigo crescent moon hidden behind his long bangs and crimson markings along his high cheek bones I was certain this was my oldest, my Ryusei.

 

“Otoosan… no…Chichiue,” he smiled down at me which was amusing to see that I had a son nearly a foot taller than me. He looked me over and his eyes widened when he saw my belly and yet he still leaned in and gave me a big hug. His scent was the musk of a nearly mature dog youkai with hints of pine, cedar and a bit of citrus. As his arms encircled me I let go of Sesshomaru’s hand and wrapped my arms around him in return as I allowed memories to flow through my mind of this once small child who had tried to be my protector.

 

Ryusei let go and I smiled widely, “I am glad that you’ve returned.”

 

“Me too,” and as the words left my mouth I knew them to be true.

 

He let go and stepped back and I saw a beautiful young woman her skin paler than my own with beautiful almond shaped gold eyes ringed in scarlet that seemed to make her eyes stand out even more than they already did. Her beautiful wavy hair was half pinned up; mostly the top and sides in a beautiful and ornate hair piece with citrine jewels that dangled along with pearls down the sides of her face matching her long pearl drop earrings, leaving the rest to fall down her back almost to her hips. Her bangs parted in the middle revealing the indigo moon in the middle of her forehead that seemed a bright contrast with the crimson around her eyes. She had also been blessed with small crimson lines along her fine cheek bones which seemed paler than those of her sires and older brothers.

 

I had seen the younger and more childish version of this beautiful woman in my memories but now she was far from those memories. She was intriguing and beautiful and had a soft smile that touched her eyes as well as her small pouty crimson lips. She seemed to glow in her pale pink and deep golden yellow kimono with its soft layers of white and its intricate gold and silver embroidery depicting flowers in bloom with butterflies in flight, which seemed to hug the soft beginnings of feminine curves.

 

“Chichiue…”

 

And as the soft words left her mouth I found myself with an arm full of the beautiful woman who I knew was my daughter.

 

“Chiouka...”

 

Her name was as beautiful as she was and I was amused to see that the scent that surrounded her was that of soft cherry blossoms in full bloom with a softer scent of cedar and citrus.

 

“You have become quite the beautiful woman,” and as I spoke those words she stepped back dabbing at her eyes and smiled brightly at me as she did so.

 

“We will talk more later, go see Hade and Hisso before they implode,” and she quickly embraced me once more before stepping back to stand next to her older brother.

 

And without even fully turning to face them I heard the loud choruses of “Chichiue” as two young boys wrapped themselves around my body; one from the left and one from the right. I almost stumbled but luckily I felt a steadying hand on my back keeping me firmly standing as the two held me tightly.

 

“We missed you whole bunches! We asked about you every day! Didn’t we Hisso,” and as I looked down my right side into the golden eyes of my loud and excited Haderashi I felt my heart squeeze tightly and I felt foolish for having left, even if I couldn’t recall the reason why.

 

I felt vigorous nodding on my left side and turned to see the sad golden eyes of my quiet and reserved Hissorashi.

 

Both had grown a bit taller in my absence and much like their older siblings they too were developing their crimson markings, both had the crimson around their eyes but they seemed to have mirrored markings along their cheekbones; Haderashi had two small thin ragged lines under his left eye and his brother Hissorashi had them under his right eye. Both also lacked the indigo moon, leaving their pale foreheads blank and visible since both seemed to have a widows peak which parted directly in the middle of their foreheads.

 

Their hair for the most part was pulled back and plaited in the back of their heads in thick braids that just came past their shoulders.

 

I patted their heads and held each in an arm against me until finally they pulled back wiping their eyes and sniffling. I smiled down at them and took in the sight of them in their matching pine green hakama with red, copper and silver dragon flies and birds in flight stitched along the hems.

 

“Come boys, why don’t you lead your Chichiue into the castle and take him to his quarters while I see to our guests and their lodgings. I am sure a warm bath and a short rest would be most welcome after his travels.”

 

They grinned back at their sire and each took a hand and I allowed them to lead me through the doorway while they excitedly chatted; though I suppose I should say Haderashi excitedly chattered and every so often Hissorashi would say a short word or two and nod.

 

They lead me through hallways and up stairs and while they did so I looked around me and saw things I recognized and things I didn’t.

 

We came to a doorway which was opened for us by young serving girls who smiled brightly at us and bowed happily as they stepped out of the way revealing a large wooden tub which was halfway filled with steaming hot water and was still being filled.

 

Hade and Hisso stayed with me until the tub was filled and then they tugged on my sleeves until I leaned over and I was amused and surprised as I was given a kiss on each cheek at the same time by my adorable and energetic sons before they ran out the door promising to see me at dinner.

 

I stared at the tub filled with steaming water and watched as a young woman with gentle brown eyes and soft wavy brownish red hair poured oils into the water before setting a pile of thick towels by the tub on a wooden stool before turning to add a few dried orange peels and rose buds to the water. She stood and smiled brightly in my direction, “Enjoy your bath InuYasha-sama. Call if you need anything. I am glad to see you are home.”

 

I watched her turn to leave and saw not one but two coppery red white tipped fox tails peeking out from under her kimono and a memory of seeing those tails sparked a memory.

 

“Reika…” at my soft whisper she turned around and smiled brightly.

 

“Yes InuYasha-sama?”

 

“Never mind, thank you.”

 

She smiled brightly and bowed, “No thanks necessary but you are welcome none the less InuYasha-sama,” and with that she left the room.

 

With nothing but the quiet around me I stripped down and eased myself into the comfort of the warm water as I washed and allowed my thoughts and memories intertwine.

 

 

To Be Continued…

 

Thank you all for reading and reviewing.

 

Writing to one of my favorite Japanese pop songs tonight…

 

“Yoru” by Vistlip. It’s the ending theme song for Akatsuki No Yona. Such a pretty song and so nostalgic so I found it appropriate for this chapter.

 

More to come~!!!

 

Kat

 

 

 

 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32: I know I can’t be with you

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 32: I know I can’t be with you

 

Life is certainly strange with its twists and turns. 

I had finished my warm scented bath after washing myself from head to toe. I marveled in the fresh scent of citrus and rosehips that now covered me. It seemed so foreign and yet oh so familiar. I had wrapped myself in one of the overly large fluffy towels after patting my body dry and running it over my long locks a few times. 

I was amazed to see that a large clean cream colored inner robe had been placed atop the large bed in the sleeping room of the quarters. 

The robe was soft and also smelled of rosehips letting me know that this life was far from the one I had been living but I couldn’t say I disliked it, it was simply different. I changed into a clean fundoshi which had also been set out for me before I slipped the robe on and tied it as tightly as I could around my large body thanks to the unborn child beneath my heart. I was warm and clean and so I sat on the plush bed and looked around the room that had once been mine or so I was told. 

A dressing table stood across from the bed with bottles half full of varying types of oils and scents and on that table was a fine chair pushed in and in front of that chair on that table laid a large brush and three combs of varying sizes and types along with string and leather and ornamental hair combs. I looked up and saw my curious wide golden eyed face staring back at me. 

I heard the door to my quarters open and looked up to see Reika enter along with another young girl who had soft brown locks pulled up into braided pigtails on the sides of her head allowing long chocolate brown floppy bunny ears to easily be seen atop her head. She also looked familiar and I fought to remember her name. 

I noticed each girl held a brightly colored hakama set in each of their small arms. They came forward and laid them across my bed giving me a full view of them. The one Reika had carried was a deep red with softer shades of red and white throughout with camellias in silver and red embroidery throughout the garments hem and up and over one shoulder. The other was done in soft shades baby blue with white and a darker blue that was not quite as dark as Ryusei’s navy blue with silver and white stitching and embroidery of snowflakes in varying patterns so beautiful that you could see the time spent on each snowflake. Both were beautiful but neither looked familiar. 

“Which would you prefer to wear InuYasha-sama,” asked Reika giving me a bright smile. 

The red called to me and yet I found the pale blue more calming and so I chose that one instead. I stood up and was helped into the outfit with quick and skillful hands and then I was directed to a full length piece of reflective glass. As I looked at the image of myself I couldn’t help but think that I now suited the regal youkai that was supposed to be my mate a bit more now. 

“Now we’ll do your hair,” said Reika excitedly which made me smile. Her enthusiasm was certainly adorable. 

I was lead to the chair at the table against the wall and I was helped into it and no sooner had I sat down then I felt the gentle tugging of brushes through my long tresses and the feel of well oiled fingers moving along my scalp and beyond as the smell of citrus and rosehips filled my nostrils and the room. 

As I sat there I could recall the many times I had sat in this chair while Reika worked her gentle fingers through my hair creating beautiful art with my long and oddly enough; short locks popped into my memory. I closed my eyes and felt her twist and tug gently, feeling my pliant hair take shape in her hands and I felt myself start to fall asleep as she worked. I felt and heard the soft jingle of hair ornaments before her happy voice rang out with a jovial “all done”. 

I was handed a hand mirror which I looked into a bit surprised. The sides had been pulled up and into intricate braids and twists and then pinned in place by beautiful carved bone and shell combs that shined with sapphires and pearls that hung down at the sides that caught the light and shined brightly among my remaining downed tresses. I was certainly a sight to see and my expression must have said as much. 

“Oh, we are not quite done yet Lord InuYasha,” and as she said it she lifted the all too familiar coal eyeliner and I closed my eyes knowing the routine and turned in my seat so that she could do as Kiyomi and Kiyoko had often done in the troop. She applied the coal and I felt a slick substance that tasted of honey and beeswax along my lips. I opened my eyes and lifted the mirror once more to see that odd ethereal being staring back at me, with coal-lined eyes and moistened pink lips. 

“We are all done Lord InuYasha. It is almost time for dinner; would you like an escort down to the dinning room?”

I shook my head “no” and smiled before answering, “No that’s alright. I think I would like to reacquaint myself with everything.”

Reika smiled somewhat confused but nodded, “If there is anything you need just call for me.”

I offered my thanks and watched as she left my quarters. I sat at my dressing table and looked at each bottle of liquid and even smelling some and picked up and looked at the different hair combs and sticks. I opened the drawers of my dressing table finding even more hair sticks and pins and oils. I stood and found my way to the closet and opened it seeing woven baskets and feeling curious I took the lid off of one finding a fine kimono in shades of yellow and orange folded nicely inside. I replaced the lid and opened another finding yet another finely made kimono in shades of white and black also folded neatly inside. I opened one more and was surprised to find an old tattered red hakama set that held my scent. It was a soft material and yet it felt tough and looked as though it had seen its fair share of adventures. I smiled as a memory of wearing a similar outfit as a child and gently replaced the lid before leaving the closet and closing the door. I explored the rest of my quarters and eventually decided to venture out of them. 

I walked along the hallways and looked over every picture and artifact as I did, finding myself remembering one or two of the royal youkai in the paintings but not all. I found myself outside a large set of doors not far from my own quarters and something in me made me open them. I peeked inside and finding no sign of maid or servant I called out a soft hello and receiving no answer I entered. I softly closed the door behind me and entered the small receiving area and saw that it was similar to the own in my own quarters. I saw nothing out of place and no actual sign of whose quarters these could be. I took a deep sniff as I paced and tried to decipher the scents that filtered through my nose. I could decipher my own scent though it seemed stale and old letting me know that at some point in time I had spent time in these quarters which perhaps is why I felt the urge to enter.

Emboldened by the discovery I made my way through another doorway and found myself in a large room with an even larger bed covered in blankets and sheets a deep shade of red. Here in this room I could smell my stale scent as well as what seemed to be the stale scent of Sesshomaru. I paced his room noting his large closet; which much like my own, upon further inspection contained a multitude of woven baskets containing fine clothing of various types. 

I closed the closet door and found myself exploring the dressing table and an odd scent caught my attention…something that smelled strongly of me was coming from the top drawer and I pulled open the drawer and there in side was a coil of silver hair partly braided and tied together at one end with a few strands of hair. I gently picked it up by the tied end and felt the strands slip through the fingers of my other hand and as I looked it over and its scent filled my nose I realized it was my own hair. As I looked down at it and felt it pull through my fingers a memory came to me of a shaving knife being pulled through tresses I had pulled over my shoulder until the back of my head was shorn short and I tied them together and upon seeing Sesshomaru I had thrown him the gathered locks in exchange for a younger Ryusei who ran into my arms. 

So…much sadness and rage in the memory and yet Sesshomaru had kept the locks, they smelled of deeply of his scent and I couldn’t help but find it a little bit endearing. I returned the tied locks of hair to its resting place in the drawer and pushed it closed. I looked around the room once more before making my way out, making sure that I had left nothing behind or out of place before closing the door to the quarters closed and continued on my exploration until I came to the stairs and followed them down. 

I came to the bottom of the stairs and saw the wide smiling face of a young man with bright shinning brown eyes and freckles across his high cheekbones and as I looked him over he bowed at the waist and looked up at me almost reverently. He was quite the figure in his black hakama set complete with gleaming black armor lined with what looked to be a cerulean type of jade but as I came closer I knew it to be the carcass or shell of an insect youkai known for its impenetrable carapace. 

“Hello Lord InuYasha, I am glad to see you home. I was told of your situation and I would like to introduce myself. I am Kohaku brother to one of your good friends…”

Before he could finish I cut him off, “Sango.”

He looked slightly startled but then his bright smile returned and I saw the image of Sango’s of smile. 

“I am beginning to remember bits and pieces and being here seems to help jog my memories.”

He nodded and extended his arm in the direction to the right, “This way to the dining area.”

I nodded and he walked beside me as we both made our way there. 

“Have the children been informed of my condition,” I asked somewhat nervous at once again seeing my children, especially Hade and Hisso. 

“They have, Lord Sesshomaru pulled them aside and explained to them your ailment and its cause.”

I gripped the extra fabric of my sleeves and finally brought them across my stomach as I walked, “How did they take it?”

And at that question Kohaku stopped and I followed his example looking up into suddenly serious brown eyes.

“They were upset but not because of the loss of memory though I am sure that was part of it. They were saddened that you had been hurt. You are a big part of this family and if it’s not being too forward I would like to say that I and many others in this castle agree that you are the heart of not only this family but of this castle.”

At Kohaku’s words my chest ached and I felt my eyes heat as I nodded and rubbed my belly at a loss for words.

“We have become quite accustomed to your presence from the lowliest of staff member to your brother and mate himself. We all knew you needed a break from the castle and the politics but we selfishly missed you while you were gone. To have you back is in itself a relief and we would take your return in anyway we could have it.”

I nodded and quickly wiped away the moisture gathered in my eyes and nodded clearing my throat, “Well then I will try my hardest not to disappoint.”

He smiled widely up at me and shook his head before he started to walk once more, “You need not try, you need only be present and be who you are and all will be as it should be.”

Kohaku certainly was wise for one who had only lived all of twenty and some odd years. I was over two hundred and still learning. 

As we came to the dining room I saw two well dressed guardsmen in full regalia with swords at their sides bow and pull the doors open so that we could step through them. 

Once inside the dining room I looked forward and saw a long western style table covered with plates and dishes and bowls and at the far end sat Sesshomaru in a hakama set done in the most beautiful and crisp of whites and a bright shade of crimson that matched the sparkling camellia’s embroidered into the white on his left shoulder and down along his chest. His hair was in its usual style but if you looked close enough you could see that it had been oiled and brushed making it look even more magnificent. 

Beside him was an empty seat on the left which he smoothly lifted his hand and indicated was my seat. I nodded letting him know I had seen before walking fully into the room and making my way to the table. As I did so I looked at the faces around the table and was amused to see the troop on the right side of the table dressed in kimono and hakama’s of the finest caliber. Everyone looked splendid, even Hiroaki who looked somewhat uncomfortable but he had his beautiful lion visage out for all to see and it made me smile to see him free of his hood and face covering. He had his wild mane of hair pulled back into a ponytail against his neck and wore a deep copper colored hakama set that seemed to make his fiery gold eyes stand out most. 

He sat beside Lord Pacchiri, his wife and Kouga whom sat at Sesshomaru’s right. On Hiroaki’s other side sat Midoriko, Kiyoko, Kiyomi, Naomi and then Chiasa and Masa and then across from them sat my two youngest Hade and Hisso and then a beautiful older woman with long flowing white locks with the sides braided and pulled back behind her head with a set of deep ebony eyes. Her kimono of deep black and pale blue made her pale complexion and eyes stand out even more and as I looked at her I found a memory surfacing of her at my side while I labored and her name echoed in my mind. 

“Aoiyuki…”

She smiled brightly and nodded her head in acknowledgement, “It is nice to see you have returned InuYasha.”

I returned her smile and looked around me at the grand room with its occupant’s new and old and felt myself nod even though I still felt uncertain about my feelings involving this castle and those in it. 

I sat down next to Sesshomaru whose eyes seemed to bore into me, their heat causing me to blush slightly. I spared him a glance and gave him a soft smile before looking away and at those across from us in the troop whom also seemed to be staring quite openly at me, though their stares weren’t quite as heated and more surprise and awe. 

“I must say that you certainly seem to glow in this castle,” said Hiroaki with a awed smile. 

I blushed and fought a scowl, “I am still the same person, just in finer clothes.”

At that I received a few chuckles and I was surprised to see that Sesshomaru was chuckling at my expense as well. 

“That is all too true, InuYasha” Sesshomaru said lifting his glass in a small toast to my words.

The others joined and a soft echoing of words followed before they downed their drinks. I sighed and lifted my own small glass of what smelled of sake and drank it quickly, hoping its warmth would allow others to mistake my heated cheeks for drunkenness and not embarrassment. Servants refilled everyone’s glasses and food was served. 

I ate while I listened in on the small conversations going on around the table, my ears swiveling to catch words here and there. Hiroaki talking to Ryusei about life on the road, Lord Pacchiri telling Sesshomaru of the wondrous performance he saw the night he found me, and Sesshomaru asked if a small performance could take place during their stay and they happily agreed. 

I was only gifted one glass of sake and a cup of watered down wine before I was given a warm cup of green tea. I drank both and felt the little one within wiggle and kick and stretch almost to the point of pain. I was glad to be in a warm home and not the back of a wagon when this small one decides to make an appearance which I was betting would be soon. I tried to cup my belly as a deep ache filled my belly that stretched along my back. It was painful enough that a small gasp left my mouth. 

I closed my eyes as I rode the pain out and after a few seconds I felt another hand join my own and upon opening my eyes and looking up I saw Aoiyuki stooped down at my side watching me with a soft smile. 

“It seems you might be having false contractions but if you are comfortable enough I would like to examine you just to be sure,” and I found myself nodding in agreement to her words. 

“Would you like anyone to be with you,” she softly whispered and after a moments thought I looked over at Midoriko and Naomi before looking at Sesshomaru. 

Words were not needed as all three stood and I was helped into a standing position after the pain had lessened some. 

“Please continue eating and enjoy yourselves,” Sesshomaru spoke as I was escorted out of the dining room and led back up the stairs in what I realized was the direction of what I knew to be “my” quarters. 

It was Sesshomaru who opened the doors and stood aside to allow everyone to enter and after I walked through with Aoiyuki at my side I heard the door click closed and I was lead to my bed as another aching pain laced through my back and midsection just a bit stronger than the last. I took a deep breath and rubbed my belly in the hopes I could ease it somewhat. I had four pairs of eyes watching as I breathed and rubbed my belly through the pain and when it ended I was helped out of my outer layer of clothes so that only my inner robe remained and then I was helped into a laying position. Naomi stood at my side with Midoriko while Sesshomaru came to sit on my bed at my other side and gently took my other hand which had nervously gripped the bedding. 

He gently squeezed my hand and I looked up into calm golden eyes that radiated reassurance while Aoiyuki’s small firm hands prodded and probed at my belly and pelvis. I felt a blanket cover my lower half and she gently pried my legs apart as her slightly chilly hands probed my most of private of places. She did this and I squeezed Sesshomaru’s hand as his fingers gently rubbed my knuckles and I felt myself pulling comfort from this man whom I could barely recall and yet I didn’t want him to stop his touches or leave my side. 

She finished her exam and I was allowed to close my legs after she set my clothing straight. She came to stand next to Sesshomaru and gave me a tender smile.

“Your body is not ready just yet and the little one has yet to turn downwards so I am certain your pains are false labor but should they persist and increases in pain please make sure I am informed sooner rather than later.”

I nodded and inhaled and exhaled as I worked to the weight in my chest. 

“Also I know it is nearly impossible given our current predicament but please try to prevent any further stress and strain. It is unhealthy and can cause an early labor. This little one feels healthy but it is best to let them choose when they’re ready to arrive and not hasten their arrival if at all possible.”

“I will try my hardest but I can’t make any promises.” 

She smiled and nodded at my words, “You have a talent for finding trouble so I will take what I can. Rest and relax as much as possible. I shall check on you in the morning,” she gently patted my arm and I watched as she left the room. 

“Since you are in good hands we shall take our leave as well. Sleep well young one,” and I watched as Naomi stood and Midoriko as well. 

“Take care of our precious Shiro.” 

Midoriko smiled down at me after looking a confused Sesshomaru in the eye and she followed Naomi out of the room, the soft click of the door echoing in the now quiet of the room.

Sesshomaru slowly released my hand and he stood up, his face showing nothing as he stared down at me. 

“Is there anything you need before I take me leave?”

As the words left his mouth I felt a small bit of panic and it must have shown on my face because he blinked and looked lost and confused. 

I lifted my hand and held it up so that he took it in his hand once more, “Stay…please.”

The panic left his face and he nodded gently squeezing my hand before letting go. I watched as he took off his hakama and outer kimono leaving only his inner robe on. I scooted over so that he had room and I was in the middle of the overly large bed. I slid my legs beneath the heavy blankets and tried to get comfortable as the room dimmed. I looked up and watched as Sesshomaru extinguished the candles throughout the room until he held the remaining one in his hand. He set it on a small end table and blew it out leaving the room in darkness. 

I felt the heavy blankets lift and heard the sound of legs sliding against the blankets and felt the draft of cold air as he joined me under the covers. 

I was nervous and yet it all felt so familiar and my need to have him close overwhelmed my nervousness. He felt like comfort and normality and so I found my body moving closer to his warmth and soon I was next to him and the two of us were almost like newlyweds; desperate for closeness and intimacy and yet afraid to take the first step. 

I lifted my hand and found his arm and gently touched it, trailing my fingers along it until finally fingers met and entangled once more. 

“I’m sorry…,” I whispered softly feeling my cheeks heat and glad for the dark. 

“For what,” he returned.

“For asking you to stay with me,” and as I said it I felt selfish and silly at the same time. 

“You need not be. I am as desperate for your touch as you are mine.”

At those words I felt a tingle of happiness and excitement and some relief. 

“Part of it is our mated bond.”

“And the rest,” I asked afraid of to hear his answer and yet I wanted to know. 

“Emotions and feelings that there are no words for or simply need no words,” and his answer was sure and strong and left no room for doubt. 

I smiled and slowly turned on my side so that I could lay my head on his shoulder which seemed so right and perfect, like I was supposed to fit perfectly against him; two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. I felt my eyes grow heavy as I lay against him and I felt him shift so that his arms came to wrap around me, encompassing me in his arms. I snuggled and allowed his scent and warmth pull me into the comfort of sleep. 

To Be Continued….

So I had the flu…I got better and decided to go through all the chapters and correct as many mistakes as possible and repost or replace chapters…took me over a week. And as soon as I was finished I started writing. So…here we are and then my coworker was fired and I’m doing twice as much work and thus when I came home I was literally falling asleep on my laptop. 

Here’s hoping I get the next chapter out this coming week if not sooner. 

Thank you for all the reviews and saves. 

Kat


	33. Chapter 33: I do what I have to do

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 33: I do what I have to do

 

I awoke ensconced in the musk of dog mixed with the scent of pine, the soft earth on a rainy day, citrus and all that Sesshomaru encompassed. His arms held me against his chest which rose and fell with his breathing while he still slept and as I lay there in his arms so many questions flittered through my mind and yet I couldn’t bring myself to wake him just yet to ask them. It was so peaceful to lay there wrapped in his scent with his warm breath gently rustling my hair and the sound of his heart beating against my ear. 

It seemed right to be in his arms and as I had slept in them I had dreamed so many happy memories. Memories where this youkai who seemed so barren of emotions seemed to give small grins and his eyes twinkled ever so slightly with what could be happiness and contentment. 

I felt his breathing change and heard his heart quicken just slightly and as I felt him wake his arms stretched over my body and tightened minutely after their loosening, as if afraid I wouldn’t be there when he awoke. It was a moment before he finally spoke. 

“Have you been awake long?”

I shook my head and cleared my throat, “Only a few minutes.”

“Did you sleep well,” he asked with his voice thickened from sleep. 

“I did. I had very peaceful dreams.”

“That is good.”

Silence hung in the air and we both seemed to content to lie there in each others arms and yet we both seemed just a bit stiff and as I lay there so many questions ran through my mind. 

“Can you tell me about yourself,” and as I asked I felt silly asking this man whose child resided in my body and whose other children I had carried and bore slept in rooms not too far away from my own; to tell me about himself. 

“What would you like to know,” he asked as his arms loosened allowing me to scoot into a sitting position which he assisted me with. 

“Everything you are willing to tell me,” I answered as I sat against pillows propped up against the beds headboard. 

He nodded and turned so that he lay on his side with his yukata parted revealing a large expanse of his pale and sculpted chest. He closed his eyes momentarily and opened them looking up and into my eyes. 

“I was born for the sake of politics to my mother; Inukimi, and our father Inu No Taishou. I cannot say that my early years were miserable or a trial. I was loved by both our parents and since both were lost in their own personal endeavors I was cared for by nannies and servants like most well-bred children.”

He gently lifted his left hand to caress my cheek chasing away the sadness I had shown, “It is not how all royalty are raised but it is how I grew up. I was a solemn child and out to prove myself whether for their attention or to simply prove I would best our father one day.”

I found myself nuzzling into his hand and holding it in place as his expression seemed to go almost emotionless and I found it all too achingly familiar. 

“Our father had met and fallen in love with a beautiful human princess and though they could not marry in his or her land they loved each other and you were created.”

I stared down at his deep golden eyes that almost resembled honey as they darkened with the hurt and bitterness of his past. 

“Our father fought the great dragon and was mortally wounded and yet he still went to save you and your mother. He died the day you were born and I am ashamed now to say that I hated you and her for it.”

I shook my head as my chest tightened at his words, “If I had been in your shoes I’m betting I would have felt the same.”

He gently moved his thumb over my cheeks and wiped away my gathering tears; which I blamed my hormones for, and then he removed his hand from mine sat up and against the headboard. 

“I was not kind to you or other hanyou and I’ve done many cruel things to you over the years.”

I looked down at my lap which seemed almost filled by my belly where my active pup seemed to stretch and move as uncomfortable with the tension in its sire’s words as I was. 

“Did the me from before forgive you,” and as I asked him I placed my hands on my belly before looking up and into his eyes which seemed to expand in surprise at my question. 

He sat there speechless for a moment as if surprised I had even thought to ask such a thing and finally I watched him give the softest smile that seemed so out of place on his usually stoic face and yet it was a welcome and beautiful sight. 

“I believe you did. Before you left we spent hours in this bed connecting our bodies and I believe even our hearts desires.”

I smiled and once again took his hand in my own and laid it across my belly where his child insisted on stretching. I watched his hand rise and fall with my breathing and the none too subtle kicks and jabs of his child and looked once more at our connected hands before looking up into his face which seemed to be filled with awe and amazement. 

“It may sound odd or even crazy but as I looked at you I had the hardest time trying to connect the “you” now to the “you” in my older memories. I had a feeling that this child growing in my body was not put there with hate, loathing or cruelty but hope, happiness and love.”

Sesshomaru nodded and we sat there for a few minutes with his hand under mine following the kicks and movements of our child and we probably would have sat there longer but my stomach growled loudly. 

I blushed and then startled at the sudden expulsion of breath which was soon followed by a small chuckle. I looked up into Sesshomaru’s face seeing him working to school his features before clearing his throat. 

“I suppose I should see if we can get breakfast in bed,” and as he said it he leaned over and gave me a small kiss on the cheek and then moved to my lips with a soft and chaste kiss that warmed my lips long after he moved away and slid from my bed. 

I watched as he flipped his hair over his shoulder and made his way to the door and opened it, exiting the bedroom and into the receiving area. I heard soft voices and the smell of food wafted into my bedroom making my stomach growl once more before Sesshomaru entered the room with a tray of two steaming bowls of miso soup, two bowls of white rice and instead of fish I was given the treat of boiled eggs and what looked to be a few pickles. 

“Reika said the cook made your favorites from when you carried the twins,” and as he said it he gently set the tray on the bed between us after he sat down. 

I lifted my bowl of miso soup and ate it slowly savoring the all too familiar taste and sighed in happiness once I had emptied the bowl. I ate the pickles just as quickly, humming happily as I did so. When my pickles were gone I mixed my egg into my rice and dug heartily into it with little sighs feeling my belly fill satisfying the angry beast that was my appetite as well as the small one within who seemed to calm as food filled my belly and more than likely theirs as well. 

As my chopsticks hit the bottom of the bowl I lay back further and patted my belly happily. I looked over as a small snicker was let loose and saw that Sesshomaru had just finished his miso and was working on his rice while grinning over at me. 

I blushed and gave him a small glare, “What!?”

He shook his head, “I am always amazed to see that you take such enjoyment from food after all these years.”

“And you don’t,” I asked curiously with just a hint of defensiveness. 

“No not for the longest time; though…I find I am starting to enjoy it once more in your company.”

I blushed and lay my arms across my belly, “I can’t imagine I would lose interest in food.”

Sesshomaru smiled and lifted a pickle in his chopsticks and held it out near my mouth. I opened my mouth allowing him to feed me the tasty treat which sent tingles along my tongue and made me grin. 

“Older youkai can survive on small meals every so often and usually do just that. I have gone a month or more without food and I could probably go longer without it.” 

I swallowed and Sesshomaru handed me a steaming cup of tea which I took and sipped slowly. While I sipped my tea I watched Sesshomaru finish his rice and his eggs and in-between he fed me the rest of his pickles which I ate happily and without fuss. 

When we were done eating Sesshomaru piled our dishes on the tray and set it in the receiving room. I heard soft voices and I took advantage of Sesshomaru’s absence and stood finding the bedpan and relieved my full and aching bladder. I rinsed my hands in the basin of clean water left out for that purpose and dried my hands on the towel also provided. 

I waddled my way through the bedroom and came to the receiving area where I saw Sesshomaru standing with Hade and Hisso, both boys had their arms wrapped around his legs with wide begging eyes as they tugged on his arms. 

I took in the scene and couldn’t help but laugh out loud catching their attention. 

“What is wrong, why do the two of you look so distraught?”

Sesshomaru frowned and then closed his eyes momentarily before sighing and opening his eyes looking down at the boys, “Okay, you can come with us for your ChiChue’s present.”

At that I blinked and gave them a confused smile.

“Present?”

Sesshomaru smiled and leaned over lifting both boys into his arms holding one in each arm as he turned to give me a small grin, “Feel up for a bit of a walk?”

I looked down at myself dressed in my under robe and then looked at Sesshomaru seeing that he too was only dressed in his yukata. I was about to answer when I felt the warm weight of a heavy kimono draped over my shoulders. I turned and saw Ryusei’s smiling face looking down at me. 

“Come on ChiChuei, let us go see your present. Otoosan worked hard to make sure it would be finished in time for your return.”

I shrugged and rubbed my belly and nodded, “Why not, it’s not like I have anything else to do.”

I watched as Ryusei opened the door and motioned for Sesshomaru to exit which he did with the twins in his arms as I followed behind them. I heard Ryusei close the door as we walked through the hallway until we came to the stairs. I felt a hand on my elbow helping to steady me as I walked down the stairs and heard Ryusei’s soft voice in my ear. 

“Be careful, sometimes these stairs are a little slippery in the winter.”

I nodded as I slowly made my way down the stairs. Once we were down on the first floor I watched and followed as Sesshomaru made his way to another set of stairs that I had only seen the servants and guards use. He turned to look back at me and upon seeing us right behind him he proceeded down the second set of stairs. As we walked down the stairs I held tight to Ryusei’s arm and stepped slowly and carefully and as I felt my chest heave as the little one within compressed and wiggled putting weight on my lungs and my feet began to ache something awful. 

“I promise it’s worth the walk, Chichue.”

I nodded and soon we came to the bottom of the stairs, “If there is another set of stairs I am going to have to decline or someone is going to have to carry me.” 

As I said it I stretched and tried to work the ache from my back and hips. I noted that the room seemed chilly and yet I could feel a source of heat and humidity coming from the direction in front of us.

Ryusei grinned and patted my arm as we continued on passing by a room that contained many bottles and barrels of what smelled of wine and sake and another room which held barrels of pickles and other foods that needed cold storage and the further we went the warmer it became. 

I watched as Sesshomaru stepped inside a curtained off area and as Ryusei stepped aside I entered finding what looked to be small benches complete with taps and wooden buckets, towels and rags in clean piles against the wall in carved out nooks. I glanced farther across the room and saw that in the ground was a carved hot spring complete with a natural spout pouring fresh water into the pool that had been carved into the floor. I was breathless as I looked around the room doing a small circle taking it all in. 

“Otoosan said you always seemed to enjoy hot springs on your travels and we have a natural occurring spring beneath the castle so asked his advisors and even human architects if it was a possibility to build such a spring here. And after much research and many a youkai and humans aide this was constructed.”

I felt my chest warm and my eyes became cloudy with unshed tears which I quickly wiped away, “hormones…” I said softly as I watched Sesshomaru give me a small smile as he set Hade and Hisso on the floor. 

I helped the boys undress and between Sesshomaru and my self we gave the boys a quick scrub down while Ryusei bathed himself. Ryusei took the boys and lead them into the spring to soak and play and while he did that I found myself working up the courage to undress which I did so slowly, folding my clothes and placing them in one of the empty nooks. I felt awkward with my belly heavy with child and oddly unattractive and yet I felt Sesshomaru’s eyes on me and when I turned around I saw that he too had undressed and wrapped a towel around his lower body while I held a larger towel over my belly and lower body. 

He gently took my hand and led me to a bench and helped me into a sitting position. I shivered as his hands ghosted over my body and then I felt a warm rag touch my back as he gently began to wash my back and shoulders stopping every so often to explore my back as he did so. He touched the shoulder that had been bandaged when I had first woken up in the back of the troop’s wagon and then he touched a different spot a few inches away. 

“These are new,” he said softly.

“I was told by Midoriko that I had been shot through the shoulder by an arrow and was struck twice more after the one that pierced me through.”

“You are strong and yet so reckless, you cannot blame me for being afraid when you leave my side.”

I smiled and held the towel closer to my belly, “Yes but one cannot live forever in a cage.”

“I have learned this,” he said softly.

He continued scrubbing and stopped once more at the shoulder where his mating mark stood out for all to see and he gently caressed it causing me to shiver as he did so. 

His hands left my body and he pushed the water bucket so that it was in front of me along with a bar of soap and the rag. 

“If we were alone I would see to your front as well but alas we are not so I shall leave it to you,” and he gave a small grin as I blushed. 

I made quick work of washing the rest of my body and once I was cleaned I pulled my long locks together and then twisted them until they were tight and wrapped them into a large bun atop my head and out of the way. I saw that Sesshomaru had finished washing his front and I cleared my throat so that he looked in my direction. 

“If you sit in front of me I’ll wash your back and shoulders.”

He nodded and did just as I asked and I washed his broad and muscled back and shoulders and saw my own mark on his shoulder and as I looked at it I did much the same as he had and I traced my teeth marks causing him to shudder lightly and as I looked at the mark a short memory of my mouth on his body and his flesh giving way flashed through my mind. I rinsed his shoulder and he stood and held out both hands, helping me into a standing position.

I waddled with him at my side and was helped into the spring one careful step at a time until the water came up midway over my belly. We came to a shelf that allowed me to sit once more and I leaned back allowing the water to steal the aches and pains from my body and mind. 

Hade and Hisso came doggy paddling over to me and both seemed amazed by my large belly and I placed their tiny hands on it and they waited with baited breath and were awarded by a kick here, a stretch there and I pointed out a foot or hand which made their bright golden eyes widen comically. 

“You two shared space in there at one time,” I said with a smile. 

“We were in there,” asked Hade in awe.

“You were,” I said rubbing my belly as I answered. 

“Was your belly this big when we were in there,” asked Hisso softly.

“Oh, it was even bigger,” I said with a laugh. 

“Ryusei was in there,” the two asked at the same time looking back at their older brother.

Ryusei and Sesshomaru joined me in laughter and I nodded, “Yes but he was just a tiny baby just like you and two were and this one currently is.”

“And Chiouka too,” asked Hade.

“Chiouka too,” said Sesshomaru with a grin.

“Will it be a girl or a boy,” asked Hisso as he stared mesmerized by the movement under his palm.

“We won’t know until he or she is born. Which would you prefer,” I asked out of curiosity. 

“A boy,” shouted Hade excitedly.

“It doesn’t matter,” said Hisso surprising us all. 

“I’ll play with the baby even if it’s a girl,” and such a soft statement left us all amazed. 

“Then I have no worries because this baby will have so many amazing brothers and an amazing sister to look after them,” I said gently caressing both boys cheeks. 

“And on that note we should head to bed boys.”

Before either boy could voice their complaints Ryusei cut them off, “And if you dry off properly and dress quickly I’ll give you a quick lesson in swordsmanship.”

I chuckled as both boys rushed to the waters edge and climbed up the small stone carved steps out of the spring and ran naked over to the towels. 

“They remind me of you,” Sesshomaru said softly as he smiled watching the two of them dry themselves quite messily and yet they did as asked. 

“I can see it. I can only imagine I was as rambunctious as they are when I was their age.”

I watched as they skillfully put in their fundoshi and both were helped into their kimono and hakama by Ryusei who had also quickly dressed. When they were fully dressed they called out their farewells before leaving the room. 

“We are lucky to have Ryusei. He is an amazing InuYoukai and a great individual,” said Sesshomaru. 

“Does he know you think so highly of him,” I asked finding myself snuggling into Sesshomaru’s side finding comfort in his arms once more.

“I have said as much, maybe not in as many words,” he replied seriously. 

“You should let him know in as many ways and words as possible. It is important that your children know of your love.”

He nodded and leaned over placing a kiss on my head. 

“Why is it, Ryusei seems to be unsure on whether to call me Otoochan or ChiChue,” I asked out of curiosity. 

“When he was younger he always called you ChiChue. I suppose as he grew up he thought ChiChue was a childs name for ones parent but upon your disappearance he seemed so stressed and he looked it when he thought no one was watching. I was a bit surprised and amused to hear him call you Chichue upon seeing you again. That young man is your son and he holds you in high esteem and so it matters not to me what calls you as long as you are around for him to call,” I nodded and felt Sesshomaru’s love and pride for his firstborn and heir. 

We sat in the spring until my fingers and toes wrinkled and I when it was time to leave I pouted but did so with Sesshomaru’s assistance and once I was dressed in clean maternity kimono and hakama I was lifted into Sesshomaru’s arms and carried up not one but two flights of stairs. I rested in bed and when dinner time came I was carried back down the stairs. We ate and talked and little by little memories came back. 

At the end of my first week home a mighty snow storm came covered the land in layers of snow deep enough that it came to the twins chests. And as the snow came I felt my child descend and knew it wouldn’t be long before we welcomed another member into the InuYoukai clan. 

 

To Be Continued….

I wrote this while sorting through all the songs in my Itunes. Of course I enjoyed writing this song to “Dearest” by Ayumi Hamasaki which was used in InuYasha. Ayumi has such a beautiful voice with amazing lyrics, its amazing to create scenes using her music.   
So another chapter done and another to come. Thank you for reading. Here’s hoping I’ll have another chapter done this week. Today was thanks to being snowed in and an unexpected day off from work. Yay!

Kat


	34. Chapter 34: I know I can’t be with you

Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!   
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. 

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!  
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

 

Chapter 34: I know I can’t be with you

 

The snow piled high outside of our humble abode, though I suppose you can’t really call a castle humble. 

I spent my every waking moment spoiled and pampered by those around me, even my children who seem enamored with me and their soon to be born sibling. I was rarely left alone but on the odd days when I was; I often napped, feeling all my energy drained as my body worked to prepare for the impending birth. 

As much as I seemed to sleep I was rarely able to rest longer than two or three hours. My body was sore and achy and I tossed and turned as much as I was able and when I found a comfortable position I slept for an hour or two before waking up and doing it all again and in-between it all I would eat and relieve my aching bladder of its minor burden and sometimes Sesshomaru would insist on carrying me to the hot springs. 

The springs were amazing and though I was told to not soak in them too long because such hot water for long periods could be bad for the child I carried; I still enjoyed every pain stealing restful minute. More than once I fell asleep against Sesshomaru’s firm chest in the hot spring until he woke me and helped me to dry off and dress. 

It had been a little over two weeks and I was far past caring that my swollen belly covered in stretch marks was visible to the one I had called mate and was beginning to again. Sesshomaru never reacted negatively upon seeing my body and instead he seemed almost positively infatuated with it and the movements the one inside produced. I felt loved and comforted in his presence which seemed almost at odds with some of my older memories. I would simply shove my negative thoughts to the back of my mind and remind myself how much I had changed and that others could change just as much as I had. 

The troop flourished in castle and seemed to won over all who called it home including Sesshomaru. They had put on a beautiful performance for all who dwelled within the castle; Sesshomaru had even allowed the help to stop whatever duties they were performing to watch and listen. Their performance had allowed the odd tension that surrounded them to break and they soon found themselves surrounded by fans and admirers, young and old. 

Hiroaki had made quick friends with Sesshomaru and his chief of guards and I was none too surprised that they were working to convince him to stay once spring came. I was also none too surprised to hear that Naomi, Midoriko and Aoiyuki had also become the best of friends. 

Kiyomi and Kiyoko had befriended Chiouka and the three were usually happily gossiping, doing makeup and hair or teaching Chiouka to dance with Midoriko’s help. I was promised a small performance once they were certain Chiouka’s abilities had much improved. I was amused to hear from Sesshomaru that Chiouka had gone as far as to incorporate her dancing into her fighting style and he described her as “beautifully dangerous” and “quite talented”. 

Chiasa and Masa were able to enjoy the days most children took for granted as they ran and frolicked through the hallways with Hisso and Hade. The four of them were certainly quite the sight…not to mention the ruckus they made. But…they were happy and they were cooped inside on most days so we all bore it with as much grace as we could unless they broke something and even then Sesshomaru would pull all four aside and force them into combat practice in the hopes that he could help them use up their endless supply of energy. It worked more than he would admit and I was amused to find not only my sons snuggled in bed with me but Chiasa and Masa as well after such a lesson.

I was happy and almost carefree as I watched friends and children interact and live happily in the place that had been my home and would be once more. 

I was pampered and spoiled and anything I wanted was provided for. Sesshomaru rarely left my side. He slept in my room with me and shared the same bed and his behavior was so gentlemanly that I found it quite endearing. Every morning I would wake to his serious golden eyes staring intently at me, as if afraid I would vanish from his sight and on the few rare occasions I awoke before him I was given the rare treat of seeing his face slack in sleep with his pale silver eyelashes laying on even paler skin. He was beautiful and though he told me I was more so I had a hard time seeing it as I looked him over and his mere presence reminded me of some deity fallen to earth. 

I was certainly enamored though I was almost afraid to call developing feelings love and if they weren’t they were pretty close. The mere thought of Sesshomaru not being in that bed when I woke or the thought he would never be again made my breath cease and my chest ache something horrible. 

As one month came and went I had grown even bigger and to my surprise I had an excess of energy. I found myself cleaning and straightening and rearranging my quarters and room. I rearranged all the blankets on my bed and gathered as many pillows as I could and though my mind was telling me I was being silly those around me seemed to not care and I found odd offerings of blankets, quilts and pillows from my children, Sesshomaru and amusingly…Reika and the other servants whom often waited on and assisted me everyday. 

Naomi and Aoiyuki had both come to the same conclusion…

I was “nesting” which meant that I was nearing the final stretch and soon my little one would be ready to meet the world outside. I was nervous and jittery and yet I felt like I was more than ready. Seeing my four children I had already birthed helped to ease any worries and stress I felt about the situation because I had birthed not only two separate children but twins. Aoiyuki had said, “If you can birth twins then you can birth this little one” and I agreed. 

I felt the pressure increase in my pelvis and noticed my belly’s change in shape and it was odd to feel the first twinges and laces of sharp pain shoot down my back and hips and pull low in my belly and deep below it. What began as small pains felt once or twice a day soon grew to larger and sharper pains that left me almost breathless with their intensity. As they continued to grow closer from one every few hours to one every hour I slowly pulled myself away from the highly occupied areas of the castle where I often felt myself lost amidst the conversations and activity. I found it hard to converse or follow conversations and instead of excusing myself I simply would quietly slip away. 

I tried to not worry anyone though I probably was a lost cause in that area. I waddled the halls of the castle as nervous energy and pains combined oddly, though walking seemed to help both. 

I found myself lost in thoughts as I walked through the pains and I had delved so deep into my mind that I hadn’t noticed the presence that seemed to stay close and watch from a distance and yet I seemed to draw comfort from it and when a strong pain caused me to lean heavily against the wall I found a soft hand on mine caressing gently while another hand gently rubbed along my back. I looked up and into a pair of golden eyes filled with sympathy and strength.

“Shall I call for Aoiyuki or would you prefer to wait a bit longer?”

I let out a deep breath and breathed in deeply once more as my body lightly shook from the shock of the pain that had just washed over it. 

I shook my head, “Can you walk with me back to our room?”

He nodded and I gave him my right arm which he wrapped and enfolded in his left. We walked slowly and stopped once more in our slow journey as pain once more engulfed me in its embrace. I gasped and gripped his arm as I breathed through it and avoided fighting it, simply letting it wash over me. When it had ended we walked some more and soon we reached the stairs and we carefully made our way a little at a time and as carefully as I could manage. 

Once we had reached the top I felt pain once more wrap around me almost suffocating me as I breathed through it I felt my body leave the floor and found myself scooped up into a pair of strong arms that pressed me into a well muscled chest. 

Sesshomaru stared down me and I shuddered as the pain left me gasping while I clung to him. He wasted no time in walking to the room we shared and with some swift maneuvering he had opened the door and walked inside, not stopping until he had reached the bed I had made into a nest. He gently set my feet on the floor and made it so that I could lean against the bed which stood lifted up off the floor as high as my pelvis. 

“Is there anything you need before I go fetch Aoiyuki?”

I turned to look him in the eye and took the time to assess myself and nodded before finding my voice which sounded thick and pain filled even to my own ears. 

“Can you help me to shed these outer layers?”

He didn’t answer, his fingers simply skittered over my body loosening ties and soon my obi and the thick outer robes were gone leaving my overheated body to cool in the cold air. I felt my heavy hair along my body and watched as it fell in waves around my face as I leaned forward onto the bed and I didn’t even have to ask or voice my annoyance before his strong and nimble fingers deftly pulled my locks together and away from face. I felt the light tugging and pulling as he pulled my hair into a bun atop my head. 

I was about to thank him when the pressure built and the pain became something unbearable causing me to cry out as liquid poured down my thighs. I gasped and though my mind said to wait for Aoiyuki or Midoriko before doing anything my body and instincts began cramping painfully and so I did as my body bid and pushed into the pain groaning as I did so until my opening burned and stung something fierce.

“I’m going to fetch Aoiyuki,” and before he could leave my side I cried out and shook my head grabbing his hand and pulling it and him to my side. 

I gasped and he stared at me in confusion and as the burning and stinging increased I lost all modesty and simply lead his hand between my robe and between my legs where the pain was building as I looked into his eyes and I saw his own honeyed pools widen in shock. 

I gripped what I could of his arm as he knelt behind me and I felt my robe lifted and pushed aside as I pushed into the pain, stopping to catch my breath before the pain began once more. I bore into it and felt Sesshomaru’s free hand gently rub my inner thighs as I felt more movement with it the burning lessened only to start again. 

“Just the shoulders now,” Sesshomaru gently crooned as pain descended once more and I bore into the pain with a deep groan that ended on a yell and then the pressure and burning ended as I felt my child’s body leave my own. 

I stood on wobbly knees and legs as I fought for breath, my body still cramping and stinging but not nearly as bad as it had been before. My head laid on the bed as well as my upper body and as I lay there the soft and wet cries of a newborn echoed in the room and helped to clear my mind as I fought to lift my head. I turned my head and partially turned my body and stared down at Sesshomaru who seemed enraptured with the tiny being wrapped in his arms and my abandoned obi; which he used to wipe and clean our wailing child. 

“We have another son Inuyasha,” and as the words left his mouth he sounded happy and relieved and I watched as he lifted his fingers and gently prodded soft snow white puppy ears folded atop our sons head, nestled in downy white locks. 

I felt my body cramp and as I dealt with the aftermath I watched as Sesshomaru stood and wrapped our son in a makeshift swaddling. Both of us heard the commotion in the hallway before Aoiyuki followed by Midoriko and Naomi entered the room. They took one look at me and the bundle in Sesshomaru’s arms and I saw Aoiyuki visibly sigh in annoyance while the other two simply looked on in amusement and surprise.

“I’ll see to it that warm water is prepared and brought up and then we’ll see to setting you to rights,” said Naomi as walked to the doorway and called for a servant. 

Midoriko made her way over to Inuyasha and stood at his side smiling down at my son, “You do make very pretty babies.”

“They do, you just have to be on your toes because you never know when or where they’ll be born,” said Aoiyuki finding humor in it instead of annoyance like she first had. 

“I am glad to boost that I have so far been apart of all but one of my pups births,” and as Sesshomaru said it I had a memory come to my mind of giving birth in a room with Sesshomaru’s heavy presence covering the area as I bore down and screamed into a thick piece of leather. 

“Technically you were there for all of their births,” I said aloud as I felt the soft prodding of Aoiyuki’s hands along my belly, pressing and prodding to make sure everything had been expelled. 

“Yes, yes…I know…I was outside while you birthed Ryusei,” and as he said it I could see dry humor in his expression. 

I gasped as Aoiyuki prodded my opening before she issued a quick apology and then she gently cleaned my lower body with a warm wet rag. Once I was cleaned I was helped into a thickly padded fundoshi and a clean robe before I was helped up onto my bed and my nest of blankets and pillows. I sighed deeply and made myself comfortable before extending my arms. 

Sesshomaru gently placed our clean but still sniffling son in my arms and I gently shushed him as I brought him to my chest; moving the robe out of the way as I offered him my swollen chest in the hopes he would have his first suckle. He seemed lost at first and I gave him a few moments to nuzzle and once that tiny mouth found my nipple he began suckling heartily and after a minute he successfully latched on drank heartily. I snuggled into my nest of warm blankets and as our son suckled Sesshomaru made himself comfortable next to us. 

When our son had finished his meal it was Sesshomaru who carefully lifted him to his shoulder and gently rubbed his small back, helping to bring up his first air. It took a few minutes and once it was done he was returned to my arms and I fell asleep surrounded by soft warmth and Sesshomaru’s arms that encircled both his son and I. 

 

To Be Continued…

Sorry guys. Work has been hell….

Still no help and we’re about to celebrate our 50th anniversary…FML… I’m exhausted. 

So here’s a chapter in the hopes I can finish this fic and then start finishing another one while I start writing the one that’s currently in my head… Yeah… totally working on a Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on titan) fic… Yeah… going to try my first AlphaxOmega fic. We’ll see how it turns out. 

Kat

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Inu sketch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9475610) by [LL8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LL8/pseuds/LL8)




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